Ed Smart, father of Elizabeth Smart, announces he is gay

[OnlinePoker]

Ed Smart, the father of kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart, shared in a Facebook message with family and friends Thursday that he is gay, divorcing his wife and doesn’t see a place for himself in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In “one of the hardest letters I have ever written,” Smart wrote that “I have recently acknowledged to myself and my family that I am gay.”

“The decision to be honest and truthful about my orientation comes with its own set of challenges, but at the same time it is a huge relief,” he wrote. “Living with the pain and guilt I have for so many years, not willing to accept the truth about my orientation has at times brought me to the point where I questioned whether life was still worth living.”

https://www.ksl.com/article/46618709/ed-smart-father-of-elizabeth-smart-announces-he-is-gay

[get the red out]

1. Churches

That hate LGBTQ people fuck up a lot of lives.

[Hortensis]

2. Well, hopefully ultimately a happy life ahead for both of them.

His wife will still have their strong support system of friends, family and church society after the divorce, and they'll both have their daughter, who apparently lives in SLC. For him it's different, of course, he loses his old life and what was good about it, but hopefully his new freedom comes with wings.

[pnwmom]

4. At this point it is likely much harder for his wife. He was the one who chose the divorce

and the timing of it, and he'll have very strong support in the gay community.

She's left to try to pick up the pieces of the life she thought she had. Don't assume she knew all about him and was prepared for this. She could be reeling. And if she still loves him she'll be as sad as anyone whose spouse has left them for someone else (even if he doesn't have a particular someone else.)

[deurbano]

5. Plus, if she's still Mormon, that marriage was supposed to be for eternity.

[Ilsa]

6. And at their age, you have to wonder how she is affected financially.

She may not have much in SSI if she was a typical Mormon homemaker. I guess he would owe her spousal support.

Then again, maybe they are rich and it doesn't matter.

[Hortensis]

7. We used to have a lot of Mormons in our neighborhood.

Like anywhere else, she'll have to adjust to being a single woman after life in what had likely been mostly couples circles at her age. She may pick up another single friend or two. But she's not going anywhere, and Mormon society is very strong and close. Life is lived focused inward on that society, and most of her social support structure and all of that focused on religion -- very important to her, will remain intact.

For him, leaving that very strong, supportive society means losing it. Some relatives and a friend or two will likely quietly keep a connection open, but basically there's no halfway. The door will close and he's outside.

[pnwmom]

13. How many of the people you knew in that community had a mixed orientation marriage

that fell apart? You're assuming this hasn't shaken her to the core, and that many of those in her community won't be blaming HER for not keeping the marriage together.

Also, her going to heaven in her belief structure always has depended on him literally taking her there.

I'm in a group of children from these families, including parents who were or are Mormon.. I think you're underestimating the impact on his wife.

[Hortensis]

23. Perhaps I am. Adults are like the children kidnapped

At the border. We vary tremendously in resilience, and I can’t say how resilient she is or what kind of personalities the leaders of her personal group have.

[LisaL]

10. Yea, I bet it was a shock to her considering they had multiple children.

[cwydro]

12. The majority of my gay friends have children.

It’s not at all shocking.

I never had kids myself, but pretty much everyone I’ve known or dated had children.

[pnwmom]

15. That doesn't mean it wasn't shocking to the straight spouse. I know my mother was shocked,

and she also had 5 kids.

[cwydro]

16. Well yeah, I guess you have a point there!

I was going to use the laughing smilie, but I realized there’s not a thing funny about it.

I’m glad he’s able to be himself, but it’s still heartbreaking for his family, especially the wife. Odd thing, my ex always said he was gay.

[pnwmom]

18. On top of everything else, they were Catholics so they'd been using

Natural Family Planning.(And neither had had any experience before a young marriage.) My mother must have been "fertile Myrtle" because they managed to repeatedly get pregnant under the most inauspicious conditions.

Also, some priest had counseled my father that his un-acted on "feelings" would go away once he was married. My mother knew nothing about that, but neither of them really understood there was such a thing as "being gay."

[cwydro]

19. That must have been very difficult for your family.

I’ve had friends who came out after being married and having children. Very distressing time for everyone involved.

[pnwmom]

20. I was an adult by then. The hardest part was worrying about my mom, a long plane trip away.

It was harder on my younger siblings, one of whom was in college -- and was the most affected by my parents' continuing conflict. (Mom had to pay for his college out of her divorce money, which was limited.) And it didn't happen in an accepting era -- we were in the midst of the "AIDS crisis." Dad's friends were getting diagnosed and no one knew what caused it or how it spread.

[cwydro]

21. Wow, so you had that fear on top of the whole thing.

Is your family ok now? Did your dad and mom get through it all? I mean, good you were an adult, but that still had to be a hell of a trauma, especially dealing with your mother’s hurt and your siblings.

My father cheated on my mom when we were adults. I remember the horror of all that. Mom would have forgiven him anything, and did. My sis and I were not so forgiving, and I remember my mom telling us it was none of our business. Rough time.

I imagine your pain.

[pnwmom]

22. Thank you, cwydro.

It was a mess for a while. My father had moved to another city, where he was out. But Mom was still in their home, and she wanted all of us to keep the secret, so we did. And of course none of their friends could figure out why a nice couple got divorced, when there wasn't an obvious reason.

Mom's other problem was financial. She had been working for Dad's small business, so that was the end of her job as well. We had to lend her money till she could sell her house (which was the only asset they had, and Dad handed it over.)

Finally Mom moved to the next town, and her neighbor in the condo next to her was also a woman whose husband had left her for a man! So that helped. But she still insisted none of us share about Dad -- for decades.

She'd made her peace with everything by the time she died, but I still have a sister in a red state who is keeping the secret, and would be very upset with me if I told mutual friends. I once posted about Dad on a Facebook group full of progressives, so I didn't worry about my sister seeing it. And she didn't. But a woman we went to high school with -- one of the people my sister ordered me never to tell -- turned out to be on that site. And she messaged me a warm note, and mentioned that her family had known about Dad since the time of the divorce. My sister still doesn't know about that.

[LisaL]

9. Daughter?

They have six children.

[Maraya1969]

3. I wish that he get through this hard time in his life with peace and find happiness in the truth

about himself.

[samplegirl]

8. What a way to do it

on Facebook no less.

[cwydro]

17. Ugh yeah, the facebook thing is cringe-worthy.

Yikes.

[peacefreak2.0]

11. I applaud his honesty.

I wish peace for all his loved ones.

[Johnny2X2X]

14. Good luck to him

But why hold a press conference?

Is he trying to help others who are struggling under the oppression of religion?