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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDenmark Offers to Buy U.S.
COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)After rebuffing Donald J. Trumps hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.
As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale, a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime, pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.
Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government, the spokesperson added. A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country to be determined, with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
If Denmarks bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation, the spokesperson said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/denmark-offers-to-buy-us
tblue37
(65,227 posts)I want my European socialism!
NewJeffCT
(56,828 posts)the price is a lot lower than it could be
lpbk2713
(42,744 posts)"You don't buy me out. I buy YOU out."
John1956PA
(2,654 posts)Cyrano
(15,027 posts)That way, all the money transferred from those states to states that refuse to raise any taxes, will be fucked.
Let them live with no schools, subsides to their favored businesses, and graft to their political class.
How long do you think it will take before those states become Trumpian "shitholes?"
Sanity Claws
(21,841 posts)If Denmark has any money left over, they can buy Boston, Seattle, and a few other good blue cities.
Can anyone send a tweet to Denmark and ask them to buy us?
volstork
(5,399 posts)trumpian shitholes.
geardaddy
(24,926 posts)Denmark can buy us!
Gothmog
(144,945 posts)barbtries
(28,774 posts)how sad is that.
FoxNewsSucks
(10,427 posts)that they have put on the US. 22 trillion and climbing.
Just now wondered if maybe the actual plan is to loot as much as possible on debt, bankrupt the US and then MF45 will LITERALLY sell us out to Putin. Cheap.
pangaia
(24,324 posts)they can leave out the REALLY rural areas.. let them pay off the debt. They voted for these racist fuckers...
murielm99
(30,717 posts)It had terrible reviews, but I loved it. I own a VHS copy of it.
Much of it has proven to be prophetic.
gldstwmn
(4,575 posts)dalton99a
(81,406 posts)calimary
(81,136 posts)volstork
(5,399 posts)the Danes take over.
Haggis for Breakfast
(6,831 posts)volstork
(5,399 posts)consistently top that list. They don't fear bankruptcy and destitution like Americans do.
Fritz Walter
(4,291 posts)Including and especially on the land surrounding Drumpf properties!
Even in the ocean next to Mar-a-Loco!
roamer65
(36,744 posts)kairos12
(12,844 posts)country. Don't think so.
Politicub
(12,165 posts)I, for one, welcome our Danish overlords.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,007 posts)bhikkhu
(10,713 posts)If they want a toe in the door, I'd suggest buying the West Coast first. Maybe I'd prefer Norway bought us, but Denmark is cool too.
erronis
(15,185 posts)riversedge
(70,093 posts)William Sommers
@fight_extremism
·
3h
Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.
🥊
A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country to be determined, with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
🥊
#GreenlandPurchase
Link to tweet
?s=20
Bluepinky
(2,265 posts)And dont forget Moscow Mitch.
treestar
(82,383 posts)deal is on! I welcome our Danish overlords.
sinkingfeeling
(51,438 posts)cab67
(2,990 posts)I'd be willing to consider an offer.
Sneederbunk
(14,279 posts)Paladin
(28,243 posts)God bless, yet again, Andy Borowitz---somebody who knows how satire is supposed to work.
SouthernProgressive
(1,810 posts)We have been sold to Russia.
mainstreetonce
(4,178 posts)Let's talk...
Sneederbunk
(14,279 posts)The Wielding Truth
(11,411 posts)dchill
(38,453 posts)rurallib
(62,387 posts)Larrybanal
(227 posts)they just haven't started demanding payment yet
aggiesal
(8,907 posts)Uncle Joe
(58,300 posts)Thanks for the thread Zorro.
ginnyinWI
(17,276 posts)Move the trumpies down there in their own country and let Donnie be their king. Mara Lago the capitol. Build a big beautiful wall to keep them there. Allow them no military except for their own well regulated militia. See how far they get without US federal aid. It can be a hereditary monarchy so Donnie jr. can succeed his dad.
jcgoldie
(11,613 posts)Especially if they swap me a little space for my goats over there.
The Liberal Lion
(1,414 posts)AllyCat
(16,152 posts)PatrickforO
(14,561 posts)liberal safety nets!
We won't be a sh**hole country any more!
Upthevibe
(8,018 posts)SunSeeker
(51,523 posts)oasis
(49,338 posts)Raster
(20,998 posts)...and bid FUCK YOU and FAREWELL to the tRump* family as they head to their new home in Russia*.
Dasvidania, bitches.
malthaussen
(17,175 posts)Especially since Denmark banks are now offering negative-interest mortgages.
-- Mal