Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.

[Zorro]

COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.

“As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime, pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.”

“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added. A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.

If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/denmark-offers-to-buy-us

[tblue37]

1. K&R for visibility. Love Borowitz. nt

[Va Lefty]

2. SOLD!

I want my European socialism!

[NewJeffCT]

3. with the massive amounts of debt the nation has

the price is a lot lower than it could be

[lpbk2713]

4. Moe Greenland

"You don't buy me out. I buy YOU out."

[volstork]

38. LOL!

[John1956PA]

51. Great connection! n/t

[Cyrano]

5. Why don't they just buy NY, CAL, and three or four other wealthy states

That way, all the money transferred from those states to states that refuse to raise any taxes, will be fucked.

Let them live with no schools, subsides to their favored businesses, and graft to their political class.

How long do you think it will take before those states become Trumpian "shitholes?"

[Sanity Claws]

12. I live in NYC and want to ask Denmark to buy us from the US

If Denmark has any money left over, they can buy Boston, Seattle, and a few other good blue cities.
Can anyone send a tweet to Denmark and ask them to buy us?

[volstork]

39. They already ARE

trumpian shitholes.

[geardaddy]

56. I live in Minnesota and we pay loads toward the deadbeat states

Denmark can buy us!

[Gothmog]

6. I love good satire

[barbtries]

7. i actually wish that could be true.

how sad is that.

[FoxNewsSucks]

8. Sometimes I wonder about republicon's massive debt

that they have put on the US. 22 trillion and climbing.

Just now wondered if maybe the actual plan is to loot as much as possible on debt, bankrupt the US and then MF45 will LITERALLY sell us out to Putin. Cheap.

[pangaia]

29. If Denmark is cagey about it.

they can leave out the REALLY rural areas.. let them pay off the debt. They voted for these racist fuckers...

[murielm99]

9. This made me flash back to a movie called, "Americathon."

It had terrible reviews, but I loved it. I own a VHS copy of it.

Much of it has proven to be prophetic.

[gldstwmn]

10. Yes please.

[dalton99a]

11. Kick

[calimary]

13. Andy Borowitz!!!

[volstork]

14. I'd gladly let

the Danes take over.

[Haggis for Breakfast]

35. Wasn't Denmark named one of the happiest countries on earth ?

[volstork]

37. Most of the Scandinavian nations

consistently top that list. They don't fear bankruptcy and destitution like Americans do.

[Fritz Walter]

15. And wind turbines EVERYWHERE

Including and especially on the land surrounding Drumpf properties!

Even in the ocean next to Mar-a-Loco!

[roamer65]

16. Hey Denmark, Michigan is for sale!!!

[kairos12]

17. With Trump you are buying a s--hole

country. Don't think so.

[Politicub]

18. Sold!

I, for one, welcome our Danish overlords.

[FailureToCommunicate]

36. Tak!

[bhikkhu]

44. Tusen Takk!

If they want a toe in the door, I'd suggest buying the West Coast first. Maybe I'd prefer Norway bought us, but Denmark is cool too.

[erronis]

19. Gofundme, please. I'll send all my loose change and some big bills too!

[riversedge]

20. "A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Tru

William Sommers
@fight_extremism
·
3h
Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.
🥊


“A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.”
🥊


#GreenlandPurchase

Link to tweet

?s=20

[Bluepinky]

47. Relocate Donald Trump, his family and his Nazi supporters, too.

And don’t forget Moscow Mitch.

[treestar]

21. If they are going to relocate Donald Trump to another country

deal is on! I welcome our Danish overlords.

[sinkingfeeling]

22. I wish

[cab67]

23. How much are they offering?

I'd be willing to consider an offer.

[Sneederbunk]

52. They think it is a fire sale.

[Paladin]

24. Denmark: Throw in mandatory capital punishment for the trump regime, and let's talk.

God bless, yet again, Andy Borowitz---somebody who knows how satire is supposed to work.

[SouthernProgressive]

25. Sorry Denmark.

We have been sold to Russia.

[mainstreetonce]

26. Do we get unlimited Danish pastries?

Let's talk...

[Sneederbunk]

54. Yes, and as much snuff as you want.

[The Wielding Truth]

27. That would make most of us Great Danes.

[dchill]

28. I am sad that this is not true.

[rurallib]

33. don't worry. China will be buying us soon enough.

[Larrybanal]

41. china already bought us

they just haven't started demanding payment yet

[aggiesal]

30. Sold! Maybe now we'll get universal health care. n/t

[Uncle Joe]

31. Kicked and recommended

Thanks for the thread Zorro.

[ginnyinWI]

32. How about restoring the Mason-Dixon Line,

Move the trumpies down there in their own country and let Donnie be their king. Mara Lago the capitol. Build a big beautiful wall to keep them there. Allow them no military except for their own “well regulated militia.” See how far they get without US federal aid. It can be a hereditary monarchy so Donnie jr. can succeed his dad.

[jcgoldie]

34. I'll throw in my farm

Especially if they swap me a little space for my goats over there.

[The Liberal Lion]

40. This would be awesome

[AllyCat]

42. I vote yes!!

[PatrickforO]

43. Let's do it! We'll all have healthcare, free college and

liberal safety nets!

We won't be a sh**hole country any more!

[Upthevibe]

45. I love it! n/t

[SunSeeker]

46. Go for it! nt

[oasis]

48. Talk to Putin. nt

[Raster]

49. I welcome our new benevolent Danish overlords...

...and bid FUCK YOU and FAREWELL to the tRump* family as they head to their new home in Russia*.

Dasvidania, bitches.

[malthaussen]

50. Sold!

Especially since Denmark banks are now offering negative-interest mortgages.

-- Mal

[Heartstrings]

53. If only...........nt

[ReformedGOPer]

55. Perfect