Man Chanting 'Send Her Back' Can't Locate His Home State on a Map
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Last night, right-wing podcaster, commentator, and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins was among the crowd at President Donald Trump’s MAGA rally. Though he lives hundreds of miles away in another state, Bohiggins says it was a “no brainer” decision for him to hop in his 1989 Ford sedan and drive up to North Carolina to attend the rally. Bohiggins was among those who gleefully chanted “Send her back” when Trump brought up Minnesota congresswoman Rep. Ilhan Omar’s name.
“It was one of the best moments I’ve ever had as a pure, white, good, clean, all American patriot,” Bohiggins told listeners today on his podcast. “Nothing says freedom, liberty, and independence like shouting at a brown person to leave your country because you’re offended by the words that come out of their mouth! And if those words are all namby-pamby, hippie dippie crap about letting people be free to choose their own, best life, then that’s even better! True freedom is doing what the GOP and its orange savior tell us to do, is it not fam?”
Bohiggins says that the chanting reminded him “very much” of some of his favorite times as an American.
“It’s like when you’re lightin’ up a big ol’ wooden lowercase T, for Trump, on some uppity urban’s lawn, and you and your, um, clan, start spontaneously whistlin’ Dixie and chanting, ‘Jews will not replace us!’,” Bohiggins ranted, “Or when we were burning all those copies of the Koran and the AP U.S. history textbooks! There’s just something very American about mobs and chanting stuff about brown people that makes the bald eagle in my heart soar!”
As much fun as he had at the rally, Jethro says things took a little bit of a downward turn as he was driving back home.
“See, the problem, fam, is that I’m not a cuck, so I refuse to have one of those smartphones. We all know you only get so-called smart in so-called schools, and schools are where libtards indoctrinate us, so I don’t need nothin’ that’s smart in my life,” Bohiggins explained, “not no smartphone. Not no smart TVs. Not no smart president. I like my shit easy and dumb, fam!”
Because he doesn’t own a smartphone, Jethro was left to rely on maps to navigate himself from the rally in North Carolina, back to his home state of Tennessee. But, there was one problem with that, as well.
“I also don’t buy no books, ever, because for the same reasons! Books mean education, which means libtard indoctrination, so I don’t buy any Thomas Guides or nothin’,” Jethro said. “The problem was that I guess I had accidentally used my map as a napkin when I stopped off at the Chick-Fil-A. See, napkins for customers only and I was just there to rub one out. Point is, I lost my map, fam, and I was stuck for a good long while in North Carolina.”
https://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/bohiggins-send-her-back/
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