Chris Rock Tweets

[Playinghardball]

5hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Clint Eastwood debated a chair and the chair won. #RNC #GOP2012

40mChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

The Dems should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, & when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden #DNC2012

1hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

BREAKING NEWS: CNN REPORTS: Last night when he got home, Clint Eastwood got in a huge fight with the rest of his furniture. #RNC #GOP2012

2hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Romney proves w/ a little hard work & a little luck, even a multimillionaire white guy from Harvard can succeed in this country #GOP2012

2hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Mitt Romney says he's never paid less than 13% in taxes, which I think is fair because only 13% of his money is in this country #GOP2012

2hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Clint Eastwood, an 82 year old man who has had 7 children with 5 women, was married twice & talking to me about family values! #RNC #GOP2012

4hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist


4hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer." #RN


6hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Republicans are getting so confident of beating Obama they've started admitting he was born here #RNC #GOP2012

7hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

Half a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be mad #RNC

7hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

The people who demanded to see Obama's birth certificate dont seem the slightest bit interested in seeing Romney's tax returns #RNC #GOP2012

[KT2000]

1. Ha! Every one of them is great n/t

[Raster]

2. This is the keeper:

The people who demanded to see Obama's birth certificate don't seem the slightest bit interested in seeing Romney's tax returns #RNC #GOP2012

[DesertRat]

49. He is, but that's not his twitter account

It says in the description it's a parody. Chris Rock's twitter account is @ChrisRock

[efhmc]

4. Love the furniture fight one.

[hamsterjill]

32. That's my favorite one, too.

I started laughing and just can't seem to stop!

[ProSense]

5. Favorite:

Mitt Romney says he's never paid less than 13% in taxes, which I think is fair because only 13% of his money is in this country #GOP2012

[Overseas]

56. Loved it too.

[DefenseLawyer]

6. This guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer!

Classic Chris Rock.

[Care Acutely]

31. loved that one too n/t

[Misskittycat]

51. My favorite; I was drinking some iced tea and it came out my nose. nt

[liberal N proud]

7. These ROCK!

[flamingdem]

9. he's good, and I think he really writes those! nt

[Aerows]

10. This is the bottom line

"If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer." #RN "

[Cali_Democrat]

11. These are the funniest tweets I've seen about the RNC

[bulloney]

37. I still love the Facebook remark saying Clint Eastwood's in his bathroom yelling at the toilet.

And there's another Facebook comment floating around asking everyone to go easy on Clint. He was asked to criticize Obamacare and Eastwood thought they said Obama chair.

[aquart]

12. That man is so smart and so sharp...

I'm just grateful he uses his powers for good.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

26. true!

though I think being smart and sharp are incompatible with repukeism.

[G_j]

13. brilliant! nt

[JoePhilly]

14. Awesome.

[proverbialwisdom]

15. Thanks!

[habitual]

16. here's another:

Clint Eastwood on the phone with Obama now: "It all went according to plan,sir." - Chris Rock

[Skittles]

17. CHRIS ROCK FAN HERE

love his voice, his comedy, his WIT!

[Cha]

18. Chris was a a Roll! So many

comedians last night.. who knew the rnc would be so side splitting Funny?!!

I didn't see the speech..so did Clint really talk about "Family Values"? For crying out loud!

Thanks Playinghardball..

[Behind the Aegis]

19. Awesome! Love Chris Rock.

This is the best, by far: The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist

So very true!

[Did I Just Type This]

20. Chris Rock is a brilliant comedian

He should tour with Romney and provide a loosely translated account of Mitt's adventures.

[progressoid]

21. Gold, pure gold.

[Carnage251]

22. @chrisrockoz is a parody account

His official verified account is @chrisrock

[iamthebandfanman]

62. nobody seems to care ;) n/t

[ellisonz]

23. Ruthless

40mChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

The Dems should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, & when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden #DNC2012

[Scuba]

44. That's classic.

[Initech]

24. Ha ha those are awesome!!!

[progressivebydesign]

25. All great. This is my fave: "The Dems should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC....

..& when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden"

Word.

[Javaman]

27. Last night when he got home, Clint Eastwood got in a huge fight with the rest of his furniture.

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

!!!!!

!!!!!!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

28. Robbin' people with a six-gun,

[hedgehog]

29. "If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's like saying,

"this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer."

[Champion Jack]

30. Dirty Chairy

[me b zola]

33. Chris Rocks

[lady lib]

34. Fantastic

Chris Rocks!

[emmadoggy]

35. Good stuff, indeed!! nt

[Tx4obama]

36. K & R n/t

[freshwest]

38. Chris ROCKS!!!

[PD Turk]

39. K&R!!

This shit BURNS!!

[MrMickeysMom]

40. Chris Rock's best one should be everyone's byline...

"The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist!"

How true is this statement? Yeah, ME TOO!

[MrMickeysMom]

40. Chris Rock's best one should be everyone's byline...

"The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist!"

How true is this statement? Yeah, ME TOO!

[MrMickeysMom]

42. Man, How'd I DO that?

I duped something, so it must be head-banging true!

[tblue37]

43. My favorites:

The very funniest one:

BREAKING NEWS: CNN REPORTS: Last night when he got home, Clint Eastwood got in a huge fight with the rest of his furniture.

The other best ones:

The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist

Republicans are getting so confident of beating Obama they've started admitting he was born here #RNC #GOP2012

Edited to add one other favorite:

If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer."

[Bucky]

45. Chris Rock's writers always crack me up. They're the best.

[MrMickeysMom]

54. Hell... I don't think he needed them in this case!

[DirkGently]

46. Pure gold.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

47. I am I said ...

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

[DesertRat]

48. that's Not Chris Rock...it's a parody

the real Chris Rock is @ChrisRock

[calimary]

50. LOVE these!

Posted 'em on Facebook, too!

[spooky3]

52. I believe that the "half a billion dollars..." one was ripped off from Andy Borowitz.

[valerief]

53. Chris Rock is a national treasure! And these are funny, too. nt

[Overseas]

55. These made my day! So true! "The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform."

4hChris Rock‏@chrisrockoz

The empty chair was a metaphor for the entire GOP platform. There's nothing there, but blind hatred for a man that doesn't exist

[HCE SuiGeneris]

57. K & R

[DesertDiamond]

58. Remembering again why I looooooove Chris Rock!

[Mad_Dem_X]

59. These are awesome.

[mountain grammy]

60. Rock on, Chris!!

This old lady appreciates every word!

[bayareaboy]

61. Somewhere up in heaven or maybe hell ...

Lenny Bruce is thinking that Chris Rock can say in one sentence what it used to take an hour of riffing for me.