Intercepted Iranian comms discuss plan to destroy America by infiltrating its healthcare system

[ck4829]

Last edited Thu Jan 9, 2020, 08:54 AM - Edit history (1)

“We will infiltrate their healthcare system; deny them access to necessary surgeries and treatments, make them pay for things and in dollar amounts that would be unthinkable in other developed countries, we will nakedly jack up the prices for epi-pens and insulin and clearly not doing it because the cost to produce or distribute them has gone up but just because of the chance to make more money, our bills will be the leading cause of financial ruin for them, we will humiliate them by telling to pay for medical expenses with GoFundMe pages, and when we do these things they will be so mad and they will be like 'IRAN!' as they shake their fists at us and they will know it was us as their own 'greatest healthcare system' is attacking them because nobody would be insane enough to do these things to themselves!”

[Tommy_Carcetti]

2. The Onion or Borowitz?

Or your own work?

[ck4829]

3. Me

[PatSeg]

8. Well done!

[irisblue]

17. 👏👏👏👏👏 well done, well done

[Tommy_Carcetti]

25. BREAKING NEWS: ck4829 enters the satire game.

Details at Eleven.

[ck4829]

28. *Bows*

[alittlelark]

4. LOL !!

[CottonBear]

5. Funny! FYI: OP title should be "its" possessive not "it's contraction of it is.

Last edited Thu Jan 9, 2020, 12:04 PM - Edit history (1)

I don’t think that the GOP wants their uninformed voters to know that Iraq and Iran have better health care for all of their citizens than the US does.

Edit: spelling! Doh!

[ck4829]

6. Interesting. I was never taught that

[imaginary girl]

22. Do their voters wear uniforms?

Sorry, couldn't resist since you were correcting grammar!

[CottonBear]

24. Oops! Spellcheck doesn't help when the wrong word is spelled correctly!

Doh!

Thank you!

I’m typing on a teeny tiny phone!

[greyl]

30. Lol, there, there. nt

[BlancheSplanchnik]

7. Ha ha...

[Scarsdale]

9. Isn't this what the gop is

doing right now? So, are they in cahoots with the Iranians? The gop is not smart enough to figure out that they NEED a healthy workforce to pay taxes, keeping them in their do-nothing "jobs" with great benefits. Kill off all the little people and their taxes will explode. Someone will have to keep the Orange Mistake flying hither and yon to golf and rip off taxpayers.

[Sugar Smack]

10. Well then, they'd be copycatting the GOP.

[Habibi]

11. Thank god this is satire!

I read it thinking, "You mean they're going to make it worse than it already it?"

[Dukkha]

12. Mission Accomplished

Next thing you know Iran will spread propaganda that climate change isn't real so we do nothing to stop the environmental destruction to the planet! But surely no American would be stupid enough to deny what they can plainly see with them own eyes going on around them!

[yaesu]

13. There is a very easy way for Iran to destroy this country & I think they are implementing it

all they need to do is announce tRump as a great leader, that they will do anything he wants, tRump gets reelected, country destroyed.

[PatrickforO]

14. Well done!!!

My favorite part is 'nobody would be insane enough to do these things to themselves!'

Our problem is we have embraced a system that holds profits above human life. The profit motive has never, does not now, and will never belong in healthcare because it is in direct conflict with giving patients the treatment they need.

[mountain grammy]

15. Good work.

Send it to the Onion. Excellent.

[DemocracyMouse]

16. After "other developed countries" you need a period...

but otherwise, not bad satire!

It really does critique better than saying it straight. Our system is that ludicrous. I only hope Biden is listening...

[ck4829]

18. Invoking my license to be grammatically incorrect

I always feel like if one wants to make a list and it’s not formal, then it should be a run-on sentence if they want. Also, my grammarly app didn’t raise any flags about it

[IronLionZion]

19. Considering how much we spend on war

spending some of that on healthcare instead might save more American lives. America made it a priority decades ago to allocate money for killing people instead of helping people.

[marble falls]

20. We have met the enemy and by jingo he really is us!

[blm]

27. ✔️

[JoeOtterbein]

21. Yep!

That'll work! (LOL)

[Aristus]

23. Come on, Iran! Don't destroy our health care system!

We're too busy doing it ourselves!

[gibraltar72]

26. I saw what you did there.

[malaise]

29. Sounds more like a gathering of Big Pharma

ReTHUGs and lobbyists