Really struggling today
Last edited Thu Apr 23, 2020, 01:10 PM - Edit history (1)
Feels like an unending avalanche.
Found out yesterday that my former business partner and very dear friend passed (not COVID). I'd been trying to reach her for several weeks with no response, and her ex-husband didn't notify me when it happened in late Feb. Devastated by her loss. We were close friends and colleagues for over 20 years.
Huge business pressures - I've already had to furlough more than half of my employees and the finances are adding up to show that I'm probably going to need to lay off about 20% of my workforce by July 1 to allow the company to survive. This is keeping me up at night, every night. I have such a great crew and I don't know how I'm going to decide who stays and who goes.
Hubby is furloughed and understandably a bit resentful that I'm still working (12 hour days), so we're not in the greatest place. Even after nearly 40 years together, sometimes a little space is necessary.
My sister's BIL was rushed to ER last night with probable appendicitis and the hospital wouldn't allow any family in to be with him, so everyone is worried about that.
Heard about Elizabeth Warren's brother and that sent me into a flood of tears.
Just needed to get this out, or it would entirely overwhelm me. No reply necessary.
EDITED TO ADD: Thank you all so much for your kind and thoughtful words. They have helped more than I can express and reinforce why I love this community so much. I stepped away for a bit to meet with my CFO to solidify our plan for how we'd approach the layoffs and I feel like we have started to build an approach that will be very fair and will minimize the number of people we need to cut. The nature of the work makes it challenging to cut hours versus jobs, but we're going to look at the departments where that might be feasible.
You've helped me think about my strength and how to pull on those reserves. I am immensely grateful. 
= new reply since forum marked as read
You are struggling with so many losses and so much on your shoulders. I hope for better times soon.
And for the big decisions facing you. Positive thoughts & vibes coming your way.
at once and it's hard to bear. Take good care of yourself and make sure you get enough sleep and eat well. Check back in to let us know how things are going.
Each other.
Can you keep them, but cut their hours? Would they prefer that?
I wish you the best.
is send you a virtual hug to remind you that you are not alone.
as alone as you feel.
yesterday i was lonely. i video chatted with a couple people, called and talked on the phone to a friend who was feeling the same way, and watched Groundhog Day, because that feels kind of like life right now.
we really are in this together and this is how we stay strong when shit gets real and really hard.
But we're in this together....
It’s a measure of your innate being how you choose what to do in hard times. There are two ways to choose. You do what you want to do or you do what is best for all under the circumstances. It’s a hard test of character when no matter what you choose the outcome is hard.
You're obviously choosing what is best for everyone. The measure of your character is in how it keeps you up at night and how much it hurts you to have to let some of your people go. Just remember that keeping your business afloat is saving a lot of people from hardship.
Can't see 'em. Can only sense them in the thoughts and feelings that people post. And they're CERTAINLY there. Lifting you up, providing virtual support and strength, even while not in a physical sense. Emotionally, sympathetically, and empathetically though - very much a different story, thankfully.
I think it's helpful to read what everybody's posting about how this is affecting them. It widens our world, and our view and our filter of it. Husband and I are just a couple of retirees who are no longer involved in an active business/office sense, so there's no other way that WE can be helped to understand than to hear and share and read and learn how other people live and cope and need and struggle. I'm sorry you have to go through this with your business. I've been lucky enough to be part of some small businesses where it feels almost like your second family more than a mere job with coworkers. Everybody shares in the triumphs and good news, and consoles each other in adversity.
I hope you and your team can weather this storm all the way out. I hope you get the help you need, and I hope they all do, too. You sound like a boss who doesn't have a spread sheet where a human heart would be.
Virtual hugs! 
DU Vibes are legendary. I don't believe in much, but DU vibes have helped even me before. I hope these add to the love and help.