Obamagate was the worst crime ever committed and here is what it was

[IronLionZion]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/05/13/obamagate-was-worst-crime-ever-committed-here-is-what-it-was/

By Alexandra Petri

“What is the crime exactly that you’re accusing him of?”

“You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to everybody. All you have to do is read the newspapers, except yours.”

— President Trump responding to Washington Post reporter Philip Rucker

Obamagate began long ago, long before Trump even got elected, before he even knew he was running. It began before America, before time, in those early days when President Barack Obama lit the furnace of the sun, just before he fixed the paths of the planets in such a way that millennia in the future, Donald Trump would stare directly into a solar eclipse. And, of course, everyone knew about it.

Obamagate was the biggest political crime in American history by far, a fact that Barack Obama did not hesitate to tell Richard M. Nixon, causing him to shed bitter tears in an as-yet-unreleased tape. It was bigger than Teapot Dome. It was bigger than anything anyone blamed Ulysses Grant for allowing the people who surrounded him to do. Nothing could be worse than Obamagate. It went all the way to the top, where Obama floated inside a sinister Masonic eye at the apex of a pyramid on the back of a dollar bill, holding all the strings.

What was it? Well, I am coming to that. Obamagate, like the Myriad Crimes of Hillary Clinton (to which it was both prequel and sequel, like “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”) was almost Escher-esque in its design. It had no beginning and no end, and, of course, everyone knew all about it. Also, it was obvious to everyone how bad it was. It was a devious, sinister plot, but also Donald Trump was able to get to the bottom of it very easily, mainly by absorbing articles from FoxNews.com or the personal websites of former Fox News personalities.

This perspicacity is immediately evident when you hear Donald Trump talk about Obamagate. Only he can reveal with stunning clarity the depth and horror of this intrigue, in which “some terrible things happened” and “it’s a disgrace that it happened,” which we know from “if you look at now all of this information that’s being released.” “And from what I understand, it’s only the beginning.”

Alexandra Petri is satire, but this seemed too political for the lounge and I hope lurking freepers read it.

[brewens]

1. Seems like it was a black man being uppity enough to believe he could be President. n/t

[bearsfootball516]

2. Obamagate? Wasn't that when he put Dijon mustard on a burger and Hannity lost his mind?

[DTomlinson]

4. I thought it was when he wore a tan suit after bowing to the Saudi King and not saluting properly.

[Solomon]

10. And I thought it was the arugula.

[DTomlinson]

3. Obamagate was the worst crime ever. What was the crime? It was Obamagate, done by Obama.

What did Obama do? It was Obamagate.

What was Obamagate? It was the crime. Obama did the crime.

That's why it's called Obamagate. Because Obama did it.



This makes complete sense and is no way incoherent or good Lord, certainly not racist!

[maxsolomon]

5. "I am too amphetamine-addled to remember specifics of a CT, but let me use this opportunity

to belittle you and lie".

The slope to Authoritarianism is getting pretty goddamn slippery.

[IronLionZion]

7. He did award the medal of freedom to a racist drug addict

so he might be high as a kite when he sees the specifics of his CT, but then those brain cells die leaving the rest of his brain with "herd immunity". America doesn't have time for specifics. Trump is immune to your nasty questions.

[maxsolomon]

8. As a born Sociopath, his heart rate goes down when he fights with the Press.

The skirmish is the goal - content is irrelevant.

[ThoughtCriminal]

6. Tan suit.

This is still about the tan suit, isn't it?

[IronLionZion]

9. Build the wall since Obama only had a gate

viruses can slip through a gate easily