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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI am shaking from head to toe. I can barely type this.
I just hung up on my 96 year old mother.
I couldn't talk to her anymore.
I told her I loved her and hung up.
She thinks Trump is a good president.
I didn't know she liked and supported him.
When she said he was a good president I just couldn't take it.
I am still shaking and I am so upset.
She is brainwashed by other family members that I haven't talked to for years.
elleng
(130,895 posts)olegramps
(8,200 posts)It has been my experience that many people who strongly identify with either party become totally oblivious to gross improprieties by a member of their party. "Yeah, he is a bastard without any honor but he is our bastard." This has intensified in the years since Reagan revoked the Fairness Doctrine and has turned the nation into adopting a ridiculous tribal mentality. Anything, regardless of its value, even if it threatens their own well being, is rejected totally out of hand. I will admit that I lean strongly toward the Democratic Party, but I hope that I can avoid becoming so radicalized that I can't objectively judge a person and feel free to criticize them if they I feel they are wrong.
(I briefly registered as a Democrat to vote in primary for President Obama. He so impressed that here at long last was a man of integrity who had prevailed against bigotry and hatred and did not allow it to warp his character. He proved that I had placed my hopes in the right man. It is unfortunate that the Republicans were so filled with hatred that would rather destroy themselves rather than cooperate. They only reinforced my determination not to become blinded by party loyalty.)
Eliot Rosewater
(31,109 posts)He loved Reagan.
He would have hated Rump but maybe not if he was a republican president.
I am glad I dont have to find out.
Wait, no I am not, I wish he was alive...but you know what I mean.
LakeArenal
(28,817 posts)But he was a great dad. Adored my mom.
He is the only Repuke I compartmentalize.
Cuz I loved him more than I hate Republicans.
leftieNanner
(15,084 posts)My Dad was a WWII vet (South Pacific Navy) and an old time Republican. He liked Dubya for a little while, but I remember the day when I went to visit him and ol' George's picture was not on his desk any more. My Dad was a very decent, honest, and kind man. He would have been horrified by Trump. I'm glad he's not here to see it. But, like you, I miss him terribly. I wish he and Mom had been here to see their grand daughters graduate from high school and college, and for the older one to get her PhD from MIT.
Eliot Rosewater
(31,109 posts)Every mainstream GOP politician was horrified by him UNTIL he got a rabid group of assholes to support him.
I hope you are right.
leftieNanner
(15,084 posts)I even doubt if he could have gotten past the "Grab them by the..." recording.
I do know that he hated the Clintons, and he always voted, so I can never know what he would have done in 2016. Now though? I think he would have been thoroughly disgusted and voted for Joe.
frazzled
(18,402 posts)Because he had things to say in the past regarding George W. Bush. He said he had seen very many presidents across the years (he was born in 1916), and that Bush was the hands-down, no doubt about it, worst president of his lifetime. He had more to say on the subject, but I can't remember it all.
My dad passed away almost three and a half years ago, on the evening of his 100th birthday. He had flirted with Reagan back in the 80s, but returned to the fold after the first Bush administration. I am glad he didn't live to see Trump, but I know if he had, he would have amended his statement about Bush, placing him second worst to this supremely bad president.
safeinOhio
(32,674 posts)From SW Arkansas. Vet of 2 was as a Capt in the Army. Used his VA funds to get his PhD and was a professor emeritus and well known all over the country in his field. Use to say he has been a Dem his whole life and always voted for or against them. Cant think of any he didnt vote for. Hated Reagan. Loved Bill Clinton and was from his home town. He use to say only 2 men made it out of Hope Ark and both were named Clinton. His first name was Clinton. I know for a fact he is now rolling in his grave.
Damn, Im missing mom and dad right now.
cilla4progress
(24,728 posts)We are here for you!
captain queeg
(10,187 posts)Not sure how he came to that conclusion but at least I can chalk it up to being young and inexperienced. He told me the ideal unemployment rate is about 7%. Spoken like someone whose never had a job and to pay his own bills. An older person ought to have had enough life experience that they could see what a sham trump is. The bottom line for old people is racism.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Do kids not work while in high school or at least during the summer any more?
captain queeg
(10,187 posts)I started doing paper routes when I was early teens. Mowing lawns, whatever. At 16 working after school and summers at a meat market. My kid does some refereeing that pays or odd jobs but never anything regular. Seems to be pretty common nowadays.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)high school and through college.
hangaleft
(649 posts)whistler162
(11,155 posts)has had a lifeguard job for years.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Work habits have to be learned young imo.
StarlightGold
(365 posts)a couple of days ago with an elderly family member. I don't know about your mother, but my (Only technically) family member is also filled with hate and rage. My stomach was in knots for the rest of the afternoon after they cut the call short.
It'll be another 6 months before I try and reach out. If ever.
Just because someone shares the same DNA doesn't mean you are obliged to have them in your life if it's taking a toll on your mental health. Or emotional health. You are OK, you are NOT her. i'm giving you lots of virtual hugs.
KS Toronado
(17,220 posts)czarjak
(11,269 posts)hadEnuf
(2,189 posts)Fox management are pure propagandists and they know what they are doing.
You don't get people to believe that 1+1=3 without an effective formula.
jmg257
(11,996 posts)Nikki28
(557 posts)a similar experience with my sister and it is confusing me. She told me Bill Gates was planting mind control in people head. I asked if she watched Fox and she said she did her research.
Next she said Hillary did run a child sex ring. I told her that was not true.She says she has done her research.
Next I told her all the things Trump and the Republicans are doing and she says"The Democrats is as bad. They all are working for the government and criminals.
I could not believe what I was hearing. It was on the phone ,thank God!
But this is not my sister at all. I have no idea how you could be this brain washed. I am saddened and there is no getting through to her. She do not see anything Trump does as bad.
If I say what Trump is doing,;She goes into the but Obama, but Bill Gates,Hillary.
OMG She told me last night to be on the look out for Fauci too because he is part of the mind control in this end time.It breaks my heart and I had to go search myself to see if there was something to what she was saying. My sister is a person who is not good in research and she is also not computer literate ,which is why I know she is listening to something that is not normal. I fear I could never reach her.Trump is everywhere and effecting my family.I am worried and sick and shocked by my sister who has always been closer to me than any other family member.
Arazi
(6,829 posts)It's a cult and you need to treat her exactly as you would anyone whose gotten lost in that snare
Kaiserguy
(740 posts)is on Right-Wing site you would have no problem find all sorts of lies and misinformation they are full of it. The RW seem to like being kept in the dark and fed BS all day long. I wish I knew the answer to helping ypur family members who have lost the ability to reason.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)others are going through also.
But at least remember she thinks he's a GOOD president. She's not admiring what he really is. And as you say, brainwashed. She also does not see the world and the issues at all as they really are but is instead caught up in the mass sociopathy that's taken over the right.
They've suffered the trauma of believing we're destroying the nation for much longer than we know they are, and their version is that after barely surviving we're finally pulling back from the brink and headed the right direction. But still in grave danger.
96, Sam. She won't be around much longer. For her sake and yours, try to reestablish some happy common ground...?
Grasswire2
(13,569 posts)Remind her of a happy time you shared. And then let go. She's gone away.
Totally Tunsie
(10,885 posts)generation were brought up to respect authority. Remember those days? To many of them, the president - no matter who - represents authority and thus demands respect. It's another version of "My country, right or wrong."
Is this, perhaps, your mom's mindset?
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)He was also an authority figure too.
Totally Tunsie
(10,885 posts)That's why I asked the OP if that is his mother's mindset.
For all we know, Mom may well have liked/respected BHO also.
sheshe2
(83,751 posts)Sorry for your pain, Sam.
Thekaspervote
(32,762 posts)Liberty Belle
(9,535 posts)with dementia and easily influenced, not capable of analytical thought. I've seen a huge decline in relative with this, and i would just be grateful to still have a living grandmother. Both of mine died of Alzheimer's before that age.
LastLiberal in PalmSprings
(12,585 posts)Also, the sociopath-in-chief will have succeeded in continuing to divide the country. With my Trumper sister-in-law I just sit quietly while she rants. Without having someone to argue with she'll soon quiet down, and I'll change the subject to her garden, her grandkids, or something equally banal. That strategy has worked for more than 20 years. The first time I realized her political leanings, I told her, "I'm not going to discuss politics with you. Just don't interpret my silence as agreement."
alwaysinasnit
(5,066 posts)LizBeth
(9,952 posts)he started defending and attacking liberals. I was surprised and not. A couple weeks later he called back, the more mess Trump has made of this and was a bit conciliatory. It is a shock when we find this out about our parents, even if we suspect. I told my father, you raised me to be this, this is what you instilled in me. Quit watching Fox. I do not think it is so much Fox though than his buddies in a very red concentrated red area.
bluestarone
(16,926 posts)My thought is religion BRAINWASHED her. My siblings the same way. ALL of them! I DO NOT understand BUT i'm done trying too! They choose their way of life and I choose mine! END of story!!
malaise
(268,968 posts)Give her a break
marble falls
(57,080 posts)Just dont give her a ride to vote
mercuryblues
(14,531 posts)There are still a few months to the election. Let her know trump wants to dump Social Security and his abysmal Covid response. Even if she still wants to vote for the orange anus, take her. It is her choice. It's democracy for all.
marble falls
(57,080 posts)The perfect solution!
MiniMe
(21,714 posts)My mom died 7 years ago. I kept her phone number. I had been getting calls from the RNC that came through caller ID as SPAM RNC, thanks Verizon. I gave them hell, they were calling every day. They said they would put the number on the Do Not Call list, and I haven't heard back. but they must have added the number to the NRCC calling list. I've gotten calls every night since they took me off the RNC calling list. Tonight, I finally answered the phone and they asked for my mom and immediately switched me over to a robocall. I gave them hell, told them they were 7 years too late, and even if she was alive, she wouldn't vote for tRump because she thought he was a fool, she wasn't even a republican. Once again, I got we'll put you on the Do Not Call list. I wonder what Right Wing Organization will call tomorrow. They are getting very desperate. If mom was still alive, she would have been 90.
pazzyanne
(6,551 posts)The minute the lady identified herself as the representative for the RNC, I lost it and shared my take on donating to the RNC and then told her to "go to hell" and offered to send her a map if she needed one. I can't be civil any more. Most of my family members are Republicans, but we don't discuss politics to save family ties. My sister, who threw me out of her family shortly after 2016, now makes nice which I am glad about. However, the relationship will never be the same. She is an intelligent woman who lost her way which makes me sad.
MiniMe
(21,714 posts)I think that just shows how desperate they are. They must think " she's old, and may want a change. She wouldn't have wanted a change that could kill her and many other people. Ugh.
indigoth
(137 posts)She actually told me, once, that torture was ok
Never mind that study after study after study after study shows that it doesnt work
Never mind that its a crime against humanity
Never mind its against the Geneva convention, of which, the US is a signatory.
Yeah, I tore her a new One for that. We dont talk anymore. And Im ok with that.
Curiously, Im not one to hold a grudge. I do have my limits, tho.
irisblue
(32,971 posts)My mom voted in the '16 primary for Ben Carson, I strongly suspect, well you know
She still speaks glowingly of FDR, Truman, JFK & LBJ.
My mom is 85, I'm letting any of that go, I love my Mom more then I loathe them.
Learning to let that float away is hard, but, do it.
Skittles
(153,160 posts)call her back when you are ready; DON'T LET Trump impact your time with your mum
KentuckyWoman
(6,679 posts)aeromanKC
(3,322 posts)Shame on your other family members.
Marrah_Goodman
(1,586 posts)She could be gone tomorrow. Don't let this be the last thing you remember.
Liberal In Red State
(442 posts)had pictures in her home like he was a family member. She recently passed. So that is no longer a part of our lives. My husband was very conflicted by everything - he stopped trying to reason with her years ago. He just did for her what any good son would do and ignored the rest. It did cause a rift between them, but that was her doing as he would not engage in a debate with her about any of her religious or political issues. I felt sorry for her because her strident attitudes and opinions forced her to miss out on having a strong relationship with her son and only grandchild. I know I am partial but they are both awesome people. Her loss.
Ohioboy
(3,240 posts)My mother will be 90 in the fall, and she has been brainwashed too. It's FOX that has done it to her. She watches FOX every morning and throughout the day. It's what her television defaults to as soon as she turns it on.
She used to have a mind of her own and was very much a free thinker. Now she believes conspiracy theories and is actually starting to show signs of racism. She has become prone to generalizing, and believes that Mexicans want to traffic women and Democrats want to destroy the country. It is truly sad what they have done to her.
Hekate
(90,674 posts)... Speak loving words.
Practice this in front of a mirror until you can say it easily: "There's no need to discuss that now. How's your cat/dog/favorite grandkid?"
I am absolutely serious. This is your mother you are talking about, and she is not in a position to do any harm to others at her age.
Sometimes our family members can disappoint us in ways we never expected. That's where the Serenity Prayer comes in, and just recognize what you can and cannot change.
Peace.
Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)wnylib
(21,447 posts)few remaining years or months in peace. Politucal discussions or arguments within a family are not good in these polarized times.
She might not be fully informed about the extent of Tweety's corruption, or might believe the crap coming out of RW media. If she has always been a Republican, she will be inclined to trust and believe what they say.
Is it going to change the world to be at odds with a very senior woman? Improve her or your life in any way?
It's didisappointng upsetting to hear support for the WH criminal from your own mother, but I'd just let it be. Change the topic with her because you will not be able to change her at this point in her life.
ooky
(8,922 posts)My advice is just don't discuss politics with your mother.
keithbvadu2
(36,788 posts)My gf is brainwashed by Fox.
Convinced that China paid billion$ in tariffs.
speaknow
(321 posts)Sorry your Mom feel's that way.
There is two types of good, NO GOOD
and GOOD for NOTHING. Which one
did she mean?
SCantiGOP
(13,869 posts)If I could have a 96 year old Mother (mine died at 86 a few years ago) I wouldnt care if she wore a Nazi uniform and hated kittens.
My older brother is a Rush/trump supporter, and we argue about it, cuss each other out and call each other ignorant assholes - but we would both take a bullet for each other.
Get a grip, people.
Take her on a Mother/child day trip on Election Day. Problem solved, and you get to spend a day together.
I just dont get it. My dad passed away in March. He was a union guy who was always a supporter of the Democratic Party until the last 2 years.
Never once did I think Ill teach him a lesson by cutting him out until he starts parroting my political views!. There more to life than politics.
Raine
(30,540 posts)AllaN01Bear
(18,191 posts)felt that the german concentraiton camps didnt happen. he was dem and left when ronald ray gunn left and ruined ca. he went to bishop with second wife . retired . wanted to get away from california as far as he could . listened to fox noize and the other ultra conservative talking heads . we didnt talk much about politics .
lillypaddle
(9,580 posts)We no longer speak. It makes me so sad that she has chosen trump over me. She has supported him from day one, but it has become so outrageous ... She called me a POS, and I called her a fucking moron for supporting him. Neither one of us is long for this earth.
Wonder how many families trump has torn asunder. Pitiful.
I'm sorry, SamKnause. I know it hurts.
TuxedoKat
(3,818 posts)Am dealing with the same thing with my 85 year old mom and younger brother who lives with her. They watch Fox News and listen to right wing wackos. Just last week my mom sent me a letter saying she was sorry we had political differences and asked me to watch certain hosts on Fox, Bret Baker for one and Stuart Varney, not so familiar with those two. Oh she also wanted me to watch Mark Levin - yuck, cant stand that POS. I just try not to talk politics with them anymore but sometimes when they praise Trump or trash Democrats I cant stay silent.
lillypaddle
(9,580 posts)pink
(497 posts)both my parents were Labor supporters in Australia, which is good. They have since passed away. However, 2 of my sisters during the last election campaign last May were posting racist and anti Labor messages on facebook. I was mortified. I answered one of their posts by saying that "mum and dad would be turning in their graves right now if they saw what you were writing". Then it was on. I was unfriended and the relationship with my sisters really cooled. It is starting to get a little better, but now I just scroll past any posts of theirs that I dont agree with.
As many other people have suggested to you...dont let Trump ruin your relationship with your mother. She probably wont vote in November and the angst would not have been worth it.
EllieBC
(3,014 posts)Shes 95 and shes always favoured Conservative party up here and has mentioned she likes Trump.
It rarely comes up. And thats fine with me. Shes important to my children who are her great grandkids, and my husband who she all but raised.
A long time ago I made a decision to not let politics divide me from people that are a deep part of my life.
secondwind
(16,903 posts)Fox News, and that is the real problem!!!
Different Drummer
(7,614 posts)I know all too well what you're going through.
Chemisse
(30,811 posts)Treasure the time you have with her and stay away from politics.
Raine
(30,540 posts)I only wish my parents were still here no matter what they had to say 💔. What a shame you don't realize how lucky you are to still have your mother!
PTWB
(4,131 posts)Karadeniz
(22,513 posts)(he said no one else would) and his cancelling Matson line voyages to and from Hawaii after allowing us to be on the last cruise...except for those things, he was a man of integrity. One morning at a very nice hotel in Madrid, my mother threw the door open and yelled for us to get up, pack our things, we were leaving. Turns out the nice man who'd taken us to dinner the night before had spoken to the hotel to arrange paying our bill. To dad that was too close to buying influence...dad was the highest ranking army officer in Istanbul, in charge of shipping there. Visiting Iskenderun, he warned us not to cosy up to the commander there...he was under suspicion of telling secrets to his mistress who was controlled by Russia. Dad was personally honest, reinforced by knowing what could happen if one strayed.
Mom and dad had begun voting Republican because back then Texas was a one party state, Democrat, and they hoped to turn Texas into a two party state. He'd never put up with the corruption by Trump and the GOP, never. Having flipped once, he'd flip again from an anti constitution, anti humanitarian party.
mommymarine2003
(261 posts)He was a career Marine officer, served in 3 wars WWII, Korea, and Vietnam), and was in Intelligence. He was a Democrat until he felt betrayed by Lyndon Johnson and McNamara. He raised me to look at others as equals and to treat others with decency and respect. He retired in the Spokane, WA area where he was born. The older he got, the more he became bitter and was always watching Fox, especially Bill O'Reilly. My father had a group of retirees he hung out with for lunch at the local Fred Meyer. One of them was a retired Marine (although he had gone through the ranks as an enlisted man). I think hanging around these people caused him to really change from the intelligent, open-minded person that he had been to a cranky, mean man, although I am sure that aging had a lot to do with it, too. One day when I was visiting my father, I went to lunch with him with his group of friends. The ex-enlisted Marine started talking about President Obama and then called him the n-word. I was so shocked that I couldn't speak, and then I told that man how dare he speak about our president that way and how disgusting that was. Thankfully, my father did not take his friend's side, but it really hurt to see what my father was becoming or that he even hung around these people. It is probably a good thing that he is gone, because I don't know if I could have handled him being a Trump supporter. I know that he would not have supported him in his early days.
warmfeet
(3,321 posts)but it is to be expected. Older people tend to be more conservative than younger people. This is not due to their age, but rather due to when they formed significant memories. The world was, in totality, more conservative in the past, but..........
Good news! The world, in totality, is becoming more liberal each and every day. The change seems slow, but it is much faster than you ever might imagine.
The assholes of today will be gone tomorrow. Fight like hell, every day, to speed up the process and to mitigate the potential damage in the meantime.
Everyone vote for Joe, November 3rd. That alone will help very much.
jaxexpat
(6,820 posts)I too came from a broken home. My dad was a Roosevelt Democrat and my mom was a Lincoln republican. Mom lied more than dad.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)tiredtoo
(2,949 posts)You are not responsible for your mother's thoughts. At 96 she should be able to do or feel whatever she wants. She is one vote let her have her comfort. Just show her the love you have for her. My son and I are in total disagreement politically. We both decided our family love was more important than politics. So we do not talk politics. I am not 96 but am nearing the end. I do want to go out as a contented man. So just shake it off and love mom while you still can.
MiniMe
(21,714 posts)After I finally answered a call from the RNC and basically told them to go to hell I don't like spam calls, they kindly I think took me off the calling list. Haven't gotten a call back from the RNC, but the NRCC started calling. At least Verizon was putting SPAM on the RNC call, but they haven't gotten around to doing that for the NRCC. I finally answered the call and they asked for my mom and immediately switched to a robocall. I started cussing them out, told them that my mom had died 7 years ago and even if she was alive she would tell them to go to hell and that first of all, mom would never have voted for tRump, she thought he was a fool, and she wasn't a Republican. They too said they would put me on the Do Not call list. I wonder what other republican scam group will try calling me tomorrow. Grrrr.
JudyM
(29,236 posts)She might just be misguided about the facts, rather than having a profound shift in her values. If she seems entrenched it might do more harm than good to do anything beyond dancing around the edges a bit, only as much as you can stay coolheaded with. The faster you can start shifting from passionate opposition to even grudging acceptance, the better youll both feel. And the more connected shell feel to you. You dont want to let that grotesque perversion of a human come between you and your mom.
My dad was conservative and we didnt speak for the first summer after i woke up politically. I was talking some smack about Reagan and he saw the depth and passion and knew it was values-based. It really bothered him. We were close, and tried to talk politics in later years but I could see this very bright, otherwise unusually well-informed guy had been seduced by the slimy cynicism of Limbaugh. Different reality entirely.
She should be proud of the kind heartedness and character that lies at the core of your beliefs, and she probably is, at some level, you just need to relate in other ways. Share cat videos
sorry it hurts.
roamer65
(36,745 posts)We just dont talk about it.
I give him credit for telling the NRA to finally shove it.
I would say you should do same. Just dont talk about it.
RhodeIslandOne
(5,042 posts)Even at 86 my liberal parents are just not as sharp as the once were.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)I hope you reach out to her or you will be forever sorry.
Aviation91
(114 posts)Most older white people were born during a time of slavery. Many whites back then were racist. After the Civil Rights Act was passed, their prejudices were hidden until Obama. The country was divided because instead of calling out racism, many people in prominent positions openly displayed acts of racism. When Donald Trump came along he has stoked those old racism flames with lies and basically made it okay to say that minorities should be put in their place.
Thats whats going on with a lot of older white people. Donald Trump has promised to Make America Great Again...dog whistle for an all white America. Many older whites are deathly afraid of becoming the minority in this country!
So, lets just be honest about why many whites are for Donald Trump because instead of uniting this country, he intentionally supports racism because he is racist (and has been all of his life).
If you dont believe me, then just ask anyone that says he is a great president...why they support him when he doesnt give a dam about any of his supporters that arent rich!
CousinIT
(9,241 posts)...has caused her - a lifelong Democrat who voted for Obama and every other Dem President, to think Trump is: "doing OK, I don't hear any complaints"
My two older siblings are staunch Republicans - living on massive socialism - with their "I got mine fuck you" attitudes - she lives with one of them and between the two (they live in the same neighborhood) have her blinkered - not hard with her age and dementia.
I used to talk politics with her but I can't anymore. She's too out of it and brainwashed (mostly out of it) - she's not on the internet, is blind and doesn't hear great either. Often forgets things and confused.
I try not to hold it against her - because she's been a staunch Dem all her life. I just think she doesn't have the mental capacity to parse it all anymore - and has my RWNJ relatives around her spouting Trump-humper bullshit.
So...I just deal w/ it.
SamKnause
(13,101 posts)My mother does not have dementia.
She has a better memory than I do.
She is fit and healthy.
She has excellent eyesight and has all of her teeth.
She still drives.
She lives alone and cooks, cleans, and does her laundry.
She helps out at her church and is very active.
I was just in shock when she told me she supports Trump and thinks he is doing a good job.
This was information she had never mentioned to me before.
I know my sister, her husband, my niece, and her husband all support Trump.
I don't associate with them.
I think they have a lot of influence on my mother and her Christian religion as well.
She knows I am a political junkie but she doesn't believe anything I tell her.
She thinks Trump is doing a good job with the Covid-19 virus.
When she said that I just couldn't take it.
I was shaking for over an hour.
It was shock to my senses.
I will still talk to her but if she mentions Trump I will tell her I don't want to hear it.
If she asks my opinion on anything I will no longer give it.
Thanks again for your input.
DFW
(54,370 posts)I had not a one, not even a grandparent, in my immediate family.
I have one first cousin who I heard was a strong Cheney-Bush supporter. He is (or was) in the Memphis area, and on his third (or fourth? I lost count) wife. I last saw him in 1994 at our grandfather's 100th birthday party. His sister is fine, but he was always a strange duck. I wouldn't recognize him if he walked in the room this instant.
Other than that, parents, grandparents, and the only great-grandparent I ever had any meaningful contact with were all solid Democrats, as are all siblings, first cousins, nephews, nieces, and whatevers. My family was politically involved from generations back. One of my grandmothers worked for Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia as his labor liason until he fired her for being friendlier to labor than to him. She then started fundraising for the Senate race of the mayor of Minneapolis (guy named Humphrey). Her husband had a signed photo of Franklin D. Roosevelt saying "to (my grandfather) from his friend, Franklin Roosevelt." That photo now hangs in my house. Though born in South Carolina, that grandfather went on to become a deputy mayor of NYC (under a Democrat, of course--LaGuardia was a Republican).
Of my multi-cultural "next generation," my younger daughter was called "the best intern we ever had" when she worked for Emily's List in Washington DC during college, used to hang with the junior Senator from Illinois (guy named Obama). My brother's younger son worked with Matt and Dolly Angle's Lone Star Project, a Texas Democratic initiative that had DC representation. Both my nephews have the strong oriental features of my brother's Japanese wife. The younger one was fairly small for his age until he turned 20 or so.
Because of his smallish stature and reserved nature, two staffers of (then-) Senator Biden figured he was young immigrant from somewhere in Asia instead of a politically dialed-in 18 year old from Langley, Virginia. Wrongly assuming he understood no English, they were excitedly jabbering away about Obama's decision to pick Biden for his VP. This was at about 6:30 AM, and the public announcement wasn't to be made until something like 4PM that afternoon. He called me that morning, and I posted it on DU that morning. Since I couldn't satisfy the usual angry demands for "LINK?!?!?!?" I got roundly trashed with about fifty "how do YOU know?" posts on my thread. I couldn't very well post something that might have gotten Biden's staffers fired for their carelessness if someone were to read DU that day, so I shut up for years about how I knew.
We rarely had family disputes to begin with, but, needless to say, NEVER over politics.
SamKnause
(13,101 posts)DFW
(54,370 posts)Your "mom, how COULD you?" versus her "is there a problem?"
I wouldn't know where to start sorting THAT out.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,868 posts)I think over time these can alter their personalities abd damage their ability to reason.
My aunt lived to be 101. She was always too outspoken and difficult but she got mean a out her last three years and she hadn't been a mean person .
Amothrt friend's husband was always a nice man until he had a stroke. His whole personality changed.
I think I think I would just blow it off if you can. Just ho ahuh. Ahuh. Ahuh. She's probably not hoing to change.
MyMission
(1,850 posts)I regard many as poor misguided (brainwashed) souls, and then there are the haters. Especially with older folks, they tend to be misguided. We need to be tolerant and patient with the elderly, although their age does not entitle them to be mean or belligerent. And it's distressing and disappointing when we see those we love making bad choices, and being influenced by others.
My father was a republican and a harsh man. He spoke to me about choosing the lesser of two evils when voting for a candidate, when I was a child and doing a school report on elections. That stuck with me.
I once decided I would not go to visit my father, who retired and moved away from where I was raised. Then I realized that I would feel guilty if he died and I had been standing on ceremony.
I suggest you take time to let your feelings settle, then reach out, remember and reminisce about the mom who raised you, the good times, or times gone by. Safe subjects.
I just told a friend who's considering voting for 45 to vote for Biden, or stay home and stay safe! And to stop watching so much right wing media.
He's a poor misguided soul too. But a friend, not an elderly parent. And I was horrified to hear his political opinions.
On the other hand, I was perpetually horrified by my father's political views most of my life. I understand, it's not something we can ever get used to, but we can avoid the topic. And walk away or hang up if the conversation gets political and hostile.
treestar
(82,383 posts)and CNN/MSNBC viewer. 80 something Dad has Trumpy friends and sometimes expresses the idea that poor Trumpy can do nothing right. I just say, well, yeah, he has no experience, is a grifter and therefore as President, pretty much always gets it wrong.
Several of his friends who are otherwise smart have drunk the kool-aid.
RainCaster
(10,870 posts)They didn't know or care about abortion.
They grew up in the first depression and bought in to that doctrine of "fiscal responsibility".
That is what they lived by their whole lives.
Their choice in party alignment was confirmed by the impeachment of Bill Clinton.
They raised me to be a Christian who thinks for himself. That's where they went wrong. If still alive today, they would be appalled with the corruption in the GOP. They would probably flip blue, just because of the blatant corruption of DFT, Moscow Mitch and all the rest of the fools in the Religious Right.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(24,122 posts)Bluethroughu
(5,165 posts)Feeling that even your own mother could be one of the kool-aid people. I know because mine is one of them. I'm not fighting with my mom but we don't speak very much, since the election of this orange fool.
I find I can't have much conversation about other things because in a round about way it leads back to real life and the real problems everyone is facing. She doesn't care because she is living in the here and now and she's fine. I find she is a narcissistic psychopath, and if she's good, she'd wear the malaria coat.
If you want to continue to talk with her, I would advise keep it to cooking or decor....everything else leads to the rumphole.
pandr32
(11,581 posts)I have discovered some family members to be similarly brainwashed. It creates a chasm that is almost impossible to bridge. To have it be your mother or father is heartbreaking.