Life is just beating the crap out of me right now.
I’m just going to complain. Feel free to add in.
At 65 and after a pretty successful life as a therapist and writer I retired and decided to finally get that MFA in writing. I did it because I so love the particular company of writers, who think like I do and who believe stories are the most important thing next to actual people there is. Now our residencies are all online and writing is hard with hell raining all around.
We’ve been pretty much at home since the first of March, being Ground Zero for this goddam plague. We barely see our kids in person.
My son and d-I-l had an adoption set in September, had to go through hell in prep for crossing the country and being allowed into a hospital in PA because fucking COVID.The birth parents decided after the baby came to keep her. I wish them all well but it was so sad.
My husband just had a cardiac ablation and because of the fucking pandemic I couldn’t be with him in hospital. He’s home and fine, though. Not our first rodeo. But nobody could be here for us because fucking COVID!
My stepmother in MS is dying and we can neither go to say goodbye nor attend a memorial because GOD DAMN YOU COVID!
We’ve now gone from being trapped in the house to trapped i. The bedroom with an air filter because of the incredible smoke that’s blanketed Washington.
And today my severely autistic nephew, who lives in the group home his widowed father set up for him, is back home being cared for by that same 67 year old widowed father because he has that GODDAM MOTHERFUCKING COVID!!!
If that monster in the People’s White House stays there any longer you can expect me to go running naked though the streets. I could take the rest, really I could, but all this with nothing but contempt and neglect from those who are supposed to help us get through these things is getting close to unbearable.
Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk. 🤬
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a Granddaughter on the way...my first...I hope I live to see her born. I feel like screaming most of the time...
I guess one foot in from of the other...hour by hour sometimes minute by minute is all we can do...Prayers for your family and for us all.
Sending you extra hugs.
It has been a God awful 4 years I never wanted to live through at my age.
A piece of good news for you. Michael Bloomberg is going to spend $100 million dollars in Florida to elect Biden! I do not think Trump even has that much money!
Take care.
There will be if we vote Biden! 
I feel better already. 
Or 3 AM bathroom.
You just joined the club!
I am so sorry for all you are going through... I hate that so many can't be with loved ones because of COVID...
I will be running with you if the unthinkable happens
And I curse every blue trump sign I pass on the road as I drive
So many of us made miserable by this effing incompetent traitor how can Anyone think four more years of his shit is a good idea?
I’m sorry your family has been hit so hard, nolanear .... here’s a hug...
written word I hope writing provides some solace. 2020 has been so tragic and such a WASTE of time (which we cannot afford) and every other aspect of life. I haven't seen my family since last Christmas day. I'm single and live alone and all I do is work 10 hours a day. DU needs you but maybe I need to take a long break. Best of luck.
To use this as your sounding board. You've got to vent and were all safe for you to vent to. As they say, one day at a time. A long distance hug to you!
How about both? AKA?!
Just announced he is going to flood your state with $100 million to elect Biden!
It just seems to pile on...I get daily phone calls from my dad and mother in Florida. Dad is usually crying or upset as he has a host of problems and I can't go see him, mom is usually upset because she is his caregiver and I have to console her because she is taking on the brunt of all the crap.
Sounds like it just got piled thick on you, but know that someday it will even out. Have hope. Obama taught me that, hope. When all is wrong with the world, you have to hang on to hope as if it was the last lifeline to sanity, because it is, we will survive if we maintain hope for the future.
Hope, no matter what.
My mantra during tough times: This too shall pass
Take care.
Yell and write all the Teds you want. Sending hugs and much sympathy here from COVID Florida.
I gotta warn y'all naked gangstas, though. Watch out for antifa shooters. They will take y'all out if the impeached motherfucker wins again.
I wouldn't let 'em have the satisfaction, but if you want to take that chance...
It’s all a shit show right now...and I swear, the fires just put it all over the top. When you can’t even open a window or take a walk because the air is unhealthy. It’s so depressing. It’s supposed to be 90 degrees here today but it’s not even 65 out because of the smoke cover. The sky is a sick shade of yellow. Breathe...but not too deeply or you’ll cough!
I’ll come to your Ted Talks any time.
And a bunch of virtual hugs!
We’ve had an enormous amount of rain here in Wisconsin, can’t tell you the # of times I thought “enough! Go out West rain!”....
I’ll run naked with you!
Biden's people need ads with the pain caused by the murderous Con - the entire rhythm of life has been turned upside-down
Deep breaths and baby steps...sometimes that's all you can do until the demons get past you. I hope your life regains some stability soon.
In the meantime, I send you a warm hug and a sincere wish for better days for you and your family.
All of us who have a functioning intelligence are living in this nightmare with you, regardless of our personal situation.
Recently some psychologist said we all are living with PTSD. No, afraid not. Post trauma is the aftermath, when you can't just remember the trauma, you relive it. It stays as vivid and terrifying as the actual experience. We are living the trauma. We're trapped in the trench or foxhole or bunker waiting for the next attack and there are causalities all around us.
Dr Fauci recently said that we may be back to normal by next summer. Again, afraid not. We'll probably have a trustworthy vaccine by then and, please Goddess, a decent, intelligent, compassionate human being as a POTUS. However, I don't think anyone who make it through to the other side will ever feel completely normal again. We can only stay strong and take care of one another.
I like your idea of running through the streets naked. Could relieve some tension.
Virtual and stay safe.
I've just sent you a message.
Yeah, I’ll say it—are the luckiest people in the world! This is why I never understood that lone individualism that negates all the things we do for one another.
Thank you, DU. You are family.
What a run of rotten luck. I'm very sorry and hope it all turns around for you soon. Be strong. P.S., you write beautifully; small wonder.
been locked out for all of this accursed year. it's killing me.
i loved that work. that dog brought so much joy. he did the hard work- he opened the doors. then i just listened like they taught me.
we usually started talking about him. he is a victorian bulldogge. he weighs 90lb. he doesnt eat much, but he doesnt work much off, either. he is 8 yrs old. and his eye is fine, just a slightly botched plastic surgery.
every day on the ward from someone.
but they taught us that the most important thing is to hold space. this is more than just listening. its actively, respectfully clearing space for whatever comes.
and what comes, ho boy.
i have had quite a life, and i heard only a few stories i had never heard before.
the thing that hurts the most is no hugs. hugs are my super power.
it never did cease to amaze me how many total strangers wanted hugs.
if you were a mom on my ward, i didnt ask if you wanted a hug. you got told you were getting one. i have a very sick youngest kid, and i walked the halls and sat in the waiting room of the children's hospital.
i never heard the words i dreaded. but dread them every minute i did. ppl think they know what that would be like. but they dont.
so. mom's only choice was a gentle hug or a bear hug. bear hugs were favored 2-1.
i rly miss my nurses, too. we were always there for them as much as for the patients. more so, rly. usually patients were non-responsive or actively dying.
i cant even visit them unless i sneak in. and flash my expired id.
so, that leaves me to freelance. so, here ya go nola-
Peace be with you!
Whatever it was, it was glorious!
Sadly my hallucinogen days are behind me. 
It's amazing that you can still function at all - I'd be curled up in the fetal position by now. I'm almost there as it is, and I don't have 1/10 of the shit you're having to deal with.
Cheers, friend. Things have to improve, don't they? 
I try to insult Donnie frequently...
and that's an unusual feeling for me.
If you ask me what it is, it's EVERYTHING!!
Hang in there!
IF there had been an adult in the White House, the results of a pandemic wouldn't have been this awful since we would have had real leadership and a federal plan.
I'm so sorry, Nolabear. Try to hang in there.
Not the pandemic. That’s awful but it’s blameless nature. It’s that mister and his terrible hoard that stuns and beats you down.
But we are STRONGER TOGETHER. I still believe that.
of this stupid Covid. I had planned to move but I'm still sitting here
We will all get through this.
As of Monday, September 14th, husband and I have been self-sequestered for 190 days. We are VERY housebound.
I've gotten more deeply into gardening, so that helps. And a lot of online and Zoom stuff with my local Indivisible group.
I want to go work on the hillside tomorrow but husband doesn't approve, what with all the smoke here, too (Oregon).
Just trying to keep busy. Lots of writing, and, gotta say, nolabear, THIS PLACE RIGHT HERE, especially, is keeping me sane.
Have you considered a Zoom meeting with your writer friends? That's the only way I go to meetings anymore. The fires preempted our Call to Action email work this weekend as people need to focus on packing and being on standby to evacuate. Otherwise that's how we meet to plot out the next week's "asks". And it means you need not feel so isolated. Writing might really help. You could keep a log. You could go nerd and start keeping track of various kinds of minutae. Or, maybe there's an Indivisible group near you that you can join. If so I know they could use your help! I swear, if it weren't for our various Indivisible activities that are still going on, I wouldn't be able to keep track of days of the week. And it can really help make you feel productive.
MORE virtual hugs!
HUGE hugs to you, because that is A LOT and I'm so sorry for everything you and your family are going through this year.
We'll fight like hell and we'll get that shitstain wiped off the carpet in the People's House, so at least some healing and rebuilding can begin.
I would bet my bottom dollar that there are millions out there with similar stories, and I hope and pray we can ALL get some mental and spiritual relief when Biden becomes POTUS!
Hang in there, I know we will all pull through... but DAMN, it’s getting harder to cope.
That MFA sounds like a great idea! Taking some good action will make you feel better, at least it works that way for me.
And it’s good you’ve got your people with you!
DU is helping us all somewhat sane in the face of insanity.
I’ve got my Goods and Bads here too. One big good is, I’m in western NY State. And I’m used to being alone. Luckily I have a couple friends I keep in contact with. Also, a good therapist, my pupperz, and my banjo, which I am learning. Old time Appalachian style.
Having a creative interest or two is a really Good thing.
DU love to you, nola (I always think you’re in New Orleans too) 💙
Uncertainty is the worst thing. If we felt safer it wouldn’t be good but it would be better.
Hang in there.