I was beginning to doubt my worth today...

[CTyankee]

Seeing these posts from DUers who are feeling so bad now about the way things are going politically I started feeling helpless myself. "What am I doing about this?" I was asking myself. And the answer always came back "You can't do anything."

My book project was looking dim and I thought "Why am I doing this? Who gives a shit?"

I truly had to give myself a pep talk. And then I got back to work. It is the ONLY thing -- apart from my relationship with my husband -- that will make me feel better (but he is depressed too!).

What I try to do is think about what other people did during their darkest hour. The thought of people in London during the blitz is somehow a comfort to me. It makes me think "well, if they could do it, maybe..."

This is just my way of dealing with this very human feeling of depression (and for good cause) that have been so distressing to so many of us here. It shows that by nature we Democrats are basically optimistic about liberal democracy to solve the problems that we have. But some of us can't be right now and I am impressed with how so many DUers rush to comfort them.

At least we have each other.

[panader0]

1. Well, I think you're the cat's meow---

and that's the immutable truth!

[CTyankee]

2. Oh, thanks! You're the best, Panader0!

It's bit premature but I can send you a copy of "The gladdened heart" when it is finally done. It's a distraction from this crap but sometimes I just get down about it. My husband has been in silent despair so much I fear for him.

It's so hard for so many people in my family who can't go to work and can't work too much at home due to the nature of their jobs. And there doesn't seem to be an END.

Thanks for your kind words, my friend...

[7wo7rees]

3. Thank you. You are the best. N/T

[ihas2stinkyfeet]

4. i have been seeing those posts too. i have to ask

why are posters here doing putin's work for him?

i got called out on one thread for being a noob. but i have been reading here for many years.
i, for one, strongly encourage you to finish that book.

[CTyankee]

5. I will and I have decided to get more people into the project. They have something of real

worth to contribute: my son in law who is a musician in Los Angeles, my daughter in law who is a copywriter for a corporation and a musician/vocalist in NYC, my other son in law who is a political consultant for Dems in Boston.

I find that people like to be asked to contribute their piece. Everybody feels better, altho there are some people who feel more strongly than others and that provokes conflict. But it's OK.

If nothing more, it gives folks something to think about that is NOT Trump. Just for a little while...

[ihas2stinkyfeet]

6. if you need

a book designer, lemme know.

[CTyankee]

7. I might, if my daughter can't come through for me but I think she can.

Thank you. I'll let you know! I promise.

[Atticus]

8. I also have bouts of depression and try my best not to saddle my wife with it. We do talk about

the stress and sadness that Trump has brought to us though and, just a couple days ago, we found a way to maybe put things in perspective.

We are a white couple. We may feel hopeless and helpless on most days lately, but we can look back to when that started and, hopefully, believe that we will see its end. Black people have had to deal with much more stress and abuse during their entire lives---with no end in sight for most of that time. And, yet, they have retained the ability to hope and to love and to laugh. Can we not also feel the pain, cry the tears and then persist? Can we not also endure and, eventually, prevail?

I believe that "we---all of us---together---shall overcome"

[CTyankee]

9. Oh, yes, and I am writing about that. More to follow on this...

[Thekaspervote]

10. Kudos to you for pulling yourself up by the boot straps!

When we were left with dotard in 16, I too spent many hours reading and watching docs about WWII, England and their dark times. I learned so much and still remind myself things could be worse.

The great minds of the times, Churchill, FDR, Eisenhower and all the stories of the ordinary solider turned hero were what pulled me along.Their stories are powerful!

[Upthevibe]

11. CTyankee...

Last edited Tue Sep 22, 2020, 10:12 PM - Edit history (1)

Thank you for your post. I've been feeling especially down today too.

On Sunday, a fellow DU'er (sorry I don't remember who) posted some profound dialogue from one of the Lord of the Rings movies. I went to YouTube and pulled up the scene. I'd never seen the movies or read the books but I was so touched by this scene:

[Eko]

12. You wake up, put one foot in front of the other and keep doing that.

Take some time to reward yourself also, watch a funny movie, dance to some music, go look at the stars. Do things you dont usually do.

[Lonestarblue]

13. It's hard not to be depressed when we see what Trump and Republicans have done.

But they have not yet destroyed the country, and we WILL take it back. A couplenofmyears ago, I read Rev. William Barber’s book The Third Reconstruction about his moral movement. His parents were active in the Civil Rights Movement, and I was struck by the resilience they and so many others like them showed in the face of disappointment after disappointment. But they fought on.

The other person who always inspired me but whose death has awakened new determination is John Lewis. I doubt that I have the personal capability to do the things he did, but I can do whatever I can to help inform people and get them to vote.

Please know that you are not alone in your frustration. Many of us feel that we can’t do a lot because of the virus, but we can and will vote, and our votes will count and our votes will see Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in the White House.

[CTyankee]

20. Thank you. I will get that book from Amazon. I like Barber.

I had an eye opener when i was writing my book and had listed the Harlem Renaissance as a topic I would cover. I suddenly realized I knew NOTHING about it. I ordered several books about its history. It was a LONG read. I am still reading. I will probably not outlive reading about this era, it is so rich and vibrant. It inspired me to keep on going.

BUT, I still had this moment of despair and I now realize that is part of the journey of awakening. I am not religious, but I was inspired.

[Lonestarblue]

27. I'm now re-reading Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coats.

I read it when it was first published a few years ago. After the horror of George Floyd’s death and so many others murdered by police this year, I decided to read it again. It has had an entirely different impact, and has truly been part of what you describe as a journey of awakening. The book is written to Coats’ 15-year-old son to help him understand how his father’s life experiences have been so different as a black kid in a tough Baltimore neighborhood than that of the son of a successful black writer. The painful awakening for me has been his daily fear, and how he described the fear of someone hurting or killing him throughout his childhood, not necessarily from police then but from the tough kids in the neighborhood—fear he had to hide and pretend he did not have. Most white children never know that kind of fear, nor should any child. I wonder if this is what black people mean when they say that white people just don’t “get it” because most of us have never lived that experience.

Good luck with your book and your reading. As you say, reading about the Harlem Renaissance is fascinating. The writers and poets of that era produced some really fine works.

[Hekate]

14. I hope things are looking up tomorrow for you and yours...

This too shall pass....

And I am SO looking forward to your book!

[CTyankee]

21. You'll get one but it's a ways from production. I still have plans for my subjects for study.

As with the last book, I want to make it readable and to inspire people who don't like art to ake another look. Mostly, I tell the story behind the painting.

[Tribalceltic]

15. keep a close eye on your Vitamin D intake

I am hearing a lot of reports of people with low Vitamin D lately

[niyad]

16. I hope you realize how much joy, and wisdom, and so many other positive things you bring to

your DU family? How much we value you? Please, be of glad heart, even in these dark hours, and know that you are loved and cherished.

[CTyankee]

22. Thank you, niyad. I SO appreciate it!

[Gilbert Moore]

17. Oh my !

I just read and listened to one of the most inspirational stories just a few seconds ago. . . Then I came to DU and saw your post. Do visit [link:https://www.haydenhurstfoundation.com/what-we-do|. Pro football player who totally bombed out as a baseball pitcher.

From the thrill of being drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates to quitting and going back to school. . . and trying his hand at football. Success and he gives back with a foundation for mental health awareness for kids.

PLEASE review !

[Illumination]

18. Honestly, I know we're all going through a lot but I don't get depressedl. Want to know my

secret? I eat a small square of dark chocolate along with all 3 meals. Dark chocolate is beneficial if it's app. 70% or more cocoa. You also need not worry about putting on extra pounds. Try it & see if it helps with you & your husband's depression. To me it's worth every penny...

[CTyankee]

23. I'll do it! Sounds like a wonderful therapy!

[Illumination]

25. Awesome Clyankee! Once upon a time I was very depressed & this is my cure!...

Do hope this helps...

[UpInArms]

19. ...

[malaise]

24. My mom was a student in England during WWII

She survived - so can I

[CTyankee]

26. I can't imagine the absolute terror they felt when they were under attack.

So glad she survived and you are here with us today!

[malaise]

28. She always told us the story of going to the movies one night

with some of her fellow students. When the notice came up that there was bombing they thought about staying to watch the end of the movie when she heard her maternal grandma telling her to get out of there. They all left. Weeks later she received a letter from her mother letting her know that nana died the same afternoon they were at the movies.
You could not tell her that nana hadn't saved their lives.

[AmBlue]

29. I was right there with you until....

...these three powerful posts I saw, one after the other, the other day from some of our wonderful DU friends. Taken together, i think they are the perfect road map for these times. They snapped me right out of my funk:

From H2O Man:
Hopi Message
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214106784

From bucolic_frolic:
Steve Schmidt's Tweet Thread A call to Duty https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214106061

As I read the two posts above, I knew instantly that finding joy while we weather this storm is the most important thing. This will feed our spirits and give us the strength to not only carry on, but to do our true patriotic duty as Steve Schmidt's amazing words express so profoundly.

Then, like a dazzling beam of sunshine shooting down between the dark clouds, I saw this:

From SheltieLover:
SCIENTISTS REVEAL A FASCINATING LINK BETWEEN THE IMMUNE SYSTEM AND ANXIETY
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214112475

This last thread has a link to a free course from Yale University. It has gone viral and is the MOST popular course ever taught at Yale! It teaches you in a science-based program not only how to identify what truly makes you happy, but also how to bring more happiness into your life. Here you go:

"Those who have tried it have said they felt much better after watching the 1st video, which is available immediately upon course registration."

Tha Science of Well-Being
https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=01-BrandedSearch-US&utm_content=01-BrandedSearch-US&campaignid=380484307&adgroupid=102187343498&device=m&keyword=&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=433079694377&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnqH7BRDdARIsACTSAdv9DKBzr7dOWo_NtruDlg10qqsfWOZAXGrM069ZKfznxB_Y58LDKKAaAjmAEALw_wcB

I am so grateful for our many friends here. It's why I've been visiting here for 20 years now. I hope this helps you.

I love DU!