I am having a tough time since my sister's passsing. Has anyone talked to a counselor?

[demtenjeep]

should I search for one?

My employment gets me 6 free sessions.


What do you do?

should I do it?

[marlakay]

1. Hospice in area I lived in 20 years ago

Had counseling for free for family members who died. I had a real hard time after my dad died. He was my best friend, my person. They had group counseling and it helped me a lot to see how others were handling it.

[NurseJackie]

39. Same here. Free. Supported by community donations but absolutely free.

It helps very much. They offered group sessions or one-on-one... for as long as you felt you needed it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. If I were in your place, my dear demtenjeep, I would definitely do it.

I've been through therapy a number of times, and it has always helped.

They are trained to know just what to say in these sad situations, so YES, go for it!

[onecaliberal]

3. Yes, do it. You can say things your never be able to say to anyone else.

It helps to talk about what you’re feeling.

[MissB]

4. Definitely start with your EAP

(Employer Assistance Program) and take those 6 sessions. It may help to just talk to someone that knows what to say.

And go from there. They can likely link you up with someone else after those sessions are done.

Reach out to them

[Niagara]

5. If you're having a difficult time.

I would say yes. Ask around for recommendations that accepts your insurance. It might take more than 6 sessions and talking about your grief certainly helps. It might have to be in a zoom or regular phone call due to Covid., but you will still receive the professionalism that you need.

[littlemissmartypants]

6. Definitely do it, demtenjeep.

Stay strong.

Know that you're loved.

❤

[Maraya1969]

7. I vote for Hospice too. They were wonderful when my mom was sick and

since her passing I have thought about going to grief meetings when things feel really hard.

It really helps to be around people who are experiencing the same thing.

[TheBlackAdder]

8. Definitely. Use your EAP counselor then to a Psychologist. They have the experience and tools.

.

If you need further support, besides what is offered from your EAP counselor, ask for referrals to a psychologist.

.

[58Sunliner]

9. I would. If nothing else you can get a sense of any issues that may have come up.

My sister had an accident and died unexpectedly. It was difficult, and I felt like I was in shock. It amazes me how much was left unsaid before she passed. I'm five years out now and I can still feel that void. Time and acceptance has helped the most.

[2naSalit]

10. I think you should...

Especially if you have insurance to cover at least some. I have been going to a therapist for about three years and it is very helpful. I have been through a lot of trauma and am facing the passing of my mother soon.

If you have lost a dear one and are having trouble with it, having someone you can be open with is very helpful.

Take care of yourself, seek the help you need. This world gets harder to navigate everyday, a big whack upside the head like losing a dear one can take some assistance getting your bearings again.

[electric_blue68]

40. A thought on your future situation...

Hi. I unexpectedly started up a self talk "mantra" about my own mom's (then) future passing as to lessen my future grieving.

My mom (12 years gone in '08) got very sick with asthma when I was about 5 1/2+. She got better in two major stages - but our family all still were like walking on eggshells whenever any of us got a cold, sinus infection that possibly vcould get her Ill enough for an ER visit.

When she was around 80 I started to wonder if I might end up briefly in a hospital with a grief induced depression after she passed. At some point the phrase "she wouldn't want me to be too sad for too long" popped into my mind. I started to say it to myself off and on during the next 6 years she was still alive.

It worked. While it still hurt like hell after she passed when it unexpectedly happened over a week's time; I never became so unfunctionable from the grief that I needed to be in a hospital. Sharing this that it might be of help to you in the future.

[2naSalit]

41. I thank you for sharing your story...

The passing of a parent is usually hard for most. I am in a good place about it, my mom no longer has any quality to her life and is only miserable and only lucid on occasion. My siblings and I have been in close contact as to her care and eventual passing, we're actually hoping she'll give up and let go since there is nothing we can do to help her other than see that she has the medical care that is necessary for her to exist now.

We all get counseling and are okay with the inevitable. I got over all the bad stuff but my siblings are dealing with it differently because they are younger and have lived near her all their lives where I have not. My mom and I were never close but am okay with that too, can;t change the past. I am just glad that my siblings have been there for her when she was starting to lose her health and have cared for her since. We just want the suffering to end now.

[SheltieLover]

11. Any hospice will provide 13 months of bereavement counseling

They are uniquely trained and quaified to support you in resolving your grief through that most difficult "year of firsts." (Birthdays, holidays, etc.)

Hospice organizations are everywhere & likely offering virtual sessions.

Grieving is hard work, physically as well as emotionally & psychologically.

Please consider arranging for therapy through a hospice.

[KentuckyWoman]

24. Some of them aren't what you expect.

We had hospice when my husband was in the last few months. The counseling was group sessions that offered little personal guidance. It was not my thing and on the 2nd visit I let them know I would not be back.

On the flip side a friend had phenomenal counseling through hospice. One on one. It made all the difference for her.

[SheltieLover]

31. Best for her to try it for herself, imo.

She might have more than one to choose from.

Sorry to hear yours wasn't in a format that was beneficial for you. For most people, group therapy is incredibly and powerfully cathartic.

[KentuckyWoman]

32. Oh I agree

Everyone needs what they need, and if one doesn't work try try again. Don't give up...

[SheltieLover]

37. Absolutely!

[moonscape]

12. If it wasn't for covid, I'd suggest a grief

support group. But, there must be many that are virtual and Hospice is a perfect resource to connect with one.

I have many friends who have benefited and they have specialized ones, i.e. loss of a family member, spouse, child, etc so you’re with a group that can specifically relate.

[Lochloosa]

13. Yes. Easy answer.

Good luck

[electric_blue68]

14. Everyone here has made good suggestions...

I've been through grief counseling, too. It definitely helped. Hope you will get the support you need.


gentle virtual hug

[blogslut]

15. If you feel you need it then get it

[lapfog_1]

16. Please do call on a counselor

phone call or video chat.

It will help just to talk to someone.

[herding cats]

17. I sought counseling.

I lost a person I loved this year as well. All the layers piled on top of their passing left me in need of some outside help. I'm dealing much better at this point (some months later) after having made the decision to seek counseling.

It's still a journey, but it helps sort out your path.

I wish you peace. I understand and sympathize with your pain and loss.

[nolabear]

18. I used to be one. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Get a referral for someone who deals with grief and loss. Hospital social workers can sometimes help with referrals, as can hospices, as many have mentioned. It really can help.

[wnylib]

28. I'd second the advice to ask for

someone who deals specifically with grief and loss. It takes time to work through grief and helps greatly to have help in doing it. It might take more than 6 sessions, so, if you have insurance or can go to Hospice without a charge, you might want to consider whether to start right off with one of those choices instead of having to switch after 6 sessions.

The loss doesn't go completely away, but the ability to cope and move on does get better with time and being able to share and discuss it.

[woodsprite]

19. When my dad passed away,

We found out that our funeral home offered group counseling sessions.

[csziggy]

20. Yes, my husband's job paid for a grief counselor for me

After my father's death. It helped a lot. Even a few sessions were well worth it.

I'd recommend it if you have that option and feel you need it.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

21. Yes

for two reasons. One it's good to have an ear that doesn't judge so you can verbalize what you feel and two, if your employer provides the benefit you should use it. If it goes too long and is not used, they could take it away and the next person would not be afforded the same opportunity.
I am sorry you are experiencing this.
Take Care,
John

[cwydro]

22. Hospice will provide grief counseling for the family.

There’s no charge for it.

[Withywindle]

23. Yes and yes

Absolutely you should try it. They are trained professionals and it's their job to help you work through what you need to work through. They have a lot of insight, and you can be utterly honest with them - it's their job. Try to find one who specializes in grief counseling.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to find some comfort.

[hibbing]

25. Please do it

I just got done with a 7 week sessions with a group via zoom facilitated by a staff member of the hospice that cared for my mother. It definitely was worth it.


Peace

[MustLoveBeagles]

26. If you feel you need to then please do it

Many of us will need outside help at least once in our lives. I sought counseling years ago when I was a teenager. You obviously can't see a councilor or a support group in person but I'm sure virtual or zoom sessions are offered. You said your workplace offers the free sessions. Do they have a counseling hotline posted at your your workplace? If they do call it. If not not look for a counselor or support group in area online or ask for a referral from a friend or relative. Good luck.

[fierywoman]

27. Half my life ago, when I decided I needed (psycho-)therapy, I wrote to

all my friends, lovers and acquaintances, to ask their suggestions. The best advice I got was: choose someone you could tell anything to, I mean ANYTHING ...

I did. So I pass this advice on to you. It worked for me.

[Raine]

29. When my mother died I joined a group called "motherless daughters"

it brought up lots of feelings I hadn't known were there (some good, some bad). It was kind of painful at the time but in the end it was a good thing.

[WhiteTara]

30. When my mother died, I was grief stricken

and I spent time with a grief counselor and it was what I needed. I encourage you to speak with one. Hospice can steer you to one.

[StarlightGold]

33. Yes I think having

someone objective to vent to can be a great help.
You may not need more than a few sessions anyway. Sometimes with a major, negative life change, you might find a “tune up” very helpful to set things on track.
I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time now. I hope you can find some solace in chatting with fellow DU travelers.

[TexasBushwhacker]

34. Take the 6 sessions and find a grief support group

Hospices often have them and have a list of others.

[Metatron]

35. My boyfriend is a widower and highly recomends grief counseling.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Leghorn21]

36. I'm sure your beloved sister would want you to reach out and get relief from the trauma of losing

her, d - I found after losing my dear ones that I needed someone to listen to me recount again and again what I had been through, until its hold on me diminished somewhat...generally speaking, our friends, even close ones, cannot give us the focused attention we need as we re-live our nightmare, whereas this is EXACTLY what counselors (especially grief counselors) do, and they’re honored to do it.

Deep breaths, big sighs, best wishes to you, demtenjeep

[electric_blue68]

38. So aptly put, Leghorn 21, imho (have grieved, too)

I found after losing my dear ones that I needed someone to listen to me recount again and again what I had been through, until its hold on me diminished somewhat.

.