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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsUnchained Fauci Recites Entire Periodic Table of Elements at White House Briefing
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)A newly unchained Dr. Anthony Fauci stunned the White House press corps on Friday when he recited the entire periodic table of elements at a coronavirus briefing.
Without warning, the esteemed virologist named all of the hundred and eighteen chemical elements on the table, starting with hydrogen and ending with oganesson, along with their abbreviations and atomic numbers.
That felt amazing! Fauci exclaimed, visibly throbbing with excitement. Now lets do it backward!
According to White House sources, Faucis realization that he can now speak freely about science has resulted in several such outbursts since the Inauguration, including during a vaccination-strategy meeting, when he began explaining the theory of relativity.
He went to the whiteboard and started scrawling these insanely long equations, a White House staffer said. It was like he was possessed.
Another staffer agreed. Its great having Tony fully engaged, but hes got to dial it back a little, the staffer said. Right now, its kind of like having Bill Nye the Science Guy in the room.
For his part, Fauci acknowledged that he has not yet fully adjusted to his recent liberation. Dont worryafter a day or two Ill calm down, he said. Hey, do you want to hear the first hundred digits of pi?
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/unchained-fauci-recites-entire-periodic-table-of-elements-at-white-house-briefing
malaise
(269,012 posts)Hotler
(11,424 posts)Go Anthony.
dalton99a
(81,512 posts)RVN VET71
(2,690 posts)Isnt that what the insurgents smeared on the walls of the Capitol Building?
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)BComplex
(8,053 posts)He's a friggin' genius, and he's had his brain in a vice for the past 4 years.
Ohio Joe
(21,756 posts)jmowreader
(50,557 posts)...is Anthony Fauci could probably do it.
maxsolomon
(33,345 posts)I got sent to see the Principal quite a lot that year, for repeatedly arguing that it was absurd, and fomenting insurrections.
Also wouldn't allow us to use calculators (which were fairly new & expensive at the time - 1979).
TexasBushwhacker
(20,191 posts)The Period Table is a thing of beauty and a wonderful tool, but I wouldn't think of making my students memorize it. What I got them to do so was learn how to use it,, as a tool. We played Periodic Table Bingo. They had to know where the metals and non-metals were, where the radioactive elements were, noble gases, etc.
maxsolomon
(33,345 posts)Still hot about it, and it was 40 years ago.
panader0
(25,816 posts)DUgosh
(3,056 posts)Anytime
Gothmog
(145,280 posts)DemoTex
(25,397 posts)Very rare element.
crickets
(25,980 posts)I enjoyed the heck out the laugh this gave me. 🤗
RussellCattle
(1,535 posts)Great comment. Thanks.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,014 posts)JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,343 posts)Leith
(7,809 posts)Now for Tom Lehrer's version:
Fozzledick
(3,860 posts)Tommymac
(7,263 posts)DeminPennswoods
(15,286 posts)The Big Bang Theory episode where Sheldon does this.
SWBTATTReg
(22,129 posts)Harker
(14,019 posts)KY_EnviroGuy
(14,491 posts)Now, to get Bidenated and Harrisized, then the day will be perfect!
I enjoy Boro in a liberal funny paper I get each month called Funny Times. They usually have a full page of Borowitz in each issue along with dozens of great cartoons. Best bathroom reading and pandemic relief on the planet.
See: https://funnytimes.com/
KY.......... ........
BarbD
(1,193 posts)Truth has triumphed at last.
Wounded Bear
(58,660 posts)demmiblue
(36,855 posts)Hekate
(90,704 posts)catbyte
(34,393 posts)been lifted from his shoulders. And it has.