ARE YOU A NEVER-TRUMPER?
As the second Trump impeachment trial starts the week of Feb. 8, Americans must grapple with a central, soul-searching question:
"Am I a 'never-Trumper'?"
This question must urgently be answered by citizens ranging from Congress members to unhatched boobies -- and some who occupy both roles -- if we're to render an authorized verdict on the following question:
"Is it tolerable to overthrow the U.S. Constitution by violence for the benefit of Mr. Check-kiter-in-Chief?"
All prior comments on this politician's acts and omissions have been subject to one acid test:
"Did you swear eternal obedience to God's elect representative on America, Donald Trump, the last time you dropped acid?"
Anyone who answers "No" is a "never-Trumper."
The mere mention of this indictment stops all discourse. It renders any fact raised by the depraved holder of the title automatically invalid, and corroboration pointless.
Lest you disgrace yourself by voicing an opinion which reveals you as a latent "never-Trumper," take the following quiz. It will reliably determine whether your degenerate tendencies require you to seek absolution by donating to a Trump slush fund.
For each point which describes you, count one toward your total score. An assessment follows the quiz.
(1) You let the facts get in the way of a good story.
(An affirmative answer here also disqualifies from employment with Fox.)
(2) To you, Benedict Arnold was NOT merely a shrewd businessman.
(3) You don't think any Government facility should be named for John Wilkes Booth.
(4) You think it unmanly to terrorize children, degrade women or blame all your failings on others'.
(5) You doubt the Founding Fathers endorsed assassination as a means to change administrations or prevent peaceful change.
(6) You work daily at being honest while loving your neighbor, and admit you often fail.
(7) You believe blue lives matter even when they're protecting the Constitution from a Trump mob.
(8) When you watch a movie set in World War II, you find yourself rooting for the Americans.
(9) You recognized "Springtime for Hitler" was satire, not a manifesto.
(10) You refuse to degrade yourself for a psychopathic liar and fraud unless you're paid in advance, in cash.
Your Score: 8 - 10: You should pack a bag and prepare to emigrate if Trump's acquitted.
5 - 8: You're not a real Trumplandian, but can improve your status with sufficient payments.
1- 4: You're a real Trumplandian, and already contribute regularly to Trump.
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