Democrats Agree to Return to Texas if Greg Abbott Leaves
AUSTIN, Texas (The Borowitz Report)—Runaway Democratic legislators from Texas offered today to return to the state on the condition that Governor Greg Abbott leave it forever.
The Democrats, speaking from an undisclosed location, issued an official statement detailing the terms of the legislators-for-governor trade.
“At noon on Friday, we will arrive at the state capitol in Austin in an unmarked bus,” the statement read. “Once we disembark, Governor Abbott will board the bus, which will then relocate him to a mutually-agreed-upon destination.”
According to the statement, the Democrats have been reaching out to a number of potential countries who might be amenable to giving Abbott asylum.
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https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/democrats-agree-to-return-to-texas-if-greg-abbott-leaves
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... Afghanistan needs new politicians, now. Abbott might be successful there... they welcome voting restrictions.
