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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMan Calling Libraries And Masturbating To A Supreme Court Opinion
Link to tweet
https://abovethelaw.com/2021/07/man-calling-libraries-and-masturbating-to-a-supreme-court-opinion/
You saw that headline and thought: This cant possibly be real. Alas, it is very much a real thing thats really happening in America in 2021. The asteroid cannot come swiftly enough.
For weeks, an unknown man has called libraries around the country asking for a specific Supreme Court opinion to be read to him. As the librarians comply, it becomes clear that hes pleasuring himself to the words of the Court.
Oh yeah, give it to me. Give me that exculpatory evidence. Spank those prosecutors!
But heres the thing its always Brady v. Maryland. There are actual Supreme Court opinions with pornography discussed in the facts! If this guy was asking about Lochner, we could at least narrow it down to the Federalist Society. Instead, weve got a guy a crim pro fetishist who gets off on defendants getting off? I guess there is some logic there.
*snip*
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Man Calling Libraries And Masturbating To A Supreme Court Opinion (Original Post)
Nevilledog
Jul 2021
OP
Is there an earthly reason this has to be published? I would bet it's a made up story.
Srkdqltr
Jul 2021
#2
They should get Gilbert Gottfried to record it, so any library can use his voice to the guy
muriel_volestrangler
Jul 2021
#11
FalloutShelter
(11,879 posts)1. That's it. G-night folks!
Srkdqltr
(6,326 posts)2. Is there an earthly reason this has to be published? I would bet it's a made up story.
Someone who wants to use sexual innuendo in a tweet. Stupid.
Nevilledog
(51,201 posts)3. It's a humorous article.
What did you think it was going to be about after reading the title?
Cobalt Violet
(9,905 posts)4. surprised the Brady vs Maryland wiki page isn't updated yet.
Yes, I did check.
Nevilledog
(51,201 posts)5. Ha!
634-5789
(4,175 posts)6. Bring my car around, I'm done.
Ms. Toad
(34,101 posts)7. Does library girl ring a bell for any former MIRT members?
Not identical - but the coopting of libraries for personal pleasure/trolling seems oddly familiar.
multigraincracker
(32,727 posts)8. What age and critical stage of development
tickle this pathology?
sorry, psych major.
mahatmakanejeeves
(57,621 posts)9. Above the Law is getting to be mighty freaky these days.
Nevilledog
(51,201 posts)10. Let me fix that headline: Judge sexually assaults staff member
muriel_volestrangler
(101,368 posts)11. They should get Gilbert Gottfried to record it, so any library can use his voice to the guy