Matt Damon, 'months ago'

[bigtree]

Mrs. Betty Bowers @BettyBowers
I’ve lost some respect for Matt Damon for two reasons:

1. Being a 51-year-old Harvard-educated person who only realized using homophobic slurs was a bad thing *months* ago; and

2. Being foolish enough to think that was a cute story he should share with the world.

Link to tweet

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/matt-damon-daughter-homophobic-slur_n_6106d90ce4b0f9b5a234983f

[Skittles]

1. I am in agreement with Ms. Bowers

that is a pretty fucked up story - and he's giving it up only because his daughter requested he stop using it

[Bucky]

2. When people fuck up and want to apologize, I say let 'em

I'm not better than anyone else. If Matt Damon wants to apologize, fine. Let him atone for it somehow.

Getting all judgy doesn't fix the problem. Here's a guy who supports progressive causes. Is it self indulgent for him to own up to this in a news release? Yes, sure. He's an actor. He's in the PR business.

But this also puts an important message out: calling people homophobic slurs is not okay. I think we should focus on that, rather than being resentful that a millionaire being self-centered.

[canetoad]

6. Yup

Cast first stone and all that.

[sheshe2]

10. +++++++++

[Cha]

20. I lost respect for Damon a long

time ago.. he was always dragging on President Obama ..

Matt Damon Slams Obama, Democrats: ‘One Term President With Some Balls Would Have Been Better’

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/matt-damon-slams-obama-democrats-one-term-balls_n_1162511

Gaslit Asshat

Ooops.. Changed his mind..

Actor Matt Damon repudiates criticisms, embraces Obama

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2015/10/08/damo-o08.html

Well that's good to know.. and I never would have known if I hadn't search for the 2011 attacks.

[joshcryer]

28. It's OK to change your mind.

It's not OK to show a history of lack of foresight and damaging behavior. All those liberal celebrities who shit on Obama during their years had no idea what they were talking about. It makes it easy to ignore their opinions when you think about it that way.

[secondwind]

15. Agree 100%

[Happy Hoosier]

30. 100%

I've done some fairly egregious stuff. When I was growing up, the "N word" got thrown around fairly casually. That now horrifies me, but I won't pretend I didn't do it. But I learned better, so I did better,.

[dsc]

41. Honest question

replace the f word with a racial slur (say the n word, or the s word for Latinx) would your reaction be the same?

[Bucky]

52. The redemption arc would be a lot longer, a lot more complicated

That's a decent question and troubling. I think the atonement would have to be to the part of the country that he harms with his words, not to me. I'm not personally the aggreived party.

I think it also matters who the offender is. Matt Damon, tho of course being an elite millionaire, has also done his due diligence for a big number of progressive causes and candidates. We know which side he lands on when it comes to building an inclusive society.

It's different than if Clint Eastwood or Kelsey Grammer got caught in this or some other ugliness, or some apolitical studio exec. This is, after all, a question of words, not deeds, in the controversy. Words are important, but they are not policy.

[Bucky]

3. When people fuck up and want to apologize, I say let 'em

I'm not better than anyone else. If Matt Damon wants to apologize, fine. Let him atone for it somehow.

Getting all judgy doesn't fix the problem. Here's a guy who supports progressive causes. Is it self indulgent for him to own up to this in a news release? Yes, sure. He's an actor. He's in the PR business.

But this also puts an important message out: calling people homophobic slurs is not okay. I think we should focus on that, rather than being resentful that a millionaire being self-centered.

[Solly Mack]

4. He should have left that at the family dinner table.

I'm all for personal growth but telling the world it took you decades to realize a slur is a slur isn't the least bit inspirational.

It's disappointing.

[cilla4progress]

5. A respected friend of mine today used the word retard pejoratively,

About her dog.

Disappointing!

[canetoad]

8. One would hope

This was a joke. Yes - in poor taste, but a joke nonetheless.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

24. Using a hateful slur as a joke doesn't make it any less hateful or painful.

[alphafemale]

18. Well did you say something?

If you are only complaining here she did not learn that is not OK.

[cilla4progress]

36. I was shocked, so did not this time.

Sometimes I need to think about my response rather than reacting in the moment, maybe react with actions, not words.

It was a phone call.

My reaction includes changing my opinion of her.

[alphafemale]

49. My BF at the time and I had friend over for dinner, and the friend used that term

BF said to him "You're in trouble."

I actually used the reasonable tone of voice an explanation of why he should remove that from his vocabulary as an insult.

[Cosmocat]

26. Look

I have a child with disabilities, and I still have to hold back from my impulse to use the word retard.

I am the same age as Damon, and when we grew up, gay, faggot, retard were very common terms used generally and without the negative implications that they have now.

Heck, it was common and accepted to use heb, raghead, spick, wap.

The 70s/early 80s were a time when there was a slightly uncomfortable coming together of people who were different, which included laughing at these types of things.

That kind of stuff gets a bit hard wired and while you can change with the times you tend ot default to that which you did a lot when you were younger.

EVERYONE has their faults, their foibles, the things they say or do that are not ideal at times.

Side note - Our family dog is incredible, a complete joy and my daytime companion while working at home, and I am the primary person who walks and takes care of her.

She also is an idiot at times, and I have called her such and worse.

[CrackityJones75]

32. An honest post right here.

I would love to applaud all the people here who have never uttered a single inappropriate thing in their life. But I actually applaud the people that are honest about themselves their past and their faults.

[dsc]

42. when was this mythical time that the word faggot didn't have negative implications?

I was alive and growing up in the time frame you mention, and I was called a faggot more than a time or two, bluntly speaking, it was never without negative implication.

[AdamGG]

7. He's acknowledging that the word is inappropriate

I'm in my 50s and grew up in Boston (the suburbs). I haven't used the word as an adult and maybe Damon should have realized not to too before now, but I remember people saying it (along with retarded) constantly when i was a kid. I never saw the words used to refer to people who were actually gay or intellectually challenged. Many 50'ish Boston figures, like Bill Burr, still use the term.

If the take away is that Damon is publicly saying that the word shouldn't be used, why attack him because he honestly admits that it took him a long time to realize that? I hate the right, but some times the political correctness brigades help fuel them.

[canetoad]

9. +1

Good post.

[rockfordfile]

22. I agree

[WhiskeyGrinder]

25. "I never saw the words used to refer to people who were actually gay or intellectually challenged."

What on earth does this have to do with anything.

[AdamGG]

48. It was a common generic playground insult among children

When you're 9 years old, you're barely aware of where the words come from and what their actual meaning is. When one kid called another kid a faggot in elementary school, the connection with homosexuality was barely understood, if at all, by the kids using it. Comedians from Boston like Louis CK (Newton) & Bill Burr (Canton) have done multiple routines about it.

[Happy Hoosier]

31. Some people love wrapping themselves in self-righteousness.

I've seen it here. And then they'll do something like fat-shame TFG and get all huffy when you call them on it.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

11. I have twenty years on him, never went to Harvard,

and I have NEVER used that word.

What am I missing here?

[Grokenstein]

12. The sense of entitlement and/or thirst for attention.

[secondwind]

17. Different time.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

35. Different time?

I knew by the time I was an adult that the f word for a homosexual was offensive. When did that stop being common knowledge? Again, I'm 20 years older .

[UTUSN]

13. Some months ago the image of him started changing for me

[dchill]

14. Self-deleting my post before I even type it!

[Celerity]

19. lol

[greyl]

16. We can use the word "asshole" in perpetuity, correct? nt

[Loryn]

38. I used it yesterday.

At church. Well, I think I said holy asshole, but still.

[hlthe2b]

21. Sometimes one should learn from mistakes and move on--not report them to the world...

That said, at least he claims to have (finally) learned better.

[elias7]

23. Some of the responses to him remind me of the opening line of The Great Gatsby

'In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had. '

This has as broad a meaning as you want. As a nearly 60 year old, I regularly seek out my out of town daughter to explain things to me that have rendered many of my childhood experiences and understandings not only obsolete, but inappropriate. Just yesterday she explained to me why use of the pronoun they for a gender fluid person is followed by the plural “are” rather than “is”. I am Yale educated but that doesn’t mean I have all the advantages that many socially progressive people here on DU have had. It has taken me a long time to understand a lot of the changes that have happened over my lifetime, to unlearn those things I thought I knew well or thought was OK.

Give the guy a break. He’s on the right track and shouldn’t be ridiculed or being somewhat late to the party.

[dsc]

43. I am Mr. Damon's age

and yes, faggot was known to be an offensive term for gay people when I was a kid. You can't have grown up in the English speaking world and not know that.

[Cosmocat]

27. This is petty, and the long knives continue to come closer and closer to our own

I am the same age as MD, have a child with disabilities, and I still have to hold back from my impulse to use the word retard because we when we grew up, gay, faggot, retard were very common terms used generally and without the negative implications that they have now.

Heck, it was common and accepted to use heb, raghead, spick, wap ...

The 70s/early 80s were a time when there was a slightly uncomfortable coming together of people who were different, which included laughing at these types of things.

That kind of stuff gets a bit hard wired and while you can change with the times as you age you tend at times to default to that which you did a lot when you were younger.

You can still be a "good" person and fall victim to an aging brain that defaults to what it was set on in your younger years.

EVERYONE has their faults, their foibles, the things they say or do that are not ideal at times.

[bigtree]

29. I've worked for decades with different people who don't seem to understand the impact of their words

...or didn't care.

I would say almost universally, the problem for these individuals went deeper than just the misunderstanding or misuse of a word.

I found a profound disregard from them for the consequences of their chatter which required me to correct and chastise (not really for my benefit, but for anyone else who had to endure their slurs) constantly like a parent, even after an apology from them.

I'd likewise assume, from my life experiences, that one slur isn't the full extent of Mr. Damon's insensitivity.

[Cosmocat]

33. One slur is not the full extend of ANYONE'S insensitivities and MD is a one of the good guys

https://hollowverse.com/matt-damon/

[bigtree]

39. right, not the full extent

...just a disturbing aspect in which I've never found comfort in just one expression of contrition.

People who do good things can be just as ignorant and hurtful with their words as others. I believe its a mindset that either compels you to either say hurtful things in public without regard to others, or to be polite or respectful of others. My own experience as an adult is that these things aren't so complicated when you take others around you into consideration.

Mindfulness works both ways. I don't believe Matt Damon didn't know the term was hurtful. I think its an uncaring state of mind that erases concerns about these things, rationalizes them away. I don't think caring people express themselves this way in public, in the way Matt Damon apparently expressed himself. That's been my experience.

I once saw a prominent actor in a campaign loudly evicerate an elderly, iconic activist in public in support of meaningful causes she was supposedly promoting or advocating. I couldn't see past the abuse she was leveling at the woman. That's still my only concern, not what the fool was advocating.

[obamanut2012]

40. I am also Matt Damon's age

And, I have never used any slur in my life, except for "retarded" when I was in grammar school in the 70s. My mom spent two minutes telling why it was wrong and I was ashamed of myself, and never said or thought it again.

And no, it wasn't common for any of what you posted to be used. And, I didn't have a sheltered childhood or young adulthood.

50 is not "aging brain." Good lord.

[Cosmocat]

46. Ok. Revel in your moral superiority

But those of us who didnt grow up in your idealistic upbringing did in fact say these things routinely, with no animous.

And, for all your mental acuity you miss the point.

WE ALL have those things we say and do that others may want to think are insensitive, even your lordship.

[Calista241]

34. When i was in college in the 90's, this was THE word we all used for nearly everything.

Almost to the exclusion of all other curse words. Things have changed since the 90's, and it's not a word I've used in the last decade or so.

[BannonsLiver]

47. That's how it was as well growing up in my corner of suburbia

Someone messed up your bike they were called that. It became sort of a catch all.

I Actually got swats in school for calling a kid that name who had just pushed a girl down on the playground who had CP. He got suspended. I got a paddling.

I’m still surprised he was using it into adulthood though.

[Marius25]

37. What I don't get about this is when Damon was

younger, he played in an episode of Will and Grace as a gay choir singer that Jack was competing with.

He's literally played a gay guy. Bizarre that he wouldn't have any understanding of homophobic slurs this far into his career.

[Johnny2X2X]

44. Better late than never

So now we're attacking people for being late to the party? There are better ways to spend our time, Matt Damon is not the enemy.

The F word was accepted to use when I was a kid and into the 90s here in MI, and it wasn't even necessarily used as a homophobic slur. I don't recall using it, but I may have, but learned how harmful it was when out with some gay friends and having people call us F***. And Gay was used as a term to describe something that is lame, or not fun, it wasn't until a gay friend explained to another friend that him using the word to describe something he didn't think was "cool" was offensive and it would be the same as if he used his name (Brad) when something sucked. "Dude, that party was awful it was so Brad." or "My professor made me rewrite my term paper, that was so Brad."

Should Matt Damon have known this stuff long ago? Yes. But I'm going to encourage him on trying to do better and improve as we all should try to improve.

And there are parts of the country that have been slower to recognize these words as slurs, Boston is probably one of those places. SO yeah, Damon should have known long ago, but he recognized that and is doing better, that doesn't make him an enemy.

[RANDYWILDMAN]

45. He protected Harvey Weinstein for 20 years

and he knows better

SAD

[BlueStater]

50. I used it maybe once or twice as a teenager.

I haven’t used it AT ALL since I became an adult. It should have taken Mr. Damon long before he was 50 to realize the word is a slur.

[Tink41]

51. Gossip Site

Claiming Mr Damon is getting out in front of something. I KNOW Gossip Site! Wait and see.... Not a fan of his or Ben for that matter. It's an odd thing to bring up out of the blue, what's the context? I'm not seeing it.

[Behind the Aegis]

53. Interesting to see the "free pass" of sorts he is getting.

Just goes to show how ingrained homophobia, but especially, in this case, heterosexism, really is in this culture. I think some are missing that his "come to Jesus" moment wasn't several years ago, it was a few months ago. It isn't about 'perfection', but to claim he was unaware that "faggot" was a slur or could be hurtful, in 2021, is just absurd!