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Top 10 Idiots

(597 posts)
Thu Aug 5, 2021, 05:00 PM Aug 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11-4: What To Expect When You're Expecting An Insurrection Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11-4: What To Expect When You’re Expecting An Insurrection Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yooooooo! What the fuck is up, San Diego? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Yeah risking your life against the Delta Variant for our bullshit nonsense? Well at least we only let vaccinated people in our show. Yeah the unvaccinated can stay outside and fling their feces against the walls. So do we have time for the thing? Did anyone see the Lollapalooza stream on Saturday? Oh come on don’t boo. You’re here, right? So no complaining! I mean between this and Kanye holing himself up at Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta, so there’s that. But I do want to bring up Limp Bizkit. Yeah I know, the late 90s / early 2000s was a weird time for music. But that said there was something surreal about watching Limp Bizkit’s performance at Lollapalooza this weekend that was both equal parts comforting and frightening. I will admit I did love Limp Bizkit back in the day but I have moved on to much better music since then. I did actually them in the before times when they played a KROQ show that I went to. And it was fun. That sure did look like a good time in spite of all the bad news coming around. But we can all agree that Fred Durst did look like FATWA Larry David, am I right? OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he discusses another victim of the pandemic – emergency medical services. Really people, thank your local EMT:



Where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is the Capitol Riots. We covered this a bit last week but now that the first round of hearings is over, we accomplished… Absolutely nothing. But there were plenty of plot twists and special guest stars along the way! Taking the second slot this week is also the Capitol Rioters (2). Are they really political prisoners like Martin Luther King Jr or Nelson Mandela? No! They’re crooks who got caught and can’t do the time! Taking the third slot this week is our old buddy Tucker Carlson (3). He along with some of the scarier parts of the right wing blogosphere are out to vilify possible gold medal winner Simone Biles, and I honestly can’t quite put my finger on the reason why. Nope, I really can’t! taking the fourth slot this week is Hobby Lobby (4). Remember their insane quest to build a billion dollar Bible Museum in Washington, DC with stolen artifacts? Well some of them got seized by the feds! Woo! Taking the 5th slot this week is the California Recall election (5) and folks I wish I had better news to report but this ain't looking too good for Newsom. Get out the vote now! Turns out… not very far and they got slapped with felony trespassing charges! In the 6th slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, conservatives are upping anti-vaccine hysteria. Why is that? We have some theories and new information. In the number 7 slot this week we have a new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and we are welcoming the return of live music with open arms, but that hasn’t stopped people from saying stupid things and that includes rapper DaBaby and SNL’s Michael Che. They got some ‘splainin to do! In the number 8 slot this week, we add Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson (8) to the ever growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected after making bogus claims about a new virus threat. In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb (9) because of course they are! Finally this week it’s episode 4 of our ongoing look at the people who voted for and inexplicably still support our 45th president – Red State Diaries (4)! This week we’re taking a look at Former Guy Supporter #1 – Mike Lindell and how he’s gaining influence in the conservative world! Is he a dangerous kook? Yes! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Capitol Rioters
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So last week we talked about one of the dumbest people we’ve ever elected, and that’s House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-Batshit) and his plans to completely derail the investigation of the Capitol Riots that killed 6 people and caused Congress to panic. We also noted that they were only casually there to overthrow the government. Now that the first round of hearings are in the books, how did they go, you might ask? Well I might answer you – they went from “not well” to “extremely poor”. Well remember that movie “What To Expect When You’re Expecting”? Well think of this as “What to expect when you’re expecting an insurrection”. Excuse me a minute… Thank you graphics department! But that said, here’s how this went!

The stunning attack on the U.S. Capitol by a mob of Trump supporters roughly six months ago threatened lawmakers and came close to upending the process to certify the 2020 presidential election.

Most members of Congress decried the onslaught in the hours after the Jan. 6 insurrection, but since then the date has become a deeply polarizing moment on Capitol Hill.

After Senate Republicans blocked a bill to create an independent commission to investigate the attack, the House established a select committee to lead the probe.

The panel's first hearing on Tuesday was emotional as four law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol that day gave firsthand accounts of being overrun, assaulted, and harangued by rioters as "traitors." All described lingering physical and emotional trauma. Some rioters hurled racial epithets at African American officers.
https://www.npr.org/2021/07/28/1021113538/4-takeaways-from-the-emotional-1st-select-committee-hearing-on-the-capitol-attac




Sorry Mel, I don’t think it works that way! But that said, why were Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Greene storming a prison attempting to get an inside look at how these prisoners were treated? Well, rightfully so, they were very quickly shown the door. But that hasn’t stopped the conspiracy theories from coming in far and wide on this subject! And I love that they were very quickly shut down by protestors, and that’s exactly how you handle these lunatics!

The number of places that Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene are welcome is dwindling. The little-liked trolls among the neo-conservative movement are even having trouble setting up in their own backyard. A press conference from the pair in Washington, D.C., about imprisoned alleged participants in the Jan. 6 Capitol riots was derailed entirely by protesters.

The presser and the protests come as the legislature is beginning its hearings into the Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol building. The demonstrators ruined shots of the conference by ambling into the background with accusatory signage. At the same time, a lone person loudly blew a whistle to drown out the speakers.

The protest came well into the conference, when a group carrying a massive Trump puppet and holding signs that said "Pedophiles for Trump" appeared on the scene. C-SPAN was carrying the conference live. Protesters showed up and ran the conference off at about the 16-minute mark.

The disruption comes shortly after Gaetz and Greene's rally was booted from a California venue after the owner pre-emptively put the kibosh it, saying that he wanted nothing to do with the congressional reps.
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2021/07/27/matt-gaetz-marjorie-taylor-greenes-press-conference-on-capitol-rioters-shut-down-by-protestors




They came to us with pitchforks and torches! TORCHES!!! The thing is we’re not making light of the shit show that went down on January 6th. It’s truly terrifying. And we may never know things like how many people were there, how far they got, what they were trying to accomplish, and who might have been helping the terrorists from the inside. This wasn’t just a mere riot, this was an attempted coup and crazy to think that we almost lost democracy that day.

Four police officers on Tuesday told lawmakers they were beaten, taunted with racial insults, heard threats including "kill him with his own gun" and thought they might die as they struggled to defend the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 against a mob of then-President Donald Trump's supporters.

Often tearful, sometimes profane, the officers called the rioters "terrorists" engaged in an "attempted coup" during a 3-1/2 hour congressional hearing in which they also criticized Republican lawmakers who have sought to downplay the attack.

"I feel like I went to hell and back to protect the people in this room," said District of Columbia police officer Michael Fanone, referring to lawmakers. "The indifference shown to my colleagues is disgraceful," Fanone added, slamming his hand onto the witness table.

It was a dramatic first hearing for a Democratic-led House of Representatives committee formed despite opposition by Trump's fellow Republicans to investigate the worst violence at the Capitol since the British invasion in the War of 1812.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/police-who-defended-us-capitol-testify-riot-probes-first-hearing-2021-07-27/




Yeah that’s kind of how I felt watching the horror unfold from Washington DC. And this is while we were off and were sitting and watching in horror. It’s totally insane what happened and even more insane to think about what could have happened. But the really sad and scary thing is that this will not change the minds of the MAGA loyalists no matter how many times you beat them over the head with it. Which is why it could happen again and it could get worse. We got lucky, but we might not be next time.

Some of Donald Trump's fiercest allies in Congress are continuing to downplay or ignore the January 6 insurrection, taking cues from the former President even after four police officers testified Tuesday, in front of the House select committee investigating the deadly Capitol attack, about their harrowing experiences that day.

Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas rejected the notion that lawmakers were downplaying the insurrection, only to then say that he thought it was an exaggeration to frame the riot as the worst attack since the Civil War.

"I don't know of anybody that's tried to downplay it other than, you know, their gross exaggeration that it's the worst attack on democracy since the Civil War. As Christopher Wray said, it's hard for those of us who were here for 9/11 to say 'Yes, this was worse than 9/11,' " Gohmert said Tuesday, paraphrasing testimony from the FBI director in June where he rejected a comparison between January 6 and 9/11. At that hearing, Wray called the insurrection "a very significant attack in its own right" and an "effort to disrupt a key part of our constitutional system and the peaceful transition of government."
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/27/politics/trump-republicans-hearing-reaction/index.html





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[font size="8"]Capitol Rioters – Political Prisoners?
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With all of the Trump MAGAs going off to prison for their participation in the horrifying events of January 6th, they’ve begun their own Martin Luther King style letter writing campaigns. Come on, guys, you know the old saying – don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time! But for this segment rather than blaming conservatives and our former president for this – we’re going to take a look at a different angle of this story. The question being – are the Capitol Rioters political prisoners? And there is only one correct answer to this issue: NO!!! You’re crooks who committed vandalism, stole property, and assaulted and killed police officers. But that’s not the case here. However, as the GOP continues to rewrite history, we’re going to come after them!

A federal judge pushed back against the idea that incarcerated Capitol riot defendants are “political prisoners” on Wednesday during a sentencing hearing for a Michigan man who pleaded guilty of entering the Capitol.

Judge Amy Berman Jackson said it was clear from statements he made before and after January 6 that Karl Dresch, of Calumet, Michigan, didn’t travel to D.C. on January 6 to attend a rally – and that he wasn’t charged or jailed because of his political views.

“He is not a political prisoner,” Jackson said. “We are not here today because he supported former President Trump. He was an enthusiastic participant in an effort to subvert the electoral process.”

Dresch has been in custody since his arrest in January on multiple charges in connection with the Capitol riot, including obstruction of an official proceeding and disorderly conduct.
https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/national/capitol-riots/he-is-not-a-political-prisoner-judge-pushes-back-on-right-wing-talking-point-in-capitol-riot-sentencing-karl-dresch-michigan-donald-trump/65-0433a71c-8f08-46c0-a06e-9ec3d2c28e86




No no no no no no no no no no no! Let me make something perfectly clear here. You are not political prisoners of any kind! You know who was a political prisoner? Nelson Mandela! You know what you idiots are? A bunch of creepy guys in sky masks who threatened to murder the Vice President and led an insurrection against Congress. So yeah I might give you a heaping glass of “shut the fuck up”. And that’s what you get for listening to a con artist!

The recording is barely discernible, but amid the clangs and scratches it’s possible to make out a few male voices singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Despite its poor quality, it’s become an object of veneration on the far-right: a recording of imprisoned Capitol riot suspects singing the national anthem.

“This breaks my heart,” tweeted Amy Kremer, the leader of Women for America First and a key organizer of the Jan. 6 Trump rally at the Washington Monument that preceded the U.S. Capitol riot.

The recording, published earlier this month on a conservative blog, has become the latest totem in an effort to cast the imprisoned riot defendants as patriotic political prisoners suffering behind bars. The Daily Beast was unable to verify the authenticity of the recording.

As Donald Trump and his allies on the right look to rewrite the history of Jan. 6, the riot suspects still in jail are being reimagined as victims of a vengeful deep state, imprisoned not because they’re awaiting trial for alleged crimes but because of their love of country and Trump.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/republicans-recast-jan-6-riot-defendants-as-political-prisoners




So once again, the cause of and solution to this problem lies squarely with Fox News. It’s no mistake that conservatives are trying to rewrite history. And not only that, they’re trying to up the American symbolism, or as I like to call it, American porn to levels way past 11. And really don’t ask this guy for his take on the subject. In all fairness he’s probably the last guy who you should ask for any opinions on anything MAGA related.

CNN anchor John Berman on Tuesday morning blasted Tucker Carlson for attempting to “suppress the memory” of what happened during the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, mockingly calling the far-right Fox News host’s show “Fantasy Island.”

Carlson, who has long played down the seditious riot as nothing more than “political protest that got out of hand,” took his revisionism a step further on Monday: He claimed “it’s a lie” that white supremacists were at all involved in the violence and said there was “no evidence” of an “armed insurrection” at the Capitol.

With the Senate holding hearings on the security breakdown during the deadly riot, Berman brought on Punchbowl News founder Anna Palmer and columnist Errol Louis to discuss the latest push by Republicans to memory-hole the events of Jan. 6.

“I don’t think this could come at a more important time because you are seeing a wave of revisionism among some Republican senators like Ron Johnson, who says it wasn’t an armed insurrection,” the New Day co-host noted, referencing Johnson’s recent downplaying of the riot.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/cnn-anchor-slams-tucker-carlsons-capitol-riots-revisionism-this-is-fantasy-island/ar-BB1dWHnC?li=BBnb7Kz




You know asking Tucker Carlson to provide fair coverage of the Capitol Riot is like buying a bottle of Coors Light Private Reserve. It's just a really fancy way of selling you a really shitty product! But you know it’s included in your DirecTV subscription that you probably pay hundreds for every month. That said, you know once again the cause of this problem is Fox News. But what’s to stop the MAGA crowd from attempting this again? This judge has the right idea!

A man who pleaded guilty to breaching the Senate chamber during the US Capitol insurrection was sentenced Monday to eight months in prison in a closely watched case that could influence how hundreds of other rioters charged with the same felony are punished.

Paul Hodgkins, a 38-year-old Floridian, is now the first Capitol rioter convicted of a felony to be sentenced. He pleaded guilty last month to obstructing congressional proceedings -- specifically, the counting of the electoral votes, which he helped delay on January 6. He spent about 15 minutes inside the Senate chamber, wearing a Donald Trump shirt and carrying a Trump flag.

The sentence is far less than the 1.5-year prison term that the Justice Department requested. At a hearing Monday, prosecutors argued that 1.5 years would deter future political violence and send a strong warning to "people who may be contemplating a second act" after January 6.

District Judge Randolph Moss departed from that recommendation. He said Hodgkins contributed to a grave offense against democracy but deserved some leniency because he pleaded guilty "exceptionally early," wasn't involved in violence and issued a "sincere" apology.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/19/politics/capitol-riot-felony-paul-hodgkins/index.html





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[font size="8"]Simone Biles Trolling

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So usually when the Olympics are in full swing, it is supposed to unite people and countries cheering on their athletes to win the gold, silver, or even bronze medals. But this is the year 2021. And never in my life would I see people in America cheering against their own athletes, and in some cases actually wanting them to lose! Why? Because… wait for it… the Olympics are becoming “woke”! Can we please stop with this shit already? It was cute for maybe a minute in 2016 but really it’s fucking old now. Case in point – both Tucker Carlson and Bill Maher were both decrying the new “woke Olympics”. Come on, Bill, you’re supposed to be on our side!

Fans have slammed insensitive Simone Biles ‘quit’ memes circulating on social media after her decision to pull out of the Olympic team.

The American gymnast said that she needed to focus on her mental health after she withdrew from the women’s team final on Tuesday, July 27th.

“I know that this Olympic Games, I wanted it to be for myself,” Simone said. “I came here, and I felt like I was still doing it for other people. So that just hurts my heart that doing what I love has been kind of taken away from me to please other people.

According to reports, she has now decided to pull out of the individual all-around final on Thursday.

While fellow athletes have praised the four-time Olympic champion for prioritising her health, a number of insensitive memes have surfaced on social media.
https://www.hitc.com/en-gb/2021/07/28/simone-biles-meme/




Yeah that’s exactly what they deserve. Keep in mind trolls, not everyone is meant for a spotlight, and especially the way Ms. Biles was put on a global pedestal so quickly, I can only imagine that would make anyone freak out. It would be like if our crappy little program suddenly overtook Trevor Noah’s time slot. And yes I am not prepared for that! But that said it’s absolutely insane that Fox News and other right wing outlets are actually cheering against US Olympians. It’s disturbing to say the least!

There’s something about Simone Biles that apparently triggers the MAGA-verse.

After the world’s preeminent gymnast dropped out of Olympic competition this week, right-wing Trump ally Charlie Kirk lashed out at her as a “selfish sociopath” and a “shame to the country.”

“We are raising a generation of weak people like Simone Biles,” said Kirk, who appears in television ads for pain-relief supplements.

He was hardly alone.

“Sorry, Simone Biles, The Olympics Isn’t About You, It’s About Winning For America,” proclaimed The Federalist. Radio host Clay Travis insisted that “she should apologize to her teammates for quitting on them at the moment they needed her the most.” Piers Morgan felt the need to similarly pile on: “I don’t think it’s remotely courageous, heroic or inspiring to quit,” Piers wrote in the Daily Mail.
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/07/29/simone-biles-and-the-magaverses-fetish-of-toughness-501515




Oh come on, you really want to know what triggers the MAGA crowd about Ms. Biles? Well I can put my finger on it, but I won’t directly say it. Thank you audience! But you know we applaud Ms. Biles for taking a stand on mental health and that’s something that should be done more, especially in this day and age when COVID is wreaking havoc on our social lives and our mental health. But you know what the underlying problem is? It ain’t mental health, it’s racism.

Abuse on social media is a growing issue for athletes and not just at the Olympics. There were 12,500 racist tweets and posts sent to three Black players on England’s football team after England lost to Italy in the Euro Championships final in July.

The abuse is often racist and Australia’s eSafety commissioner, Julie Inman Grant, says her office’s work with the AFL monitoring abuse Australian football players cop online found Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander people were three times more likely to receive targeted online hate and harassment.

The research found women were much more likely to receive misogynistic abuse that was sexualised and violent. “It’s not all out there in the open,” Inman Grant says. “In fact, a lot of the abuse goes directly to the players’ [direct messages] on Instagram and other places.”

The eSafety Commission is “certainly watching” what happens at the Olympics.
https://www.smh.com.au/business/entrepreneurship/a-really-ugly-playing-field-how-tech-is-tackling-online-trolling-of-athletes-20210728-p58dqo.html




But see here’s the thing – no matter what Ms. Biles had done – if she had won or lost the gold medal contest, she would have been subjected to endless scrutiny from the right because she wasn’t American enough. I’m looking at you, Tucker Carlson! Yes the guy who’s perhaps the right’s most loathsome commentator is unleashing his inner asshole at Ms. Biles for not being American enough. I mean come on guys, enough with this shit already!

Some of the usual professional trollers are criticizing Biles’ decision — middle-aged white guys such as conservative talk show host Clay Travis, Trump activist Charlie Kirk and Piers Morgan. Meanwhile, Fox News had on J.D. Vance, who is seeking the Republican nomination for Senate in Ohio next year, and teed him up to criticize the media for applauding Biles’ decision to prioritize her mental health. (Although, it should be noted that Fox News’ medical contributor Dr. Nicole Saphier supported Biles’ decision on “Outnumbered,” as did host Harris Faulkner and panelist Dagen McDowell.)

But, mostly, Biles seems to be getting support.

The headline on a smart Candace Buckner column in The Washington Post: “For exceptional Black women like Simone Biles, greatness is never enough.” Buckner wrote, “Whenever Biles pulls on her leotard, it’s as though she’s tightening a cape around her neck. She’s the hero tasked with saving a sullied sport, embodying some trite belief in American dominance — and also carrying a gender and an entire race. That’s a heavy cape, and it chokes. But it’s one that exceptional Black women, and women of color, are told to wear. Because simply being great isn’t good enough.”
https://www.poynter.org/commentary/2021/the-usual-professional-trollers-are-criticizing-simone-biles-decision/





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[font size="8"]Hobby Lobby
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I talked about this a bit last week but I am loving this story so much because I remember we trashed the Hobby Lobby Bible Museum when it first opened (see: Top 10 #3-5 ). But now it seems that karma is coming back to bite them in the ass, and very hard I might add! Because 4 years later, it turns out that Hobby Lobby may have acquired the Epic Of Gilgamesh illegally! Shocker, I know! But you know here’s a rule that I think should apply to everybody and it’s a pretty simple rule. How about… don’t steal priceless, irreplaceable artifacts from 3rd world countries, OK? And yeah that’s the kind of thing on display at the Museum Of The Bible. Which surprisingly omits “thou shalt not steal”. But needless to say this pissed off the Iraqi government something fierce.

A rare and ancient tablet showing part of the epic of Gilgamesh, which had been acquired by Christian arts and crafts retailer Hobby Lobby for display in its museum of biblical artefacts, has been seized by the US government.

The Department of Justice (DoJ) alleges that the 3,600-year-old “Gilgamesh Dream Tablet”, which originated in a region that is now part of Iraq, was acquired in 2003 by an American antiquities dealer, “encrusted with dirt and unreadable”, from the family member of a London coin dealer. Once it had arrived in the US, and been cleaned, experts realised that it showed a portion of the Gilgamesh epic, one of the world’s oldest works of literature, in the Akkadian language.

The DoJ alleges that the dealer then sold the tablet with a “false provenance letter”, saying that it had been inside a box of ancient bronze fragments purchased in a 1981 auction. It was then sold several times before Hobby Lobby bought it from a London auction house in 2014, and put it on display in the Museum of the Bible. The museum was conceived by evangelical Christian Steve Green, the billionaire president of Hobby Lobby.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/jul/28/ancient-gilgamesh-tablet-seized-from-hobby-lobby-by-us-authorities




Oh come on, you can’t wait 6 months? Well so Hobby Lobby stepped in it good. And this isn’t an isolated incident either! There were thousands of artifacts that have been stolen over the last few years from the country of Iraq. And come on they’ve been through a lot in the last 25 years. But looting in a time of war isn’t a new thing, it’s been around since, well, war. Even the Simpsons had an episode about stolen loot from World War II. But that said, Hobby Lobby is not alone here.

The United States has sent back more than 17,000 objects to Iraq. Hasan Nadhim, the Iraqi culture minister, said that the repatriation was “the largest in the history of Iraq.”

Among the objects repatriated to the country was a tablet from the epic of Gilgamesh that was owned by Hobby Lobby, an Oklahoma-based craft store chain. U.S. authorities had been seeking its forfeiture since 2020.

The New York Times reported that cylinder seals, clay tablets, and more arrived in wooden crates in Iraq this week. More than 5,000 of the items that were sent back reportedly came from Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, which has previously faced claims that it owns tablets looted from Iraq in the 1990s.

The Gilgamesh tablet was bought by Hobby Lobby in 2014 for $1.67 million with the hope of displaying it at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., whose founder and board chair is Steve Green, Hobby Lobby’s president. The tablet was seized from the museum in 2019 after federal prosecutors said they believed it was looted from Iraq. The museum said at the time that it supported returning the tablet.
https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/us-returns-artifacts-iraq-hobby-lobby-gilgamesh-tablet-1234600115/




That seems about right! So how was this allowed to happen? Well it’s no secret how grossly incompetent the previous administration was on foreign affairs, and this is huge for the country of Iraq which really needs this kind of thing. But make no mistake here that we’re glad to see these priceless artifacts being returned to their rightful owner. And we didn’t get here overnight, this happened to be a decade in the making. How come Hobby Lobby knew more about this than the US government? That seems like a fact worth knowing!

The so-called “Gilgamesh Dream Tablet” has been at the center of an antiquities trafficking scandal stretching back over a decade.

Named because it’s inscription bears a portion of the legendary Epic of Gilgamesh, a Sumerian folk tale which is among the oldest recorded poems in human history, the clay tablet was first inscribed in the area of modern-Iraq some 3,600 years ago.

Ultimately the tablet found its way into the possession of Hobby Lobby, the U.S. based chain store whose evangelical Christian owners were bankrolling the Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C.

For years, the Green family, who owns the chain, had been buying up artifacts from across the near East, often with an unscrupulous disregard for provenance, to stock their new museum.
https://www.occrp.org/en/daily/14955-hobby-lobby-hands-over-legendary-tablet-to-be-returned-to-iraq




No I think it’s you who are wrong. But now here’s where the story gets interesting. Just how did Hobby Lobby acquire this ancient tablet when even the US government couldn’t track it down? Well the tablet was stolen from Iraq back in the 90s and it went on a global journey – from Iraq to Jordan to London and finally wound up in the hands of the same store that sells you glitter guns and cheap art décor. Yup, that’s all you need to know!

Prosecutors said the dealer believed the tablets could be of some value and paid $50,350 for them. They were reportedly shipped to the U.S. without filing a formal entry with U.S. Customs, as is required for items costing more than $2,000.

One of the tablets that had been illegible and covered with dirt was cleaned when it arrived in the U.S. That’s when they discovered it was part of the Epic of Gilgamesh, court filings state.

The tablet spent some time being studied by a professor in Princeton, New Jersey, before it was sold to two antiquities buyers for $50,000 in 2007, prosecutors said. At the time of its sale, the antiquities dealer who first purchased it in London created a fake provenance letter stating it had been bought at auction in 1981.

That letter “traveled with the tablet as it was sold several times in different countries,” prosecutors said.
https://www.mahoningmatters.com/local-news/hobby-lobby-bought-ancient-stolen-tablet-with-tale-of-gilgamesh-the-feds-seized-it-4181208





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[font size="8"]California Recall: The Latest
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You know how something sounds so ridiculously insane that you can’t help but laugh at the possibility of it becoming a reality? Like say for instance a 95 pound woman beat a 250 pound man in a pie eating contest. And then you’re in absolute shock when the 95 pound woman eats 15 blueberry pies while the 250 pound man barely finishes a slice. That’s kind of what the California recall is shaping up to be. Yes, we have a recall election and it’s less than a month away. While we were laughing at this possibility, it’s quickly becoming no joke. Especially when you consider the people running this recall election are people who you wouldn’t trust to run an elementary school carnival. Well the California recall is unfortunately gaining in popularity and there is a serious possibility that Newsom could lose – and that’s something we should all be frightened about.

New polling data released this week found that voters are nearly evenly split over the recall vote for California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D).

The Emerson College - Nexstar poll found that 46 percent of voters were in favor of the recall vote against Newsom while 48 percent said they were opposed. The remaining six percent said they were undecided.

Emerson College noted that the percentage of undecided voters had fallen by three percent, while those in favor of the recall had risen by three percent.

The majority of Republicans and independents were in favor of recalling Newsom with 80 percent of 54 percent respectively saying they would vote to remove him.

A divide by educational levels was apparent in the results, as those without college degrees were largely in favor of the recall at 54 percent compared to the 39 percent who were against it. Among college-educated respondents, 36 percent said they were in favor of the recall while 59 percent were opposed.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/566291-new-poll-shows-dead-heat-in-california-recall-election




Yes that’s about what we’re experiencing here in California. We could lose and we could see Newsome replaced by some far right sycophant. But who? Who could possibly replace Newsom and become governor of my great state of California? Well right now the front runner is Larry Elder. That’s right – a fucking right wing radio host could replace a popular governor. But what’s fueling this latest in this nonsense election?

Like clockwork, we are suddenly blitz of ads, right wing segments, and a social media campaign attacking Newsom from the right and left using the same "liberal elite" talking points. "What about the emails?" has been replaced with "Remember the French Laundry!"

Never mind that the recall was driven and underwritten by Trump supporters. The fact of the matter is that Republicans cannot win a campaign on the issues. So, there are running a smear campaign complete with sock puppets in social media pushing right wing talking points without discussing the merits of the candidates. Likewise, we are seeing so-called "progressives" minimizing the impact of a recall, because we have the courts and the Legislature as a backstop.

Where have seen this playbook before? The question of whether Newsom should be recalled is not one in the abstract. The issue whether you want to vote for Newsom or a right wing alternative such as Elder/Cox/Jenner who will do their best to fan election conspiracies, push vaccine conspiracies, and deny the reality of global warming? We have seen the consequences of even one term with a right wing extremist as an elected, because with a recall, the replacement candidate just needs a plurality to win.

So, the choice is a Democratic governor who has done as good a job as any Governor of a large state during the pandemic versus a science denying right wing extremist who roll measures designed to save Californian lives.

Which candidate would you vote for to replace Gov. Newsom if he is recalled?
https://abc7news.com/larry-elder-gop-recall-candidates-wildfires/10923239/




Yeah really! And if you want to know some of Larry Elder’s greatest hits, just take a look at this where he says that there should be no minimum wage. And in case you doubt Mr. Elder’s MAGA credentials, he is literally taking a page from Former Guy’s book about the out of control fires in California that are getting worse each fire season.

California recall candidate Larry Elder 'not sure' climate change is reason for state's wildfires

SAN FRANCISCO (KGO) -- Conservative talk show host Larry Elder is currently leading the pack of Republicans hoping to replace Gov. Gavin Newsom in California's recall election.

A new poll from the Berkeley Institute of Governmental Studies found that among voters most likely to participate in the recall, Elder has the most support, followed by San Diego businessman John Cox, former San Diego mayor Kevin Faulconer and Assemblymember Kevin Kiley.

In an interview with ABC7 News this weekend, Elder made his pitch for governor, gave his position on vaccine and mask mandates (he's opposed to both) and addressed climate change and its impact in California.

According to a new poll from the Public Policy Institute of California, 63% of Californians are very concerned about climate change, especially around the increasing severity of wildfires and drought.
https://abc7news.com/larry-elder-gop-recall-candidates-wildfires/10923239/




It’s not all doom and gloom in the California recall election though, there is some good news. Remember Caitlyn Jenner was running for governor? Well it turns out that – shocker – her campaign is broke! I mean come on , when you get in with the MAGA crowd that kind of thing is bound to happen. And I am laughing my ass off that she hired Trump’s campaign manager and is now flat broke. Guess even the MAGA bubble is about to burst! Where’s Nelson when you need him?

Caitlyn Jenner’s gubernatorial campaign has piled up debt, filings show, as the celebrity and former Olympian struggles to make headway in California’s recall race.

From the launch of Jenner’s candidacy through the end of July, the campaign raised about $747,000 and spent some $910,000, leaving her campaign with about $156,000 in unpaid bills and roughly $21,000 on hand for the race’s critical final stretch.

More than a quarter of that money has flowed to fundraising platform WinRed and to enlist the services of former Trump campaign hand Brad Parscale and former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer.

Jenner’s fundraising lags behind former San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer and radio host Larry Elder. All of the replacement candidates are well behind Gov. Gavin Newsom, who has raised more than $40 million to fight the recall and can collect donations without contribution limits.
https://www.politico.com/states/california/story/2021/08/02/jenner-campaign-in-debt-as-california-recall-hits-homestretch-9426996





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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! As I keep saying we live in some very dark times right now. There is a great plague among us. And I am not talking about the supporters of the Unholy, Ungodly Dark One who are still inexplicably walking among us. No, I’m talking about that other plague. The one that’s involving an actual virus, sent here by the DEVIL! I mean SAYTAN himself! But now we have the solution to stopping this horrid virus in its’ tracks! That solution is the vaccine! But people on the other side aren’t taking the vaccine. Now why is that? You know to understand this cause, I think we have to find the underlying root source of this nonsense. So what do supporters of the Unholy Dark One think is the root cause of this virus? Well the usual suspects.

End Times author William Koenig was a guest on Jan Markell’s “Understand The Times” radio program Sunday, where he claimed that the global COVID-19 pandemic was the judgment of God on the United States for its tolerance of the LGBTQ community.

Koenig has built a career out of chronicling the ways in which God supposedly sends natural disasters to America as punishment for failing to stand with Israel, which was precisely what he blamed the COVID-19 pandemic on last year. But on Sunday, Koenig asserted that the pandemic was now God’s judgment for American culture being “so pro-LGBT.”

When Markell said that LGBTQ activists are trying to get children to “question their sexuality so they can be groomed and be evangelized,” Koenig readily agreed.

“I really sense that COVID is part of the judgment,” Koenig said. “We had a national shutdown last summer. We had every major sports league that favored the LGBT agenda, that even took on states for their bathroom bills. When you think about Hollywood was shut down. We thought fashion was shut down. Retail was shut down. All these areas that were so pro-LGBT, the COVID shut them down, and I don’t know if they’ll ever recover.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/william-koenig-says-covid-19-is-gods-judgment-on-the-us-for-being-so-pro-lgbt/




Sorry, dude. You could have got away with this crap maybe in 2001, but you’re not getting away with it in 2021. But that said if you’re a member of the right wing conservative church group and you don’t get the vaccine, and you wind up with a terrible case of this virus, who do you blame? Because if there’s one thing I have learned about the conservative right, is that they always blame others. They never take responsibility for themselves! And that’s exactly what Rick Wiles did!

In May, radical right-wing conspiracy theorist Rick Wiles declared that he would never accept any COVID-19 vaccine because the vaccines were part of a plot to carry out “global genocide.” In June, Wiles spent several days in the hospital battling a COVID-19 infection that spread widely throughout his staff and family.

Upon recovering from the infection and returning to his nightly “TruNews” program, Wiles naturally began to spread conspiracy theories about how he been infected and continues to do so, using his program Tuesday night to blame people who have been vaccinated against COVID-19 for his infection. The vaccines, he said, were “satanic serum.”

In Wiles’ telling, the highly contagious Delta variant of the COVID-19 virus does not really exist but is merely a cover for an illness that is being spread by those who have been vaccinated. In Wiles’ view, it was not his refusal to get vaccinated that resulted in his infection, but rather it was someone who got vaccinated that was responsible for spreading the infection to him.

“You’ve got people who are vaccinated who are shedding the virus, infecting other people, walking around thinking they are protected and yet they are the ones who are spreading the virus to other people,” Wiles said. “I don’t think that there is a variant called Delta. I think it’s a name that they gave the public to explain the explosion of infections caused by the vaccinated people.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/satanic-serum-rick-wiles-blames-other-people-getting-vaccinated-for-his-covid-19-infection/




Well with people like these at the helm, we really don’t! I kid… I kid! But really first off, Satanic Serum would make a great name for a death metal band! But no, another old friend of the show, our old buddy Dave Daubenmire just doesn’t know when to quit does he? But what he wants is not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now is it? And correct me if I am wrong but I think this is literally their way of shooting the messenger now isn’t it?

Radical right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire spoke at a conference in his home state of Ohio last weekend, where he shared the stage with notorious anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist Sherri Tenpenny.

Upon returning to his daily “Pass The Salt Live” webcast Monday morning, Daubenmire was fired up over vaccine mandates and COVID-19 restrictions, which resulted in him having a screaming meltdown while accusing Dr. Anthony Fauci of working for Satan in an effort to destroy Christians.

Daubenmire spent a good portion of his program discussing “The Book of Giants,” an apocryphal biblical book supposedly written by prophet Enoch that purports to explain why God had to destroy the Earth with Noah’s flood. According to the Book of Giants, angels in rebellion against God had mated with human women, creating a race of giants known as the Nephilim, who were so wicked that God had no choice but to destroy the world.

Daubenmire, who is an ardent believer in the historical existence of the Nephilim, linked the current COVID-19 vaccines to the End Times by citing Jesus’ warning in Matthew 24 that “as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man,” asserting that the vaccines are modern-day demonic effort to corrupt humanity’s DNA akin to the mixing of DNA prior to the flood.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-says-dr-fauci-is-an-emissary-of-the-devil-sent-to-destroy-christians/




That is true, good Reverend! And I say this as a man of GAWD! Because that’s not something that the good LAWRD wants now is it? Is a bunch of conspiracy theory hawking nut jobs who don’t get the vaccine now is it? Make no mistake we’ve been in this thing in over a year and a half now and people are demanding answers. But that said this alarmism is concerning – where is it coming from and what is their end game with this? Well let’s just ask a supporter of the Dark One!

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene suggested that if vaccinators go door to door in Alabama offering the COVID-19 vaccine, Alabamians are entitled to use their “Second Amendment rights,” a reference to the constitutional provision that protects the right of citizens, as part of a “well regulated Militia,” to keep and bear arms. In making those comments, Greene appears to be misrepresenting door-knocking community members who encourage people to get the vaccine as someone standing on your steps, needle in hand, coercing vaccinations. Alabama’s hospitals are currently overrun with COVID-19 patients, partly due to the low vaccination rate in the state.

The video, which was taken surreptitiously by someone in the crowd at a private event in Alabama on July 23, was provided exclusively to “The David Pakman Show,” a nationally broadcasted progressive TV and radio talk show. In it, the representative from Georgia tells the crowd that President Joe Biden might send “one of his police state friends” to Alabamians’ front door, and that Southerners love the Second Amendment rights and don’t like “strangers showing up at our front door.”

“You lucky people in Alabama might get a knock on your door because I hear Alabama might be the most unvaccinated state in the nation,” Green told the assembled crowd to cheers. “Well, Joe Biden wants to come talk to you guys. He’s going to be sending one of his police state friends to your front door, [they’re going to] knock on the door, write down your name, your address, your family members’ names, your phone numbers, your cell phone numbers, probably ask for your Social Security number, and whether you’ve taken the vaccine or not.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/marjorie-taylor-greene-suggests-second-amendment-should-be-used-on-vaccinators/




Of course! Their solution to everything is the 2nd amendment! I thought their Bible said that “Thou shalt not kill”? But then again I would trust that they haven’t read it at all! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Celebrities saying stupid things
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So I have to admit – we’re excited about seeing people get back together on stage again, after nearly 18 months of silence and dead stages. Even with times as dangerous as these it’s so much better having live events with people aren’t they? I know if I had to live another year on Zoom I’d take a baseball bat to my web cam. But that said, the return of live performances and concerts has also brought back another phenomenon – people saying stupid shit on stage. That said let’s take a look at what happened when rapper DaBaby spent some time during his performance at Rolling Loud to say some horrible things about gay people. And not only did he say stupid things, he doubled down!

In the aftermath of his Rolling Loud controversy, DaBaby was removed from Lollapalooza's lineup, with the festival's social media accounts announcing that he would no longer play Saturday night, as their event was “founded on diversity, inclusivity, respect and love.”

DaBaby has dubbed himself the “Live Show Killa,” and he’s certainly gotten folks around the world talking about his recent set at Rolling Loud. During the performance, the Charlotte rapper born Jonathan Kirk not only brought controversial artist Tory Lanez on stage, but made some truly bizarre and offensive comments about queer people, as well as those living with HIV and AIDS.

“If you didn't show up today with HIV/AIDS, or any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that'll make you die in two to three weeks, then put your cell phone light in the air,” he said. “Ladies, if your pussy smells like water, put a cell phone light in the air. Fellas, if you ain’t suck a n-gga dick in the parking lot, put your cell phone lights in the air. Keep it fucking real.”

Though much of the initial scrutiny of DaBaby’s set centered around Lanez, whom Megan the Stallion accused of shooting her last year in a widely-publicized incident, discourse in the ensuing days has focused on Kirk’s homophobic comments.
https://www.gq.com/story/dababy-rolling-loud-controversy-explained




Well not literally but that’s neither here nor there. So almost immediately this split the hip hop community and social media down the middle with people supporting and despising DaBaby’s controversial comments. It also resulted in him getting dropped from several upcoming appearances like ACL Festival, the Roots Picnic, Day N Vegas, and Hot 97 Summer Jam. But my personal favorite reaction to him came from the Roots drummer Questlove.

Questlove isn't here for the recent homophobic comments DaBaby made during the Billion Dollar Baby Ent. CEO's Rolling Loud performance in Miami on Sunday (July 25).

In an Instagram post The Roots cofounder shared last night (July 28), Quest posted a photo of a list of names of a number of artists—The Roots, A Tribe Called Quest, The Isley Brothers, Rihanna, Sade, Megan Thee Stallion, DaBaby, Hiatus Kaiyote, Sault—but DaBaby's name is crossed out.

For the caption, Questlove typed: "I was hypothetically asked if I was curating an updated version of #SummerOfSoul who would be my acts? I gave my dream list."

He continued: "And now I’m updating my list——because it’s 2021 & fuck the bullshit. I’m especially not here for any savagery (if you’re lost: Google the idiocy of the crossed out). I’m not trine be all performative smurf & create a social flogging or start some click bait headlines. That’s missing the point. But right is right & his actions are wrong. Somebody Gotta say it: Homophobia/Transphobia/Xenophobia/Misogyny/Racism——this should go w/o saying is morally wrong."

Read More: Questlove Calls Out DaBaby for His Homophobic Comments - XXL | https://www.xxlmag.com/questlove-dababy-homophobic-comments/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral




Yeah exactly what Questlove said there! But that said this has been quite the wild ride for DaBaby. And as they said on 30 Rock, the community that you never want to offend is the LGBT community, for they are the most vocal of the communities! But you also don’t want to go against fans of Megan Thee Stallion either, and they are loud and vocal. So yeah… maybe don’t side with the guy accused of shooting Megan Thee Stallion in the foot.

DaBaby’s show at Rolling Loud Sunday night at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens was part circus, part mob scene.

The rapper — whose hits include “BOP,” “Suge,” and “Vibez” — stunned festivalgoers with a surprise guest during his less than an hour show on the Ciroc stage. Directly following Megan Thee Stallion’s electric performance, he went on a homophobic and sexist rant and then brought out the man who allegedly shot her in the foot last July, Tory Lanez.

As the North Carolina native rapped his verse from Megan Thee Stallion’s “Cry Baby” record, a figure decked out in a mascot of him halted the set. DaBaby then told the crowd to guess who was in the costume.

“I’ll give somebody out here a million dollars if they can guess who in here,” he said as the head of the rapper’s mascot slowly came off revealing Lanez to rows of shocked faces and Megan Thee Stallion’s fans who had been hoping for a collaboration.
https://www.miamiherald.com/miami-com/miami-com-news/article253029763.html




Now keep in mind that the entirety of this story has been literally going on in the span of a week, but it feels like an eternity doesn’t it? But this is sadly the direction that the hip hop community seems to be going in is who can out troll who. And you know what? Fuck that shit. I want the music and I don’t care about any of the other shit that artists do in their free time. Fuck DaBaby, I’ll take Lupe Fiasco or The Roots any day of the week!

DaBaby has always been a troll of sorts. In 2017, the rapper showed up at the Austin music festival South by Southwest in a diaper, performing a publicity stunt that poked fun at his chosen rap persona. Now, four years from his introduction to the masses, DaBaby has taken his trolling to a more troubling realm.

During his set at last weekend’s Rolling Loud Festival in Miami, the rapper brought out controversial Toronto rapper Tory Lanez, who Megan Thee Stallion alleges shot her in the foot last year during an altercation. Lanez is currently under a restraining order barring him from even being within 100 yards from Megan, making DaBaby’s choice a clear effort to humiliate the Houston rapper. Meg and DaBaby recently had a public falling-out, not only over his choice to still work with Lanez in spite of his and Megan’s friendship and previous working relationship but also because the 29-year-old retweeted a post that made light of Megan getting shot.

In addition to featuring Lanez in his performance, DaBaby made homophobic and stigmatizing comments toward people with HIV and AIDS. He later doubled down, particularly on his homophobia, in an “apology” he posted on Twitter. He then tried to rectify the backlash from his post with a curiously-timed music video for his new song “Giving What It’s Supposed to Give,” which was released Wednesday afternoon. In the video, DaBaby inexplicably holds up a sign with “AIDS” written on the front. At the end of the video, rainbow-colored text appears onscreen: “Don’t Fight Hate With Hate.” Beneath the text is another half-assed apology. “My apologies for being me the same way you want the freedom to be you.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/dababy-troll-1204590/







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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Kay Ivey
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:



This week – Alabama governor Kay Ivey (R-Obviously). How did this insane woman get elected as the governor of Alabama? Well for one thing it is Alabama. But the other thing is, yes, it is also the state of Alabama. So we can’t exactly pinpoint the root cause of how people like Ivey get elected but we can guesstimate. But why is Gov. Ivey in the news this week? It’s for her inability to handle a crisis, and one especially of the magnitude of the public health crisis that we’re currently witnessing. And again, blame the people of Alabama who are firmly engrained in the Fox News and Q Anon cults for them to even begin to witness the devastation that Gov. Ivey is doing. But especially at a time when the emphasis is being put on vaccines and how well they stop the disease. And there’s some people who couldn’t give less of a shit.

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey issued an impassioned plea for residents of her state to get vaccinated against Covid-19, arguing it was “time to start blaming the unvaccinated folks” for the disease’s continued spread.

“I want folks to get vaccinated. That’s the cure. That prevents everything,” Ivey, a Republican, told reporters in Birmingham, Ala., on Thursday.

“Why would we want to mess around with just temporary stuff?” she said. “We don’t need to encourage people to just go halfway with curing this disease. Let’s get it done. And we know what it takes to get it done.”

Ivey went on to describe the shots as “safe” and “effective,” saying: “The data proves that it works. [It] doesn’t cost you anything. It saves lives.”
https://www.politico.com/news/2021/07/23/alabama-governor-covid-vaccinations-500638




Ah but you mis-underestimate the power of stupid and uncaring people there, governor, of which there are currently plenty! But now that conservatives are flipping to the side of “you need to get vaccinated” they are finally seeing the upside of just how important this is. And if you haven’t already, then what are you waiting for? Get the vaccine! And stop listening to people like the governor of Alabama.

Alabama’s Republican governor made an urgent plea for residents to get vaccinated to slow a surge in Covid-19 cases, becoming the latest top GOP official to step up calls for inoculations in the face of vaccine hesitancy among conservative voters.

“We’ve got to get folks to take the shot,” said Gov. Kay Ivey, whose state ranks poorly on Covid-19 vaccination rates. “Folks are supposed to have common sense. But it’s time to start blaming the unvaccinated folks, not the regular folks. It’s the unvaccinated folks that are letting us down,” she told reporters Thursday. “Let’s get it done.”

Earlier in the week, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) issued a stark warning: “I want to underscore in the strongest possible manner I can,” he said Tuesday. “These shots need to get in everybody’s arm as rapidly as possible.”

The forceful comments come as the Delta variant has rattled policy makers and markets. The slowing uptake of vaccinations has frustrated health experts and fueled charges from Democrats that the GOP hasn’t sufficiently embraced the inoculation effort or countered vaccine skepticism in its ranks.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/alabamas-governor-is-latest-gop-leader-to-implore-residents-to-get-covid-19-shot-11627063352




So even Mitch McConnell is turning a 180 and urging everyone to get the vaccine. But here’s what happens when you listen to idiots. As the late great Ronnie James Dio once said – “When you listen to fools, the mob rules!” and that may just very well be the case here. But here’s the thing, Gov. Ivey, you can’t be that surprised when the propaganda machine that elected you is also telling idiots not to get vaccinated because of political propaganda. You really can’t.

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey said Thursday the people who haven't received the COVID-19 vaccine are risking death needlessly and are "letting us down."

When asked what it's going to take to get people vaccinated in the state, Ivey fired back in frustration over the state's vaccination rate, which is now the lowest in the nation.

"I don't know. You tell me," Ivey said. "Folks supposed to have common sense. But it’s time to start blaming the unvaccinated folks, not the regular folks. It’s the unvaccinated folks that are letting us down."

Jefferson County Health Officer Dr. Mark Wilson said the coronavirus, including a new highly contagious delta variant, is spreading so rapidly that he believes public places should reconsider a return to requiring masks. Wilson said studies have shown the delta variant can spread between people in less than a minute.
https://www.wvtm13.com/article/alabama-gov-kay-ivey-frustrated-with-low-vaccination-rate/37112621




Now here’s the conundrum. Next year is going to be an election year and Gov. Ivey is up for a challenger, but who will step up? And we’re about to find out exactly where the voters of Alabama stand on the vaccine issue because one of the leading candidates who could become the Yellowhammer State’s next governor is an anti-vaccine nut job. And letting them loose in the Alabama governor’s office would be equivalent to giving the alcoholic the keys to the liquor cabinet. And that would be disastrous.

On July 22, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey said: “It’s the unvaccinated folks that are letting us down,” when asked why Alabama leads the nation in unvaccinated persons. “These folks are choosing a horrible lifestyle of self-inflicted pain. We’ve got to get folks to take the shot. The vaccine is the greatest weapon we have to fight COVID. There’s no question about that.”

Ivey’s strong stance in favor of the COVID-19 vaccine has not gone unnoticed by her political opponents, who accused her of shaming those Alabamians who have chosen not to get the vaccine.

State Auditor Jim Zeigler said: “What Gov. Ivey has forgotten – or never knew – is that those who are not vaccinated include a huge number who do not trust the government. A governor pushing so hard for vaccinations makes those distrustful of government even less likely to take the vaccine. Common sense is lacking here.”

Zeigler has said that he is exploring running for governor and will make a decision by Aug. 21.
https://www.alreporter.com/2021/07/30/vaccinations-becomes-an-alabama-gubernatorial-race-issue/




So leading the state with one of the lowest vaccination rates and telling people to get vaccinated, only to the possibility of losing to an insane anti-vaxxer. That’s Alabama governor Kay Ivey, yet another politician to add to the ever growing list of:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And before we get into this week’s entries, I want to preface by saying – NO! We are not going to include stories of anti-vaccine idiots who go out and get COVID and nearly die. That’s not what we are here to do, though we may save that idea for a future edition. We’re just here for sheer, unfiltered idiocy. OK moving onto our first story – I want to start with this story out of the great state of Ohio, where this is politics taken to quite literal extremes. And while this is a shitty (ha!) story, people, don’t do this! This would be like drawing dicks on your neighbor’s Recall Newsom sign, and as tempting as this may be, don’t do it! This is a perfect example of People Are Dumb.

The self-described “Trump man” who repeatedly defecated and urinated in front of a neighbor’s home because the residents are Joe Biden-supporting Democrats has been found guilty and sentenced for his nasty antics, Ohio court records show.

Jerry Detrick, 70, was cited for littering in late-May after being caught in the act of relieving himself at 3:15 AM in front of the residence Matthew Guyette, 59, shares with his husband. Detrick and Guyette live near each other in Greenville, a western Ohio city.

Guyette called 911 after spotting a man squatting down near a privet hedge. Cops subsequently identified Detrick, a retired high school teacher, as a suspect in the May 30 incident. During police questioning, Detrick confessed and admitted to defecating on Guyette’s property "multiple times."

Pictured above, Detrick said he targeted his neighbor’s home because Guyette and his spouse "are Democrats and support Joe Biden.” Detrick described himself as a “Trump man,” leading cops to conclude that “this incident is politically motivated," according to a police report.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/trump-man-guilty-285930




Um… god I hope that isn’t how it works, Peter! Next up – you know what? We got lots of great Florida stories this week. Now that society is slowly starting to open back up after being closed for 18 months, we’re going to see some crazy shit. Starting with this story out of Daytona Beach. And you know this is one of those stories where you really don’t fuck with nature. Especially animals as dangerous as alligators. But in all the time we’ve been doing this, the sheer stupidity of Florida Man knows no boundaries!
A Florida man who stole an alligator from a miniature-golf course, swung it around by its tail and threw it into the air claimed he was teaching the reptile “a lesson,” according to the Daytona Beach Shores Department of Public Safety.

Police said they were patrolling on South Atlantic Avenue around 3:20 a.m. Thursday when they saw a man later identified as William Hodge attempting to throw a live gator onto the roof of a building.

Hodge, 32, grabbed the creature by its tail and hit it against a building awning, according to the affidavit. He’s also accused of slamming it onto the ground and stomping on it twice and throwing the alligator over his shoulder and then onto the ground.

Officers said they approached Hodge after seeing him throw the alligator and he immediately put his hands up to surrender and was taken into custody.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2021/07/15/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-gator-from-golf-course-threw-it-around-to-teach-it-a-lesson/#//




Yeah no it doesn’t quite look that way. Next up – sticking with the Sunshine State, or as it’s called, America’s Wang, by Homer Simpson. And this comes out of a town where a whole lot of crazy shit happens – Clearwater. This particular story, we’ve all been there – what to watch on TV? Do you watch cartoons or do you watch Monk reruns? I do love Monk and have watched the series multiple times, but I would never let it get to this point!

During a dispute over whether to watch cartoons or the show “Monk,” a Florida man struck his roommate at an assisted living facility over the head with his cane, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony charge. Investigators say that Glenn Hutchinson, 58, struck the 56-year-old disabled victim during a confrontation Sunday evening at the Midway Manor facility in Clearwater. Both men are residents there due to “a variety of physical conditions,” according to an arrest affidavit.

While his roommate sought to watch cartoons, Hutchinson preferred to view “Monk,” the police procedural starring Tony Shalhoub as an obsessive-compulsive sleuth. The pair’s argument over the TV turned violent when Hutchinson hit the victim, Edward Vance Davis, on the head with his aluminum cane.

Hutchinson told police that Davis “drove his motorized scooter into his leg,” prompting him to swing the cane in self-defense. Davis, who was left with a “visible mark” due to the cane blow, was not transported to a hospital.

Charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, Hutchinson was booked into the county jail, where he remains behind bars in lieu of $5,000 bond. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with Davis.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/assisted-living/monk-cane-battery-149735




Uh… yes you are! Next up – you know we live in a country with more guns than people. And when stupid people get their hands on dangerous weapons, they’re bound to use them to do very stupid things! Case in point – and again, not shocking at all that this story came out of Florida – if you give an idiot a gun, don’t be surprised when they do something stupid with it! We go to the panhandle town of Pensacola for this story!

A man accidentally shot himself while showing off his gun at a bar in Florida, local reports say.

According to the Pensacola News Journal, the incident happened on Thursday night at O’Riley’s Uptown Tavern in Pensacola. Police told WEAR-TV the self-shooter is 28-year-old Carlos Feituuaki Tuifua, who survived and is recovering.

Surveillance video viewed by the Journal showed how the accident unfolded. At 11pm, Mr Tuifua was sitting at the bar talking to a man and a woman. About a minute later, he pulled out a handgun and showed it to them for a few seconds.

Then, the Journal reported, Mr Tuifua made a sudden gesture “as if he were putting the gun into an invisible holster” below his shoulder, but instead shot himself in the torso. .............(more)

https://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-shoots-himself-while-142143606.html




Finally this week – remember what I said in the beginning of this segment about not fucking around with nature? You know one place you should never test that theory? The zoo. Especially one that houses dangerous animals like jaguars and tigers and rhinos and bears? Yeah you should never think those animals are anything but dangerous. And for this story, I believe the technical term for this is “fuck around and find out”. Well, actions have consequences!

He must have been easy to spot.

A Florida man got clawed by a jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo Wednesday, after he jumped over a safety barrier and stuck his arm into an enclosure, local reports said.

The man, who wasn’t publicly identified but is in his 20s, was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries, local outlet WJXT reported.

Witnesses told the station that the predatory park visitor had egged on the big cats before he hopped over a gate and into the “Range of the Jaguar” exhibit. ..........(more)

https://nypost.com/2021/07/28/florida-man-injured-after-sticking-his-arm-in-jaguar-pen-at-zoo/




That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Red State Diaries
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Welcome back to our ongoing survey of how the 2020 election has affected the country and all the crazy shit that the right wing has been up to since then! Last week we took a look at states where election recounts and audits are gaining momentum including Idaho and Pennsylvania! This week we’re going to take a look at some of the key players behind this mess. And if you want to overturn a major presidential election, maybe don’t hire these people to work for you. One such person is the CEO of MyPillow. Yes, that guy! So last week he attempted to air an “election special” on Fox News which is really just his way of promoting yet *ANOTHER* conservative friendly social media app. I mean come on, do we need any more of these? The market is already saturated enough with this crap, stop it already! But the scary thing is that Mr. Lindell is gaining big influence and that’s something that should be very worrying to people who aren’t firmly engrained in the MAGA cult. But here’s what happened exactly.

When you contemplate the end of democracy in America, what kind of person do you think will bring it about? Maybe you picture a sinister billionaire in a bespoke suit, slipping brown envelopes to politicians. Maybe your nightmare is a rogue general, hijacking the nuclear football. Maybe you think of a jackbooted thug leading a horde of men in white sheets, all carrying burning crosses.

Here is what you probably don’t imagine: an affable, self-made midwesterner, one of those goofy businessmen who makes his own infomercials. A recovered crack addict, no less, who laughs good-naturedly when jokes are made at his expense. A man who will talk to anyone willing to listen (and to many who aren’t). A philanthropist. A good boss. A patriot—or so he says—who may well be doing more damage to American democracy than anyone since Jefferson Davis.

I met Mike Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, in the recording studio that occupies the basement of Steve Bannon’s stately Capitol Hill townhouse, a few blocks from the Supreme Court—the same Supreme Court that will, according to Lindell, decide “9–0” in favor of reinstating Donald Trump to the presidency sometime in August, or possibly September. I made it through the entirety of the Trump presidency without once having to meet Bannon but here he was, recording his War Room podcast with Lindell. Bannon has been decomposing in front of our eyes for some years now, and I can report that this process continues to take its course. I walked in during a break and the two men immediately gestured to me to join the conversation, sit at the table with them, listen in on headphones. I demurred. “Anne Applebaum … hmm,” Bannon said. “Should’ve stuck to writing books. Gulag was a great book. How long did it take you to write it?”
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/07/mike-lindells-plot-destroy-america/619593/




Pillow fight! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But here’s the question on everyone’s mind who is watching from afar – is the pillow man a real danger to democracy, the future of the conservative party, or just a creepy weirdo who spends way too much time listening to conspiracy theories? We’re going to say the latter. Well the thing is despite gaining influence, he’s also considered an inherent danger to the United States and to the world at large.

One day in mid-May, after a rally in South Dakota to promote his new website, Mike Lindell, the pillow magnate and indefatigable election-conspiracy promoter, barreled into his company headquarters, sat himself down at a long table in a conference room he uses as a makeshift office and slid a dropper under his tongue.

The dropper was full of oleandrin, a plant extract that he touts—alarmingly, to scientists—as both a preventative and “miracle” cure for Covid-19. He squeezed.

“Look at this … I can never get the virus,” he said, near the beginning of the roughly six hours I spent with him over two days at MyPillow. “It’s impossible for me to get it.”

Lindell is 59, with the frenzied energy of an auctioneer, a lock of hair he alternately combs back or lets flop down in front of his forehead, and an assertive mustache that evokes a mid-1980s Mike Ditka. He speaks loudly and nonstop—“You need to listen,” he says—about oleandrin, in whose development Lindell has a business interest; about pillows; and about his absolute certainty that cyberattacks threw the November election to Joe Biden. Two assistants sat with us in his office, while MyPillow executives flowed in and out when he yelled for them, or waited to catch his attention from halfway through the door. He was often on his phone, in a series of conversations that at times could leave unclear who exactly he was speaking to.
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/06/15/mike-lindell-mypillow-trump-election-conspiracy-494302




Ok so how would you best describe Mike Lindell to someone who has never heard of this raving lunatic before? I’d describe him as the Harley Quinn to Trump’s Joker. I mean this guy couldn’t have his lips more firmly placed on Trump’s ass if they were superglued on. But the scary thing is that the Trump world just can’t help themselves with conspiracy theories. And the deeper you go, the nuttier they get, and right now they are very far off the deep end!

Did you know that Joe Biden is probably going to resign as president sometime in the next month? Maybe, specifically, on August 13? While that's totally ridiculous -- Biden isn't resigning and, in fact, all signs point to him running for a second term in 2024 -- talk of Biden resigning has taken off among some of former President Donald Trump's most prominent supporters of late.

Here's MyPillow founder Mike Lindell in an interview Monday with none other than Steve Bannon:

"Once we have this symposium, how are the pathways of Donald Trump coming back? The first one would be, once we have the symposium, by the night of the 12th or the morning of the 13th, if everyone has seen it, including the administration that's in there now that didn't win, maybe, you know, Biden and Harris would say, hey, we're here to protect the country and resign!"

Lindell is hosting a cyber-symposium that ends on August 12 aimed at looking into various debunked theories about election fraud. And yes, he is trying to pump up interest in said symposium with these outlandish claims.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/27/politics/donald-trump-joe-biden-mike-lindell-ronny-jackson/index.html




But good lord is this guy atrocious. Shit these guys live in bizarro fantasy land. But as the denial of the 2020 election gets weirder and weirder – here’s one place where Mike Lindell is not welcome and that’s Fox News. Man, how toxic do you have to get to be banned from that channel? I mean come on their most popular hosts are Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson if that tells you anything! But Mike Lindell might be going full Bender here and starting his own channel if his cyber symposium doesn’t get picked up by someone.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell suggested on Wednesday that God had orchestrated former President Donald Trump's removal from the White House so that the nation could see the "evil" of the election system.

In an interview on Real America's Voice, host Steve Bannon asked Lindell if his so-called "cyber symposium" to prove Trump won the election was "spiritual warfare."

"100%" Lindell agreed. "It's all come to a head this year, this last year. This is a spiritual battle of epic proportions. When we get through this, even non-believers, there's going to be so many people coming to Jesus. This will be the biggest revival in history because you're going to see miracles unfold."

"This is the battle we're in and all these pieces when we look back on, you're going to be able to look back and say, 'Wow, this all had to happen to get to where we're going to, this glorious place,'" he continued.
https://www.salon.com/2021/08/05/mike-lindell-says-battle-to-get-trump-back-in-white-house-spiritual-warfare-_partner/




[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

Next week we’re giving you a definitive guide to right wing social media! That’s right – all the trolls have started their own platforms!



Thank you San Diego! We’re off to Portland Oregon, next! See you next week!

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