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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFauci Says It Is Safe to Watch YouTube Now That Rand Paul Has Been Suspended
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)In a new health advisory, the nations leading epidemiologist, Dr. Anthony Fauci, said that it is perfectly safe for Americans to watch YouTube, following news that Senator Rand Paul had been suspended from the platform.
In the past, Ive warned about the health consequences of listening to Rand Paul, he said. People experience headaches and nausea. Sometimes, they feel like their brain cells are actually leaking straight out of their heads. Thats why Ive consistently urged people to limit their exposure to this guy.
Fauci said that, given Pauls suspension from the site, previous health advisories regarding YouTube no longer apply.
I think that this would be an excellent time for every American to enjoy YouTube, he said. Watch some funny cat videos, or maybe some kooky skateboard stunts that went awry. Rand Pauls suspended for only seven days, so watch as much YouTube as you can while its still safe.
Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/fauci-says-it-is-safe-to-watch-youtube-now-that-rand-paul-has-been-suspended
Photograph by Kevin Dietsch / UPI / Alamy
elleng
(131,300 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,601 posts)Duppers
(28,130 posts)sheshe2
(84,006 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(145,812 posts)UTUSN
(70,779 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,601 posts)Wounded Bear
(58,767 posts)Sgent
(5,857 posts)so much more for this being satire. I wouldn't have the composure especially since he cannot be hurt, worst case scenario he starts retirement two decades late, or more likely gets an office with a nice view at John's Hopkins, Georgetown, or hell shocks everyone and goes to Howard.
Rhiannon12866
(206,601 posts)But this has to have been the most stressful in his long and admirable career. He definitely deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but he was already awarded it in 2008 under George W. Bush*.
brer cat
(24,642 posts)Borowitz is always spot on.