Heartbroken.

[LuckyCharms]

Not depressed.

Not afraid.

But, heartbroken.

Like it did most people, the coup attempt hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm not speaking of only the violence.

I'm talking about the clown show that is comprised of these people who stormed the capital. I know three of the scumbags. I know they did not enter the building; they remained outside. If they had entered, I would have been on the phone with the FBI in a New York Minute.

I'm also talking about the anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, Covid deniers, and TFG supporters that are in so deep that no matter what ends up happening with TFG, they will double down on their support for him until their own deaths.

I'm heartbroken about the Red State governors who have appointed themselves executioners.

I'm heartbroken about the stance the Republican Senators and House Members have taken on every issue.

For the children who are going to die from policies made by monsters.

For people who die at the hands of police officers.

For police officers who are injured or killed at the hands of psychopaths.

For our 78 year old POTUS who is attempting to fix these messes after enduring untold emotional pain in his own life, while still exhibiting the highest degree of kindness and empathy. Much respect to you, President Joseph Robinette Biden.

I'm a big strong guy, that cries. I am a rock for more than a few people, that cries all of the time. Because I feel everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. I cry the most when I see a video that reminds me of the kindness and beauty still left in this world.

Like you. I'm tired. Exhausted. A shell.

I will not live long enough to see the bad people fade away, because if they do fade away, it will take DECADES.

They say you can't fix stupid. Fine, that's probably true.

But we are not dealing with stupid. We are dealing with evil.

Maybe I can open a facebook account and try to make a meme go viral that says "You Can't Fix Evil!". Ha. Ha. Ha. Yuk. Yuk. Yuk. Then I could count up my "like" emoji's.

Most of us will survive this. I will survive this.

I had hoped to do more than survive in my last 20 years or so.

As for the evil ones...Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em so hard.

Fuck 'em for the heartbreak they cause.

They will never know these feelings...because you need a heart to be heartbroken.

My brother died of Covid. Alone. Before the vaccines. Literally never saw the guy, but I miss him like hell. Funny how that works.

In spite of all this, keep looking for the beautiful things. Because they are out there. They're everywhere.

Goodnight.

[chia]

1. Sharing your pain. Sharing my love.

[alwaysinasnit]

2. ...

You have verbalized what so many of us here think and feel.

[wnylib]

15. +1000.

[yonder]

3. Thank you Mr. Charms.

You expressed what most of us here are feeling so well.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear LuckyCharms...

Oh how I hear you.

You have expressed the emotional states that so many of us live in.

Thank you!

[flotsam2]

5. I think this may be your best post.

And I've been reading you a long time. I have never seen your soul more closely or seen a better reflection of things I feel. Thanks!

[Wounded Bear]

6. All we can do is keep on keeping on...

[Blue Dawn]

7. I am right there with you.

Heartbroken.....that's the perfect word to describe how I feel.

Thank you for sharing that, LC. I am very moved.

[SimplyHadEnough]

8. Thank you

For your post LuckyCharms, the world is better for people like you. You touch my heart. Take care 🤗

[Moebym]

9. I know how you feel. n/t

[Hekate]

10. Right there with you: this is the dark night of the soul.Get some rest tonight. Be good to yourself...

Let us live to see better days.

[StarryNite]

11. Thank you for putting into words how so many of us feel.

Heartbroken in Arizona.

[pazzyanne]

12. Thank you for putting our feelings into words so succinctly!

I have struggled trying to find words to express what we are dealing with on a daily basis. Words fail me, but your words helped when you said, "But we are not dealing with stupid. We are dealing with evil." We can't fight stupid, but we can fight evil if we do not give up. Looking for the good and beautiful is hard, but so necessary if we are to defeat that evil!

[Silver Gaia]

13. You voiced what I feel.

I'm not a big strong guy. I'm a fierce little woman. But the rest of what you wrote, and did so with truth and passion, resonates deeply. As with many here, I feel what you feel. There is solidarity.. Your words brought tears and a sob of recognition. Thank you for voicing what I felt but could not find words to express. As always, I will continue to look for "the beautiful things." That is what keeps me going, what gives me a glimmer of hope. May We Walk in Beauty.

[Skittles]

14. I feel like a big percentage of Americans just don't believe in AMERICA

it has been very disturbing to witness

[Snackshack]

16. Thanks for the reminder

“keep looking for the beautiful things. Because they are out there. They're everywhere.”

[Hamlette]

17. for me it has turned to anxiety

something I have not had since I retired. My problem is I can't see an end game that ends peacefully. I'm really thinking civil war because we elected a mentally ill, weak man who awakened a bunch of crazy people in our society. I never thought there were so many of them.

[GPV]

18. *hugs*

[UpInArms]

19. (((((((hugs)))))))

My heart aches with yours, my friend

[denbot]

20. .

[malaise]

21. With good reason

Great OP LuckyCharms

[Scrivener7]

22. Yes.

[Nictuku]

23. I wish I could give you a meaningful hug

... I probably need one too. Your post brought tears for me, I feel the same way.

[Lars39]

24. Even if they remained outside there is a good chance

that they were still trespassing.
I seem to be rotating between anger, grief, and a self-preserving apathy these days.

[uponit7771]

25. Only 64% of democrats believe Voter Suppression is a problem (link) ***THIS IS HEARTBREAKING***

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/06/21/monmouth-poll-americans-back-both-early-voting-voter-id-requirements/7774904002/

At 64%, Democrats were more likely than Republicans, at 43%, or independents, at 42%, to express concern about voter disenfranchisement, reflecting a concern within the party about voter suppression after several cycles.

[robbob]

26. I stumbled across something on Instagram

Called goodnews_movement. They post stories from around the world about neighbours banding together, strangers rescuing people’s pets, anything that shows humans in the best possible light.

Let me tell you, it’s been a welcome relief from the barrage of doom and gloom, and stupidity and hatred emanating from RWNJ’s. There IS good in the world, we need to focus on that, and add to it.

[Probatim]

27. Thanks for posting this. It's how I've felt every day for the last year.

We don't have to be here - we could have this behind us except for the willfully ignorant and the trolls who manipulate them.

Fortunately for me, I've been able to work from home and my hobbies tend to be solitary. I run, ride my bike, birdwatch, kayak, hike, and fish. I spend as much time as possible outside and that keeps me away from most everyone. There's a lot of beauty you can't see from the couch.

I'm tired of trying to reach across the aisle and understanding their perspective and looking at my own faults before I point out theirs. We don't have to be here. It's time that gets pointed out to everyone you meet.

[bucolic_frolic]

28. Most of us overlap the OP monologue, we must air, cleanse, renew so we can fight onward

Our grievances are reality based. Don't know how that will play against QAnon and MAGApervs. But we will be stronger for having these dialogues. We have rights also. We must grab them while we can.

[FakeNoose]

29. Wow! Nicely written

Sorry you lost your brother.

My advice - for what it's worth - Facebook is a huge waste of time. But some people seem to get satisfaction out of it. I much prefer my friends on DU.

[panader0]

30. Damn Lucky, that was poignant.

Something inside me broke during the trump years, even before the covid hit.
The pandemic just increased the feeling. Many of us here feel as you have said in this OP.
I manage to find beauty. In nature, in music, in my loved ones. I seek that to help me
fix the broken parts inside.

[markie]

31. ...

it is so difficult to be an empath... but I wouldn't not want to be.. sometimes I feel that those of us are the only ones who can save the world; I just don't know how

[hamsterjill]

32. Truly. Heartbroken.

I cry about everything now. At the drop of a pin.

Because I think I understand just how much has been lost. How much potential existed at one tome for good. For progress. For change.

No longer any potential. We are reduced to simply trying to survive.

[PlanetBev]

33. I'm feeling the same way, guys

I’m riddled with anxiety.

At 70, I feel I’m living the same history over again, but way worse. This country takes one step forward and falls back three. The voter suppression tactics are killing me, as the increasing tribalism in America. Add climate change to that and you’ve got a seriously bad combo.

[Mickju]

34. I'm an old man,

and I'm right there with you. I feel exactly the same.

[Nevilledog]

35. Sometimes it's hard to find the beautiful things....

[llashram]

36. you are a real one

I'm trying to look at the upside of human existence, yet with all these people deluded by their fuhrer, it's getting harder and harder. I commiserate because I as you still feel a lot, emotionally. Stay strong.

[live love laugh]

37. This 👉🏽: "... it will take DECADES..." 😐😐😕☹️

[Lotus54]

38. Tears flowing while typing my response ((Hugs to you Lucky Charm!!))

I'm there with you, feeling your pain, anger, and disgust. Thank you for sharing the profound feeling of deep emotion regarding the state of affairs of our country. You eloquently shared what the majority are experiencing.

We certainly are in a state of darkness, my hopes and wishes, that we shall eventually see the beautiful bright light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps it is impossible to happen, but hope is what keeps me going!!

[calimary]

39. "...because you need a heart to be heartbroken."

WOW… the caption for this century, LuckyCharms.

Made me cry as I read it.

[CaptainTruth]

40. Hang in there, in the end it comes down to one choice...

Do we fight for what we love, or do we give up?

I'm never giving up, not as long as there is breath in my body.

[MLAA]

41. I hear you and send you love 💖💖💖💖

[MontanaMama]

42. Yes LuckyCharms.

Yes. I am with you 100%.

[llmart]

43. I can't possibly say it any better than you and others on here have already said.

It's how I feel all the time these days. I don't really show it outwardly, but I feel it. I don't recognize myself any more because I have spent a lifetime being the optimist, the smiling, cheerful, friendly one to everybody I meet. I just can't do that any longer. I chalked it up to age but I know that's not the whole of it. It's knowing that there are so many within our country who are mean-spirited and hate-filled.

I'm at a loss as to how to process it all. I so want to see it start to turn around. I think it's going to have to start with those of us who feel this way. We must not give up.

[Evolve Dammit]

44. That resonates with me. I feel almost exactly the same and lost family as well. Anger runs deep but

where we are exactly the same: "Because I feel everything. Every. Fucking. Thing." It hurts to hear about people everywhere just trying to fucking survive with evil fucks denying them the right to exist. Thanks for a great post.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

45. Eloquent.

My emotional state has been anxiety, aside from when I can shut down and distract myself from reality.

[Joinfortmill]

46. And goodnight to you.

[locks]

47. Just what I needed Lucky Charms

Realizing that I don't really have much hope at the end of my life and there are others that cannot be "positive" as my daughter and some friends would like me to be. Heartbroken but still want to stay on; maybe that is hope or a small sense of gratitude for being born, even in this sad world.

[McKim]

48. With You Since 1968.

I am with you since 1968! Getting that feeling again that I want to immigrate. But family has always kept me here and still does. My ashes are going to Spain, at least I will make it out of here someday!!!! Sometimes its an abusive relationship with my home country! What will help me make it through I decided to have someone over for a distanced outdoor dinner several times a week and will buy another patio heater to make it possible. We can only survive spiritually in community. I will never put up with the isolation of last year!