Tucker Willing To Judge Them Swollen Balls For Himself

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.wonkette.com/tucker-willing-to-judge-them-swollen-balls-for-himself

Tucker Carlson is not content to simply speak of Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles, which due to the COVID vaccine allegedly grew bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until they were the biggest testicles in the world, at which point Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's fiancee was like "No, those balls are TOO BIG," and thereby immediately Goldilocks-ed herself into a different wedding bed, one with more appropriately sized testicles.

This is journalism, and you don't start talking about such an important story without being willing to do the followup necessary, being willing to reach under the hood (SO TO SPEAK) and jiggle around (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID) people's opposing claims, to figure out what the real story is. Tucker is a journalist.

First of all, Tucker apologizes, because apparently he accidentally suggested the other night that it was Nicki Minaj's cousin's testicles what were hanging so low, when in actuality it's Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles. This is Tucker issuing a correction.

TUCKER: We suggested that Nicki Minaj's cousin is the one with the swollen testicles in Trinidad. And we were wrong and we want to admit it. We henceforth correct the record. Nicki Minaj's cousin's testicles are not swollen. As far as we know, he's fine. It's Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles that are swollen from taking the vax, that's the claim.

Now we feel bad for writing that mean post about how much Tucker lies, when here he is just factchecking his own Nicki Minaj cousin friend testicle mistakes instead of waiting for others to call them out.

*snip*

[genxlib]

1. I feel sorry for that dude

He was just trying to pull a private scam on his fiancé

Next thing he knows, Minaj has outed him to the world and he is the butt of jokes throughout the twitterverse.

[Nevilledog]

9. Trinidad & Tobago had to address a claim about Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls

Link to tweet

[Zorro]

2. Evan Hurst is always fun to read

So are the comments on his articles.

[IrishAfricanAmerican]

3. I understand he's getting treatment at this place...

[Nevilledog]

4. South Park was prescient......lol

Link to tweet

[MineralMan]

5. What do you suppose the odds are that we wouldn't have heard

about swollen testicles as a side-effect of the COVID-19 vaccine? Such a side-effect would be impossible to cover up, so it would have been reported almost as soon as the vaccine began to be administered.

Minaj is flat-out lying about this, or someone lied to her.

Nonsense!

[Nevilledog]

7. I think the general consensus is the dude blamed getting an STD on the vaccine

Girlfriend didn't buy it and canceled wedding.

[11 Bravo]

6. Having no testicles of his own, Tuckum's fascination with another man's engorged nutsack ...

is at least somewhat understandable.

[Jerry2144]

8. They probably are swollen looking

To him when he compares the size of his “man” hood. Like BBs compared to BB-8!