SpaceX Under Fire After Autonomous Rocket Hits Pedestrian

[Zorro]

AUSTIN, TX—Calling it a terrible tragedy that could and should have easily been avoided, investigators slammed SpaceX Thursday after an autonomous rocket veered off course and struck a pedestrian.

“At approximately 11 a.m. CST, a SpaceX Falcon9 rocket launched itself into traffic at 17,000 mph, hitting and subsequently killing a man who was crossing the street,” read a statement from the National Transportation Safety Board, adding that despite being programmed with the latest self-guiding software, the rocket entered traffic, ignored several red lights, and failed to disengage several high-speed booster rockets at the time of impact.

“After striking and killing the pedestrian, the spaceship continued to accelerate, until it ultimately flew off of a cliff and collided with a tree, creating an enormous mushroom cloud visible from the entire city. Sadly, until we can enter the several hundred foot crater and find the rocket’s data logs, we may never know what truly happened.”

At press time, SpaceX responded that while they were sorry for the loss of life, they were proud that no cars were harmed in the accident.

https://www.theonion.com/spacex-under-fire-after-autonomous-rocket-hits-pedestri-1847946787

[malaise]

1. ROFL

Musk said the pedestrian was in the way of his journey to Mars

[malaise]

2. ROFL

Musk said the pedestrian was in the way of his journey to Mars

[PoliticAverse]

3. Followup: SpaceX announced they released a patch and it shouldn't happen again. n/t

[Goonch]

4. Rocket was ment to self destruct on launch pad

[Bayard]

5. SpaceX kills a man who was crossing the street with a rocket

Is that a claim insurance would pay, or is that considered an act of god?

And they were proud it didn't hit any cars?!

[Ka-Dinh Oy]

6. What do you expect when you have a bunch of people

working for a program named by trump? I am sorry that man got killed by massive negligence.

[Devil Child]

7. Its a satirical onion article.

No one was harmed or killed in the making of this piece.

[Hav]

8. I was wondering whether that reply was satire in a satire thread

because I wasn't aware that SpaceX was named by Trump.

[Ka-Dinh Oy]

9. Oops, forgot to check who wrote that.

Well, as you know there are Onion type things that have actually happened so who knows sometimes.

[miyazaki]

10. Ya but did the victim look both ways before crossing the street?