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Peacetrain

(22,876 posts)
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 11:59 AM Oct 2021

I am just tired to the bone.. tired of it all..

I have finally just run out of caring about anything anymore.. My mother passed away a few weeks ago.. I am so tired of fighting with people about COVID and how dangerous it is to the elderly.. she did not die from COVID.. but making sure people who were not vaccinated or masked from coming around her was a full time job!

I am just tired of nothing ever being enough.. I am tired of politicians and the rest of us who vote for them, I am tired of being attacked for being a Christian.. I do not attack people for their beliefs or non beliefs. but apparently it can be a full out attack on me.. that is apparently okay..

I am tired of the all the people who think they are President.. from all the political levels.. I am tired of everything. It has been a month of hell.. and I am hurt.

And because I cannot tell the people closest to me that I have nothing left to give.. It kind of helped just writing it down..

104 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I am just tired to the bone.. tired of it all.. (Original Post) Peacetrain Oct 2021 OP
I feel for you. I think many of us have reached exhaustion level. Hope things get brighter for you Walleye Oct 2021 #1
I find myself using the word "exhausted" a lot lately PatSeg Oct 2021 #8
The only thing that helps me is going out for a walk. Now cold weather is coming I don't know what Walleye Oct 2021 #12
I go outside whenever I can PatSeg Oct 2021 #40
I am sometimes immersed in British murder mysteries Walleye Oct 2021 #46
You too? PatSeg Oct 2021 #47
So true. American crime dramas are nothing but cliches, mostly. No decent writing or storyline Walleye Oct 2021 #48
Yes, there are very few Masterpiece programs PatSeg Oct 2021 #51
Yes, I am addicted xxqqqzme Nov 2021 #88
Oh you would love Acorn and/or BritBox PatSeg Nov 2021 #98
yes this. panchobarnz Nov 2021 #78
Welcome to DU! PatSeg Nov 2021 #97
Who is attacking you for being a Christian? leftstreet Oct 2021 #2
Hey, I'm an Atheist and got multigraincracker Oct 2021 #4
Can't Atheists fight over exactly WHICH god(s) they don't believe in? JustABozoOnThisBus Oct 2021 #45
So I'm learning. multigraincracker Oct 2021 #60
We believe in no god or gods, so by definition there is nothing to fight over in terms of selective Celerity Oct 2021 #76
Ummmm ... soldierant Nov 2021 #77
Calling it a metaphor is now starting to invent a different religion, as you are playing Celerity Nov 2021 #80
I'm interested in that also. ret5hd Oct 2021 #14
I'm not religious, but Christianity is frequently attacked here at DU. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #19
I'll "attack" any Abrahamic Monotheism, maxsolomon Oct 2021 #21
Why are you "attacking" Abrahamic Monotheism? ECL213 Oct 2021 #26
I generally don't "attack", but I will discuss the things you mention. maxsolomon Oct 2021 #30
Agreed... ECL213 Oct 2021 #54
I've seen the odd comment here and there... ShazzieB Nov 2021 #79
Where??? I have not seen that either...Where is this coming from? Escurumbele Oct 2021 #31
I've been a member here a long time. BlackSkimmer Nov 2021 #102
I don't identify as "christian" so not sensitive to this, but think the attacks are on Evangelicals. lark Nov 2021 #99
It is not usually a "you stupid Christian" attack. Jakes Progress Oct 2021 #22
See, that's the problem right there. Act_of_Reparation Nov 2021 #95
You lack theological basics. Jakes Progress Nov 2021 #103
When we are stressed, we tend to think in absolutes. vanlassie Oct 2021 #27
I wish your first paragraph in particular could be beamed into the psyche of everyone on Facebook renate Oct 2021 #34
I was immersed in this coursework for several years before vanlassie Oct 2021 #43
more words of wisdom! renate Oct 2021 #69
I learned thru a now 40 year old program called More To Life. vanlassie Oct 2021 #72
You forgot something sarisataka Oct 2021 #58
It is continual, even here. ForgedCrank Oct 2021 #66
Should I presume that was a rhetorical question? Fortinbras Armstrong Nov 2021 #96
It's very hard to get past those feeling. multigraincracker Oct 2021 #3
I am with you... Pachamama Oct 2021 #5
Just accept you as you malaise Oct 2021 #6
(((((hugs))))) 2 Meow Momma Oct 2021 #7
Being a full or partial caretaker is a physically and LuckyCharms Oct 2021 #9
So sorry about your mom and all, Peacetrain. Hortensis Oct 2021 #10
so sorry about your mother's passing... stillcool Oct 2021 #11
I am sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a family member recently but other friends & colleagues hlthe2b Oct 2021 #13
I'm so sorry. redwitch Oct 2021 #15
Hang in there and sorry for your loss kimbutgar Oct 2021 #16
Many of us are going through this also.... and yes, it helps to share with DU.. secondwind Oct 2021 #17
I'm sorry. Mickju Oct 2021 #18
You're grieving. It will get better. maxsolomon Oct 2021 #20
Glad we left childfreebychoice Oct 2021 #23
You are not alone. Not at all. CrispyQ Oct 2021 #24
A little blessing KatK Oct 2021 #25
Who is attacking you for being a Christian???? I have seen the opposite...where is that happening? Escurumbele Oct 2021 #28
Why the badgering and harsh words? MerryBlooms Oct 2021 #73
With you. ancianita Oct 2021 #29
I hope you will be gentle with yourself, BlueSky3 Oct 2021 #32
Many of us are exhausted and with good reason. But , here is where I found hope today. BarbD Oct 2021 #33
I'm so sorry for your loss, & feeling despondent. I can relate. CaptainTruth Oct 2021 #35
It's stressful times for sure BlueJac Oct 2021 #36
Writing it down is an excellent idea. calimary Oct 2021 #37
Many here share your feelings tiredtoo Oct 2021 #38
My deepest sympathy to you, Peacetrain! I'm very sorry your mother passed. I know how you feel LaMouffette Oct 2021 #39
Sorry about your mother. Jetheels Oct 2021 #41
Oh, I'm so sorry cally Oct 2021 #42
You are in deep grief. Stay away from GD for awhile & explore the wealth of other groups here... Hekate Oct 2021 #44
Just get vaccinated and let natural selection do it's work. roamer65 Oct 2021 #49
Forgot to add this... Hekate Oct 2021 #50
Hugs to you MustLoveBeagles Oct 2021 #52
Been there. Texaswitchy Oct 2021 #53
We have politics every day of the year now unfortunately. pwb Oct 2021 #55
You're not alone ymetca Oct 2021 #56
I think a lot of us are dangerously close to burning out FakeNoose Oct 2021 #57
Sending you hugs MLAA Oct 2021 #59
Wish I could give you I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2021 #61
Panther, I'm so sorry. hamsterjill Oct 2021 #64
Thanks I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2021 #71
So sorry about your mom. Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #67
She was my best friend too I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2021 #70
Oh, Panther, I'm so sorry Bettie Nov 2021 #94
oh markie Oct 2021 #62
You need a hug! lunatica Oct 2021 #63
Amazing Underconcern For Elderly Safety From Covid FrankTC Oct 2021 #65
I'm really sorry for your loss. Yes, writing does help, ecstatic Oct 2021 #68
My deepest condolences, Peacetrain. MerryBlooms Oct 2021 #74
This message was self-deleted by its author BannonsLiver Oct 2021 #75
This is one of my favorite songs for when everything looks like crap. ShazzieB Nov 2021 #81
Grief cate94 Nov 2021 #82
Sorry about the loss of your Mom Sherman A1 Nov 2021 #83
I'm too tired to read all these comments Roy Rolling Nov 2021 #84
But I try to wake up early Roy Rolling Nov 2021 #85
And Lastly Roy Rolling Nov 2021 #86
i feel ya. eggplant Nov 2021 #87
Sorry about your loss. Buckeye_Democrat Nov 2021 #89
Sorry for your loss Just_Vote_Dem Nov 2021 #90
Breathe.... Karma13612 Nov 2021 #91
Sending you a hug. Joinfortmill Nov 2021 #92
Peacetrain I am so sorry for your loss. bronxiteforever Nov 2021 #93
I am so very sorry for your loss drexelkathy Nov 2021 #100
Upside down world TFRD Nov 2021 #101
sorry to hear that... myohmy2 Nov 2021 #104

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
8. I find myself using the word "exhausted" a lot lately
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:22 PM
Oct 2021

Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted and there doesn't seem to be any break in sight. I don't want to be angry and appalled all the time, but I don't want to be apathetic either. I watch very little cable news these days and though that helps somewhat, the realities are still out there and I cannot ignore them.

Walleye

(31,022 posts)
12. The only thing that helps me is going out for a walk. Now cold weather is coming I don't know what
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:32 PM
Oct 2021

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
40. I go outside whenever I can
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:52 PM
Oct 2021

but the weather this year has been full of extremes. Meanwhile, I read more books and watch movies and TV that have nothing to do with current events or politics. Fantasy and science fiction really seem to help. I understand why a feel-good show like Ted Lasso has been so popular. It was both funny and uplifting.

Walleye

(31,022 posts)
46. I am sometimes immersed in British murder mysteries
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 04:09 PM
Oct 2021

Not watching the news anymore. And I canceled the cable news channels years ago. It’s a full-time job staying away from this shit though

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
47. You too?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 04:34 PM
Oct 2021

I watch a lot of British crime dramas. I recently signed up for Acorn and Britbox and I often watch them more than regular TV, Netflix, or HBO. The Brits tend to do TV so much better than the U.S. Acorn has a new season of Manhunt with Martin Clunes that I am looking forward to. The two streaming services combined cost me less than Netflix, which I rarely watch anymore these days. I am long time Netflix user, but I am thinking of canceling it.



Walleye

(31,022 posts)
48. So true. American crime dramas are nothing but cliches, mostly. No decent writing or storyline
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 04:38 PM
Oct 2021

Have you seen a British political drama, I think on Masterpiece, called “Roadkill”? I started watching it Then it disappeared

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
51. Yes, there are very few Masterpiece programs
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 04:51 PM
Oct 2021

that I haven't seen. It was pretty good. I love Hugh Laurie and it was one of the last things that Helen McCrory did before she died. She was an excellent ambitious Prime Minister.

xxqqqzme

(14,887 posts)
88. Yes, I am addicted
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 06:42 AM
Nov 2021

to Endeavour, crushed Unforgotten has ended, warming up to the new Grantchester. Every other week I zoom with 3 friends and have recruited them to the Masterpiece mysteries. (Working to shutdown the Newsom recall exhausted all of us.) I told a friend my new favorite word is 'tiresome'.

My all time Masterpiece mystery favorite is Foyle's War. That's the one that got me hooked

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
98. Oh you would love Acorn and/or BritBox
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 09:23 AM
Nov 2021

Most of the shows are that kind of programming. A whole lot to binge-watch. Acorn is only $4.99 a month and BritBox is $5.99. I'm thinking of just getting an annual subscription, which makes it even cheaper.

By the way, Foyle's War is on Acorn and there is a new series with Martin Clunes called Manhunt and the 2nd season just became available. Line of Duty is on BritBox and it is ranked as one of the "best cop shows of all time" as well as the "best British crime drama of all time".

I know what you mean about Grantchester. It really isn't the same without James Norton, but I really like Robson Green so I hang in there to see him.

JustABozoOnThisBus

(23,340 posts)
45. Can't Atheists fight over exactly WHICH god(s) they don't believe in?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 03:39 PM
Oct 2021

Peace can be just so annoying after a while.

Celerity

(43,360 posts)
76. We believe in no god or gods, so by definition there is nothing to fight over in terms of selective
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 11:09 PM
Oct 2021

god disbelief.

fight over exactly WHICH god(s) they don't believe in


THAT is literally what believers and many, if not most, religions do, to the detriment of humankind.

The vast majority of Americans follow a religion in which its god tortures (for ETERNITY) all who refuse to believe in said god.

And people wonder why there are so many foundationally bad outcomes in a society dominated by people who not only have that as a core tenant of their religion, but also practise an active willing suspension of disbelief in order to adhere to that religion (and to be fair that willing suspension of disbelief is universally necessary for any and all believers in a god or gods, further exacerbating it on a global scale).

soldierant

(6,873 posts)
77. Ummmm ...
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 12:14 AM
Nov 2021

"The vast majority of Americans follow a religion in which its god tortures (for ETERNITY) all who refuse to believe in said god."

Not exactly. Many of us consider that a metaphor.

We believ that people who do not believe in god go into an eternity where god is not, as their choice. That would be torture for me, hence the metaphor of torture.. It probably wouldn't be torture for most people who might end there.

But I would go so far as to say that most Christians believe that anyone who does not "go to heavern" - whatever that may mean - don't go there because they have chosen not to, not because anyone sent them.

Celerity

(43,360 posts)
80. Calling it a metaphor is now starting to invent a different religion, as you are playing
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 12:52 AM
Nov 2021

chop and change, pick and choose at your whim. Plus it still involves the willing suspension of disbelief, as it still conceives of a god.

But enough said on all this from my end, I am not here to change anyone's mind, just state my own beliefs, or lack thereof.

 

BlackSkimmer

(51,308 posts)
19. I'm not religious, but Christianity is frequently attacked here at DU.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:52 PM
Oct 2021

Try it with any other religion though…

maxsolomon

(33,345 posts)
21. I'll "attack" any Abrahamic Monotheism,
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:59 PM
Oct 2021

but Christianity is "attacked" more frequently on DU because it is dominant in the US, and has come to be represented in the minds of many by it's most regressive variants.

I recently did a project for an order of Catholic Nuns, and I have very little issue with their Christianity, as it focuses on the message of Jesus and good works.

ECL213

(212 posts)
26. Why are you "attacking" Abrahamic Monotheism?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:12 PM
Oct 2021

If you want to attack the way some people bastardize and distort their religion to use it as a cudgel against those with whom they disagree, by all means, go ahead. To just say "I'll 'attack' any Abrahamic Monotheism", though, just makes you kind of a wank.

maxsolomon

(33,345 posts)
30. I generally don't "attack", but I will discuss the things you mention.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:19 PM
Oct 2021

I put "attack" in quotes because I don't believe that most DU discussions around Christianity are attacks on the faith, per se.

Oh, and "Welcome to DU".



ECL213

(212 posts)
54. Agreed...
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 05:13 PM
Oct 2021

I'm sure it's probably happened, but I've never seen anyone on DU attack a religion, just the way some a$$holes practice their professed religion.

ShazzieB

(16,396 posts)
79. I've seen the odd comment here and there...
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 12:47 AM
Nov 2021

...to the effect of religion in general being responsible for everything that's wrong with the world. I usually just roll my eyes and move on to the next post.

I'm not seeing a ton of these comments, but I have seen them. They annoy me, because I feel such a stance is a vast oversimplification of what religion is and is not, and because it's unfair, in my opinion, to tar every person who is not an avowed atheist with the same brush.

If that sort of thing was more widespread here at DU, I would definitely not be a happy camper. Fortunately, it's not.

Escurumbele

(3,392 posts)
31. Where??? I have not seen that either...Where is this coming from?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:22 PM
Oct 2021

Is Christmas also being attacked at DU??? Where is this coming from? I have never seen anyone attack Christians for the sake of it.

Could it be that those who think Christianity is being attacked are confusing the criticism of republicans who claim to be Christians but behave contrary to what they preach?

I don't care for any religion, but I don't criticize people for believing whatever they want to believe, and that is what I see at DU as well.

 

BlackSkimmer

(51,308 posts)
102. I've been a member here a long time.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 01:39 PM
Nov 2021

I’ve seen the Bible attacked, Jesus Christ attacked, those who believe in Christianity attacked.

Posts that do this against any other religion don’t fare well.

I’m not religious, so I don’t take it personally…I just can’t help noticing the double standard in regards to religions.

lark

(23,099 posts)
99. I don't identify as "christian" so not sensitive to this, but think the attacks are on Evangelicals.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 09:26 AM
Nov 2021

Evangelicals are in general a special type of Christian that wants to PUSH their worldview on you and that is generally a very right wing and conservative attitude. That's what is attacked the most often and for good reason. Christians that follow the teachings of Jesus about caring for the poor & loving your neighbor & welcoming the stranger are not part of the problem.

Jakes Progress

(11,122 posts)
22. It is not usually a "you stupid Christian" attack.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:04 PM
Oct 2021

It runs more to generic attacks on those who believe. When one idiot who says he is Christian does something stupid in the news, DU often piles on with a lot of "so what do you expect of those kinds of people". If you do that for other faiths, or atheists, you get fittingly chastised.

Don't try saying this doesn't mean all people of faith. You know it happens.

The truth is the stupid thing the idiot in the news does often proves he/she is not Christian at all.

Martin Luther King was a Christian. As is Hillary Clinton. Their faith is a large part of what makes them progressive.

Act_of_Reparation

(9,116 posts)
95. See, that's the problem right there.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 08:29 AM
Nov 2021

Last edited Mon Nov 1, 2021, 11:56 AM - Edit history (1)

The truth is the stupid thing the idiot in the news does often proves he/she is not Christian at all.


No, it doesn't prove that. Not even remotely. It's disingenuous, and insulting to non-Christians.

I can only speak in anecdotes, but I rarely see people attacked on DU simply for proclaiming a certain faith. I do see them attacked for microagressions like the one demonstrated above.

Jakes Progress

(11,122 posts)
103. You lack theological basics.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 06:51 PM
Nov 2021

That's okay. If you don't believe in something, it is normal to not know anything about it.

vanlassie

(5,670 posts)
27. When we are stressed, we tend to think in absolutes.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:12 PM
Oct 2021

This matters, because our thoughts seem true, at the time, with the result that we respond as if they ARE true.
Asking “Is it true that….” can help a lot.
“Is it true that I am being attacked for being a Christian?” The answer is one of three things.
TRUE. (In which case there is verifiable data to prove it.) FALSE, or I DON’T KNOW.

Next is the most important step. TELL THE TRUTH about the matter.
Maybe it would look like “I don’t like the way Christianity is being talked about these days.”
AND finally…. What do I choose to do about this?
It is not necessary to actually DO something. You might chose to do nothing. That’s a choice.

renate

(13,776 posts)
34. I wish your first paragraph in particular could be beamed into the psyche of everyone on Facebook
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:39 PM
Oct 2021

And Twitter etc. Wise words.

vanlassie

(5,670 posts)
43. I was immersed in this coursework for several years before
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:59 PM
Oct 2021

it hit me that Making A Choice is how we gain control of our life.
This is not to imply that depression isn’t very real. But our thinking always needs monitoring, because we lie to ourselves a lot. Out of stress.

vanlassie

(5,670 posts)
72. I learned thru a now 40 year old program called More To Life.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 09:59 PM
Oct 2021

It is an offshoot of EST. Not religion. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
MoreToLife.org

ForgedCrank

(1,781 posts)
66. It is continual, even here.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 09:11 PM
Oct 2021

Just yesterday or the day before there was a flow chart posted here mocking religions.
I find it distasteful and rude, and not something I would expect to see here as much as I do.

Fortinbras Armstrong

(4,473 posts)
96. Should I presume that was a rhetorical question?
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 08:30 AM
Nov 2021

Go to the Religion forum on DU, and you will see statements such as

I have long held that religious belief is delusional, and that persistent delusions are not the hallmark of mental health. That's not an insult. It's an observation. It is no more insulting than noting that eating disorders are unhealthy. It's a simple statement of fact. It might or might not be erroneous-- but that is not the same thing as "pejorative."


https://upload.democraticunderground.com/1218114774#post103

This poster is clearly saying that religious belief is a sign of mental illness. It is a common belief among DU atheists.

I was told by a moderator of that forum that saying, "This is atheistic bigotry" is worse than the original bigoted statement. Now, if I had said, "being a woman is a sign of mental disease", I would have been pilloried and rightly so. But saying "being a Christian is a sign of mental disease" is just fine.

multigraincracker

(32,677 posts)
3. It's very hard to get past those feeling.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:10 PM
Oct 2021

Not unusual to have them, many of us do. I've found out that time, takes time. Please try to remember that "this too shall pass".

Best of luck and if they don't go away, you may need to talk to a professional. Nothing at all wrong with seeking help.

malaise

(268,998 posts)
6. Just accept you as you
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:15 PM
Oct 2021

Fight sis - don't give up.
Truthfully I think you are in deep mourning, as you should be with your mother's death.

LuckyCharms

(17,426 posts)
9. Being a full or partial caretaker is a physically and
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:25 PM
Oct 2021

mentally draining activity. We generally tend to ignore our own well being while taking care of others. It is now time for you to honor your mother by thriving, by taking care of yourself again. This is what she would want for you.

Carry internal happiness within you, because you looked after your mom. That is something to be forever proud of.

You do not need to defend your religion to anyone. Everyone has different religious beliefs, and some have no religious beliefs. No one walks in your shoes, and you walk in no one's shoes. Embrace your faith. It belongs to you, and no one else.

None of us can individually control political activities very much, but we can vote. Vote and encourage other to do the same. Support campaigns that you are aligned with.

Do not depend on other people to help you with your grief, because as I rudely found out, they don't really help anyway. Sometimes "your friends" turn out to be "your acquaintances", and your family turns out to be "people I am related to".

The upside to all of this is this is you have scaled some steep and difficult walls. You have taken the right road. You have done what needed to be done. Be quietly proud of that. Be quietly proud of your beliefs, and most of all, love yourself. If you do this, you will be the happiest you have ever been.

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
10. So sorry about your mom and all, Peacetrain.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:29 PM
Oct 2021

My impression is that political forums can be really bad for emotional health, and often are. Also potentially toxic to political understanding. Nothing's lost by skipping months of this stuff. Just a suggestion, of course, but DU has plenty of happy places to meet friends while avoiding what's become way too much.

Btw, imo believers in all religious denominations should be protected from attack under the no bigotry/insensistivity rule, no exceptions. Of course? Christianity needs to be explicitly listed along with others to stop the attacks. A lot more DUers than those assertive enough to mention it must be hurt and offended, and wondering, that a forum where liberal Democrats gather is not a safe place for all.

Stay cool.

stillcool

(32,626 posts)
11. so sorry about your mother's passing...
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:31 PM
Oct 2021

that loss changes your whole world. It can't not. Maybe you just need to be kind to yourself. I'm in a bad way, and nothing at all has changed in my life. Sometimes I have to walk away and deal with what 'is' in my life. So much beauty out there if I can just open my eyes and look. I hope you find some peace, just for you. Close the door to the outside world and be with what is.

hlthe2b

(102,276 posts)
13. I am sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a family member recently but other friends & colleagues
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:35 PM
Oct 2021

But beyond that, I share your feelings of exhaustion--about just about everything. I spent hours last night downloading some of my favorite music so that I can take a break from tv punditry and what passes for "news" now. I voted in my local election and I've done some calling for VA, but I'm taking a much-needed break. I'm not apathetic. But yes, I too am "tired of it all."

redwitch

(14,944 posts)
15. I'm so sorry.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:37 PM
Oct 2021

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. Everything feels exhausting when we mourn but during this awful time it feels so much worse. Love and light to you. 💔

kimbutgar

(21,148 posts)
16. Hang in there and sorry for your loss
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:43 PM
Oct 2021

We live in such trying times now and it can be so overwhelming !

But know you’re not alone and your DU friends are here to support you!

secondwind

(16,903 posts)
17. Many of us are going through this also.... and yes, it helps to share with DU..
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:48 PM
Oct 2021

Hang in there, I expect some good stuff coming out of the White House in the next few weeks!!!

maxsolomon

(33,345 posts)
20. You're grieving. It will get better.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 12:54 PM
Oct 2021

Loss is never easy, and the Pandemic has made it doubly hard.

Go outside and spend time in the sun.

Sorry if you feel attacked for being Christian; sometimes I wish I had the certainty of faith.

childfreebychoice

(476 posts)
23. Glad we left
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:04 PM
Oct 2021

When pres Obama was elected, hubby and I are excelerated our expat/retirement plans. We fought for voting, civil, housing, and abortion rights. It looks as though we poc r losing ground, going backwards. Got a lot of pushback fr friends, when we left, now we r bombarded with calls emails about how we did it. Being a caregiver is emotionally and physically draining, take care of yourself

CrispyQ

(36,464 posts)
24. You are not alone. Not at all.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:07 PM
Oct 2021

I think we're all sort of shell shocked at the level of discourse in the country today. I'm having a really hard time with the people I know who still identify as republicans. I just don't see how kind & decent people can vote for republicans. This includes some people I care for. WTF? How do they not see the depravity of the current republican party's policies?

Is there anyway you can day or two, just for yourself? Do the little things that please you, or do nothing at all, but make some time just for you. My sympathies on the death of your mother.

KatK

(185 posts)
25. A little blessing
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:10 PM
Oct 2021

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.

So many of us are feeling exhausted, hurt, demoralized and just plain down.

May you find the little healing moments that guide you return to center, to loving yourself, and to finding ease, joy and a sense of connection to self, others, the world, and spirit.

Escurumbele

(3,392 posts)
28. Who is attacking you for being a Christian???? I have seen the opposite...where is that happening?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:18 PM
Oct 2021

I can understand being tired of other things, like those fighting against masks, republicans doing their stuff and getting away with it, trump still free after so much evidence is out there against him, Democrats not fighting hard enough, etc., but being attacked for being a Christian???

Have you seen the attacks against Muslims, Jews, Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Atheists, etc.??? I have seen plenty of that, but attack on Christians?

Please tell us where the attack against Christians is happening? Is it Fox News? Nope...they are attacking everyone in the name of Christians...republicans? nope, they are like Fox News...Anyway, I am sorry you are being attacked because of your faith, but it would be nice to know where that is happening.

MerryBlooms

(11,769 posts)
73. Why the badgering and harsh words?
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 10:34 PM
Oct 2021

You're speaking to someone in enormouse grief. You say you're sorry, but the tone of your post says otherwise, and actually, reinforces the OP's feeling of being attacked for her Christianity.


ancianita

(36,055 posts)
29. With you.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:19 PM
Oct 2021

So sorry this month's been a soul wearying time. A change of scenery might help, anywhere there's big sky and quiet peace in Nature might be a balm. Don't talk or answer to anyone. Just take a break and rest.

BlueSky3

(512 posts)
32. I hope you will be gentle with yourself,
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:27 PM
Oct 2021

Peacetrain. You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations, even your own. Grief is a tangled process, in my experience. It took me about three years to get over each of my parents' deaths, and over 30 years later I still dream about them.

So please take your time. Keep a journal to process feelings. I hope you can find a grief support group. I believe they really help, and you have to take care of yourself now.

It's like the instructions they give parents on planes: in the event the air masks drop down, put yours on first. You can't help anyone else if you're in dire need yourself.

BarbD

(1,192 posts)
33. Many of us are exhausted and with good reason. But , here is where I found hope today.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:34 PM
Oct 2021

At 83, I'm the oldest member of the choir. I don't believe in God, but the church where I sing has a huge umbrella and welcomes everyone The members of the congregation are very socially active believing in loving our neighbors like ourselves.

Today we celebrated that our church is among a consortium of local synagogues, mosques and churches sponsoring Afghan refugee families.

We walk the talk. Singing together -- although we are all vaccinated, but still wear masks -- gives us all a feeling of peace.

CaptainTruth

(6,591 posts)
35. I'm so sorry for your loss, & feeling despondent. I can relate.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 01:47 PM
Oct 2021

My advice is to be good to yourself, do whatever you need to do to take care of YOU. It can help to get away from the everyday, even if it's just a few hours in a nearby park. Whatever helps you recover emotionally.

And hang in there, this too shall pass.

calimary

(81,265 posts)
37. Writing it down is an excellent idea.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:27 PM
Oct 2021

It sets things out, separately from you, so you can look at them dispassionately, and analyze and reflect and either dismiss or edit or otherwise clarify. Seems to me it allows for some room for objectivity.

And it sure-as-shootin’ gives you room for some perspective.

Not only that, but writing it down HERE invites support, further comment, and further thought.

tiredtoo

(2,949 posts)
38. Many here share your feelings
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:29 PM
Oct 2021

We must not let it create apathy amongst ourselves. Take a little break, relax with your personal pleasure thing. Then come back with a vengeance to bring karma to those who have abused us.

LaMouffette

(2,030 posts)
39. My deepest sympathy to you, Peacetrain! I'm very sorry your mother passed. I know how you feel
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:42 PM
Oct 2021

because last week my mother-in-law passed, too. Thank GOD it wasn't Covid. She hated TFG with a white hot passion, and it would have infuriated her to eternity to die from the Trump Virus. But we're still devastated by her loss.

I understand your tiredness, too. It's been almost two years now of trying to survive Covid and almost six years of dealing with T***p and six years of dealing with our country being torn apart by T***p's enablers in Congress and right-wing media and his brainwashed cult members.

There seems to be no end to this. But life can change on a dime. As long as we are living and breathing, there is hope. And remember: we outnumber them. There is strength in numbers.

All the best to you, Peacetrain, and please take care of yourself!

 

Jetheels

(991 posts)
41. Sorry about your mother.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:56 PM
Oct 2021

I lost mine 2 years ago.
Unbeknownst to me, my mother was the connection between myself and the rest of the family.
With her now gone all my relatives have disappeared.
They have their own lives, and I’m not part of it any longer since the one thing we had in common is gone.
Maybe take time to appreciate how much your mother benefitted from you looking out for her, and take a break from the news if possible. It can be an addiction. A friend of mine calls it tragedy porn.

cally

(21,593 posts)
42. Oh, I'm so sorry
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 02:59 PM
Oct 2021

I’ve been there. I share the absolute fury, anger, and just exhaustion about folks not getting vaccine and wearing masks. Just had a discussion about holiday plans, and not inviting those not vaccinated or careful.

But, I do know the absolute exhaustion that comes with grief after my Mom died. I wasn’t sure I could go on or if I ever would want to. I slowly got better. Still, occasionally grieve but it not so intense. Some of the steps I took may help you. I took advantage of free grief counseling through hospice. In my area, it is free for everyone even if you didn’t use hospice. Also, I got a daily email called griefshare. It’s from a Christian perspective and helped me.

I also understand what it’s like to be attacked for your beliefs. I share your faith and politics. It is sometimes difficult for my liberal friends to understand that I can be a Christian and progressive.

Hekate

(90,685 posts)
44. You are in deep grief. Stay away from GD for awhile & explore the wealth of other groups here...
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 03:22 PM
Oct 2021

There are a village full of them. Once I stumbled into a cooking/baking group & rediscovered someone I had thought to have quit, he’d been gone so long. There’s a grief group as well. A village — or rather, the other side of this village.

Just leave out the toxicity of politics, because you are deeply wounded and deeply exhausted — and all that will still be here later on, I assure you.

For what it’s worth, this floated into my mind late last night. I think it was because I was thinking of someone dear to me, who I don’t know if I’ll get to see again. I’m not angry, just bereft of a valued relationship.

This meditation is on being gentle with yourself when you are in intractable spiritual/psychological pain.

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Putting the Little Pain to Sleep
Thich Nhat Hanh

The rain is falling softly.
I listen deeply to the sorrow within myself.
Please go to sleep, my dear little pain.
Let me embrace you tenderly, & let my in-breath & out-breath
continue to lull you to sleep.
Day & night I water the seeds
of compassion & forgiveness,
so that tomorrow
the flowers of joy can bloom.
Go to sleep, my little knots;
tomorrow there will be a transformation
& we shall be able
to help love to be reborn again.

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

roamer65

(36,745 posts)
49. Just get vaccinated and let natural selection do it's work.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 04:38 PM
Oct 2021

I could care less if the unvaccinated adults survive. They are making a choice.

As for you, peacetrain.

Texaswitchy

(2,962 posts)
53. Been there.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 05:07 PM
Oct 2021

There was a time dealing with parents I was just toast.

Nothing left.

Get help if you need it.

pwb

(11,265 posts)
55. We have politics every day of the year now unfortunately.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 05:30 PM
Oct 2021

I liked it when a campaign lasted a month or two then we all moved on to let the people we elected do their job. This every day talk of politics from cable and cable funded C-Span needs to be noticed more. Cable companies telling people what to think is working on too many.

ymetca

(1,182 posts)
56. You're not alone
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 05:31 PM
Oct 2021

Mother-in-law lived with us for ten years as she declined in health, finally succumbing to a variety of medical problems, but getting Covid while in the hospital was what finally did her in. We're all the walking wounded these days.

Wife and I still find ourselves going in her room to check on her, and realizing again she's gone.

Lately, I keep humming in my head a phrase from an old James Taylor song:

We have seen it before
In times of great sorrow
That human compassion will flow from a well
That has long run dry


FakeNoose

(32,639 posts)
57. I think a lot of us are dangerously close to burning out
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 05:50 PM
Oct 2021

I've reached the point where I can't even have my TV on during the day. I still hear the news shows at night, but I need to limit the time on those too. I try to watch movies, go for walks, play with my dog, read books. I'm more escapist now than ever in my life. I don't want to be this way forever, but I need to preserve my sanity.

Hugs to you, Peacetrain! Try not to think too much.

Realize that part of this is because you're still grieving the loss of your Mom. Don't try to rush it, grieving is an important time and only you will know when that time is over.

I_UndergroundPanther

(12,470 posts)
61. Wish I could give you
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 07:10 PM
Oct 2021

A

I put my mom in the ground Tuesday and yeah it hurts.

So just so you know,I care that you are in pain.

I_UndergroundPanther

(12,470 posts)
70. She was my best friend too
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 09:39 PM
Oct 2021

She was my advocate,my ally and
She was a joy.

She died a year ago in 2020. She was creamated and I decorated her urn.

I am so thankful she wasn't alive to see covid.

Growing up near ground zero for polio left scars in her mind.

She'd get so scared when I got sick.
She took good care of me,but I could sense her anxiety. If she had to deal with covid, she would have lost her mind.

Been having memories come up and getting emotional reactions,anxiety,all those "wonderful" dissociative and ptsd symptoms.

FrankTC

(210 posts)
65. Amazing Underconcern For Elderly Safety From Covid
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 08:27 PM
Oct 2021

I’ve seen it often — people carelessly inclined to expose the sick or elderly to COVID risk. They just don’t get that it could be a death sentence. Sometimes it’s insensitivity in the name of inclusion or connection — “You should come to Johnny’s birthday party,” or, “I’ll be over with a pot of chicken soup.” Meanwhile your doctor has told you that there’s no way you’d survive a brush with Covid, and don’t let anyone outside your pod within 25 feet of you. Frustrating nonchalance. But it’s not malice, usually. BTW clinical depression often shows up as fatigue and shut-down. And I agree that not all Christians are bad people — learned that a long time ago. You just can’t blanket judge.

MerryBlooms

(11,769 posts)
74. My deepest condolences, Peacetrain.
Sun Oct 31, 2021, 10:46 PM
Oct 2021

I understand. I am so sorry your heart is broken.

I pray that you will have peace of mind and heart this night. I pray you will have a good night's sleep and wake with renewal and peace. I pray tomorrow's steps will be lighter and your heart less heavy. Amen

Response to Peacetrain (Original post)

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
83. Sorry about the loss of your Mom
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 05:08 AM
Nov 2021

Been through it several years ago and never a fun time.

As to what is said here or elsewhere about anything else you mentioned. I find that comments are about 120% opinion, with some occasional facts or news sprinkled in and opinions are like a certain body part, everyone has one……

Take care….

Roy Rolling

(6,917 posts)
84. I'm too tired to read all these comments
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 06:01 AM
Nov 2021

Just saying, this song was on my playlist all last week.

I feel your pain.


Roy Rolling

(6,917 posts)
86. And Lastly
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 06:07 AM
Nov 2021

I’m a hopeful guy, so this is on my playlist now, too.

“And though you may be stronger now, my time will come around. You keep adding to my numbers as you shoot my people down”. Genius.



eggplant

(3,911 posts)
87. i feel ya.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 06:26 AM
Nov 2021

I've been awake for hours staring into the dark cloud that is the future. I have no idea how I'll navigate it. Peace.

Buckeye_Democrat

(14,853 posts)
89. Sorry about your loss.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 07:47 AM
Nov 2021

Being a caregiver for a parent can be totally exhausting, so try to focus on yourself for awhile and you'll probably recharge over time.

As for attacks on Christians, of course that's going to be seen at DU. White evangelical Christians gave Trump over 80% of their votes, and they also voted in greater numbers than their percentage within this country. Without them, both Clinton and Biden would've won the "white vote" too!

It's fine that religion gives you comfort, I presume, but it's not evidence-based. So it's not really fair to others to communicate to them in that way.

Evidence protects EVERYONE. Imagine if our legal system wasn't based on it. It's bad enough that some jurors ignore evidence in their decisions, but it would be even worse if the system wasn't rooted in evidence at all. So someone goes to prison because of how some chicken bones landed in a pattern on the floor?

bronxiteforever

(9,287 posts)
93. Peacetrain I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 08:25 AM
Nov 2021

Rest up, find some peace for yourself and be renewed. This veil of tears breaks us for a time but joy and light will find you again.

drexelkathy

(118 posts)
100. I am so very sorry for your loss
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 09:37 AM
Nov 2021

I can empathize with so much of what you are feeling. I lost my Mom at the end of August...after being her care giver for over 3 years and having her living with us.

And, at least for me, part of the exhaustion I'm feeling...is grief and just not having the energy to get through other the other nonsense.

Please though let the people closest to you in real life understand your grief and where you are right now.

They can help unburden your load. They can give you the comfort you need.

Many hugs. Losing a parent is incredibly difficult. I've now buried both of mine within the span of 6 years and it has stolen so much joy from my life losing them. I'm trying to push forward because I have a son that is turning 6, but grief can be the thief of joy.


TFRD

(205 posts)
101. Upside down world
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 10:22 AM
Nov 2021

Think of this as the upside down world and how much better it will be when everything flips back to the other side; I promise it will change your perspective.

You can't get to where you are going until you finish walking the path you are on. 🤗

1+1=1

myohmy2

(3,163 posts)
104. sorry to hear that...
Mon Nov 1, 2021, 07:29 PM
Nov 2021

...but I'll make up for you, I feel great...

...contrary to crap corporate polls, I think things are generally heading down the right track in the right direction...

...I'm optimistic for our collective future, why?

...YOUNG PEOPLE...

...the young people I know are smart, resourceful, Progressive, aware, strong and resilient ...they're willing to get involved, they're wiling to fight...they haven't bought into or accepted the standard corporate exceptionalism bullshit...

...I'm not young but I 'care' more than ever...I 'care' for our posterity...we will solve all our major problems when we push the old greedy entrenched self-interests out of our collective way...and we shall, we must...

...I won't be around to see or share in that future or vision, but I still 'care'...I have to 'care'

...hope you find peace...

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