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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI also come from a line of catholic rabbits.
I come from a long line of rabbitsby crahnke
My father was the youngest of eleven, my mother the youngest of ten. We are a fertile bunch. Mother claimed to have strained my oldest sister through two kinds of birth control that were available back in 1946. When I was five, she forged my fathers signature in order to get a hysterectomy so she could stop getting pregnant, back when women had no authority over their own bodies.
In Idaho at seventeen, I learned firsthand that the rhythm method didnt work very well on rabbits, after the sperm donor disappeared into the navy. I became an early adopter of quinine sulfate on the advice of a waitress I worked with, nights and weekends my senior year of high school. No, not hydroxychloroquine, but the natural antimalarial, also touted as a possible abortifacient. It could be purchased over the counter at any pharmacy, even though it raised pharmacists eyebrows. Two months of doses high enough to make me dizzy and I miscarried after my waitress night shift the week before high school graduation. Whether the quinine sulfate had anything to do with it is not known. Abortion was illegal in Idaho in 1969.
In Colorado at eighteen, I got my first birth control pills. In Hawaii at nineteen, it became clear that I needed very high hormone doses to regulate my cycle. IUDs had just become available, and I happily got in line. And then that Dalkon Shield fell out into my hand at an inopportune moment, so I got a Lippes Loop.
I finally settled into a relationship with a nice guy. He had been raised Catholic, with all the guilt about sex that may (or may not) confer, so he justified intimacy to himself by talking about how he wanted us to have kids someday. At 22, midway through undergraduate work, Lippes let me down and I was pregnant again. And the nice guy said, Well, I didnt mean NOW! Abortion was legal in Hawaii and I didnt need anyone to sign for me.
We got married when I was 24. I was back on birth control pills at the high hormone levels I required for regulation, and continued to wait for my husband to decide whether he actually wanted kids. I was ambivalent, fairly certain that the world had quite enough representation from my familys gene pool. With no such commitment to children forthcoming, I started graduate school. And waited. At 29, I finally said enough and had a tubal ligation. I did not need my husbands signature in Hawaii to be sterilized, even though taking control of my reproduction ended the marriage. I awoke in recovery with three other women - well, two teenagers and one woman older than me. The teens had abortions, I was a tubal ligation and the woman was hoping to find out if she could try again after her most recent miscarriage. No sense of justice in that recovery room; the only one of us who wanted children couldnt keep one, and the rest of us were doing what we could to not have a child.
Women who dont want children should be able to not have children without having to seek permission from the patriarchy to stop the machinery. If you didnt come equipped with the parts to incubate human babies, you should not get to vote on the regulation and deployment of those parts. Go raise actual rabbits.
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/12/6/2067924/-I-come-from-a-long-line-of-rabbits?utm_campaign=trending#comment_82404755
Thomas Hurt
(13,903 posts)and the population of Catholics up to respectable levels.
liberalla
(9,260 posts)3Hotdogs
(12,408 posts)Don't worry about keeping the pews full.
Just send in the amount of money they would have donated if they had been born and you will be ok.
cilla4progress
(24,766 posts)thanks for sharing, kpete
captain queeg
(10,242 posts)Lots of catholic families had more. I grew up in Amish country and those guys got us beat. But looking at society, women didnt really participate in the work force and lots of other stuff till birth control became widely available. Who knows, once the RW kills abortions their next step might be birth control.
EYESORE 9001
(25,980 posts)After the birth of her one and only child, a medical condition required sterilization. Family and parish treated her as a pariah for quite awhile. I wanted to tell em all to FOAD.
packman
(16,296 posts)Ohio Joe
(21,761 posts)childfreebychoice
(476 posts)After talking to psychiatrist was able to get abortion. Four yrs later, different birth control failed, got another abortion. Hubby and I never wanted kids, but back then, I couldn't get tubal, and he couldn't get vasectomy. I went out of the country for tubal, and few yrs later he got vasectomy. I am not a kid person, worse parts of nursing, then med school were labor and delivery/peds rotation. We paid for our nieces and nephews college, that weren't covered by scholarships, so they have no student debt
Back then, none of our friends were child-free, but I am happy to say, most of our young friend r childfree by choice. I just can't imagine bring forced to cont unwanted preg. Married 50 yrs, and now retired out of the country. It is useless to say it, but hrc tried to warned us.
Delphinus
(11,840 posts)were able to live your life the way you wanted. Isn't that the "American dream"?
StClone
(11,686 posts)My mother was not a self-fertilizing Goddess. Yet, she was always pregnant. And it was not about knowing better. Mom followed her Catholic doctrine, fulfilled her "role" and was not a victim, I guess.
But I know she was also conflicted: She loved each and every one of us. However, I know in moments of rare passionate displeasure with my father, one statement I heard more than once that struck me was, "All I get is a royal screwing."
It was not until I was well in my teens when that statement made me ponder. She was committed to my father and to her children but felt once she was well in deep that she had no say in what happened to her desires as a person other than fragments of time and energy.
She lived to an active 96 and did cherish all her grand kids, great-grand kids and overall had a pretty good life. Doubt she would change anything, but when challenged she did think frankly that fairness was not part of the equation of her life, of her religion, or of her dreams.
MineralMan
(146,331 posts)The population explosion was the reason. The birth control pill was just then available. I made my decision clear to every woman I got involved with. A few couldn't deal with it and that ended the relationship. However, I've been married twice to women who did agree with that decision. And so, there were no pregnancies in my life. Contraception works, if you use it intelligently and stick to your guns.
So, now, I'm 76 years old and have succeeded with my pledge not to add to the population count. I don't regret that decision one bit. In fact, I'm even more convinced that it was a good idea as time goes by and the global population continues to increase. Global climate changes adds to my conviction that I was right.
My current marriage is 30 years in duration as of this month. We're happy as a couple, and remain best friends and are still in love. That is what matters to me.
No regrets.
Both men and women can decide not to reproduce. It's not for everyone, but it can work if there is complete agreement on it.
malaise
(269,157 posts)Rec
The Jungle 1
(4,552 posts)Fuck um.
FakeNoose
(32,748 posts)Those of us who were raised Catholic - and I include myself in this number - we all can and should be pro-choice. A woman may choose motherhood for herself, or she may not, but she's making her own decision.
To say that "my religion forbids your choice or anyone else's choice" is anti-American. My religion (or philosophy or whatever) is for me only, it doesn't dictate to you or any other person. I can't believe we're having to fight this all over again in 2021.
Thanks for posting!
calimary
(81,467 posts)Catholic here, but I had a career and a marriage and loved em both. And I wanted to enjoy husband and partnership, AND a series of better and better gigs.
For various reasons personal and professional, age 35 arrived and I changed my mind on ruling out motherhood. Thought we might as well start trying while I still had some time. No intention of going through a long and arduous Patty Frustaci thing (I remember reading that she was so desperate to have more babies that she went to fertility-treatment extremes).
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/16/obituaries/patricia-frustaci-63-dies-septuplets-put-her-in-spotlight.html
But then, I couldnt believe how fast it happened, and not once but twice.
I kept working, even after the second baby came, but not for too much longer. I gave up on trying to serve two masters (career and motherhood). I knew I couldnt do excellent full time work at both, and end up doing a half-assed job at both - at best. Besides, after being screwed over, lied to, betrayed, threatened, and getting my heart broken and hopes dashed after something that started out as a dream job and then went straight to Hell, I thought it was time to get out.
Id done some seriously great things and broken several glass ceilings. But I soon realized I had two other little seriously great things at home who might just be FAR better to have spent my best years on (and with).
And neither of them has broken my heart.
3catwoman3
(24,045 posts)...of 5. Only one maternal aunt did not reproduce. He has so many cousins he can't keep track of them all.
My husband is the oldest of 4. His mom had some miscarriages before he was born, and more after his first sister came along. Hubby could have been one of 9 at least.
All of my husband's sisters married, but none had children. I have no idea why, and it's the kind of thing you don't ask about.
Texaswitchy
(2,962 posts)My Grandpa one of 18.
My mother had over 100 first cousins.
Catholic.
ShazzieB
(16,513 posts)I have read so many horror stories about that particular iud causing double the normal risk of pelvic inflammatory disease, a severe infection that can lead to damage to the reproductive organs, sepsis (blood poisoning), infertility or sterility, miscarriage (especially the potentially lethal mid-pregnancy septic abortion), even death within 48 hours of the first flu-like symptoms. It was finally pulled off the market, but it didn't happen soon enough.
So as inconvenient as it probably seemed at the time, having that thing fall out might have been a blessing in disguise.
IronLionZion
(45,528 posts)Yup, my Dad is one of 8 kids. Mom is one of 5. I have 0 kids (that I know of) and don't want any.
left-of-center2012
(34,195 posts)I have sympathy for the women who are kept pregnant year after year for 10 or 11 years
PoindexterOglethorpe
(25,897 posts)Personally, I always wanted children and had two sons. Would have loved a daughter, but didn't have one.
Having children should absolutely be a choice, mainly the woman's.
Danmel
(4,924 posts)I come from a short line of Eastern European Jews.
My mom was one of 2 kids. My dad had 2 sisters and a brother. He had the misfortune of being a Jewish man born in 1918 in Poland. One of his sisters died in childhood, one was killed in Auschwitz and he and his brother survived the Holocaust. No one in our family had more than 3 kids. I have 2, a married daughter and an engaged son and neither one of them want kids.so I'll just have to settle for grand 🐶 and 😸.
colorado_ufo
(5,737 posts)housecat
(3,121 posts)Texaswitchy
(2,962 posts)The oldest ones were married already when the the youngest came along.
Another Grandmother was the youngest of 20.
Hekate
(90,793 posts)I think my mother and her friends must have gotten pregnant via every known form of contraception available to them. One even famously got pregnant after a tubal ligation.
Most women, when given an actual choice in the matter, will choose to limit the size of their families according to personal circumstances. Women are moral agents. Women are not stupid cattle.
Response to kpete (Original post)
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