Well--it happened. Someone I know well just died from COVID

[crimycarny]

A soccer mom who I know fairly well just died from COVID after getting sick 8 days ago. Her daughter was a couple of years old than my daughter and she would train my daughter from time to time. I would talk to the mom on the sidelines, or we'd be together at soccer parties. A wonderful lady full of optimism and a strong influence on her kids to always be kind yet strong as well (stick up for yourself).

She and her husband were childhood sweethearts. Her husband must be absolutely devasted. She was the glue of the family. Has 2 other children as well so she's leaving behind a husband and 3 kids.

She wasn't vaccinated. It wasn't due to politics, she was afraid. She had read some of the disinformation out there and believed it. Now she's gone.

Another friend had just been texting her 2 days ago. She said she was in the ICU because "they want to get control of my cough".

I am beyond shock. Only 49. Again, extremely kind and caring woman without a mean bone in her body. She was just afraid, now she's gone.

[iemanja]

1. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Walleye]

2. I hate this disease! And I hate the disease of disinformation

[erronis]

27. THEY don't care. THEY don't give-a-shit if you are left or right wing. THEY want the US hobbled.

The numskulls we all see demonstrating and threatening and destroying are just toys to THEM. Those poor slobs will not get their expected just rewards in any heaven concocted by THEM.

[Ocelot II]

3. That's so sad. I am so furious at the politicians, tv personalities and social media influencers

who cynically spread disinformation to further their own agendas, and cause people like your friend to be afraid of a simple, free procedure that could save their lives. Those liars should fry in Hell.

[maxsolomon]

4. Condolences. I think most everyone knows a victim now.

I'll refrain from commenting on your friend's choices.

[dewsgirl]

8. I don't think I know anyone that doesn't know someone that has died of

Covid, unfortunately.😔

[PasadenaTrudy]

22. I don't

I only know two people who have had it.

[ShazzieB]

38. Same here.

A guy at my husband's work died of covid late last year, but its a big company, and my husband barely knew him. That's as close as I've come to personally knowing a covid casualty. My BIL had it back in 2020, but he came through it okay.

[BigmanPigman]

49. Me too.

I only know of two people in the extended family and friends who had it. One in FL who had the J&J vax but no booster. She still has it. The other is a teacher in a private school in NY that wanted to stay open before the vaxxes were developed. She still has long haul symptoms.

I made the plumber wear an N95 before he came into my apt today and I am trying to be as isolated as possible. I HATE being sick!

[mgardener]

25. I know 3

[crimycarny]

9. She was genuinely afraid of the vaccine

She was not anti-vax, she was just terrified of the COVID vaccine because she believed all the disinformation. Everyone else in her family was vaxxed. Not a Trump supporter either.

I can't judge her since I know her, know the type of person she was, and know that she was simply a victim of the disinformation people who make $$$ selling fear.

Ugh...other than the COVID vaccine she was an extremely bright woman.

[maxsolomon]

18. I got that.

It's sad, and it serves no purpose to say more.

[leighbythesea2]

46. My sister

Is terrified of the vaccine. Because she has MS. A bigger factor is her dads side of family suffered from OCD and anxiety. (Half sis)
So, her OCD has manifested into a few things. Medicine, being one. I couldn't get her to take pepto for a stomach ache in her 20s. She wont take ibuprofen, no matter the pain.

Picking a MS injectable was enormous.

She's not a trumper. She tells me all the time, it's fear. Her employer is requiring by mid Feb. I will feel better then.

Her dads side also had sort of bad luck, healthwise. It just coalesced into a fear of what truly is necessary & in her best interest.
I WILL say, she masks & distances & hand sanitizers like its her personal Olympic sport.
The disinformation is bad. But sometimes personal challenges can compound.
So sorry to hear of this. That poor family.

[crimycarny]

48. Thank you for this

Your description of your sister sheds light on different reasons that some remain unvaccinated. There is a tendency to paint everyone with the same broad brush as selfish, Trumpists, ignorant...what have you. But not everyone who isn't vaxxed is that way. Some are truly TERRIFIED due to things like OCD, or a medical condition like MS.

I never want to get to the point where I lose my humanity and think "good riddance" to anyone who dies unvaccinated...assuming haughtily that they had it coming to them. There are many, maybe even the majority, who remain unvaccinated for selfish reasons. But that's not everyone and we need to understand that. If we do, we might be able to gently remove the fears of those who are truly terrified and persuade them to be vaccinated. But if we turn away with disgust, they'll never change their mind.

[leighbythesea2]

67. Right

Your post, especially the part about seeing her at soccer, I felt that. My sister is at every sporting event. (& shes glad they are outside). Effectively a soccer mom.

I've tried gently, over and over to be convincing with her. Things like "covid makes vaccinated people sick, but by large margin protects them from dying".
She listens, and understands the science. But will say "you know taking things, i struggle..." & " theres the possibilty of a flare"...(& of course we've had so many convos about OCD, in general).
All I can say is she had a less than 5% chance of getting MS, but did. How do you convince someone with OCD, then, that they won't be the 1% that reacts to a vaccine? Getting MS actually solidified some of her long held fears. And she understands this! Thats the ironic power of it tho.

So yeah, for now I don't assume all unvaccinated are far right. The proportion of those getting really sick IS unvaxxed, and so many ARE dug in, that they won't get the vaccine. Those folks, convincing them seems daunting, and almost impossible.

[whathehell]

52. You've said that her decision "wasn't political", that it was "fear"

but isn't that "fear," being stoked by the Political Right?...I guess I'm not sure where the two things diverge.

[crimycarny]

57. She wasn't basing her decision on Trump

Before COVID, before Trump, there have always been anti-vaxxers who spread disinformation. Now some Trumpers and far-right have jumped on that bandwagon but with different motives. When I say my friend's decision wasn't based on politics I mean that she wasn't avoiding the vaccine because she was some sort of Trump supporter. She couldn't stand the guy. She simply had an irrational fear of the COVID vaccine.

Since I posted this I learned that she was slowly overcoming her fears and had promised her family she would get vaccinated before the end of this month. Then it was too late...

[whathehell]

61. I think I understand now.

Yes, the anti-vaxxers have been around for awhile. She does sound like a great person -- I'm sorry for your loss.

.

[Liberal In Texas]

5. I'm starting to think that these people posting this disinformation about the vaccines

should be charged with murder. Because that's exactly what they're doing. Murdering people.

[crimycarny]

12. I agree!!!

I keep switching between grief and RAGE. I'm just so ANGRY at those who will peddle disinformation for $$$ (more followers, etc).

I was wondering why the hospital didn't try monoclonal antibodies but turns out that once you are oxygen-dependent they won't give monoclonal antibodies to you because clinical trials showed that giving monoclonal antibodies at that point can actually make a patients condition worse.

https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/coronavirus-covid-19-update-fda-authorizes-monoclonal-antibodies-treatment-covid-19

[relayerbob]

17. Yes, many, if not most of the treatments only work if adminsitered very early

And with Omicron replicating so fast in the body, the time window is very short

[relayerbob]

15. Yep, 1000% agreed

Murder. Period.

[LoisB]

6. I am sorry for your loss. It is too bad she believed the lies out there.

[dewsgirl]

7. I'm so sorry.

She sounds like she was very good person.

[onecaliberal]

10. The people being allowed to lie about the vaccine should be dealt with.

[relayerbob]

14. 1000% agreed

[Butterflylady]

32. They should be held for murder.

[onecaliberal]

54. I agree

[Lucinda]

11. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[relayerbob]

13. Sorry to hear that

>2,200 died yesterday, and that's not counting the ones soms states are lying about. Such a tragic situation.

[crimycarny]

16. So I learned something new today--monoclonal antibodies not approved for hospital use

By "hospital use" that means once you are oxygen-dependent you can't be given monoclonal antibodies. The FDA EAU prohibits this because in clinical trials those on oxygen sometimes showed worse clinical outcomes if given monoclonal antibodies.

https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/coronavirus-covid-19-update-fda-authorizes-monoclonal-antibodies-treatment-covid-19

So DeathSantis miracle "alternative" to the vaccine only works if given before you have to go to the hospital.

[Initech]

26. Yeah my brother said that it's a load of bullshit.

And yet people come into his emergency room and request it anyway, even though they have zero clue what they are talking about. He's also had people request the horse paste. It's truly insane what disinformation is doing to people.

[krkaufman]

39. DeathSantis

The DeathSantis “treatment” alternative is made all the more painfully ironic by his failure to establish a strong testing regime in order to get COVID+ cases identified as soon as possible, to ensure treatment can be administered.

[crimycarny]

44. True!

I hadn't even thought of the lack of a robust testing infrastructure in Florida. Since it's so critical that you be tested early in order for monoclonal antibodies to work, it's absolutely crucial there is easy and quick access to testing. For DeathSantis to push monoclonal antibodies while not spending the money to set up robust testing... that's absolutely criminal.

Great point!

[uponit7771]

62. Ah, I have a friend from young ago who aren't giving the MA either. damn ...

[Tickle]

19. It baffles me how all variants

of covid effect us all in different ways. I have covid and so does my 9 year old granddaughter. We have the same symptoms, sore throat, hoarse sinus pressure and headache. TBH i am doing better than she is. The same germ (I assume) hits us and treats us differently. Then I read crimycarny post and a 49 year old just died from something that is so minor to me. I must have missed a chemistry class...

[crimycarny]

20. Yes! It's like Russian Roulette--particularly if unvaxxed!

I'm SOOOOOOO grateful for the COVID vaccine. I'm vaxxed and boosted and can't imagine walking around unvaxxed! It truly is Russian Roulette to do so.

[Tickle]

21. so am I

curious was your friend?

[Fla Dem]

33. No. As stated in the original text.......

She wasn't vaccinated. It wasn't due to politics, she was afraid. She had read some of the disinformation out there and believed it. Now she's gone.

[Tickle]

36. I'm sorry

I don’t understand some people. I did hear all kinds of things I was nervous so I went to my doctor and asked lots of questions before I got that first shot. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[krkaufman]

41. Key diff...

“something that is so minor to me”

I suspect the key diff b/w you and the now deceased 49-year-old is that you’re vaccinated and she wasn’t. No guarantee that that was the difference maker, but probability would say it is.

Similarly, was your granddaughter vaxxed and boosted?

[Tickle]

47. No

She’s 9 and it’s not my business 👩‍💼 so I’ve been told. She’s pulling through like a champ

[Maru Kitteh]

69. Ugh. Sorry to say it's a real chance your GD's parents bought into the "infertility"

bullshit. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[OMGWTF]

23. Misinformed. The Republican party is a death cult.

I know three people who have died from COVID. One was a 30something mom of three; the other was my cousin, and my friend's mom. Four of my five grandkids had COVID, including a 15-month old baby. They're fine, we hope.

[crimycarny]

37. Well--you do you

In the meantime, the last thing I want to do is lose my empathy and paint everyone with the same broad brush. Some people have irrational fears and phobias, thus are more susceptible to disinformation that feed into their phobias.

This woman was a powerhouse for community outreach. Her main message to her children was to always give back, which they did and still do. She and her husband came to this country with nothing. They built up a successful business with a local chain of restaurants and made sure to give back to their community who helped make them successful. Donated food to homeless shelters, gave jobs to those who were recently homeless, traveled to poor countries to build housing.

She was just AFRAID. So if you have "no fucks left to give" then maybe don't comment on this thread.

[mommymarine2003]

28. This virus is so frightening.

So sorry for the loss of your friend. I heard from my youngest child this morning that both he and his wife have COVID. They both have had their boosters, so they are doing okay. My son is an asthmatic, so it still scares me. Their kids, ages 5 and 7, both tested negative. My son is not a firefighter but works for the Seattle Fire Department. There are dozens of firefighters out with the virus. My daughter is currently under quarantine. She is in a hospital-type facility, and the person who gave her her medication on Tuesday has COVID. She has not had her booster and is in fragile health, so it worries me, too. This pandemic seems to want to go on forever.

[crimycarny]

42. Yes, it IS frightening!

My daughter is asthmatic as well so I get the fear. She's vaxxed and boosted so I hold onto that for comfort.

I hope your daughter fares well. From all I'm reading since she's vaxxed she should be, even though not boosted. But it's still a scary thing to go through.

[DemUnleashed]

29. Really sorry...

Really sorry about the loss of your friend because she sounds like a wonderful person (not like the other unvaccinated crazies!)

She was just a victim of disinformation. I bet she was the type of person who wore a mask wherever she went. Not like the crazy unvaccinated Trumplicans who go everywhere without a mask (except when they participate in an insurrection...that's when they're perfectly fine wearing a mask)!

[crimycarny]

40. Yes, she was very careful to wear her mask

And her whole family was vaxxed and boosted. She just had an irrational fear about the COVID vaccine for whatever reason. Seemed sure that she would be the one who had a bad reaction and--as irrational as it may seem to those without that phobia--was worried she might die from it.

I remember being afraid of the MMR vaccine for my kids. This was at the height of the MMR=autism misinformation. I remember being up nights worrying about whether or not I should give my child the MMR vaccine. I didn't want to leave them vulnerable to measle, mumps, or rubella but what sort of mom was I if I gave my kids a vaccine that was "known" to increase the risk of autism (I say "known" because that was the hysteria at the time).

But I had a kind person who didn't judge me for my fears and helped to talk me through them. They told me there was an option to split the MMR into 3 separate shots so that's what I did. Ultimately I know I would have had my child vaccinated anyway, considering the risk of the disease was worse than the risk of autism, but I would have been watching my kid for every sign of an issue, wringing my hands wondering if I had done the right thing. I'll always be grateful for that person who listened to me and didn't sit in judgment.

[patphil]

30. I consider willful disinformation spread about the Covid virus to be akin to physical assault.

I know it's hard to prove intent, but there are some who are in that category.
Certain members of the news media, elected officials, and church leaders who spread disinformation are suspect.
They spread their lies, and people die. Sometimes they also die, but not often enough.

[TeamProg]

31. Really sad. Stay masked up, hand sanitizer, vaxxed and boosted.

Avoid crowds, parties, etc.

I do miss going out to dinner and hosting poker games, though.

[crimycarny]

60. She following all of those rules--except vaccination

She was simply terrified of the COVID vaccine. It's irrational to most of us but it was very real to her. The sad thing is I just learned she had promised her family as her New Year's resolution she would get vaccinated by the end of the month. Her daughter was going to go with her for moral support. But, sadly, it was too late.

[TeamProg]

66. I hate / afraid of needles ( that they might not be sterile), but we all have to get vaccinated.

[wendyb-NC]

34. That's so sad

Such a tragic loss, sorry for the loss her family must feel, along you and others who knew her.
49 is way too young to die.

Those who spread the lies about Covid 19 vaccines, misleading others, influencing others to avoid getting vaccinated are criminals.

[The Wizard]

35. When those deliberately disseminating false information

get sued into poverty we will have fewer tragedies such as the one you cited.

[moriah]

43. There really aren't words. I'm so sorry.

I've felt so lucky, considering I know so many anti-vaxxers, that I haven't yet lost one from COVID for sure.

I'd already lost the friendship of one of my mother's best friends because she kept spamming me with vacccine disinformation, and I learned she passed away. Have no idea how or what from, but since her elderly antivax father was still alive and the obit said she died at home, presuming not COVID. She had a lot of lung problems and was already on nighttime oxygen -- it very well could have been that it wasn't programmed properly or she was retaining too much CO2. At least, I hope it was in her sleep.

A friend's boosted 90+ grandma got Omicron while in the hospital for followup after a fall. They say she's asymptomatic, but her daughter hadn't been able to speak to her mother for a week now, let alone see her.

A friend who I'm sure would have gotten the shot if her husband wasn't such a Trumper got Delta and didn't have to be in the hospital, but now her doctors are saying she definitely has enough lung damage to be considered to have moderate to severe COPD/pulmonary fibrosis (they don't know what to call the damage right now). She's refusing extra oxygen until she is a full year out, she says, even though she's playing games with her brain by doing so -- though she is not, as of yet, retaining CO2 (it's presenting more like emphysema, she's losing weight because she's suddenly having to work so much harder to breathe).

-------

Myself, I've spent nearly two years at home trying to manage my own lung conditions and not get into any petri dishes I could avoid -- and as a result may have farked myself over a little bit because with this last exacerbation I really could have used the services/support of a hospital for a night or two. I mean, I lived through it, but I'm just now at the tail end of the longest Prednisone taper I've ever had to do and am still not breathing at my normal.

I'm boosted, I mask, my preexisting agoraphobia now seems logical and I'm gonna have to work on it extra-hard once this is all over..... and as a result it's gonna take a blood test in a month to know if it *was* Omicron presenting as a crud cuz I was boosted, the non-COVID, non-flu crud that got to my sister and her husband (they were able to get out to get tested, also boosted), or just my lungs being themselves (my doctor's running diagnosis). Our reported active cases are double what they were with Delta, and only going up -- so why do the test until after this wave has run its course? If it was just my hyperreactive lungs, any contact in a medical setting just means exposing myself to the petri dish.

--------

I spend part of each evening wishing for the Multiverse to be just a little more gentle with people. I wish it'd been more gentle with your friend and the family/friends she's left behind. And I'll continue to wish it. It's all I can do. And it doesn't feel like enough.

[crimycarny]

56. Thanks for sharing

You mentioned pre-existing agoraphobia, which tells me you understand how someone can be terrified about things others don't understand. That is the way my friend was about the vaccine. I think in her mind she felt she'd be the one who'd get one of the rare side effects. But she wasn't anti-vax, she was just afraid. J

She masked up, she was very careful to wash her hands and they were careful about not having any indoor parties, etc. It's so very sad. In the end, we're all human.

[moriah]

64. I am still so sorry.

Fear IS a hard thing to let go.

My mother had passed because of non-COVID issues before the vax came out, and I tried to keep the friendship of her friend that I mentioned has also since passed for her memory, despite her Trumpism and seriously passing around as if it were true all the "this particular vaccine will kill you" stuff after her guy lost. She'd always vaxxed her kids, but she bought all the propaganda against it hook, line, and sinker even when one of her daughters was a pharmacist giving them out and the other was a nurse taking care of COVID patients.

We didn't talk about any of it, deliberately playing the Southern "no politics in polite company" game, until one day I just asked her to take me off the forwarding list she was using for the memes. Even that was too much of a challenge to a fear she'd built up, and one she also continued to pass on to others.

I wasn't angry with her over it, just so sad, especially when I did find her obit. But clearly the fear pumped into her about the vaccine can do worse than just make a person decide they didn't need rides to appointments anymore (about the only thing I left the house for, and drove all the way to the next county over twice to do it, but did it gladly for her).

I really wish things were different. I really, really do.

[SheltieLover]

45. Deepest condolences

[beemerphill]

50. I am sorry that you just lost a friend.

No matter the politics or the ideologies, she is still your friend, and you will miss her. One of my close friends died from this virus last year. Some of our group became more careful, and some of them just went on as before trusting that they would not get it. We must all decide for ourselves and hope that we have made the right decision. In this wave, most of those hospitalized have not been vaccinated. That is proof enough for me that the vaccine works, but some others interpret this differently. I pity them. Their friends will have to grieve for them like so many of us have already.

[whathehell]

53. " We must all decide for ourselves"?

I'm sorry, but that statement frames the efficacy of the vaccine as a matter of "opinion", but unless you're a scientist, that's simply not true
To quote former legislator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, "Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts".

[beemerphill]

63. Misunderstanding here.

I am not making up "my own facts". I am respecting the dignity of human beings and their right to decide for themselves what they want to do with their own bodies. We all have the right to decide for ourselves.
We gather what information there is and decide how relevant and truthful it may be. We then decide based upon those decisions.

[Upthevibe]

51. I'm so sorry to hear about your

friend.

These Mother******s who are disseminating this misinformation will get their due (karma- which I strongly belief in).

[crimycarny]

58. How's the view up there from your perch of purity?

As you well know, even vaccinated people can spread COVID. My friend always masked up and followed strict protocols of handwashing, no indoor parties, etc. She just had an irrational fear about the vaccine. Dear God may I never allow myself to lose my humanity and make comments like you just did.

"Ms Caring" as you call her had a policy in her restaurant that veterans ate for free, she raised over $70,000 for a local high school boy who suffered a severe head injury from a skateboarding accident, gave 100% of profits from the grand opening of one of her restaurants to a charity for homeless. There was a local homeless veteran, probably in his late 60's, who used to hold up a sign saying he was looking for work. She hired him and he still works in her kitchen. It even made the news. Her daughter learned from her and held an annual indoor tournament called "Cleats for Kids" in which people donated soccer cleats which were then sent to underprivileged kids.

I sure hope you've done just as much in your life to help others since you seem so intent on judging a complete stranger's life.

[vercetti2021]

59. I'm sorry for your loss

Fuck these goddamn misinformation spreaders

[niyad]

65. I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. And I understand her fear.

Mma the spreaders of lies and disinformation receive absolutely everything they deserve.

[Dorian Gray]

68. I know a couple of people like that

They have real phobias, have chosen not to be vaccinated. I've been afraid for them. I think it's why I have so much fury for the purveyors of misinformation.

I am truly sorry. People shouldn't die from this, especially now that vaccines are available.