I think that guilt is a more apt vehicle for improvement. Guilt is about our actions. It is about what we do to others that injures them. If you have not done anything wrong, you should not feel any guilt or shame.
Shame is about what you feel about yourself and it interacts with how you think others see you. I suppose if you hold racist attitudes and share those with your ingroup, that either explicitly or implicitly leads to discriminating against others, that feeling shame would be appropriate and might spark growth. The difficulty with Shame is that unlike guilt, shame is not really attached to anything other than what you perceive in yourself or what others tell you is inside you. Having been a Catholic for many years, I remember hearing about how we (people) were sinful and chose to turn away from god by our selfishness. That caused me to feel Shame at who I was because god came down and sacrificed for me, and I still wanted a little more candy than maybe I should have had.
When I have a bad day at work and come home and act snarky or shitty toward my wife, guilt about hurting her feelings causes me to realize that I did something wrong and stupid. I apologize and then work within myself to have better reactions to stress or frustration so I don't take it out on people I love. Next time when I have a bad day, I call and tell her that I had a bad day and might need a bit of time to relax, then I can fully focus on her and the kids. I have to fight the feelings of shame that have been instilled in me by my upbringing because I am not perfect. Shame doesn't really do much in that situation because I am not perfect and there should be no expectation that I am perfect.
The thing is, especially about kids, and particularly about kids younger than say 10, is that they do not formulate thoughts or ideas about the world that are necessarily separate from others. The parents are the primary educators (typically) at those youngest stages of development. They should be encouraged to feel guilt if they do things that hurt others, but making them feel ashamed, usually only results in feeling anxious or down on themselves.
No White person who is alive today, that is not racist or bigoted, should feel shame. They absolutely SHOULD be aware that there is still racism within individuals and in systems in our society. AND they should be aware that Black, Brown, LGBTQ, and other people who are typically the victims of those individuals and systems CANNOT bring an end to this on their own. It is the responsibility of everyone to destroy these systems together. White people (especially White men) tend to have more power within the existing system, so they have to decide whether to do something to destroy racism, sexism, homophobia, etc... or do nothing and allow these things to continue to exist.
Maybe, if you know this and STILL choose to do nothing, then you should feel shame.
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