Breaking: Romney urges 53% in storm path to prepare

[Earth_First]

@peterfeld: BREAKING: Romney urges 53% of Americans in storm path to prepare. #sandy

[Stargleamer]

1. The remaining 47% are just self-described "victims" anyway. . . n/t

[Earth_First]

2. #MittsStormTips trending on Twitter n/t

[Zambero]

3. Well the math certainly checks out

Romney said he didn't worry about the other 47%, and if you add the numbers together it accounts for everyone, be they "victims" or otherwise.

[kentuck]

4. That's funny!

[tokenlib]

5. The storm is God's punishment for the unsuccessful "takers'..in Willard world

[Coyotl]

6. Andy Borowitz : "Weather Forces Romney to Shift Lying to Other States"

October 28, 2012
Weather Forces Romney to Shift Lying to Other States
Posted by Andy Borowitz http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/10/weather-forces-romney-to-shift-lying-to-other-states.html


CINCINNATI (The Borowitz Report)—The threat of Hurricane Sandy has forced Republican nominee Mitt Romney’s campaign to move its lying efforts from states in the path of the storm to others beyond the hurricane’s reach.

Starting yesterday, the Romney campaign began reallocating lies originally intended for Virginia to other swing states such as Ohio and Wisconsin, the campaign confirmed today.

“An emergency situation like this really tests how good your ground game is,” said campaign manager Matt Rhoades. “Fortunately, we have liars in all fifty states.”

....

[randome]

7. 1. Make sure your mattress converts into a floatation device.

2. Keep spare keys to your safety deposit boxes on hand at all times.
3. Fire household help so they can't claim worker's compensation later.
4. Utilize children's stuffed animals as wine bottle repositories.
5. Destroy all sex tapes.

[Thinkingabout]

24. You forgot to get the cars, the elevator needs power.

[Beartracks]

25. And raise them all to the top floor to avoid flooding. n/t

[Raine]

8. Wow, that's deep, so profound, a real problem solver

I'm so impressed.

[Earth_First]

9. Pardon me?

[Chorophyll]

11. The storm knocked out their sense of humor, I think.

I'm right in Sandy's path, and I thought it was funny.

[Raine]

12. "prepare" that's all Rmoney can say because he has no plan

and has already said during debates that aid to victims of disaster is "immoral".So yeah I'm not impressed, he offers nothing else and if president ...

[Chorophyll]

10. Thanks for the laugh.

[cynatnite]

13. Thanks for the inappropriate laugh...

[Rosa Luxemburg]

14. What does he suggest I do to prepare for the storm?

[Earth_First]

15. Ensure that your binders are both elevated off the floor and tethered due to high winds... n/t

[Rosa Luxemburg]

21. LOL!

[Ilsa]

16. Purchase a home in Boca Raton. Get a car

Elevator installed to keep your cadillacs above storm surge levels. Have Cook make some extra meals before she drowns in your basement...
You get the picture...

[firehorse]

17. lower east sider here appreciates the laugh :D

keep em coming, laughter helps to de-stress

[Marie Marie]

18. Romney's 5 point plan for hurricane relief:

1) Cut taxes for the top 1%
2) Deregulate all banks and corporations
3) Dismantle FEMA
4) Tell everyone affected to suck it up, you are on your own
5) Lie about his 5 point plan

[Spitfire of ATJ]

19. The other 47% will serve as sandbags to protect the expensive homes.

[marions ghost]

22. !!!

[silvershadow]

20. ? and urges the 47% to prepare to be victimized.

[bench scientist]

23. this was my fav

Less firefighters makes markets stronger. Your disaster stricken town will learn valuable lessons, like how to fight Cholera

[pinto]

26. LOL.