Twitter #RomneyStormTips

[ehrnst]

"Everyone in the path of the hurricane should head to their second or third home to safety!"

"Make sure the dog carrier on top of your car really is waterproof."

"If it's a "legitimate storm" homes have a way of shutting down all that damage."

"Everyone chill out... Sandy will end earlier than expected... she has dinner to get on the table."

[Berlum]

1. Secure the locks on your Vault, your Swiss bank account, and your Cayman Tax Dodges

?1341755285

[LynneSin]

2. We should remember that this storm is a gift from god

[Kindly Refrain]

3. "You can rope together three or four poor people..."

"And use them as planking for an emergency raft"

[DetlefK]

5. "Make sure to pick poor people that float."

"You'll never convince those lazy moochers to start swimming."

[barnabas63]

12. ...or witches..witches float you know. nt

[dembotoz]

18. so his wife if safe

[Squinch]

4. No problem. 53% of us will be just fine.

[CindyinIndy]

6. Too bizarre for words.

[lunatica]

7. I'll be thinking of you from my secret location safe spot

Probably my home in California. The weather is better there right now.

[sheshe2]

8. Oh Sandy

" It a forcible hurricane alright!"

[William769]

9. Kick & recommended.

[Mira]

10. Where are the DUzys when we really need them n/t

[Chipper Chat]

11. "Hey 53%:

Now's the time to invest in Bain. I'll be closing all our east coast storm-damaged factories and shipping the remains to China. You can make a pantload."

[mountain grammy]

15. love all these posts, but this is my favorite...

[Kindly Refrain]

13. "To collect storm insurance on your beach house"

"Have your man walk through it with a sledge hammer and smash items so you can rebuild with a brand new interior. Have him flood the place by leaving all water faucets on and tell him to leave all windows open. Don't forget, you can claim many items, like your wifes diamond jewelry that just happened to be in the house and washed out to sea."

[ET Awful]

14. We've got binders full of hurricanes. n/t

[Ian_rd]

16. "If Sandy is anything like me, she'll change course within an hour."

[xtraxritical]

20. Excellent snarkasm! Keep 'em coming!

[FailureToCommunicate]

21. Win!

[Big Orange Jeff]

17. Before evacuating...

...direct the staffs at your coastal homes to secure all structures with plenty of "hardware stuff"?

[Big Orange Jeff]

19. If unable to evacuate...

...work to find a way to take advantage of the opportunity – like buying Lowe's or The Home Depot.

[ehrnst]

22. In place of FEMA Romney would issue $25 vouchers

to use towards a hotel, and 1200 frequent flyer miles for every day you are homeless.