Investment banking will fix hurricane damage, says Romney

[T_i_B]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/investment-banking-will-fix-hurricane-damage-says-romney-2012103047034

THE devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy can only be fixed with a new wave of unregulated investment banking, Mitt Romney has claimed.

The Republican candidate said there was no need for the New York Fire Department to deal with the large crane arm dangling over Manhattan as it could be placed gently onto a huge pile of money made by Goldman Sachs.

He added: “You then lower it gradually to the ground by removing money at the bottom of the pile and paying it out as bonuses. Voila!”

Romney also claimed the most effective way to deal with a 13-foot wall of sea water is a complex system of credit default swaps.

[liberal N proud]

1. That is his idea to recover from disaster?

He is dumber than he thinks we are.

[hatrack]

2. Uh, it's the Daily Mash - kind of the UK version of the Onion

[liberal N proud]

3. Hey, with Romney, you never know.

I have been waiting for him to say something totally off the wall. He is due.

[hatrack]

4. True enough - I was waiting to hear that the storm surge was "just the right height" . . .

[dynasaw]

5. God's Will

It was meant to happen as in having the child after being raped. That would be Romney and his minions' take.

[Skidmore]

6. So says Moneybag Mitt as he consults with

his blind (wink,wink)trust manager to select his next investment.

Actually I can tell whether that is satire or not.

[Ichingcarpenter]

7. If we off shore the disaster to Bangladesh

It would be cheaper to fix. Then if we close the broken ports in the US and open new private ones in the Philippines the savings will be enormous. The surviving infrastructure could be sold to Mexico....

I have just saved the US a ton of money with my Bain thinking.

[spanone]

8. not far from the truth...romney suggested PRIVATIZING fema so this would be a profit center

not a disaster

[rock]

9. It's comforting to know that Mitt has a back-up plan in case he (very likely) loses the election:

Comedian. Notice how he says it all with a straight face.