HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Russia's Hilariously Bad ...

Sun Jul 17, 2022, 02:09 PM

Russia's Hilariously Bad Excuses for Why Everything Sucks

Russia’s Trade Ministry has decided that white copy paper is now dangerous for Russians’ health and must be avoided at all costs.

“We have learned that this kind of gleaming, white office paper is harmful to human health,” Deputy Trade Minister Oleg Bocharov said, according to RIA Novosti.

“It turns out that paper with a rougher texture is better for your eyes.”

The reality is much simpler: Sanctions imposed on Russia after President Vladimir Putin ordered the illegal invasion of Ukraine in February has left paper manufacturers without whitening chemicals for paper. Normally, Russian manufacturers relied on imports from Finland to do the trick.

But the government is scrambling for a way to explain away the changes in paper quality—particularly because officials have yet to formally admit that Russian forces are fighting a full-fledged war and continue to claim that they are not attacking Ukrainian cities. Kremlin officials continue to tell Russians that their forces are simply a part of a “special military operation” meant to demilitarize Ukraine.

Already, pulp and paper mills in Svetlogorsk, Kondopoga, and Turinsk have begun shifting to produce paper successfully without the use of bleach as a result of sanctions, RIA Novosti reported.

It’s not the first time that the Russians have had to fudge the record in recent days due to struggles following the invasion.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/russias-hilariously-bad-excuses-for-why-everything-sucks-after-vladimir-putin-waged-war-on-ukraine?ref=home

Thought y'all could use some laughter. This is on par with the old Soviet system.

4 replies, 738 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 4 replies Author Time Post
Reply Russia's Hilariously Bad Excuses for Why Everything Sucks (Original post)
Jilly_in_VA Jul 2022 OP
uponit7771 Jul 2022 #1
cloudbase Jul 2022 #2
FakeNoose Jul 2022 #3
Swede Jul 2022 #4

Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Sun Jul 17, 2022, 02:27 PM

1. K&R, recently learned Hitler had 5 million fighting age men in German DURING attack on Russia and ..

... didn't want to call them up because he didn't want to expose how bad things were going.

Same for Putler here, it's not a **TRUE** total war for Russia so when things fall apart they make excuses.

It's just happening MUCH MUCH faster than expected

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Sun Jul 17, 2022, 02:59 PM

2. I have to ask how the toilet paper situation is over there. n/t

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Sun Jul 17, 2022, 03:00 PM

3. "Back in the U.S.S.R. You don't know how lucky you are!"



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Sun Jul 17, 2022, 03:07 PM

4. "If we can't have white paper we will nuke London."

Or something like that.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread