Russia's Hilariously Bad Excuses for Why Everything Sucks
Russia’s Trade Ministry has decided that white copy paper is now dangerous for Russians’ health and must be avoided at all costs.
“We have learned that this kind of gleaming, white office paper is harmful to human health,” Deputy Trade Minister Oleg Bocharov said, according to RIA Novosti.
“It turns out that paper with a rougher texture is better for your eyes.”
The reality is much simpler: Sanctions imposed on Russia after President Vladimir Putin ordered the illegal invasion of Ukraine in February has left paper manufacturers without whitening chemicals for paper. Normally, Russian manufacturers relied on imports from Finland to do the trick.
But the government is scrambling for a way to explain away the changes in paper quality—particularly because officials have yet to formally admit that Russian forces are fighting a full-fledged war and continue to claim that they are not attacking Ukrainian cities. Kremlin officials continue to tell Russians that their forces are simply a part of a “special military operation” meant to demilitarize Ukraine.
Already, pulp and paper mills in Svetlogorsk, Kondopoga, and Turinsk have begun shifting to produce paper successfully without the use of bleach as a result of sanctions, RIA Novosti reported.
It’s not the first time that the Russians have had to fudge the record in recent days due to struggles following the invasion.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/russias-hilariously-bad-excuses-for-why-everything-sucks-after-vladimir-putin-waged-war-on-ukraine?ref=home
Thought y'all could use some laughter. This is on par with the old Soviet system.
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