So, I've come into an unexpected inheritance. Second time in my life!

[Coventina]

The first one was very small - about $800.
It came from a family member from "the old country" who had died with no heirs.
Lawyers tracked down her living relatives here in the US, and, since my mother had died by then, her portion was split between me and my siblings.

This one was different, and I even posted about it here. A cousin of mine died with no will, and so my mom's entire family were identified as possible heirs. I really expected nothing, especially as he has a daughter, who is alive (AFAIK) in the Netherlands.


Well, my sister called me this morning as she got the final, legal paperwork in the mail. We each came into an inheritance well into the 5 figures. Not enough to be life-changing personally, but enough to be a year's salary for many in this country.

The legal paperwork identified all my cousin's living relatives and who got what amount. His daughter is not mentioned anywhere, and presumably got nothing.

Does this seem right?

Should I notify the lawyer handling the case?

As much as the money is nice (my sister really needs it right now) it doesn't seem right that my cousin's only descendant got nothing. I know that they were estranged, but still!

What should I do?

[TygrBright]

1. Do what you think is right. You have to live with yourself. n/t

[cbabe]

2. The daughter might have already been contacted

and refused the inheritance. You could contact her personally and offer to share.

[Coventina]

3. Well, here's the embarrassing part.

I don't even know her name.

I've never seen her in person, she's spent her whole life in the Netherlands.

I don't even know if her parents were ever married.
He got the mother pregnant while on leave in the Netherlands (he was in the Army).
His mom (now deceased) went over to visit her grandchild once while she was very young.

I wouldn't have the first idea of how to find her.
That's why I was thinking of notifying the lawyer, maybe they would know how to track down such a person?

[Tetrachloride]

4. Have a lawyer contact the daughter.

She has rights.

[Renew Deal]

26. Could the will say "my daughter gets nothing"

“And anything remaining shall be shared among my heirs”?

[Tetrachloride]

27. that may be. I lean toward some formal contact.

the situation needs daylight, not cover of darkness.

[rsdsharp]

5. It depends on the jurisdiction, but if your cousin died intestate

I’m at a loss as to why cousins are receiving anything, let alone that the (sole?) living daughter gets nothing. Are you sure there was no will? Is the daughter a step-daughter who was not legally adopted by your cousin? Does the estate attorney know about the daughter?

[Coventina]

9. I believe he is the true father. At least, he never disputed it.

I don't know if the estate lawyer knows about the daughter.

I have a little more information in post #3 above.

It's kind of a weird situation.

[rsdsharp]

11. Contact the estate attorney. The name and number should be on the paperwork.

If there is a known heir she should have been identified, by the attorney and given personal notice of the estate. If she wasn’t, and especially if she should have been the sole heir, your inheritance may well be challenged in the future.

[Coventina]

18. I think I will contact the attorney.

I don't think I can rest easy, otherwise.

[The Roux Comes First]

6. Not Nearly Enough Information to Serve As basis for Proffering Advice

What is daughter's financial situation, status, and age? Why the estrangement?

Obviously you could do the kind thing and give a portion of your inheritance to her, if the circumstances indicate that is appropriate.

[Coventina]

12. I have no idea what the daughter's situation is.

She'd be in her mid to late 20s, I think, by now.

I don't know why she was estranged from her father. I'm guessing it has something to do with the mother, and the circumstances of the daughter's conception. But, that's only a guess.


I would reach out to her, but I don't even know her name.....

[TreasonousBastard]

7. I would contact the lawyer. There may be other things involve they simply haven't advised you of.

[elleng]

8. Of the top of my head,

discuss with your sister, with the possibility of contacting an attorney (or the executor) with fact that 'His daughter is not mentioned anywhere, and presumably got nothing.'

and thanks for being thoughtful.

[brooklynite]

10. You should do nothing.

Its not up to you to decide what's fair. Either the Will stated the bequests, or the Government jurisdiction decided it.

[NoRethugFriends]

13. Harsh for a person trying to do the right thing (nt)

[brooklynite]

15. There's no "right thing" to do...

If the OP refuses the bequest, it won't result in the daughter getting anything. If the OP sends a share of the bequest to the daughter, it would be subject to gift tax.

Add to which, the OP says nothing about the relationship between the deceased and the daughter. Maybe they were estranged. Example: a friend of mine had a college roommate who was estranged from her father (who was was is coloquially called a "smuggler" ). He had given her a $10,000 bottle of wine (1898 Chateau Lafite Rothschild); she rejected the gift and gave it to my friend who drank it.....alone.

[rsdsharp]

29. Many thing are possible. She may have been known, given notice and turned down the inheritance.

That’s unlikely as she wasn’t named as a heir. Since the cousin didn’t marry her mother, she may have been adopted, and possibly have no claim on the estate. Or, she may have been unknown to the attorneys, never given notice, have a valid claim to the whole estate, and could later file a claim seeking her birthright that went to a bunch of cousins. A simple phone call would clear all of that up.

[Arazi]

16. Agreed. I've seen enough of these to know the OP should accept the inheritance and move on

While altruism is laudable, the deceased wasn’t in compos mentis as far as we know. It’s more than likely they tried a rapprochement with the estranged daughter and were firmly rebuffed, especially if they were a deadbeat dad for decades already.

Take the money in peace

[ForgedCrank]

14. Not much

else really matters other than someone else may be the rightful heir.
I would contact the attorney handling the estate and inform him/her of what you know and allow for the opportunity for the right thing to done. At least you would know that you did the right thing, even if she isn't located.
Personally, I'd have trouble living with it if I kept that information to myself.

[Coventina]

17. Well, the strangest part is that family members who were much closer to my cousin

also had this information, and probably more (like the girl's name! Or even possibly a way to contact her) and yet she still goes unmentioned in the paperwork.


I have to say, if I am the ONLY one in the family that informs the lawyer that this child (now an adult, for sure) exists, I am really disappointed in my mother's family.

[ForgedCrank]

19. Well,

we can't really control what other people do, and money unfortunately makes many people do some very unsavory things.
I'm not saying your family IS doing anything like that, because this topic may very well have already been brought up and researched without result. I commend you for being at odds with yourself because it is right.
All you can do is what you feel is the right thing for you and your own inner peace. You shouldn't even listen to me, you should listen to your heart, and what feels right to you because in the end, you are the one who lives with the decisions and actions.

One other thing to note, If it were ME, I would make the call, but I'd keep it to myself and attempt to be anonymous. I wouldn't want other people hating me forever because they lost out on enough free money to buy a 15 year old used car.

[AKwannabe]

20. Free money is just that

You are free to do what you wish.
Take the freedom whatever you choose to do.

My two cents

[BobTheSubgenius]

21. The Dutch are really, really good at this.

Two brothers I know in Victoria were contacted by a Dutch attorney to let them know they'd inherited money - $180,000 to split. The lawyers had, of course, followed Dutch law, and applied all due diligence to the situation; that being that they go through "tiers" of potential heirs....children, siblings etc on the first tier, for example.

From there, the hierarchy is a little muddy for me, but as I had zero part to play in this, so I had to reason to learn or retain the steps. In any case, the two brothers were the only ones on the third tier.

One TOTALLY deserved it, and the other, who I've spoken about a few times should have gotten 90,000 dick punches instead of $90,000.

The world is weird.

Referring back to my subject line, the lawyers will have exhaustively researched this situation and done a meticulous and scrupulous job of following both the will and Dutch law, if my tangential experience is any indication. I'd bet huge money that there will never be any blowback from just accepting the money.

That's the easy part - feeling good about it is the potential problem. If I were bold enough to add any advice, I'd point out that the legator probably left that person out of the will for a reason.

[Aussie105]

22. The trouble with inheritances is that someone in your family tree has to die

for you to get it.

I got one, 5 figure sum. Only because the person who died was frugal to a fault.

Hoarded money does no one any good.
I didn't want or need it.
Rather have had that person continue living.

Money was put to good use, paying off offspring debts, helping with mortgages, etc.

[keopeli]

23. A decent lawyer would have looked up records and found out this information.

Taxes, correspondence, next of kin, military records, etc etc. A decent lawyer will already know about the heir and done their due diligence. If it makes you feel better, tell the lawyer. I seriously doubt it will be news to the lawyer. You'll feel better and 99% chance it won't change anything. One call and you'll sleep better and still have the windfall. It's a win win. That's my free advice, for what it's worth obviously. Best of luck to you. Buy something nice, invest the rest and enjoy spending the interest when you need a vacation.

[LisaL]

24. It sounds like the daughter was

illegitimate. She lives in another country and was estranged from her father.
It's quite possible that the lawyer doesn't know anything about her.

[NoRethugFriends]

25. no person is illegitimate

[Emile]

28. I would notify the lawyer handling the case. If he asks for a bank routing

number to send the money, I would seek legal advice first.