Elon Musk Worried He Won't Have Enough Twitter Employees Left To Fire On Christmas Eve

[highplainsdem]

https://www.theonion.com/elon-musk-worried-he-won-t-have-enough-twitter-employee-1849870554

SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing concern that he might have totally ruined the holiday season, Elon Musk reportedly worried Thursday that he wouldn’t have enough Twitter employees left to fire on Christmas Eve. “Gosh, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to parcel them out long enough to enjoy destroying a few of their lives on Dec. 24,” said Musk, appearing visibly forlorn as he scrolled through the company’s rapidly diminishing roster and realized he simply might not have the willpower to string his remaining programmers along until he could tell them to clear out their desks just as the holidays rolled around.

-snip-

The rest of that long single paragraph is at the link.

[Aristus]

1. Satire: Still dead.

I don't think it will be coming back any time soon. At least not as long as people like Elon Musk are around.

[Initech]

2. Why do I get the feeling that Elon's Twitter experiment is going to end...

With him going full Jim Jones?

[Kennah]

4. Is there a line for who gets to shoot him?

[Kennah]

3. Unsure if this is satire or has The Onion decided to become legit news

[patphil]

5. I love the Advent Calendar comment in the onion article.