"Critics Say Submersible Should've Been Tested With Poorer Passengers First"

[70sEraVet]

https://www.theonion.com/critics-say-submersible-should-ve-been-tested-with-poor-1850566314

Sorry if someone has already posted this. And sorry if this satire is just a little TOO satirical.

[Buns_of_Fire]

1. I don't think Titan had room for a steerage section.

And to my knowledge, not even Musk has proposed they be used as ballast.

[Brother Buzz]

6. Actually there is a small steerage section under the sitting deck suitable for midget stowaways

[SouthernDem4ever]

12. SMH again!

Looking at that diagram, why in hell would anyone want to travel 13,000 feet down in that? It;s freezing and you can't see SH%T.

[Ligyron]

19. Yeah, most of us saw everything they did in the comfort of our living room.

and while they were freezing, we had freeze frame and rewind.

[Brother Buzz]

20. Check out this certified 13000 ft acrylic-hulled submersible that's been down to the wreck

Hell, it ain't got nothing but visibility, and if you can push past the 'transformer' or 'Lego' look, this is the ride to take

James Cameron favores acrylic over wound composite designs because it has a WAY higher fatigue cycle (degradation) rate, if any.

TRITON 13000/2 TITANIC EXPLORER SUBMARINE



It's the world's only acrylic-hulled submersible commercially certified for dives in excess of 13,000 feet, but that's not all that's special about Triton's 13000/2 Titanic Explorer. Capable of reaching the infamous ship for which it's named, it has a pair of folding gull wings to glide effortlessly through the water, ideal for smooth footage of skittish underwater creatures. Like all Triton subs, it has a completely colorless, optically perfect hull, and also incorporates the company's Direct Dive technology that greatly reduces prep time before diving, with the ability to reach 13,000 feet in less than two hours. LED lights and exterior cameras add to its filmmaker appeal.

[peppertree]

22. Among the nouveau-riche, paying for things almost no one else can has become a sport

And it almost doesn't seem to matter what it is anymore.

Just for bragging rights, you know?

[Elessar Zappa]

2. Sadly, it's a believable headline.

[Hortensis]

3. Lol. If anything, my impression from criticism that "surfaced" on social media

I visit is more like (MY interpretation) that they should have converted a bus, stuffed it full of nothing but wealthy people, and tested it by dropping it in and seeing how long it floated before beginning its final 2-mile journey. No jobs for poor people would be lost by not bothering with an astronomically expensive rescue attempt.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

4. I love good satire

[no_hypocrisy]

5. Satire, yes. But OTOH, I can easily

imagine the same quote intoned at some chi-chi country club bar, replete with assorted sniggers.

[Old Crank]

7. Perfect

Just fing perfect

[jmowreader]

8. The only issue with this...

...is that it didn't implode on its first voyage. So they would have stuffed the boat with poor people, given them a nice reasonably safe adventure of a lifetime, put the billionaires in it and THEN had them get squashed like bugs.

[Warpy]

9. Good engineering of any new technology

means picking it apart after the first couple of trial tuns to check for problems before you kill somebody with it.

[spike jones]

10. I have heard that some countries require the structural engineer to stand under the bridge

as it is being load tested.

[jmowreader]

16. Hyman Rickover...

...used to have a policy that the senior management of all contractors who worked on submarine refits be aboard during the boat's first test dive.

[spike jones]

21. The old Kingdome in Seattle was a round concrete structure with a domed concrete roof.

When it was being built and just before all the temporary supports were removed, the lead contractor resigned. He built it but he believed it would colapse under its own weight. It did not.

[twodogsbarking]

11. In the US we are currently testing poorer people to see how long they can live without health care.

Too blunt?

[erronis]

17. Not too blunt. Add in access to water, shelter, liveable climate, food, transportation

Oh, we could go on.

I hate to think such dimwit/assholes like musk, zuck, google-bros are running these experiments. Maybe it's actually the rabbits? (42)

[spike jones]

13. Machines and engineers joke.

A building contractor, architect, and engineer were to be guillotined. The contractor was asked if he wanted to be placed face up or face down. He chose down, but the guillotine failed to work so he was released. After fiddling with the machine, the architect was asked the same and he too chose face down. The machined failed again and he was released. More fiddling and it was the engineer’s turn. He chose face up and while lying there looking up, he said, “I think I see your problem.”

[erronis]

15. Love that one. Along with "engineers wrestling with pigs"

[spike jones]

18. Am I going to have to look it up?

I'm trying to think what it could be. I worked for structural engineers for forty years.

[spike jones]

25. I did look it up and, I remember it too.

I was at a meeting with my very attractive client along with a civil engineer, a structural engineer and a geotechnical engineer and the city planner was an engineer too. My client said to me that she liked being in the room with all the men. I told her that was the good news, the bad news was that they are all engineers.

I think she liked it because as a very attractive young woman, she knew she was going to mostly get her way.

[erronis]

14. I'm sure the vacation cruise was prepaid. Money on the barrelhead.

Those upper-crust passengers sent their bitcoins or NFTs or something before the festive launch. The company deposited these payments before the leaky boat set sail.

Champagne was popped. Unfortunately one of those Chateau Rothschild '43 was too highly carbonated and the cork pierced the flimsy shell. Perhaps another treasure-seeker/privateer/robber can recover that lovely bottle.

[tavernier]

23. Oh, they were not far from England

They were not far from shore
When the rich refused
To associate with the poor
So they put them down below
Where they’d be the first to go
It was sad when the great ship went down.

stanza:
Oh, it was sad. It was sad.
Too bad too bad
It was sad when the great ship went down
to the bottom of the sea sea sea sea
It was sad when the great ship went down.

———

Folk song sung after the sinking.

I don’t condone it, i’m just old, so I remember it.

[elias7]

24. Good one...

Because it’s true! That’s how they think

I think I’ve entered the acceptance of absurdity phase dealing with right wingers. They have pushed me over the line. I think I cracked when AI execs called for a congressional oversight meeting to regulate AI because it posed an existential threat to humanity…

[Recycle_Guru]

27. nailed it!