Thanksgiving in Dystopia

[WilliamPitt]

(Photo: Gage Skidmore / Flickr)

Thanksgiving in Dystopia
By William Rivers Pitt
Truthout | Op-Ed

Thursday 22 November 2012

LA JOLLA - President-elect Mitt Romney held his first post-election press conference today outside his palatial estate in La Jolla, California to discuss the ongoing violence in Israel and Gaza, the results of the presidential election, and to lay out his plans for what he called the most ambitious "100 Days" blueprint in modern American history. At his side was his wife, Ann, who was resplendent in a $73,000 Gautier dress and a hat made from three live ocelots and the feathers of the last known Utah Godsblood Finch in existence.

Also present was Vice President-elect Paul Ryan, who handed out vouchers for a free turkey sandwich from the local YMCA cafeteria to the large assembly of reporters, all of whom were missing Thanksgiving with their families to be present at the press conference. When a reporter from the San Francisco Chronicle grumbled about the meager offering on such an important holiday, Mr. Ryan replied, "That's the great thing about this country; it's a voucher, and you can choose not to use it. God bless America!"

President-elect Romney began the press conference with a short opening statement about the ongoing Middle East crisis. "Israel has no better friend in the world than the United States," he said, "and will have no better friend than President Romney when I am sworn in. What is happening in Israel is important to the security of Israel, and to the people of Israel, the Israelis, who are in Israel, as we all know. A proper resolution to this conflict is important to the security of the United States, as well. Gaza is, of course, Afghanistan's primary route to the sea, and given our war effort there, it is vital that we support our close ally Israel in this time of escalade crisis...I mean to say, escalating crisis."

"Sorry about that," he said, interrupting himself. "One of my sons wrecked our SUV last night, so Ann and I have been shopping for a new one, and 'Escalade' is probably the way we're going to go, so it's kind of stuck in my head."

The mention of his son brought a storm of questions from the assembled reporters about the legal status of Mr. Romney's eldest son, Tagg. The highly publicized election-night incident, in which Tagg Romney punched and kicked an African American reporter from the Associated Press who bore a vague resemblance to President Barack Obama while screaming, "You're the liar, darky! You're the liar, darky!" resulted in the soon-to-be First Son's arrest on assault, battery and hate crimes charges. Waving off the questions with a smile, Mr. Romney said, "Tagg is a good boy, and once Paul Wolfowitz is confirmed as my Attorney General, I am sure we will reach a just and equitable resolution of the matter." The reporter who was assaulted has not regained consciousness, and remains on life support.

The rest: http://truth-out.org/opinion/item/12897-thanksgiving-in-dystopia

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

[morningglory]

1. Delicious! Thanks for that. Now back to the giblets. nt