Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out into BLACK FRIDAY

[DonRedwood]

$ #$&$&@@#$* @*$^&@*$ @#*$@$*&@ @*@~)~)&$& @*#@#@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate shopping on a good day. I hate the mall. I hate Walmart. I hate the grocery store and the Dollar Tree and I hate those cute little shops with sweet little gifties and fancy soaps. I HATE them all.

I hate the parking lots and the bad drivers. I hate the lines and the plastic bags. I hate pushy people and I gimpy squeeling carts. I hate the bright lighting and the noise. I hate decorations that light up and make music when you walk by.

So black Friday is like taking everything I hate, multiplying it by 10, boiling it down so it is extra potent, and then doubling it and timesing it by ten again. I Hate Black Friday and I think the people who subject themselves to it are nuts.

But my mom is doing Thanksgiving on black Friday this year and my hair clippers just died partway through my haircut. I was buzzing it down short and on the first stripe up the back of my head the clippers quit. Dead.

So I decided I would just shave my head for the first time ever. I've gone through a pack of razors, they are all dull and painful...there are no fresh ones left, and my hair looks somewhat like a mangy opossum with chunks of hair here and there. My head hurts.

So I'm off to buy hair clippers. On black Friday. The day of the year I usually hide at home, avoid the crowds, laugh at my capitalist neighbors on TV as they bully and beat each other for a cheap set of cotton-poly pajamas and a $180 flat screen tv with a fuzzy picture and tin-can speakers. Now I must become one of the rabble I have looked down upon so many times.

God, I hate shopping.

[kooljerk666]

1. Just wear a hat...............

I would wait, it ain't that important.

You look great, relax.

[DonRedwood]

7. A HAT at MY mother's table???!!!

No. Nope. That just isn't going to happen.

She's not as bad as my grandmother (At age seven I was sent to stand against the wall until all the "civilized" people had finished eating. After everyone was done and left I was allowed to sit back down and finish eating. My terrible crime? I rested my elbow on the table while reaching for my water glass.

Other offenses included not putting your fork down after every bite, not chewing your food a certain number of times, singing at the table.... you get the picture.

[Skittles]

2. I would not be a part of that disgusting herd if you put a gun to my head

just hand-clip the rest with regular scissors or go to a hair salon

[Sekhmets Daughter]

3. Go to a barber...

and support a small business.

[lonestarnot]

4. So you wanna be a skinhead for black friday and have to enter the frenzy of the machine in order to

be that? OK.

[DonRedwood]

10. I have no choice.... I am mangy looking.

and cheap! I don't want to go to the barber and still have to buy clippers next week anyway.

[phleshdef]

14. I go the same route. I'm pretty bald so I just buzz it down to being nearly shaved myself.

[Son of Gob]

5. Go to a CVS or Walgreens. They got clippers.

I bought clippers from CVS about 5 years ago and they still work.

[tridim]

6. Walgreens was nearly empty two hours ago.

[DonRedwood]

12. I think I will make that my destination. Come to think of it that's where these clippers came from

about five years ago when my old clippers died halfway through a hair-cut on an evening I had a date.

lol...i guess that's the problem with doing your own hair...you're always doing it when the clippers die.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

8. This post needs pics of your head. eom

[DonRedwood]

11. google "Orange tabby cat with mange" and you'll have a pretty good idea what i look like!!!

[Cerridwen]

9. Did you try fixing them?

Sorry if that question sounds snarky. I'm just surprised so many think to replace rather than repair.

My SO was doing his hair the other day and the clippers died. He pulled them apart; cleaned them; cleaned the contacts; re-set the contacts; et voilà, working clippers. The problem was a bad contact and the cleaning was to avoid the issue in the future.

[txwhitedove]

15. Calm down, and go to the corner dollar store, go home, fix hairs, take a drink.

[BanTheGOP]

16. Wear a hat. Geez.

Don't have a cow. Save your hate for the rethugs.

[freshwest]

17. That'll teach ya! I'm sure your hair was just gorgeous, you shoulda left it alone!

Grow that hair while you still can!