Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Simultaneous coronaries while engaged in a shoving match with Rupert?

Crushed when the Kennedy Center collapsed on him and his delightful wife?

Torn apart by feral hounds because he's all over the Epstein list?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason whatsoever?

[SheltieLover]

1. Died alone on Alcatraz as he wanted island "privilege?"

Stepped on a slippery slope & could not right himself because the word "right" does not compute?

Torn to shreds by small business owners over tariffs?

[twodogsbarking]

2. Kilt by a Scottish adder.

[Gimpyknee]

3. Nope

[Marcuse]

4. Boys in the news room got a running bet. Get the widow on the set.

[11 Bravo]

20. What are the odds of them being able to get a shot of her not laughing her ass off?

[malaise]

5. No but

He’s hearing Epstein’s death rattle every second of the day😀

[surfered]

6. Died from Anaphylactic Shock brought on by a bagpipe allergy

https://www.indy100.com/politics/trump/trump-drowned-out-bagpipes-golf-scotland-protests

[hlthe2b]

7. "Enough already!..."

"I've had it with you and your little 'tough talking plump-cheeked, bearded, eyeliner-wearing' buddy..."

FA

[Marthe48]

8. Taken captive by secretive Scottish clan

along with his caddy and vance. The clan ordered each one to find 10 golfing related items and let them go to find them. vance came back first with 10 golf balls. The chieftain ordered vance to stick every ball up his butt, without laughing. If he laughed, they'd kill him. He got 4 stuck in before he laughed, so they killed him. The caddy was holding a handful of golf tees. The chieftain gave him the same orders and threat. The caddy began the task, got to the 9th one, and started laughing hysterically. The chieftain said, "You almost got through the ordeal. Why did you laugh?" And the caddy pointed toward the golf course and said, "trump has golf clubs!"

[niyad]

13. SNORT!!!

[Marthe48]

15. I love updating old jokes

[CaptainTruth]

9. Today's T-shirt

[Moostache]

10. Still waiting... soon, i pray

Found dead on toilet, unsent messages on phone.

[Dulcinea]

18. That could very well be what happens.

When CHF finally does him in, he'll be found on the potty, phone in hand.

[Harker]

11. Had a conniption when an aide revealed that "incompressible jizz trumpet" wasn't meant as a compliment.

[niyad]

12. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[SheltieLover]

14. 👠👠👠👠👠👠

Still waiting.

Soon. 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

[LetMyPeopleVote]

16. Now would be good

[BWdem4life]

17. No, but when he does

They damn well better not get away with naming ANYTHING after him except the disasters he left behind.

[republianmushroom]

19. Not last night, damn, hopeful it will be today, then.

Don't care how or why, just get it done.

[Wicked Blue]

21. felled by a skelpit lug in the heid wi' a fleein' moldy stinkin' haggis

Afterward the haggis complained that the stench was too much for it.