Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam

[Zorro]

White House Confirms ‘Emergency Hospital Visit’ To Witness Mammogram


A photo the president posted on Truth Social so the public could “rest easy” knowing he had seen the breasts.

WASHINGTON—In a chaotic and alarming scene that sent West Wing staffers springing into action, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that President Donald Trump had been rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center to watch a woman’s breast exam.

Early this morning, Secret Service agents were seen whisking the president out of a Cabinet meeting and onto his Marine One helicopter after they received word that an attractive 27-year-old Army specialist had arrived at the Bethesda, MD medical facility for her routine cancer-screening procedure. Multiple commercial flights were said to have been grounded or rerouted to clear the airspace and ensure Trump arrived before the patient began to disrobe.

“I knew we were in a race against time when I saw the president’s eyes rolling back as he imagined this lady taking her shirt off,” said Trump aide Trent Dixon, who recalled how he prayed beside the president as they rode in the helicopter, asking God to keep the woman on the examination table as long as possible. “I kept telling him, ‘You’re going to make it, sir. You’re going to see those breasts.’”


The president was taken aboard Marine One and hurried to the reportedly topless woman’s checkup.

“And I really do think it was God who got us to the hospital in time to walk in on that woman just as she was lowering the top of her paper gown,” Dixon continued.

https://theonion.com/trump-rushed-to-walter-reed-to-watch-breast-exam/

[dalton99a]

1. Kick

[KentuckyWoman]

2. She's too old for him.

Sadly, reality is crazier than anything the onion can dream up.