General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFalse Equivalency Software for the Lazy Pundit on Sale Now!
Do you make your living on television news as a political expert? Do you have your own Sunday morning talk show, or maybe youre Chuck Todd or David Gregory? Or maybe you just like to sound smart and dont have the time read anything? Well, have we got a product for you! Instaquivalency!
With Instaquivalency! one can feed any wrong-doing by any Republican into our patented software, and in less time than it takes to say, War on Christmas a story about a Democrat is on your monitor. But what if its an issue like the Iraq War, or climate change that needs equating? No problem for Instaquivalency! Just give us a headline, and well give you a chance to sound balanced!
Thats right! No more scouring the news reports, or risking picking the incorrect story for your next appearance on CNN. Who hasnt wondered, Um, is using a teleprompter as bad as lying about the Iraq War, or should I stick the old standard, But Clinton
? And if youre in a hurry theres an app for that! You can find an equivalent story on the cab ride to the studio!
Mountains of evidence, all the science and your own observations about global warming got you down? No worries mate! You have Instaquivalency! Now you can say, No its not, with the best of them! The last the 333 months were all warmer than the average 20th century temperature. Retort: Glenn Beck and Exxon said its not. Problem solved!
And for you non-pundits out there who love a good talking point, but like to sound smarter than average, Instaquivalency! is perfect for you too. Usually when you say, Theyre all crooks, or Both sides do it, there is nowhere to go. But not now! Imagine youre at a party and someone says, The Texas Republicans have come out publically against critical thinking. You can retort, Both sides do it, while you punch in Texas Republicans Thinking into the Instaquivalency! app, and out pops, John Wayne Gacy was a Democrat. Is it relevant? No, but thats not the point. The words Republican and Democrat are equivalent, the rest is filler! Just like on TV!