I was reported to HR for using the word Negro in a perfectly appropriate context

[tcfrogs]

Let me elaborate. Was chatting with a co-worker in the small cafeteria/breakroom yesterday when I was refilling my coffee. He and I are both baseball fans, and were discussing the baseball playoffs and he referenced his visit to the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Told him I hadn’t been to Cooperstown yet, but I had visited the Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City a few years ago. Just idle chatter and then went back to my desk.

Within an hour, received an e-mail from someone in HR requesting my presence later in her office later in the afternoon. Was absolutely floored when she informed me that a co-worker had overheard me use the word Negro and felt that was completely inappropriate. Obviously I explained the context, and the HR woman either didn’t quite understand or sympathized with the complaining associate, and immediately scheduled a meeting with both my boss and the head of HR for tomorrow (which is now today.)

Now I think this is making a mountain out of a molehill. And don’t think my boss nor the HR director (who is a personal friend) will do anything more than laugh off this innocent statement of fact that I made.

Any thoughts on how to proceed?

[no_hypocrisy]

1. Show HR the online site that

has the official name of the Kansas City museum.

[hatrack]

2. Precisely this - it's the name of the museum

I hope they're not too stupid to understand that.

[tcfrogs]

6. Difficult to tell anymore

Sadly.

[tcfrogs]

3. Way ahead of you

https://www.nlbm.com/

[TheRickles]

9. Print out a hard copy and hand it to them. Hopefully the meeting lasts 2 minutes.

[ms liberty]

13. No. Print out 3 copies -

One for the meeting. One to go in your personnel folder with the complaint. The final one is for them to give to the offended person, so they will be more informed.

[mountain grammy]

23. Exactly..

[Wounded Bear]

34. Or post it on the company bulletin board, assuming you have one...nt

[LisaM]

108. The offended person would probably consider that harassment.

I would let HR deal with her. It's best to stay away from toxic people at work.

[ms liberty]

109. HR can show it to her, that is the point.

[democratsruletheday]

14. and at SOME point demand an apology....

don't wanna use reich wing terms like snowflake but the ignoramus who reported this is a Grade A wimp IMO

[Celerity]

35. this!!!

[Aviation Pro]

41. Use uninformed delicate flower

….

[Attilatheblond]

53. When I was in high school, back in the Bronze Age, a very naive and foolishly 'helpful' classmate

insisted we, as a nation, should replace the word 'negro' with, and I kid you not, "Chocolate Americans". She figured that term would make those of a darker color seem less threatening to white people. This was in the late 60s and people of color were still fighting POLITICALLY for basic rights taken for granted by Marsh-mellow People.

[yardwork]

58. I guarantee that student grew up and voted for Trump three times.

[Attilatheblond]

63. This was in Orange County, Ca, and her family were rigerous about their 'traditional bible' church attendence

It is a safe bet you are correct.

[yardwork]

64. Your post brought back unpleasant memories of that type of "sweet" girl.

Ick. Sickly sweet smiles and rotten inside.

[flor-de-jasmim]

77. Would biracials be chocolate marshmellows?

[Attilatheblond]

80. LOL Throw in a couple Hispanics and ya got s'mores!

[AllaN01Bear]

65. i hate these people who go behind my back and whine to someone else and dont apologise to me

rather than a ooral one a written one shnould suffice .

[BonnieJW]

72. How would they feel

if you remind them that NAACP stands for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People? Will they be offended by the term colored people?

[Bluetus]

69. It is our history

Last edited Thu Oct 16, 2025, 10:51 AM - Edit history (1)

It is not "woke" to whitewash our history.

The Negro Leagues is a story of the racism that has been the foundation of this society from the beginning (long before the Declaration of Independence, and that racism continues unabated today.

And it is also the story of perseverance with black people finding ways to achieve even in the face of such oppression.

Just curious who reported this. I doubt it was a black person,. And I doubt it was a MAGA person, unless they were just trying to get a lib in trouble, but they aren't usually that clever. My guess it was a person who thought they were enlightened and was doing good work by suppressing the factual discussion of our history.

[FSogol]

4. I knew someone who got in trouble for saying, "frijoles negros."

[John Coktosten]

21. No way

Black beans? How stupid are people today?

[GB_RN]

26. They Voted For Cantaloupe Caligula The Corpulent...

And you have to ASK? 😉😂

[John Coktosten]

27. Haha

I love it! "
Cantaloupe Caligula The Corpulent"

[GB_RN]

31. Thanks!

It’s primo, IMHO😁.

I already had “Caligula” in my head due to his autocratic tendencies (and the fact that Caligula was also…kinda crazy pants...made it a perfect fit). “Corpulent”, well, that one is self explanatory and was a natural extension. Took me a couple minutes though, to come up with another name for orange that would work with Caligula the Corpulent.

[whopis01]

29. Having someone get offended when you say "frijoles negros" is the least of your worries today

After the Supreme Court ruling last month, speaking Spanish can be used by ICE as justification to stop, detain, and question you.

That's how stupid people are today.

[travelingthrulife]

42. I went to a dentist years ago who was a MAGA type. He was whining about all the 'illegals'

using the emergency rooms for free.
When my mouth was returned to me I asked how he knew they were here illegally. He said, "Because they were speaking Spanish."

Definitely coming.

[Wednesdays]

73. Goes to show you stupid people can get advanced degrees. nt

[CanonRay]

66. It's a furrin' language.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

37. There should be no problem, as long as they pronounce it "NAY-gross"

And, just for laughs, pronounce the "J" like an "H". just habling.

[ananda]

5. OK, here's what I'd do.

I'd apologize for the use of the word "Negro"
which is the official title of the museum.

Then I would say that I would write a letter
to the museum asking them to change it.

That will help them put it in perspective.

And you really don't have to do any of those things.

[ProfessorGAC]

7. It Was The Name Of The League!

Because that was considered the polite term in the 1930s.
In fact, the league was founded by Rube Foster (thank you to Ken Burns), who was black, and he named it that.
Completely appropriate usage & I hope your management sees it that way.

[tcfrogs]

8. Even as recently as the early 1970's

The term Negro was routinely used in print and on TV broadcasts. It was the generally acceptable media terminology.

[ForgedCrank]

12. This is

the consequence of racist a-holes abusing language. That is technically the proper descriptor, but it can no longer be used used due to certain types applying it in a hateful way. I'm just old enough where my brain still considers that to be the respectful word to use, and I have to make myself use "Black" because that used to be more out of line and it makes me mildly uncomfortable using it. It used to even be on all of the government forms. I guess it could also be a regional thing.
In the end, I'm Ok using whatever someone wants to be referred as, but it's a shame someone got into trouble for it all because of how we got to this point.

[whopis01]

33. Yes - exactly. And it won't end anytime soon.

Whatever word is used to describe an ethnic group (even a word chosen by that group) will eventually be turned into a slur by racist a-holes. Then we won't be able to use that word any more and a new one will be chosen and the cycle will repeat.

Maybe someday people will realize that words themselves are not what is actually causing the problem. Or realize that no matter what word you use to describe an ethnic group, a racist a-hole is still going to be a racist a-hole about it.

[aggiesal]

46. The color Black in Spanish is Negro (soft e like Negative, not hard e like Knee) ...

When slave ships departed from Africa, their fist stops were either Dominican Republic or Cuba, both Spanish speaking countries. They referred to the slaves as Los Negros.
The word got bastardize by English speaking people in the U.S.
People don't usually try to figure out the origins of words.

[ms liberty]

87. Exactly, it's pronounced "nehgro" neh as in meh with a slight roll to the gr

Then white people changed the pronunciation to nee-gro, but it was still considered polite, as was "colored person" in that time. Then times changed and most of us changed with it. Unfortunately, bigotry, racism, misogyny and classism are all harder to eradicate than we all thought. I'm hoping this is it's last extinction burst that we're currently experiencing.

[yardwork]

10. I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

Along with sharing the name and website of the museum, I would also point out, very calmly, that if you were a racist it is hardly likely that you would have made a trip to visit this museum.

During the HR meeting I suggest being very calm and pleasant. Say that you understand that whomever reported you just wanted to make sure it is a fair and unbiased workplace. Say you appreciate working in a place that cares about its employees, and that you appreciate the opportunity to explain. Keep the mood light and pleasant.

Then, after the meeting, quietly try to find out whoever reported you and avoid them from now on. Don't sit near them in the lunchroom. Avoid being alone with them. Despite what you say to HR, that coworker is not to be trusted.

[Tanuki]

68. I would want HR to formally educate the snitch

in no uncertain terms. I would be concerned that if there is any ambiguity, and the snitch is not told that they were in the wrong, they will go around badmouthing our OP as a racist and damaging their professional reputation and standing in the workplace.

[yardwork]

81. Any escalation will probably hurt the OP more.

Once a formal complaint is made to HR it becomes a fairly serious issue that can take on a life of its own.

The lying snitch may lie more. If HR starts to think there is "a personality conflict" between the two the OP could end up being fired or retaliated against in other ways.

The best way to neutralize the situation is for OP to act very calm, pleasant, reasonable to HR and management.

And watch their back around the untrustworthy snitch. Never be alone with them, never send an email without a cc to a trusted colleague or manager, etc.

[Orrex]

11. I met W James Cobbin while doing a job at his museum in Youngstown

This was a year or two before the Negro League was formally absorbed into the MLB.

I know very little about sports, so I didn't even realize who he was until I saw an old pic of him in uniform. One of my favorite celebrity encounters.

That place was packed with historical articles and gear, and it displayed "Negro League" a dozen times on every wall. I hope your sensitive coworker doesn't stumble into this offensive setting!

[barbtries]

15. Continue to tell the story as it happened.

Maybe download a brochure from the museum. Then maybe they'll get it.

context is everything.

[OldBaldy1701E]

16. I would tell the that, since this is an issue, all employees need to have a list created.

That way, there is no question as to what is and is not appropriate.

(The resulting debate just might shut down your company for a day or two. Trying to please everyone over something that will never please everyone can be... disrupting.)

[ms liberty]

17. Or make it fun. Ask them to google "Geddy Lee and baseball"

They're going to get PAGES of articles, video/audio and phots of rock legend Geddy Lee and his awesome gift to the NLBM.

[muriel_volestrangler]

18. Get the friend you were chatting to to confirm, either to the HR person or in writing, that it was the museum name

you mentioned. That way, it's not just a "accounts differ" scenario of the context.

[MayReasonRule]

19. Attorney - Get An Attorney Now - You're Being Targeted And Attacked

Dang y'all I really hate you're going through this needless bullshit.

[Tadams01KC]

20. Geddy Lee

I was at the Negro Leagues Baseball Musuem in KC on Saturday for a book signing with Geddy Lee of the band Rush. He was signing his new book 72 Stories about baseball collecting. Geddy has donated hundreds of items to the Museum.

[3catwoman3]

38. How old is the person who complained about this?

The level of ignorance in this country is pathetic.

[ms liberty]

97. Wow. I would be giddy about that, particularly now

When he and Lerxst have just announced they've hired the new chick (Anika Nilles) to sit in for the Professor. How cool for you!

I'm excited about them bringing in Anika. All the Rush sites have a bunch of men sputtering with outrage, because they always thought the guys were all three just like them.

The only female drummer those dopes would have ever accepted was probably Olivia, but she's too young still and would she really want to have to walk in her dad's footsteps right outta the box?

[FHRRK]

22. Interesting

I think my kids, 32 and 28, know the history but perhaps not. Guessing many under 40 may have limited knowledge of baseball segregation.

[xmas74]

24. Just tell them you didn't realize a trip to KC was so controversial.

And about our wonderful museum here in KC. Include not just the museum but the entire 18th and Vine experience including the Gem Theatre. Talk about our bbq. Make them realize this is all a real place, it's famous in KC and that it's included regularly in discussions about visiting KC.

Hell, the Savannah Bananas are the big thing in baseball at the moment and they just added a new team for 2026, the Indianapolis Clowns. Their inaugural game with the league is in KC. Why? Because they were a member of the Negro League. Hank Aaron played for them and they were also the first team to sign a woman player to a long term contract and not immediately end it-back in the early 50s.

(Fingers crossed I get picked off the wait list for the game!)

It's hard to talk about baseball history without mentioning the Negro League.

[chowmama]

25. For God's sake, don't tell them what NAACP stands for. nt

[Callie1979]

43. I was just thinking the same thing. So silly

[aggiesal]

57. National Association for the Advancement of Colored People ...

has no reference to the word Negro.
Am I missing something?

[yorkster]

70. The implication is that the person who got

upset about hearing Negro League will no doubt have the same reaction to hearing the words Colored People.
In both instances, of course these are the actual names of the organizations.

[thesquanderer]

71. Similar, because referring to a black person as "colored" is generally unacceptable in the same way "negro" is. nt

[aggiesal]

92. On top of all that, Black people actually perferred to be called Black. (This is based on the movie Red Tails) ...

Or Negro (Nehgrrro) in Spanish. Go figure

[Mosby]

96. Depends though

"Person of color" is fine.

[malaise]

28. Give them a link to the Negro Leagues

That is all

[JT45242]

30. Have a screen shot of their website with the title and logo of the museum

It's an amazing experience and they were called the Negro Leagues and that is the name of the museum.

One of the best museum experiences for a family vacation was going to the negro league museum and the jazz museum with the family. Both sons played in jazz bands in school and the entire day rivaled the Field museum or the museum of science and industry for long term impact on my sons.

[Ponietz]

32. I was reported for using "SNAFU" in an email

HR called me in and smirked.

[Wounded Bear]

36. Situation Normal, all fouled up...

There is a clean version.

[kiri]

39. Wait til they learn "niggardly"

A perfectly good English word................nothing to do with negro, n*g*r. The lack of education will do us all in.

[yardwork]

47. I have stopped using that word because it's too easily misunderstood.

That's fine. It's an old fashioned word and it's just to similar to a common slur.

But this situation is completely different.

[sop]

105. Years ago I used the word "niggardly" during a meeting to describe a low-ball settlement offer.

Predictably, someone took offense. As they say on the interwebs: NSFW.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

40. Ask if you should stop donating ...

... to the United Negro College Fund.

And maybe buy the HR person a book for Christmas:

[Shrek]

44. Ask for a copy of the company policy that forbids the word n/t

Last edited Thu Oct 16, 2025, 10:01 AM - Edit history (1)

[gulliver]

45. Poor HR

I'll bet if you asked HR people, most of them would rather not do thought policing as part of their job. (And the ones who do want to do it are probably the last ones you want doing it.)

I'll just put in my two cents. The person who reported you should be fired or, at a minimum, have something entered into his or her file. They are either not a good team player or, worse, a race Karen. You don't snitch on somebody as a racist unless you're damned sure you have a case. The person who reported you obviously had no case. They don't belong on a team that needs to work together in peace and professionalism.

[yardwork]

49. I agree that the lying snitch is not to be trusted.

However, the OP is in a vulnerable position and the best way out of it is to come across as very calm, pleasant, and reasonable. Demanding that the coworker be identified or punished will escalate the situation.

The best approach is for OP to figure out who the snitch is and never be alone with them at any time. Meetings should always include another trusted person. Email exchanges should always include another cc. Etc. just do this quietly.

[Callie1979]

48. THIS is the kind of nonsense the RW loves to point out.

I remember several years ago a student filed a complaint that a professor used the word "niggardly"
He thought it was a racist word when its actually nothing of the sort.

[yardwork]

51. The RW causes this kind of situation more often than not.

The snitch could just as easily be a MAGA trying to start trouble. Very likely the snitch is jealous or resentful of OP and saw a way to cause trouble.

A sincere nice person would have approached OP directly. Running to HR is the sign of an asshole.

[70sEraVet]

50. You might keep your mind open to the possibility....

that the person who overheard you, either didn't hear much of your conversation or didn't understand it. They may have acted in good faith.
Now, why the HR person decided to push it after you had explained, well, that's another matter. Perhaps someone is trying to justify their position in the company.
Good luck.

[yardwork]

54. Snitching to HR is never a good faith move.

A nice person who was genuinely concerned would have approached the OP or brought the issue to the attention of their manager. Tattling to HR is not a sincere or kind move.

Ask yourself what you would do if you heard a coworker say something you thought was racist. Would you go directly to HR? I would never do that as a first move.

[70sEraVet]

67. I guess I always worked for smaller companies.

There wasn't a dedicated 'HR' -- just some manager who was assigned to do double duty.
So, I withdraw my advice.

[hay rick]

52. Lie down on the floor, kick your feet, rip your clothes, and cry like a baby.

Two sad things about this story- the trouble-seeking snitch and the context-blind HR person. If I was the HR director I would be upset.

[rurallib]

55. Whatever happens, please tell us about the outcome

Most of us are rather dumb founded by such a silly complaint. But we want to hear what the HR types are going to do.

[mommymarine2003]

56. My husband and I attended a function several years ago at this museum.

My husband is a retired city manager. Several years ago, the International City Manager's Conference (ICMA) was held in Kansas City. One of the official functions we attended was held at this museum. We really enjoyed learning about this part of American history. If the use of the word "negro" is so offensive, then I would expect that the city of Kansas City would not have held anything in this museum. Instead, they showcased it. The city is proud of this facility with the appropriate name.

I hope everything goes all right for you today.

[3Hotdogs]

59. Many moons ago, a member of the Nixon Whitehouse

was called out for using the word, niggardly.

It is in several dictionaries.

[bigtree]

60. it was preferred by my community in my own time

...it's on my birth certificate,

The real problem is in how the word was slurred, like LBJ saying 'nigra' in a recorded telephone conversation about hiring a young Carl Rowan.

[angrychair]

61. Ignorance

It's the ignorance of our history that is killing us. This is symbolic of the ignorance of our history and the lived experience of people that are still alive today.

When we lose connection to our history, we loose connection to the who, what and why things are the way they are and how we got here and why it matters now.

[stollen]

62. Taken out of context "Negro" is colonial

not racist. Same for "oriental." We should say "Asian." But we don't say "The Asian Express." Depends on the context.

It's a shame the ignorance about the Black Leagues.

[hamsterjill]

74. It sounds like you have an overactive co-worker.

This is absurd. As suggested many times above, show that this is the actual name of the museum and demand an apology.

I'd be wondering who it was who complained and why they reported. Maybe someone is carrying a grudge over more than just overhearing a conversation.

[Emile]

75. Sounds like you have an Ass Kissing Republican coworker.

[Grim Chieftain]

76. I would definitely insist on an apology

from all concerned. It almost verges on harassment. You were put through undue stress for no valid reason.

I am so sorry you were put through this. God, we're living in insane times.

[Iggo]

88. I would just insist that they never get to mention it again.

Then I’d look at ‘em hard whenever I walked by them.

Cause I’m like that.

[flashman13]

78. Simple - Have the website of the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum cued up on your phone.

I checked it out. That is the name of the museum. It has Negro in it. If Negro is OK with the people which the museum is paying homage to, it should be OK with your fellow employees and your seriously uninformed HR person.

[DAML]

79. examples

I would also give other examples such as the united negro college fund.

[questionseverything]

106. I remember their commercials from Saturday morning cartoons

“ a mind is a terrible thing to waste “

[Shrek]

82. Sort of on-topic but not really

Link to tweet

[Iggo]

83. That's funny. I was reported here for something kind of like that (but not really.)

I used a phrase I had always used coming up that I got from my black buddies when they were describing to me how something bothers them or is a problem for them even though it might not seem to me like it would be because things are different for me. It was kind of a part of my lessons on privilege, although I didn’t call it that back in those days. I had never had a problem using that phrase until I used it here. I learned something that day. Now I don’t use it at all unless I’m talking about that specific incident. (And NEVER here, even if that’s what I’m talking about…lol.) I ain’t mad about it, though. I’ll just leave it in the past where it belongs.

So you see it’s not really the same thing, other than their both being fine examples of knee-jerk white guilt in action.

Peace! ✌️

[flvegan]

84. Outrage Factory hard at work at your place of employment. n/t

[Festivito]

85. Counterclaim that the displayed denial of a named business denotes a racism against blacks.

Your use of a named business offers a positive view on a people in this case black people.

Your coworker is trying to deny positive references to blacks, even to deny their existence.

[SocialDemocrat61]

86. Go to the web

and show them the site for the museum

[MIButterfly]

89. Several years ago when I was still working, I was miffed about something that happened.

I was walking past a co-worker's desk and I said "God damn it!" About an hour or so later, she came to my desk and said, very softly, so nobody else would hear, "I was offended by what you said." I felt terrible. Tears almost came to my eyes. I never wanted to offend anybody. I said I was sorry and I meant it. Later on, when I was telling my mother what happened, she said "That's the way adults handle things." She didn't go to the director of the department; she didn't go to HR; she came directly to me and I didn't have to look at everybody wondering if they were the person who complained about me behind my back.

And I made sure I never said anything like that aloud again.

[Bobstandard]

90. The complainant was malicious

Knowing how too many people are in the workplace I think there’s a good chance whoever made the complaint did do maliciously. Since further advancement in the company may now be proscribed, this person has caused the OP damage. If the meeting goes badly I’d use that phrase and suggest that the matter won’t end there.

Since the HR person escalated after the perfectly reasonable explanation I’m guessing this doesn’t go well. I hope OP keeps us posted.

[Ping Tung]

91. There are no facts, only interpretations. Nietzsche

Everything is subjective and relative. Context helps resolve the dilemma of propriety.

[johnp3907]

93. Ask everyone at the meeting if they know what NAACP stands for.

[Mosby]

94. Cool story.

[LAS14]

95. There seems to be some confusion in this thread. And...

....I wasn't sure either.

Were you reported because someone thought you were being racist and should have used Black or something?

Or were you reported because someone thought you were somehow espousing DEI principles?

[Mysterian]

98. Cool story!

[obamanut2012]

99. What a cool story!

[FoxNewsSucks]

100. I am so tired of stupid people who can't mind their own d*** business

Being able to easily meddle and cause so much problem for other people

[unblock]

101. Get a lawyer, get a lawyer, document everything, get a lawyer, and document everything.

I cannot stress this enough.

It's always more complicated than just the one nominal issue. In many cases, the nominal issue is just the pretext for whatever the real issue is.

It's always more complicated..

Get a lawyer.

[Skittles]

102. is there an official record of this, er, UTTER NONSENSE

just curious

[Hotler]

103. Show up with an attorney. Just like talking to the cops.

Say and sign nothing unless you have an attorney present.
Best of luck

[Vinca]

104. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It was called the Negro League and is still called the Negro League.

[dem4decades]

107. People are idiots. I don't miss the days of someone mishearing something that was not said to them.

And reporting it to HR.

[Mark.b2]

110. My company's HR, now called "People", is the most overhead-iest of all overhead...

functions in the whole damn company. They contribute little but cost to the bottom line and do their damnedest to insert themselves daily into those of us running the business. Every day, there’s at least one email about “employee resource groups”, the start of some component of the months long evaluation process, talent reviews, policy updates, required manager training, open enrollment, nine-box assessments, leadership training micro-session, and on and on. And I rarely hear from the same person. It’s always someone with yet a different “sandbox.”

I long for the days of when you’d hear from “Personnel” a couple times a year for employee evals and open enrollment.

I’d probably lose my you-know-what if I received a call from HR like you did. HR should have dealt with the busy-body, thin-skinned co-worker directly rather than drag you in.