Spurious News: Trump sends World Series congratulations to the wrong team!
PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) — This morning, King Donald Trump congratulated the World Series champions on their victory via his Truth Social app. Sports commentators and mental health experts have described the message as “the most demented thing anyone has ever seen.”
King Donald sent, “Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on their hard-fought sweep of the Colorado Rockies in the 2025 World Series! Their victory shows the value of Real American Values. The Chiefs’ fans are true Americans who all voted for me. I hereby order all real Americans to love the Kansas City Chiefs under pain of death.”
Reaction was swift and united.
From the Office of the Commissioner of Baseball: “President Trump, have you gone out of your fucking mind? The Chiefs couldn’t have won the World Series because they are not a baseball team. Are you really this stupid or are you trying to get people to forget you tore down the White House?”
From political pundit and baseball expert Keith Olbermann: “Dude, just release the Epstein Files already.”
From Hall of Famer Ichiro Suzuki: “The Royals, who are the baseball team in Kansas City, finished five games out of the Wild Card hunt and the Rockies finished fifty games out of first in the NL West. I guess he’s trying to get people to forget he’s starving babies.”
Sarah Harrison, MD, Chief of Inpatient Services at the Psychiatric Institute of Washington, writes: “We’ve made an appointment to admit President Trump at 9:30 am Monday for a 72-hour emergency hold. Please bring him in with his insurance card.”
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In this year’s World Series, either way tRump loses! Either it was the victorious LA Dodgers (from Gavin Newsom’s “deranged liberals” state) or his new arch-nemesis, Canada….
