Oh, OK. NOW I get it.

[bunnies]

If I walk into a JC Penney store with my ghastly female breasts exposed I will be arrested for insulting the "decent" people with the horrors of my body. You know, that thing we ALL have that many people believe is a creation of God. We cant have me running around traumatizing little kids & stuff. They could be damaged FOREVER!

but If I walk into a JC Penney store with a military grade weapon on my back, one that could tear to shreds many of "Gods creations" in a matter of seconds heh. Nothing to fret over! It would be my RIGHT!

Makes perfect sense to me now.

[zappaman]

1. How do you know you will be arrested?

Have you tried to walk around there with your breasts exposed?
If you are planning to, can you supply a location, date and time?

But it is ridiculous...

[bunnies]

2. lol

did I say arrested? I meant drooled on.

[2ndAmendmentRights]

33. Wait, what?

Wait, what?

[RobertEarl]

3. Man says:

I can show my cute hard rifle in store, but not my dangerous deadly dick.

[backscatter712]

8. This is my rifle, this is my gun!

This is for fighting, this is for fun!

[ReRe]

22. You're a poet, and maybe you know it?...

.... that was brilliantly funny!!!

[Sekhmets Daughter]

27. It dates back to WW II at least.

[ReRe]

29. Well thanks for posting it...

...because this old buzzard hadn't heard it. Or maybe I don't remember it?

[Sekhmets Daughter]

30. Sorry...

It just brought back memories of my younger brother saying in within earshot of my father...who burst out laughing and said he couldn't believe it was still around. My dad was WW II vet.

[ReRe]

31. Well, God Bless your Daddy!

.... and may he rest in eternal PEACE. What a beautiful memory. I hope you're writing all those memories down to leave for your descendents. A hundred years from now, they will love you for it!

[Sekhmets Daughter]

32. I really should...

Although, my children already know quite a bit about him from knowing him when they were little and from my using so many of his expressions. My favorite is "...shit or go blind" He would say "I'm so angry I don't know whether to shit or go blind" Or if someone did something really dumb, he's say... "He's so confused he doesn't know whether to ..."

[ReRe]

35. You can't trust your kids...

they will forget something and by the time 100 years pass, no one will know anything about their ggg grandaddy that's laying in your Daddy's grave. I have heard the 'shit or go blind', and as an ending to your last one. Seriously, get one of those little composition books (that we used in Eng Comp) and get going. Every time something comes back to you, write it down.

[csziggy]

38. Definitely write the stories down!

My grandmother did that with all the family members she could remember and stories she had heard about the ones she never knew. Our family still has those stories and it keeps alive a history that goes back two hundred years.

I recently shared some of that family history with a man who is writing the history of sawmills on Vancouver Island. Much of what was family lore about my family's short time there is history that was recorded nowhere else. Thanks to my grandmother it is now going to be conveyed to many more people.

All grandmother did was sit down and write a few pages with her memories. Nothing fancy or elaborate, but it is plenty to let us know our past.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

44. How wonderful....and yes I will. n/t

[backscatter712]

36. Very true - this one's older than dirt.

I remember seeing this one in Full Metal Jacket, when the Marine recruits are in boot camp with R. Lee Ermey.

[immoderate]

4. One is hardware...

...and the other is ... softer.

--imm

[ReRe]

23. .

you guys are cracking me up tonight!

[Hawaiianlight]

5. I prefer guns

of your caliber.

[Arctic Dave]

6. Showing people on TV being killed in violent ways gets you an award.

Showing a female breast gets you a record fine.

Saving Private Ryan > Janet Jackson's breast

[Fumesucker]

7. "She had a pair of thirty eights

She also had a gun."

I think that came from Firesign Theater IIRC.

Not that half the customers would even notice the gun in the first place.

[WinstonSmith4740]

20. Dude!

Firesign Theater! Haven't even heard them referenced in years! Serious flashback to college days.

We just lost Peter Bergman last year...used to listen to him on KPFK in LA during the darkness of Reagan/Bush and Bush/Quayle. He and "Scout" used to get me through the day.

[csziggy]

39. Nick Danger?

Gotta be that or W. C. Fields.

[marions ghost]

9. You make a good point & it's not funny ...

But how about tit for tat? This might damage little kids too:

http://www.bustyheart.com/

[bunnies]

10. youre paying for my therapy. nt

[marions ghost]

13. OK

I know that was bad...

Seriously. I take your point. But somehow when faced with the level of this gun nuttiness, it just makes me do weird things...

[bunnies]

11. omg. nt

[Hawaiianlight]

12. WMDDs

[marions ghost]

14. Yeah

she's packin all right

America's got talent.

[Drunken Irishman]

19. Now that's what I call knockers...knock you right out.

[Maynar]

28. There are worse ways to go, I guess...

http://main.aol.com/2013/01/16/donna-lange-breasts-smother-kill-boyfriend-everett-washington_n_2488747.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000058?test=latestnews&ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000058

[DonRedwood]

15. Good God Bunnies! Have the decency to put a flapjack on those!!!!

[bunnies]

41. lol.

good idea. At least Id have a snack handy.

[DonRedwood]

48. I wondered if you'd seen this... :0)

I'd guessed, from your posting, that you would have got a laugh out of that.

[rocktivity]

16. Apparently, it's legal in Utah if the weapon isn't loaded

Did JC Penney ensure that the weapon wasn't loaded before he was allowed on the premises? Surely they had the right to do that.


rocktivity

[Spitfire of ATJ]

17. This time of the year???

You could put someone's eye out with those.

[bunnies]

42. Maybe I could set up a glass etching booth at the mall!

[matt819]

18. My e-mail to JCP and their response, and my response

IN reverse chronological order:



I can appreciate the need to respond with form letters, but this response, given my initial e-mail, seems pretty silly. For example, I refer to shoppers openly carrying assault weapons, and you reply by telling me that you are dreaming up new ways to make me love shopping. Interesting juxtaposition. I can’t imagine loving shopping – anywhere – with my fellow shoppers carrying assault rifles.

No need to follow up. I would hope my point has been made.


__________________________________________
Matt,



Thank you for sharing with me your very valuable feedback. As a company founded on The Golden Rule, we consider it our top priority to treat each customer as we would like to be treated -- fair and square. We are in the process of dreaming up new ways to make you love shopping with us and your comments help us move one step closer to becoming your favorite store!



Sincerely,

Chris

Corporate Customer Care

jcp.com

Donate to jcp cares. Together we can make a difference.

___________________________________

Form Message

Subject: General Inquiries
Topic: other
Comments: Dear JCP, I saw a story online about a man in a Utah store opening carrying an assault weapon. Notwithstanding local laws I'm pretty sure its within your power to have a no-carry policy. Frankly I would be horrified to see someone openly carrying an assault weapon anywhere other than a battlefield. I'm not going to suggest that I'm never going to shop at JCP again. In this case such an assertion would be pointless.However I don't think a no-carry policy is unreasonable and I would urge you to apply this to all your stores. If you don't make even this relatively easy decision then perhaps I will reconsider shopping at JCP.
First Name: Matt

[bunnies]

43. wow.

I cant even gather the words to express how utterly ridiculous their response to you was. Talk about tone deaf!

[oldhippydude]

21. damn so many puns......... i couldn't keep abreast

[Rosa Luxemburg]

24. The right to bare ......well breasts of course - an amendment to the 2nd ammendment

[ReRe]

25. .

[Honeycombe8]

26. I get your pt. But they can't be compared; the rt to expose yourself....

isn't in a constitutional amendment.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

34. not yet

[backscatter712]

37. Didn't you know? Lady parts are Cthulhoid monstrosities!

Seeing a nipple will cause people to instantly go insane!

[csziggy]

40. Wait

Is that what is wrong with right wing nuts? They saw a nipple?!

[NNN0LHI]

45. And OMG try breastfeeding your child there once

Last edited Sat Jan 19, 2013, 01:45 PM - Edit history (1)

Going straight to Gitmo for that.

Don

[bunnies]

47. Breastfeeding! Gasp! Think of the children!

Oh wait...

[JNelson6563]

46. Try nursing a circumcised pit bull @Olive Garden!

That's when shit gets real.