Cynthia Nixon says she's gay by 'choice.' Is it really a choice?

[XemaSab]

Former “Sex and the City” star Cynthia Nixon says she is gay by “choice” – a statement that has riled many gay rights activitists who insist that people don’t choose their sexual orientation.

Here’s what Nixon, who recently shaved her head to play a cancer patient in a Broadway production of “Wit,” told the New York Times Magazine:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

The question of whether sexual orientation is subject to nature or nurture – or some combination of both – has been hotly debated for years. If it is not an immutable characteristic, that would imply that a gay person could be somehow transformed into a straight one. In other words, homosexuality could be “cured.” Which in turn implies that being gay is some sort of illness.

http://www.latimes.com/health/boostershots/la-heb-cynthia-nixon-gay-by-choice-20120125,0,2504094.story

[JI7]

1. maybe she is bisexual

but prefers to be in same sex relations over opposite sex ? so it's a choice in that way ?

[MrScorpio]

31. I willing to think that she's Tri-Sexual instead

She'll pretty much try anything.

[eShirl]

2. it's as much a choice as being hetero

that said, to me she sounds like she's describing herself as bisexual

[stevenleser]

3. This is simple, the gender of your partner can appear to be a choice if you are Bisexual or...

I dont think there is any cause for outrage here and there is really nothing wrong with what Cynthia said. Either she is bisexual or she was gay all along and had no hope of being happy in a relationship with a man.

No biggie. It's only an issue because of the bigots. They should not be the ones exerting influence on a discussion from afar.

[limpyhobbler]

4. I can understand why gay people would be concerned with what she said

because some progress is being made for equal rights, and some of it might be predicated on people understanding that being gay is not a choice. And then when you've got freaks like Michelle Bachmann's husband out there trying to de-program people, it could lend ammunition to that crew.

I think the most interesting part of what Cynthia Nixon said was this:

Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.

She's got a good point there.

[XemaSab]

8. I have a friend who claims to have chosen to be gay

Her argument is that you don't lose your civil rights when you "choose" to change religions, so why should you lose your civil rights when you "choose" to be gay?

[Blue_Tires]

26. +1

I've had endless debates with religious friends and relatives who say it's a lifestyle choice or taking up a habit like smoking...

And like a smoking habit, they truly believe it's something you can be "cured" from...

[rocktivity]

5. Maybe you're taking her too literally

Maybe she means she's chosen to embrace her sexual orientation and live her live as a gay person.


rocktivity

[TreasonousBastard]

6. Why not? "Nature or nurture" has been argued for years and...

will continue to be argued. So will free will and choice.

Few, if any, of us are 100% straight or gay, and lots of things got us leaning one way or the other over our lives. To deny any choice at all in the matter is simply more fear and bigotry.

[ZombieHorde]

7. She is probably bi.

People who are bi, and want to be in long term relationships, have a choice in a way.

[David__77]

9. I've said I choose to be gay before. So what?

Some people get all offended, including straight people, which is really funny to me.

I do NOT think that homosexual-orientation is a "choice." Now is basic sexual orientation generally. But I choose to be gay and positive about that. I could certainly live as a straight person if I had so chosen. But I would find that unfulfilling. From the age of 14, I consciously embraced being gay and I'm proud of the "choice" that was involved.

There's nothing wrong with homosexuality whether or not it's biological or "choice" or whatever.

[provis99]

10. so what if it's a choice or not?

It's ok either way. People need to get off her case.

[loyalsister]

11. It fits the continuum

One perspective I have learned is that sexuality is a continuum with a defined preference of homosexuality at one end and heterosexuality at the other.
The center would be bisexuality to a degree that they are not fully satisfied with fully excluding one or the other.

Then, as one moves toward the center there is a range where one might experiment under social pressure, voluntarily, or in the center they would live a life seeking out both experiences.
Under that assumption, a person who was willing to experiment might eventually decide that they definitely prefer one over another after having had both experiences.
Why not? IMO, that doesn't negate the idea that for many (maybe most?) there is no possible choice to be made.

I'm sure that there are many who don't like that explanation, but I find it inclusive because any and all preferences on that continuum are understood as natural.

[BootinUp]

12. She wouldn't be the first person who is a little confused

isn't she from the South? Like Georgia or something?

[Behind the Aegis]

13. New York City.

How does that affect your "theory" now?

[BootinUp]

14. Not a whole lot I guess

I still tend to believe that sexual orientation is partly in the genes and that attitudes are partly affected by environment.

[Behind the Aegis]

15. Seems it does affect it, unless you think New York City is in the South.

[BootinUp]

16. A fucking mind reading blogger. nt

[Behind the Aegis]

17. I don't need to be a mind reader, your comment was rather obvious.

[BootinUp]

18. well thats your opinion and you're sticking to it.

[Behind the Aegis]

19. Apparently, so are you.

[TheCruces]

20. Well, she followed this up by stating she was bisexual, but nobody likes the bisexuals

I understood what she was saying when I read this. Personally, I care enjoy sex with either a male or female partner. I am a bit more physically attracted to women, though. And I can not imagine having an actual relationship with a man. I don't think I could form that sort of emotional bond with a man.

[closeupready]

21. Fine with me. She can be whoever she wants to be. It's a free country.

K&R

[closeupready]

22. Though I will add that for me personally, I'm 100% gay, not bi in any way at all.

Gay, Gay Gay! For others, it may be different. Everyone does not need to conform to silly, arbitrary religious mystical superstition about "good sexuality" and "bad sexuality".

[MineralMan]

23. This is one person's description of herself.

Perhaps she's bisexual. I don't know. But she's describing her personal perception of herself. I don't see that it applies to anyone else. Just her. Some people live part of their lives in heterosexual relationships and another in same-sex relationships. That is a fact. Each person has his or her own experience and feelings about themselves, so her description is hers alone.

In any case, I've been a fan of hers since she appeared in Amadeus. I remember thinking that she was going to go on to do other parts at the time, even though her role in that film was a minor one.

[aquart]

29. She began in live theater very young. I remember her from Circle Rep.

[MrScorpio]

32. My goodness, I'd swear that that was Amy Adams nt

[Lucinda]

35. She's getting great reviews in Wit on Broadway right now.

Talented lady.

[Monty22001]

39. Yep

That is how I always remember her. Good girl there.

[phleshdef]

24. There is no end all, be all rule on sexuality in regards to choice vs genetics. Everyones different.

I believe some people are born predisposed towards attraction to the opposite sex while others are born predisposed towards attraction to the same sex.

I believe some people start off naturally attracted to the opposite sex and discover attraction to the same sex later in life.

I believe some people start off naturally attracted to both sexes but tend to prefer one over the other for whatever reason (and thus could be gay by choice if they decide they like the same sex vs the opposite sex).

The argument of "gay by choice" vs "gay by birth" should be irrelevant anyway. It really shouldn't matter who people want to have a sexual relationship with as long as its between consenting adults. But regardless, everyone is different and everyone has their own reasons for who and what they are attracted to. I tend to think that most people who are gay were born gay, but that isn't always the case.

[lumberjack_jeff]

25. A bisexual person who wants to be monogamous does choose.

But that doesn't mean that orientation isn't hard wired. The issue is if it's hardwired to a switch or a dial.

[WingDinger]

28. The so what is: Those fighting for gay rights THINK that it being congenital is required.

That way, it can be like being black, or disabled etc. Then, it would be a protected minority. I think this is a weak stance. And making nature uphold our notions, or die, is a faulty direction.

Gays should be protected, just like everyone else. To claim to need social promotion, would kill much of the recent gains. Gays are not wards, in any sense. They are citizens.

As it was taught to me, sexual identification occurs around two. Much of your personality and proclivities occur then too. So, while it might be accurately claimed that gay is a choice, it is a lot like loving or hating brocolli. You always remembering feeling like you do now. And the distinction is moot, unless pushing for affirmative action, which would be counterproductive.

I feel it has little to do with the haters claiming they can CURE gayness. Those are just homophobes. And NOONE need subject themselves to those quacks.

[Heddi]

30. I'm a bisexual female, married to a straight male

So i get what she's saying.

I've known I've been bisexual since I was about 5, and couldn't figure out why I couldn't be "girlfriends" with Cynthia, the other girl in Kindergarten that I had a crush on, since I was "girlfriend" with Lawrence, the frankenstein-haired boy I had a crush on as well.

There have been times when I've been exclusively with other women, and times when I've been exclusively with men. I'm at a point in my life now where I am with both, and it's pretty fucking awesome.

[bhikkhu]

33. Its a free country (or at least it should be)...

I'd certainly not get in line to tell her what she should be thinking about who she is. She feels the need to try to explain publicly what she feels and who she is and how she understands things, and then it devolves into a long-running argument-by-blog-and-forum amongst strangers about how she should feel and who she really is and how she really understands nothing...I suppose it goes without saying that there is a lot that needs to be worked out on the issue, before we can all have our private lives in peace again.

[Howler]

34. isnt the correct term for mizz Nixon...

Bisexual? DoH! Nevermind She said it herself "Bisexual"

[cherokeeprogressive]

36. My daughter (who's working on being my son) says no. n/t

[Capitalocracy]

37. Honestly, who cares whether or not it's a choice?

If it's a choice, it's a choice that has no negative impact on you or society or anyone else, and it's a choice you have a right to.

But I think it's safe to say that for many people it's not a choice. I don't remember when I chose to be straight.

[Demonaut]

38. She's not saying it's always a choice...just for her, her lust does go both ways

she has two children from a hetero relationship

[Rosa Luxemburg]

40. how can one be gay by choice?

I agree there are varying degrees of 'gayness', but choice is the wrong word?

[JSnuffy]

41. If she says it's a choice for her... then it is...

... but that doesn't mean that it is the same for everyone.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

42. To deny that sexual orientation is ever a choice is a purely faith-based position.

The majority of people say that their sexual orientation is/was not a choice; a non-trivial minority say that it is/was.

In the absence of any evidence that either group are lying, to claim that sexual orientation is not a choice for anyone is a purely faith-based position, which is to say a very silly one.

It's one which I consider extremely rude to those people who say that it was - you're effectively calling them liars, and saying that you know what's going on in their heads better than they do, without any evidence to back that up - but it does significantly less harm than those people who claim that sexual orientation is always a choice.

[Better Believe It]

43. Yes it is. Why not just except her view?

For some it is a choice and for others it isn't.

What's so hard to understand about that?

[rusty fender]

44. What it comes down to is it's no one's fucking business but

your own! The only ones who care are the Rick Santorums of the world. These people are sick busy bodies. For many people their sexuality is fluid throughout their lives. It's no body's business but our own.

[Blue_In_AK]

45. She's bisexual.

So what?