Robertson: Worth Praying Over Clothes to Rebuke Demons

[The Straight Story]

Today on the 700 Club, televangelist Pat Robertson said that demons can attach themselves to material goods and therefore it’s not a bad idea to rebuke them before bringing them into your home.

After a viewer, Carrie, asked whether to follow her mom’s recommendation to pray away demonic spirits over her secondhand sweaters, Robertson recounted a story about “a witch who had prayed over a particular ring and asked for a spirit to come into it, and this Philippine girl was so attached to this ring, she had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was.”

“Can demonic spirits attach themselves to inanimate objects, the answer is yes,” Robertson said.

While Robertson noted that people don’t have to worry that every item they purchase is possessed by demons, he added: “Hey, it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/robertson-worth-praying-over-clothes-rebuke-demons

[Deep13]

1. That is hilarious.

Robertson never fails to entertain.

[supernova]

2. I feel fairly certain...

that those evil spirits reside in that teased hairdo of his and not in a second hand sweater!

[pinboy3niner]

3. Especially Satin, damnask and orgasmnza

[Apophis]

4. I can't believe people still believe these silly notions.

This is both sad and laughable.

[Permanut]

5. K& R for exposing this fraud..

Everyone knows that demons sneak into your home attached to liberals, Amway salespeople, Jehovah's Witnesses, atheists, gun control advocates, Democrats, pro-choice activists, and Mothers-in-Law. Could be their clothes, though, I guess.

[petronius]

6. Well, it's just common sense. Personally, I rebuke the demons right there at the counter,

after handing over the money but before picking up the item. You can't be too careful when dealing with demons...

[The Straight Story]

7. Sometimes I slap the clerk on the forehead as well and yell praise jeebus

that will help wash out that demons as they handle the clothes all day.

[Skidmore]

8. When this jerk dies,

I hope he finds himself wandering in a vast plain of nothingness for eternity. Just nothing. Total sensory deprivation and awareness of it. It would be eternal justice for his neverending assault on the universe.

[MineralMan]

18. When he dies, he'll simply cease to exist,

just like all the rest of living creatures. There won't be any surprises, since there won't be any Pat to be surprised.

[Javaman]

21. Personally...

I'll find his grave to do a little soft shoe.

[BuddhaGirl]

47. Indeed!!

Either that, or come back as an ant, or fly

[joeybee12]

9. Well, leisure suits need to be rebuked...

Then (1970) and now.

[bermudat]

10. I saw this on the tv show Supernatural.

That is a fantasy show.

[Enrique]

11. that's why I go to St. Vinnies

they have an exorcist on staff that takes care of the demons for you.

[Buns_of_Fire]

12. I've had to severely chastise my pants occasionally.

When the zipper goes zombie on me and bites me in a fairly sensitive spot. I didn't know it was because they were demonically possessed. Thanks, Pat.

[MineralMan]

17. Going commando comes with built-in risks.

Always pray before zipping. It's your only salvation.

[JHB]

13. There's a proper procedure to this: 1) lay out the clothes before you (and their new owner...);

...who must stand next to you);

2) Raise your arms and pray "Dear Lord, beloved Jesus who dies for the sins of all mankind, we beseech you, we beseech you, we beseech you to cast out..."

3) turn to the person, lay your hands upon their forehead, "...the gullibility from your faithful."

(of course, if that works too well,...)

[LiberalFighter]

14. People should send their clothes to him ala carte Ted Nugent

[Initech]

15. Really it's 2013 and people are still worried about demons????

[Arugula Latte]

23. Oh, but it's his "Faith," so it's okay. If he didn't call it "Faith" he'd be committed.

[patrice]

33. Send money and don't worry, everything'll be mediocre, but at least those demons won't get us. nt

[Initech]

43. And don't forget to buy the DVD!

[patrice]

45. DVD? Whatsat?? Have mp3s been Raptured? Oh dang! You've been Left Behind, Pat!!

[MineralMan]

16. Worth remembering that modern pharmacology has

medications for all sorts of delusional illnesses, Pat.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

19. "Demagogue: one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots."

H. L. Mencken

[Javaman]

20. Ah so this is why electronics hate me!

[The Straight Story]

22. You need to pray more. Mine has a bill gates demon in it, always crashing (nt)

[Javaman]

24. I think you are right, my repeated sacificing of pepsi on the keyboard doesn't seem to be working.

LOL

Cheers!

[patrice]

37. My bill gates demon keeps riding broncos across by browser tabs turning 'em all into cookie monsters

[Ikonoklast]

25. Little known fact...Beelzebub loves Apple products.

Just a little heads up.

[Initech]

27. I think my DVD player might be possessed.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. I know my clothes are possessed.

I hang them up in the closet, don't wear them for a few months, then put them on and OMG, they've shrunk! It has to be demons, no other explanation.

[Arugula Latte]

28. Dear Pat: Please pray for my dickie. It is naughty. Thank you and amen.

Last edited Tue Feb 26, 2013, 06:51 PM - Edit history (1)

[riqster]

40. Best. Post. Ever. nt

[patrice]

42. Agree.

[Peter cotton]

29. The term "witch doctor" seems a reasonable way to describe him at this point.

[patrice]

30. The Chinese are not demons; they just work for waaaay less than we do . . .

and prayin' ain't gonna make them go away, Pat.

[surrealAmerican]

31. Why only the second-hand clothes?

Surely, any number of evil spells might be put in your clothes in the factory or the fabric mill or the cotton field or the chemical plant ...


... and what about other consumer goods?

... and what about your house itself, and every single thing it's made of?


One cursed iron mine could damn all your followers, Pat!

[backscatter712]

32. Every day, Pat becomes more like Herbert from Family Guy.

He's just too feeble to be much of a threat these days.

[get the red out]

34. Laundry?

Dry cleaning? Might make them smell better.

[HockeyMom]

35. John Zaffis is stealing his show

as in Haunted Collected.

[Iggo]

36. Morons.

[Warren DeMontague]

38. That's why they call me

Warren DEMON-tague!

[Blue Owl]

39. Just use EXOR, the bold new detergent for fundamentalists

C'mon Pat, squeeze some more money from your feeble-minded fundie followers...

[Ian David]

41. I am *so* going to walk down the aisles of Wal-Mart attaching demons to things...

... in people's shopping carts.

I want to see if they put them back on the shelves.

[TrogL]

44. I use UNIX. It makes use of daemons. What prayer should I use?

[Canuckistanian]

46. Ah, I see he's progressed

To the 13th century.