When the word 'b*tch' is used an insult, do you perceive it as sexist/misogynist?

[redqueen]

Please note that I am simply curious what people think about the insult, I am not attempting to tell other people what to think.

Also, for anyone who finds this question uninteresting or unimportant there is always the option of not participating in the discussion or even trashing the thread entirely. Yes, it has been discussed before, and so have many other topics.

As for me, I think that it is, of course.

P.S. Please let's keep this discussion civil. It is about the idea of whether or not individuals consider these terms sexist/misogynist. Not about individuals, or their histories, or anything personal like that. Thank you.

[bluedigger]

1. As a noun, yes. As a verb, no.

Probably inconsistent and open to criticism, but it is what it is.

[cali]

2. hi, redqueen. I think it depends

on context and who's using it. I don't, for instance, equate calling someone a bitch with calling someone the c word. When a man calls another man "a little bitch" it's clearly sexist.

I guess, on the whole I don't find bitch when used as an insult to be sexist. I also have no problem with men joining a conversation like this.

[redqueen]

7. Oh no, I don't have a problem with men participating in these discussions.

It's not that strong a feeling. Just a sense of, I don't know, something odd.

I guess its because I wouldn't participate in discussions about whether other words were offensive to other groups.

Anyway that's a side issue so I just deleted that from the OP.

[MineralMan]

3. I do. I don't perceive it that way when when it is used as a verb

so much, but as a personal insult, yes, I see it as sexist and misogynistic. And that's true whether I like the person being called that or not.

ETA: when it's used as an adjective (bitchy) I see it as misogynistic, but "bitchin'" not so much. Of course nobody says anything is "bitchin" any more. I'm old.

[cliffordu]

9. I use 'bitchin' all the time.

I get the oddest looks from the young folk.

[MineralMan]

10. Odd looks? Fancy that...

I think it's a far out word. Makes me want to grab my long board and find some bitchin' waves. But, living here in Minnesota, that would be futile.

[cliffordu]

13. I was gonna mention surfboards......

And, yep, saying 'far out' will get the same puzzled glances.....

I still say "That's cool" all the time.......

My lovely savannah had a female friend of hers come and stay for a couple nights - they are of a younger generation - and everytime her friend called Savannah "dude" I twitched....

Just odd slang......

[uppityperson]

42. A few yrs back, my teen kid scolded me for using "spiffy" as he thought he'd thought it up,

used it and I was mocking him. I had to laugh.

[Kurska]

4. Depends on the context, it is sort of like the word f*ggot to me.

Me, my boyfriend and our close gay friends will sometimes jokingly call each other f*ggots. I don't have a problem with that, because using the word in a joking way helps strip it of the abillity to wound.

Yet if someone called me f*ggot on the street after kissing my boyfriend, I'd probably perform some other legal action that isn't beating the holy hell out of them (hint hint).

I view it the same way for b*tch. If someone jokingly called a close friend a "total b*tch" it is probably a jest meant in good fun. But if I heard someone talking about a female supervisor in that manner calling her a b*tch or even a c*nt I'd think it was sexist.

[redqueen]

12. Yes, thank you... I agree that among friends that's an entirely different situation. nt

[sadbear]

5. Depends on context.

Is that too odd?

[cliffordu]

6. When I hear my lovely Savannah or my sister or mother use it, no.

None of my male friends use the word.

I have in the past, but no longer do so.

Funny -

I never see anyone complain about the phrase "son of a bitch"...or at least I cannot remember any.

[redqueen]

14. That insult is sexist as well.

It insults the target by implying their.mother is a b*tch. Not sure how anyone would see that differently.

[cliffordu]

15. My point was that it's not alerted on around here as far as I can recall.

That's all -

You are completely correct, it is a grave insult.

Funny I never see 'motherfucker' alerted on, either.

Talk about grave insults.....

[redqueen]

18. I make no assumptions about what is alerted or how often.

There's simply no way to know.

As for MF, that seems to be simply vulgar. I wouldn't expect many people to have an issue with garden variety vulgarity on a progressive board.

[bemildred]

8. Yes. nt

[Starry Messenger]

11. Yes.

I don't know why people try to split hairs on it.

When used in a non-insult context, every adult understands the usage is not a gendered slur.

When someone uses it in anger on a person in an attempt to diminish, it's not a fucking compliment.

[we can do it]

43. No-but this pretty much sums up my thoughts, though some people will be offended no matter what.

[Gormy Cuss]

62. +1

That's exactly where I would split on usage too.

[phleshdef]

16. No. Because our society no longer widely regards it as such.

People generally are not inferring that women are in any way inferior to men by calling a specific person a "bitch", just as no one is inferring that something inherently wrong with men whenever someone calls someone else a "dickhead".

Certain words that might have, at one time, had very sexist connotations, no longer have them, because pop culture collectively decided as such. That's just the way it works. Society decides, not you or me alone.

At the end of the day, I think you know if there are sexist intentions behind something. And I think you know that most people are not using such words with sexist intentions. And when you pretend there are sexist intentions when there aren't any, you do nothing but muddy up the cause and turn regular people away from it. It hurts the fight against real and true sexism.

[TheCowsCameHome]

17. No,

not really.

[Egalitarian Thug]

19. I don't see how it can't be, except when used as a verb. I think of that as neutral. n/t

[The Straight Story]

20. Depends really IMHO

I think of the term 'bitching' as complaining and can see a man or woman as a bitch.

Comes down to how the person uttering it is using it and the person hearing it takes it. Like here here in the hood people call each other all sorts of things that DU would probably hide/ban them over because we see them as less civilized than us.

People can joke around, re-use certain words in their own way, and not hate on a particular group over it because they don't use the word in the associative way.

If the majority here see it as offensive and don't want to see it in print, fine, not my board or my rules. But to say, or believe, anyone using it is being sexist seems to be a tad limiting and almost arrogant that no one can use words in a different context in their own groups/cliques/etc.

[redqueen]

22. Using a bigoted word and being a bigot are two different things.

I have nothing against people with learning disabilities but I used to use the r word until I learned how hurtful it could be to them and their loved ones.

If done in honest ignorance then no, no personal label applies. The label in that case goes only on the word. (e.g. sexist insult, not sexist person)

If used to antagonize members of the group offended by the word, well...

[The Straight Story]

25. I agree with that

When someone intentionally uses it in a way to offend a group - but I also people don't think about it as doing so. They hear words used in movies (bitch, bastard, asshole, etc and so on) hurled about and don't sit about thinking about the entire societal context because it is aimed at one person (and may be seen as short hand; instead of telling someone to stop complaining about something they say quit yer bitching, as an example).

I use words around people I know I never would here because those people don't see those words as oppressing them or harming them and those people use the same words.

In a larger setting, such as here, I am more careful since I don't know people well enough or how they take things (usually I am, not always).

[loyalsister]

21. I have a model for insult language that has evolved

and it is changing. I remember telling my younger sister that she couldn't call me a "brat" because I was older. lol As I grew I thought that if you wanted to throw an insult, it was "asshole" for men and "bitch" for women.
At this point, I may say "ass," but I find the word "asshole" disgusting and just say ass or jerk. Bitch is different to me altogether. I love the song that tries to reclaim it but I don't think there has been any kind of universal effect. I do see it as sexist - the reference to a female dog. I remember the scene from Coal Miners Daughter where she referred to a sow as a "woman pig."
Aside from all of that, I think language can have a painful effect and should be considered in our daily lives. It is a piece of emotional abuse and is something that is distinguished from mainstream language when evaluating the attitudes and temperament of an abuser.

I may be that it distinguishes attitudes in relationships especially in a way that is important.

[snooper2]

23. I'm having a bitch of a time trying to figure out

how to respond to this thread ....



oh wait...

[LittleBlue]

24. No, but I can understand why some people do

Some of it is generational. If you're like me, a 20 something, you've been immersed in this word since our first exposure to popular culture. Music, TV, movies, games, books and sports. Men using it against women, men using it against men, women using it against women, etc. It's probably the most diverse curse word in existence for us, and can mean virtually anything.

"B*tch" is still occasionally used as a word to put down women. Just like the n-word is used against blacks, but when experienced through modern music and other entertainment, it has taken on a meaning that isn't intended as it was historically. The word is still similar, but the venom is gone because it's used in different contexts and frequently comedy.

[s-cubed]

26. Yes

[Trajan]

27. Please note ...

The shit stirring never stops

[redqueen]

30. Please note

that I haven't said anything about people using it.

I haven't said I'm tired of it, or described them using any insulting or demeaning adjectives, or accused them of anything, or anything else that one might construe as shit-stirring.

This is a civil discussion so far. Can we please keep it that way?

[Scout]

28. yes, of course it is. n/t

[MadHound]

29. I have a question, and please don't take it the wrong way.

I never get involved in these sorts of threads because they turn into flamewars in the blink of an eye, and lead to more flamewars in Meta and elsewhere. People's feelings get hurt, horrible things are said, shit is flung, on and on it goes, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks, once in awhile for months.

So why do you start these posts? Do you like watching DU burn?

[redqueen]

32. See post 30.

I gave my reason in the OP.

I'm curious how more than just a few people view it. That's it.

[MadHound]

35. And we've had these same sort of threads before,

And while they may start out reasonable and civil, they will erupt into all consuming flamewars. So why even start them anymore? Aren't the examples of the past dozen or so flamewars, flamewars that started out as innocent questions as yours, enough for you?

[redqueen]

36. Did my thread about the p word erupt into a flamewar?

No, it didn't

You do know that you've started more than a few flamewars yourself over the years, right? About issues that had been discussed before, even?

[MadHound]

38. It didn't? Are you blind?

It not only became a flame war, but started fires in Meta and elsewhere. Do you like to watch DU burn?

[redqueen]

40. There were three or four people who got into flamey arguments.

Surely you're not saying that is in ANY WAY unique for DU.

And again, you've started your fair share, and I doubt you mourned 'DU burning' as you participated in those flamefests of your own.

I also disagree that that thread started anything in meta.

[MadHound]

45. Three or four?

It was three hundred and eighteen posts of nothing but burn, baby, burn. It not only set GD ablaze, but Meta as well.

Yes, I've started a few, but mine were based around issues, not words, and I did not set them out there knowing that they would go up. That is what you're doing here.

Look, go have your fun, I'm outta here. But sooner or later, playing with this sort of shit, time and again, pissing more and more people off, it's going to catch up with you. Just a friendly word of advice.

[lumberjack_jeff]

47. I suspect they are started in the hopes that the right people will self-immolate. n/t

[msanthrope]

91. Every pot has its lid, they say....nt

[tkmorris]

31. It depends entirely on context

Most things do.

[Hayabusa]

33. Generally, I don't.

I understand that it was likely conceived as a sexist insult, but I don't think that it's modern use is sexist for the most part. It refers to a mean and disagreeable person that happens to be female, if it's a guy, you use "dick".

[Warpy]

34. I perceive it as an insult

but no worse than calling some pig ignorant oaf a peckerhead.

Gender specific insults aren't always misogynist or misandrist.

Sometimes, they are just insults.

[cherokeeprogressive]

37. When someone calls me a "Son of a Bitch" it never strikes me as sexual in any way.

Then again, I don't parse phrases looking for reasons to be insulted and if I've been called a "Son of a Bitch", I probably deserved it.

[union_maid]

39. Not necessarily

If a woman pisses you off and you are inclined to call people names, "bitch" is going to come to mind. If it's a man, you might say "prick", "dick" or "dickhead". Or at least a lot of people might. All equally gender specific epitaphs. Sexist, perhaps, but it's a kind of convoluted sexism and probably not really meant that way, necessarily. Intent means a lot.

[RebelOne]

41. Nope, I have frequently called myself a bitch.

And I can be when I become angry.

[uppityperson]

44. Female, almost 60, yes of course it is.

[sagat]

46. No way.

[myrna minx]

48. If I'm within my own sub-groups (artists, women, LGBTIQ) in our private settings, I'm fine with it

but if a coworker or a stranger freely flings it as an insult to me or a loved one I find it sexist as well as, depending on the situation, homophobic. It's all about the context.

[redqueen]

49. Indeed it is, all about the context.

Thanks for also mentioning the LGBTQ aspect.

[BainsBane]

64. good point nt

[justiceischeap]

50. I think it's like anything that can be used to be insulting

It depends on context, intent and environment.

[Sissyk]

51. To me, it's not.

It's just an insult if used that way. I have used it IRL as an insult because I intended to insult.

My friends and I also use it with each other occasionally and don't mean it as an insult.

I can honestly say, I've never had anyone I didn't know throw bitch at me as an insult. I'm sure it would piss me off royally if someone did! But, if it happened, I'd probably deserve it. lol!

However, I don't use it here in the context of an insult.

[OKNancy]

52. When Marsha Blackburn spouts her crap on MSNBC

I'm a total sexist.. I call her bitch and turn the station.

[noiretextatique]

53. of course it is a sexist, misogynist insult...but

it depends on the context in which the word is used. if some republicon jackass calls hillary clinton a bitch, i don't think HE would mean is as a compliment devoid of its traditional cultural meaning, which is very negative. if one of my close friends called me a bitch, i would take it as a compliment, unless of course it was meant to be a perjorative.

[RadiationTherapy]

54. The roots of the insult is sexist, but I see it as a superior/inferior referential

which also turns me off in a big way.

[redqueen]

57. Ah, yes...

The dynamics of hierarchy... domination, power over, declaring inferiority... good insight. That is a huge part of this of course.

Thank you.

[Little Star]

55. I certainly do if it is used to insult or demean anyone.

[marybourg]

56. Absolutely!

[MrSlayer]

58. No, it's so saturated that it's become gender neutral.

I don't give these things much consideration at all really because in general, I don't care.

[Luminous Animal]

59. Yes, I do. It is also sexist when referring to any generic woman.

My 23 year old daughter thinks the same. (I just asked her.)

[etherealtruth]

60. Yes, yes I do

I generally see it as a pejorative hurled almost exclusively at women. Just as the word slut is a pejorative generally hurled at women.

When the word "bitch" is used as a verb, I don't perceive it as sexist/ misogynistic.

[MyshkinCommaPrince]

61. Sometimes, yes.

It depends on when and how it's used, by whom, and who or what is the target of the insult. Sometimes an apparent insult wasn't intended as such. But I'm probably focusing on the insult portion of the question more than the sexist part.

I tend to avoid the word, myself, but I also try to avoid deliberately insulting people.

[BainsBane]

63. Yes, when used as an insult, always

If it's directed at a woman, it demeans her. If directed at a man, it seeks to belittle his masculinity.

There are ways the word is used when it is not insulting: karma is a bitch, for example.

[petronius]

65. Generally speaking, yes. As an insult, or even as a verb, it seems to me that

the meaning depends on gender-based stereotypes. Since it relies on sexist stereotypes, the insult becomes sexist...

[Buzz Clik]

66. The one billion times this question was asked on DU ....

... my answer was the same as it is now.

[quinnox]

67. I look at words as being totally neutral

As always, it depends on how they are used. Even a word considered non-offensive can be used as an insult by someone clever. "Bitch" is so common and used even in rock songs that I think it is in the category of "Fuck" in terms of its popularity.

[WinkyDink]

72. Indeed? How about the "n" word? Neutral?

[quinnox]

74. yes, neutral, because it is often used by blacks in a friendly way for their buddies

whereas a white person using it is almost always showing prejudice when they use it. So two different uses, two totally different interpretations.

[Habibi]

68. No.

[annabanana]

69. Are bitch and prick equivalent?. .I've been known to use both

gender specifically of course

[geek tragedy]

82. They can mean very similar things.

But, there's a misogynistic twist on 'bitch' while one would be hard-pressed to construe 'prick' as misandrist. Having been called one on many occasions (in addition to being called a dick, asshole, etc).

[WinkyDink]

70. It depends on the context. As a woman, if I (rarely) exclaim, "Sonofabi***!" I don't

think I'm being sexist, if it's an expression of frustration.

If, however, my husband takes umbrage and then CALLS me a "bi***," yeah, SEXIST!

[RetroLounge]

71. Nope.

RL

[geek tragedy]

73. It's very context specific, with the smaller the audience being the more

likely that it can possibly be something other than a sexist/misogynist slur.

Certainly, it's a defensible position that it's the feminine version of "asshole" which for some reason tends to be used for men only.

However, the problem is that the "disagreeable personality" meaning and the "insufficiently deferential woman" meaning or the "whiny little girly man" meaning can all be simultaneously read into it in a LOT of circumstances.

Do feminists use it to describe each other? Yes, it does happen. I've heard it happen.

But, for a large forum with a wide audience, it's opening Pandora's box to declare it within the realm of acceptable discourse. That opens the floodgates for people to use it to mean "insufficiently deferential woman" or worse and just say "of course I didn't mean it like that" when challenged.

[Igel]

75. It seriously depends.

As a verb, no. I bitch fairly often. I'm male and straight. No sex/gender connotation.

As an adjective or participle or gerund (okay, "verbal noun&quot , no. It's a bitching car. It's praise, not an insult. "He's in a bitching mood" is okay.

The derivative "bitchy" is iffier. "She's in a bitchy mood" I don't find sexist. It refers to a derogatory meaning of "bitch" but I'm not sure it's human-specific. "She's in a dog of a mood" is similar.

Noun: "Bitch" referring to a straight male is definitely a put down. Sexist? In a etymologically sexist and homophobic sort of way, but if everything that was originally sexist and homophobic in English was dropped we'd have a serious slang deficit.

I'll leave aside the use of "bitch" between gay men or between women. It's often sexist, often a putdown, but those communities can sort out their own inconsistencies and rationalizations.

Male referring to a woman as a "bitch" can be sexist. On the other hand, a lot of "sexist" putdowns are sex-specific but not sex-targetted. A bitch can be a bitch in the same way that a bastard is a bastard (with slight difference in meanings), but they're both really just all-purpose put-downs that are tailored to specific groups. They don't put down the "specific" feature--a bastard doesn't put down a man for being a man--they just come with that baggage in a lot of cases. Most people I know that use this kind of language are going to refer to somebody as an "asshole" or some other non-sexist term, but if they refer to the person by name or some sex/ethnicity/race-typed attribute immediately prior to using the term then they're primed for the sex/ethnicity/racial "slur". "My supervisor is an asshole" is comparable to "Suzie's my supervisor, and she's a bitch." There may be less of a chance of "bastard" coming out for the parallel "Sam's my supervisor, and he's a bastard," but not much of one. But slurs, sexist, etc., may follow the usual kinds of psycholinguistic processes in production (an open question, as far as I know) but their interpretation by members of the groups are always taken as fighting words--even if you're quoting somebody or mean the slur to be in a paraphrase, if you say it you own it (as long as you're in the enemy group; if you're in an affine group then justification and allowance is made based on sex/ethnicity/race).

But "bitch" can also be sexist and intended to be humiliating. This can happen in a "dog in heat" sort of sense, or a "PMS" sort of sense. It's often ambiguous to outside observers (keeping in mind the in/out group preferences for parsing) but often accompanied by all kinds of nice adverbs and other adjectives to make sure the sex-targetted humiliation and insult is apparent and unmistakeable and not just imputed.

[FrodosPet]

76. We need a new word for "annoying, frequently complaining person"

One that is free of sexist connections, but doesn't make one sound like a dork the way saying "annoying, frequently complaining person" does.

The trouble with b**** is that it is too convenient. It's a one syllable word with a seething "ch" sound.

[wryter2000]

77. Of course, it's sexist

Even if used against a man, it questions his masculinity.

[blue neen]

78. Yes.

.

[Squinch]

79. I don't really. I use it a lot among my friends.

When it's used against me in anger, I think it's very uncivil, but not sexist.

I have also used the word "dick" when it works, and I have not heard objection to it on the grounds of sexism in real life.

On the anonymous internet, though, people can be more open about their real feelings about things, and I have learned here that there are some who do find both words sexist. So I am being more careful about when and how I use them.

Still use them, though.

[jollyreaper2112]

80. For me it's subjective

Bitching about something or being a bitch might sound fine or bad depending on context. I can say my friend is my boy but calling a black man boy is right out. Saying someone is being a bitch might just seem synonymous with asshole but someone saying he wants to fuck some bitches sounds pretty demeaning.

I still don't get the whole empowerment thing. If you fought a civil rights battle for white people to not call you niggers, why are you calling yourselves niggers? Changing the spelling to nigga doesn't make it different.

Likewise, queer empowerment by acting like stereotypes and calling themselves faggots doesn't make any sense to me, either. It would be like feminists saying they were going to put on a Kesha act to take back the word slut. I don't think it's going to do that, ladies. It just feeds the stereotype.

Identity politics gets snarly complicated.

[LanternWaste]

81. Yes... absolutely. Steve Pinker's wonderful book, The Stuff Of Thought

Yes... absolutely.

Steve Pinker's wonderful book, The Stuff Of Thought addresses in part, the more colorful aspects of our language, and how our usage of language reveals about both ourselves and our collective culture.

The linguist S.I. Hiyakawa observed that the last thing fish would think to study would be water; as we increasingly live in a world where words impinge on our every moment of consciousness, unpacking language helps us all understand the way it reveals and shapes our mental worlds.

It's a great read, and it really gob smacked me with premises laid out that, after reading them and seeing them defined, I could only slap my forehead and say, "Of course! It was there all along. I can't believe I've never perceived of words in that manner.

I'd recommend Pinker's book to anyone even only lightly interested in how we interact (much the same way I would recommend Paul Kennedy's Rise and Fall of the Great Powers to anyone remotely interested in how nd why some nation states achieve great power status while others with the same advantages don't). And, although he's not focusing on feminism in any way, it may open up a few new perspectives that we hadn't thought of prior to.

[KathieG]

83. No

[one_voice]

84. I always catch..

grief for saying this here, but it doesn't bother me in the least. Probably because I use it for both male and female, and use it in the same manner as I use asshole, and 'dick' I call women 'dick'/dickhead too. I use it to describe a cranky person as well, male and female.

I curse a lot, just what I do. I don't use the 'c' word, or the 'p' word, EVER. Slut, whore, skank, etc, BIG no-no. Though, I have called a guy a slut before. Hmmmm...

I respect that many here don't like the 'b' word so I don't use it here. I agree with those up thread, that say son of a 'b' is much worse than just the 'b' word, when you think about the meaning of it.

Anyhow, that's my .02.

[joeunderdog]

85. Can we just get together a list of unsanctioned insults?

I think that insults should be delivered with sensitivity and political correctness or not at all.

[niyad]

86. it is meant to be sexist/misogynist. however, when I am called a bitch, I look at the person and

say, "you say this like it's a bad thing"

another friend replies, "akc registered, darling"

and I have a button that reads, "I am not A bitch, I am The bitch. And to you, I am MS. BITCH"

[Taverner]

87. I can't say that EVERY time it is, but it can be

Damn, I should run for congress with that kind of non-answer!

[olddots]

88. I call people dicks and pricks

It comes from my lack of vocabulary and laziness so if I ever offend someone here please call me out on that instead of calling me a pig which I sometimes am but humans are not perfect.
I know guys are fools and forget to self censor and edit but most humans are bozos and stuff comes out of our mouths and pens/posts
that should be left on the floor .

[Evoman]

89. For sure.

I see it as sexist as hell to call a woman a bitch.

The word itself, however, has more context-sensitive applications than other, similar misogynistically used words. I often use the word bitch to mean complaining....and although I understand that I probably shouldn't, sometimes it just "comes out". Most of the time I use it to describe my own behaviour......i.e. I'm bitching about the pain of a blood clot I have (true story....my chemo caused me to have a tiny pulmonary embolism....and it hurts like a bitch <----there I am using it again!!!).

I also used it in the past to describe my body....I've gained some weight and I asked my girlfriend if she thought I had bitch tits. I actually felt bad saying it right after, because the word used in that way has connotations of jail violence and I hate that stuff. So I don't use it that way anymore.

There are a lot of words that don't seem "that bad" but cause other people pain. Bitch is one of those words. I don't use those words if someone complains to me about it, even if I don't see it as that bad out of respect. I'd rather people be comfortable than use language that hurts them. I don't see it as people censoring me...I won't hold back opinions or anything. But I try to be respectful of people as much as I can with language.

[redqueen]

90. This is my favorite post on this thread.

I love the way your ego plays no part in the process of understanding and showing consideration and compassion.

Posts like this give me hope.

[Evoman]

92. I have plenty of ego.

And I can sometimes be a bit of a shit head. But i've tried to turn the worst aspects of my personality into something constructive, instead of destructive and defensive.

A big part of the process is to NEVER lie. I used to be a liar, but I never do now. No matter how hard it is. I don't lie to other people and I NEVER lie to myself. After a while, it becomes easy and natural. I still do shitty things all the time....for example, I frequently use my Keurig environment destruction machine....but I don't pretend it's a good thing. I don't defend it. I admit that I'm lazy and I love the taste, so I fuck over the environment out of convenience.

For me, it's easy to understand how destructive misogynistic words are, and how porn and prostitution is, in general, a terrible thing. I don't have to pretend its a good thing or that women doing it are overjoyed at doing it just to justify rubbing one out and save my ego. And once I have that honest understanding, it hits my morality center (as tiny as it is) and I feel bad doing it. So I don't watch porn. I don't visit prostitutes. I use my imagination and and the fuel my gf gives me to light my fire, lol.



On edit: with respect to the Keurig, I'm getting close to the point where I feel guilty enough to not use it. Close, but not there yet. I suspect that when I finish chemo and I have the energy to use my burr and French press, I'll drop it. I just don't like drip coffee.....so I continue to fuck over the environment.