ABC News: Box of "Liberal Causes" stolen from DNC warehouse. Libertarians suspected.

[Poll_Blind]

Photo Credit AP

From ABC News:

Washington, DC - A refrigerator-sized cardboard box containing all the party's liberal causes has been stolen from the Democratic National Committee, sources report. The box of 'left wing' political ideas went missing sometime after being put into storage after the Democratic National Convention of 2012.

"Every two years we go to the warehouse and get the box loaded onto the truck. We open it up, dust the liberal causes off, do some restoration if necessary, and then put them on display during the convention. An intern was taking an inventory for insurance purposes and found it wasn't at the warehouse anymore." said Edith March, DNC spokesperson. "Which is ironic, because we hadn't actually insured them."

--snip--

"Well, it's not a total loss. We still have these little bobblehead statues of Ted Kennedy and Paul Wellstone from a gift shop in the lobby. Somebody had written 'liberal' on the bottom with a Sharpie so we've put those in a safe place. Oh, also...Somebody found an old 'ERA NOW!' button in their desk. We're looking into what that means and what it would take to mount the button on either of the bobbleheads. Maybe with hot glue or something."

Asked about the possibility the Democratic Party may not be able to recover the ideas, March seemed optimistic about being able to rebuild from scratch if necessary.

"We had a big brainstorm a few days ago to see what everybody remembers and so far we have: 'something about Social Security', 'there's nothing wrong with black people', and something about growing corn or maybe the sea. Didn't somebody famous write a book about corn growing in the sea? Anyway, we're getting there."

"Oh, one more!" she added, "'Old people need blankets.'"

--snip--

Sources close to the police investigation have implicated members in the local chapter of the Libertarian party in the theft. A YouTube video surfaced, showing Libertarians coaching each other on the pronunciation of phrases like 'Constitutional Rights', 'living wage' and 'old people need blankets'. Arrests are expected soon.

PB

[Comrade_McKenzie]

1. I'd rather ensure a living wage and hand out blankets to old people...

Than have an argument about hypotheticals about something that has killed ZERO people in this country.

[cthulu2016]

4. But most of all, you prefer creating false choices

[DirkGently]

19. Wow, that's some careful tiptoeing around "hundreds of murdered civilians abroad."

Gee, if drones have killed ZEEERROOO!!! people in America, there must be no problem.

Fuck.

[zbdent]

23. U.S. citizens?

and I believe the outrage on the Right is the idea that "Obama will kill U.S. citizens" (which I don't believe he has done to U.S. citizens with the drones, else we would already have heard about the "hundreds of U.S. citizens" killed - read: BENGAZI!!!), whereas the outrage by the "left" is that Obama is using drones at all to kill.

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

67. Well...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anwar_al-Aulaqi

U.S. citizens, yes. In this country, no.

In April 2010, the United States President Barack Obama placed al-Aulaqi on a list of people whom the United States Central Intelligence Agency was authorized to kill because of terrorist activities.[31][32][33] The "targeted killing" of an American citizen, sometimes described as an assassination order, was unprecedented. Al-Aulaqi's father and civil rights groups challenged the order in court.[31][33][34][35] Al-Aulaqi was believed to be in hiding in Southeast Yemen in the last years of his life.[25] The U.S. deployed unmanned aircraft (drones) in Yemen to search for and kill him,[36] firing at and failing to kill him at least once,[37] before succeeding in a fatal American drone attack in Yemen on 30 September 2011.[38] Two weeks later, al-Aulaqi's 16-year-old son, Abdulrahman al-Aulaqi, a U.S. citizen who was born in Denver, was killed by a CIA-led drone strike in Yemen.

[zbdent]

68. but the above said ...

"hundreds of civilians" ...

so, no ... not "hundreds" of U.S. citizens, apparently.

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

69. I was replyig to your comment.

"...is the idea that "Obama will kill U.S. citizens" (which I don't believe he has done to U.S. citizens with the drones..."

It's been done. Not wholesale, not 100s though.

[DirkGently]

72. Yes, "hundreds of civilians." You're making the "dead foreigners don't count" argument?

[ConservativeDemocrat]

83. I would venture to say that dead terrorists, especially foreign terrorists, don't count

Nor do civilians who are actively sheltering these terrorists. And the vast majority of Democrats agree with me.

- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

[RC]

88. So you are saying, if we kill them, they must be terrorists or terrorist sympathizers?

How the hell could anyone know, when we seemly pick our targets at random? How do we justify killing dozens of people, because we said ONE person in the area was a terrorist?
Just because there are other people are in the area when we murder a suspected terrorist out of the blue, doe not make them actively sheltering these terrorists. Quite often these others, either live where we blew up or near by. Guilty of the crime of living close by?
One person's terrorist is another persons Freedom Fighter, defending their country from foreign invaders, usually us, US. We are the ones in their country. They are not in ours.

Conservative Democrat? That is an oxymoron and you are not helping.

[DirkGently]

71. No. As you know, "the left" is not outraged that Obama is using drones "at all."

The "outrage" is that drone strikes kill secret targets in secret locations, for secret reasons, and manages to kill hundreds of civilians in the process.

As you also know, the administration has also claimed the right to kill U.S. citizens without due process, and has done so at least once.

[RC]

89. Twice, they have purposely killed American citizens.

As you also know, the administration has also claimed the right to kill U.S. citizens without due process, and has done so at least once twice.

The man's 16 year old son, a week or so later. They knew and did it anyway.

[DirkGently]

95. Absolutely correct. (nt)

[LanternWaste]

41. I imagine many people are unable to to both.

I imagine many people are unable to to both. More's the pity that peculiar lack of ability. Good luck in overcoming it!!!

[grahamhgreen]

94. YOU DON'T KNOW THAT BECAUSE THE PROGRAM IS SECRET!

[EOTE]

2. LOL. Perhaps we're best off starting fresh anyway.

Kudos if this is your work.

[Poll_Blind]

5. Thanks, it is. nt

PB

[Demo_Chris]

32. VERY well done! That's onion worthy right there. n/t

[JohnnyRingo]

35. Good satire.

Cracked Magazine is looking for talent like this. The pay (nothing) helps groom cynicism.

[Autumn]

3. Too funny

In a sad kind of way. Rec

[xtraxritical]

22. They don't know that ERA is Equal Rights Amendment? Too funny in a sad way.

[Poll_Blind]

43. "In a sad kind of way.", indeed! If I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying. nt

PB

[Rabid_Rabbit]

6. That made me laugh

While I don't think it is quite that bad, it does seem that liberal causes are only important during elections and when a republican is in power. Not just from the leadership but also rank and file democrats. The excuses I have heard and read for not supporting Rand Paul and his stance against drone killings can only be explained if people put their party affiliation above the common good. Right is right and wrong is wrong, no matter what letter follows the individuals name.

[Pab Sungenis]

7. Can we create a

"dripping satire" smilie?

[djean111]

8. Have they checked the shredder? First place I would look. :-)

[Eleanors38]

17. Shredder? The paper should have turned brown and powderized like pecan leaves ny now.

[Puzzledtraveller]

9. Standing-O!

[geek tragedy]

10. Libertarians disagree with liberals on 99% of the issues. They favor letting poor people starve and

die of preventable disease.

They oppose Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security.

They oppose the minimum wage, workplace safety laws, and the Civil Rights Act, not to mention the ADA.

Ranting about drones doesn't change that.

[freshwest]

59. +1

[Romulox]

11. I think it's extremely regrettable that we've let people (out of ignorance) set out

"liberal" and "libertarian" as some kind of opposites.

In the old days of the Democratic Party, "civil libertarians" were a distinct wing. To use these words as if they are conceptual opposites, as is done on DU?

[geek tragedy]

14. Because on economic issues they ARE opposites. On the environment they ARE opposites.

When it comes to regulating Wall Street and financial institutions, they ARE opposites.

On the issue of providing the basic necessities of life to all people, they ARE opposites.

When it comes to worker and consumer protection, they ARE opposites.

When it comes to combatting private sector discrimination on the basis of race, gender, religion, orientation, or disability, they ARE opposites.

Liberals and libertarians are opposites when it comes to one's view of the proper role of government in society.

That Rand Paul says something that gets liberals nodding their heads about drones doesn't make him an ally, or even anything less than a bitter enemy.

[pediatricmedic]

28. Are you confused?

Authoritarians and Libertarians are complete opposites.

Libertarians span the entire political spectrum from left to right, including anarchy.

The current Democratic party is right of center and authoritarian.

The current Republican party is FAR right and authoritarian.

Please go look around this site:
http://www.politicalcompass.org/index

[geek tragedy]

31. Under that standard, government regulation of business is considered 'authoritarian'

Food safety and labeling laws are 'authoritarian'

Forbidding discrimination on the basis of race is considered 'authoritarianism'

What do you think the libertarians mean when they yell 'liberty?'

Note, btw, that that site has Gary Johnson as a non-libertarian.

You should really talk to some actual libertarians. They're nuts. The Libertarian party's motto is "maximum liberty, minimum government."

[Spitfire of ATJ]

44. "What do you think the libertarians mean when they yell 'liberty?' "

Oooo!!! Ooooo!!! I know this one!!

The ability to smoke pot.

[geek tragedy]

45. And the right to pollute the environment. And the right to discriminate against minorities they

don't like.

And the ability to have really, really low taxes.

And the elevation of property rights over human rights.

And the right to own 10 machine guns and a bazooka.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

46. That's American Libertarians which are really Republicans who believe Bush was a Liberal.

[geek tragedy]

47. Well, this is a board dedicated to American politics. Just like liberalism means

the exact opposite in different places.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

49. I'm old enough to remember when "Conservative" meant never wanting to try something new even once.

[geek tragedy]

50. I can remember when conservatism and conservation were not enemies. nt

[Spitfire of ATJ]

51. I'm old enough to remember when the NRA fought against acid rain.

[geek tragedy]

52. About the same time Republicans stood up to the NRA on occasion. nt

[Spitfire of ATJ]

54. Back before the Republicans decided to claim "Liberal" was a dirty word.

[geek tragedy]

55. I'm not that old. nt

[Spitfire of ATJ]

58. Remember Carter?

[geek tragedy]

62. I remember Carter vs Reagan. nt

[Spitfire of ATJ]

64. You don't remember Carter vs Ford?

That was a lot different than people want to remember.

Ford was seen as the typical beer drinking football fan glued to the sofa. If Ford hadn't pardoned Nixon he would have probably won.

Carter was seen as a hayseed. Helen Thomas said his press conferences were like going to Sunday School. The South LOVED him at the time. His brother Billy was considered to be a classic "good old boy" especially after he hosed down the runway.

[MADem]

73. Many people, Bill Maher included, have described Libertarians as Republicans who want to get high.

Screw granny, defund social programs from health to safety nets in terms of housing and food security, starve the schools so that if you want your kids educated, you pay for it yourself, leave people to die if they don't have medical insurance, but smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Oh--and no speed limits!

[Spitfire of ATJ]

74. It wasn't that long ago when Republicans were the ones against traffic cams....

The "Eye of Big Brother" and all that.

After 9/11 the Republicans were talking about citizens having to apply for travel permits that would have to be presented at armed checkpoints. Funny how they were able to pull that authoritarian crap INSTANTLY out of their asses.

Democrats didn't even CONSIDER that crap during WWII.

[MADem]

75. There's money to be made. The UK model is a "success" for them so they see opportunities

to translate that success here.


You can't go anywhere in London without being on a screen, somewhere. This is true of most cities of any import in UK.

It's getting to be the same in New York city, as well. Other cities, too.


It is a different world. We won't go backwards on this--it's just too much of a money-saver as well as being a money-maker. I can understand the reluctance to feel comfortable with this constant surveillance, but as I have said elsewhere, the horse has left the barn. This will not be rolled back. Don't want to be recognized? Large hats, big brims, oversized coats and Jackie Onassis-sized dark glasses and scarves will be the must-wear accessories for both sexes.

During WW2, borders still meant something. We were fairly secure in our persons, despite efforts by the Japanese and Germans to cause trouble on the west and east coasts, respectively.

It wasn't easy to go from USA to any other country, save to our allies Canada or Mexico. You'd have to stop and refuel if you took a plane, and if you took a boat, you risked getting sunk. I've gone to Europe for a weekend; that kind of mobility wasn't possible seventy years ago.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

77. I believe it's a measure of our cowardice....

We have a media that constantly pumps the average citizen full of fear.

Look how many ran out to get duct tape and plastic sheeting.

It inspired this piece of art entitled "In Bondage"....

[MADem]

81. Well, the new paradigm is part and parcel of all that bullshit terra-terra-terra that followed

Nahn Wun Wun...


But it's morphed a bit--it is now less about 'terra' and more about information. Who are you, what are you doing, where are you going, and why are you where you are...
We're in a Brave New World. Interpol connects us all...

http://www.interpol.int/en

[Spitfire of ATJ]

82. We could only WISH Interpol had an enforcement arm...

All it is right now is a data dump for cops to access.

International law has no actual enforcement. That's why Cheney wasn't hauled into the Hague.

[Lordquinton]

38. Libertarians start and finish with Anarchy

As long as they are rich, they'll let the world burn, because it's their personal liberty to set fires.

[abelenkpe]

42. Libertarians in the US

are republicans. Your source might work if we were discussing libertarians in any other country but not here.

[Romulox]

56. That's not what "civil libertarian" means. I mean, it's *SPECIFICALLY* not what it means.

[geek tragedy]

57. Libertarian and "civil libertarian" are as similar as liberals and neo-liberals.

I.e., nothing alike.

Libertarians are not our allies, have never been our allies, never will be our allies.

[forestpath]

12. I don't think it was stolen. I think the Democratic Party pissed and shitted on it so many times

it disintegrated - which is what the party leaders intended.

[sadbear]

13. Libertarians don't care about liberal causes.

They just don't want the federal government doing the things they think the state governments should be doing. That's all.

[1-Old-Man]

21. Actually it goes a good bit deeper than that

It is not that they want the states to do work now done by the Federal Government, they simply do not want any public body doing that work at all. If it needs to be done, they suppose, someone will do it. And if they can make a profit at it they will keep on doing it and so and and so forth. But the point is not the conflate a Libertarian with a State's rights person, that they are not. They don't want to move the responsibilities of Government down slope, they want to remove them from the public sphere all together.

[hughee99]

15. Very nice work. n/t

[Eleanors38]

16. "...dust them off" LOL!

[Octafish]

18. Great.

NEXT!

...IT'S COMING ALONG WELL...A VERY NICE SCAR...YOU CAN PUT YOUR CAP BACK ON...

I SEE YOU SIGNED ALL THE DOCUMENTS YOU WERE GIVEN...NO REGRETS?

N...NO...SSS...SI...SIR...NO REGRETS...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE GOVERNMENT?

I...I...APPROVE...OF IT...

COMPLETELY?

YES...COM...COMPLETELY...

GOOD! NO FIGHTS WITH THE OTHER INMATES OR GUARDS?

OH!...NO S...S...SIR...NO...NO...FIGHTS!



GOOD!...DO YOU STILL FEEL WE WERE WRONG TO MAKE YOU SUBMIT TO THIS OPERATION?

OH!...N...NO...S...S...SIR...I DON'T THINK THAT NO MO...MORE...

GOOD...YOU'RE FINE!...HOLD ON TO YOUR RELEASE SLIP...YOU ARE NOW READY TO FIND YOUR PLACE IN SOCIETY...

NEXT!

WWARE UY GOWIN? LEEVIN?

YES...I I HAVE...MY...SLIP!...

LEE MEEYULONE! YU GOD NO RIDE!

AWRIDE! SHADAB!



(SIGN -) CENTRE FOR IDEOLOGICAL REEDUCATION - MINISTRY OF HEALTH

...MY...MY PLACE...IN SOCIETY...

MY PLACE...

Details on the artist: http://www.montellier.org /

So-So Society.

[OnyxCollie]

24. Bravo!

[NOVA_Dem]

25. This would be a great Daily Show bit. n/t

[mwooldri]

26. Go get a job with The Onion. :)

This is neat

[UnrepentantLiberal]

27. Well done and absolutely true.

We have no choice but to be played as suckers every four years.

[alfredo]

29. Funny! At least we believe in something.

[nineteen50]

30. Is this a joke?

The Democratic National Committee has no liberal ideas.

[geek tragedy]

33. Didn't you hear? Rand "Privatize Medicare" Paul is more of a liberal than Obama is.

I read it right here at DU.

[freshwest]

80. That's the ticket.

[Comrade Grumpy]

34. Ouch.

[bluedigger]

36. Very funny, Poll Blind.

It cracked me up, so I guess I haven't lost all perspective.

[Poll_Blind]

48. LOL, I hear ya! From my perspective, American politics is like a fun house mirror that...

...hasn't stopped stretching and distorting since 2000, which is profoundly unsettling. Thankfully, that's just at the Federal level. For me, I don't have all that much to complain about on the state level. I think I would go nuts if I couldn't turn to either for some hope, and I know there are a fair number of DUers who are, sadly, in that situation where they live.

PB

[DallasNE]

39. So Nixonion Of Them

In fact there has been a rash of dirty tricks/lawlessness in the last few months and the false prostitution smear of Sen. Menéndez is one other such example.

[FiveGoodMen]

40. Excellent satire!

I was sure it was from the Onion.

By the way, nice touch putting in the ABC News link.

The SNIPs were also very inspired.

[Stinky The Clown]

53. Excellent post! Great bit of satire.

K&R

[warrprayer]

60. Mirthful K&R

Rachel said she was flooded with hate mail for supporting and covering Paul's filibuster.

[pmorlan1]

61. Too funny

Love it! Thank you!

It's so darned obvious that our Dems should have been on the floor in the Senate for that filibuster. I'm ashamed of them and ashamed of all the people who would rather criticize Rand Paul than to participate in the debate. An old friend of mine who I worked with as a moderator on the old Kerry website evidently doesn't even know what all the fuss is about. He was clueless. He's so wrapped up in knocking Rand Paul that he won't stop to educate himself on what the filibuster was all about. It's so depressing.

I too wish people would understand that civil libertarian and the Libertarian Party aren't the same thing. While I supported the filibuster I am not a Libertarian. I am, however, a civil libertarian.

[McCamy Taylor]

63. This is from the Onion, right? If true, it is supremely funny.

[Poll_Blind]

65. It's not from The Onion, it's from The Poll_Blind. ;^) nt

PB

[raouldukelives]

66. K&R! Be funnier if it weren't so damn sad. nt

[Politicub]

70. Go read page 18 of the Violence Against Women act and get back to me

People who doubt that progressive ideas are getting enshrined in law in under president Obama need to educate themselves and get their head out of mythical boxes.

And this is happening even as the republicans try their hardest to obstruct.

I give DUers the benefit of the doubt. If after educating themselves they come back and say that no good law is getting put in place, they are either disingenuous, lying or both.

[procon]

76. Wonderfully witty!

I know Republicans struggle with satire, but skimming through the comments, I learned that they are not alone.

[Kurska]

78. Bra fucking vo, anyone remember when were the ones who wanted to protect people's rights?

I don't want people to die without healthcare, but I don't want to blow them up with drones either.

Where is MY party?

[MicaelS]

79. Exceptionally poor Inventory Management procedures.

Someone is not doing their Cycle Counts.

[Javaman]

84. The day one thinks that libertarians have suddenly embraced Libral causes, is the day you need

to check into a mental clinic.

[AverageJoe90]

85. Good satire, PB. =)

TBH, I actually thought it was from the Onion for a second.....

[BlancheSplanchnik]

86. oh come on. This is an Onion piece, right?

I mean, really.


From ABC. News???

At least tell me it's from ABC's department of satire.

I mean.....really!

[philly_bob]

87. Hilarious satire -- but I object that there is no indication that it is satire. n/t

[Capt. Obvious]

90. This is brilliant

Bravo!

[harun]

91. Superb

[Doctor_J]

92. They'll probably use the space for some 3rd Way Initiatives and drones

cut (not slash) Medicare & SS benefits. Sell public schools to "reformers". And big boxes full of cash from Big Insurance & the Pentagon

[Initech]

93. They were probably stashed next to the Ark Of The Covenant.