I need to talk about my (dead) sister.

[IdaBriggs]

She died from complications from Multiple Sclerosis in 2003 at age 39.

Because this is a "political" message board, I am going to share some things about her life that tie into the current discussions about Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and the people who use and/or "abuse" them.

My sister was on Social Security Disability, and she scammed the system by not reporting when she made money.

She had a type of Multiple Sclerosis called "relapsing/remitting" and it SUCKED. Sometimes she was almost fine. Sometimes she wasn't. Family frequently questioned whether she was "faking it" because when she wasn't suffering from an attack, she could function at a pretty normal level, but when she was "having a spell" she would be almost incapacitated. The attacks could hit suddenly: one day she would be out mowing the lawn, and the next, she would be in a wheelchair. (In hindsight, yes, the correlation seems obvious.)

She received approximately $9,000 a year in income from Social Security Disability; she also received money for her children (with two, probably about $850 a month?), and her live-in boyfriend also received money for taking care of her (I have no clue how much).

When she was doing well, she would work under the table (full time, sometimes more). We knew she was still collecting money from the government while this was going on, and to be honest, there was not a lot of respect for her because of it. I asked her about it once - one tries not to interfere in other people's lifestyle choices - and she explained that it was more about the health insurance than the money; it had taken several years to get approved for SSDI when she was diagnosed in her early twenties, and there was no way she could afford the the medical bills when the next inevitable attack came without assistance, let alone the roof over her children's head, without it.

They lived well most of the time - cell phones (back when they were an uncommon luxury), new clothing, nice cars - in a nice neighborhood, in a house that they were always working on "fixing up." Financially, their life style seemed impossible, especially because her "caretaker" went through several years of chronic unemployment. We suspected that drugs (illegal, and selling her prescriptions) were used to supplement the family income; this was confirmed by her children after her death, but she also shuffled credit cards like crazy, and left behind a ton of unpaid and noncollectable debt because of it. (Not a criticism, by the way.)

Multiple Sclerosis consumed her life; when she was well, there was a near feverish desire to "do as much as possible" for and with her two daughters. When she wasn't, she kept the house dark. Each time she came back from an attack, she was a little "less better" -- the numbness always grew. She had nightmares. She was scared. She was angry. She was defiant. She was hopeful.

And then, three days after Christmas back in 2003, she was dead. She got a cold (just like she always did multiple times a winter) that turned into pneumonia. She died on her way to the hospital, leaving behind two daughters age 20 and 18.

We had all gotten so used to her constantly being sick that I didn't believe the initial call that she was gone. It was too sudden - we had seen her at the family holiday party, and she was fine. We had talked a few days later, and she was fine. Then she was gone.

Yes, she cheated and scammed the system; she played it like a fiddle sometimes. Most of what she needed was the medical care, but the two - health insurance and income - came bundled together. When she was well, in the early years, she could have worked a full time job that wasn't under the table, but if she did, when the "next attack" came, she would have had no income or health insurance. The system really isn't set up for "okay, sometimes I will need some help, and I won't be able to wait two years for you to figure it out, but I want to be as independent as possible, so ...?" It is set up as a "yes/no" and as a taxpayer, I can look at it, and see that it costs *way* too much money, including in personal pride. (She was proud; she knew she was scamming sometimes, but she felt like it was the only way to survive, and by God! she was a survivor!)

Multiple Sclerosis is a terrible disease. She was so scared about being trapped in a body that she couldn't control -- we still lost her too soon, but at the same time, we didn't have to deal with some of the options she discussed about "when the time comes" - and yes, she talked about being control of when the battle ended. It turned out not to be an issue; we all thought there would be "more time."

This week (March 11 - 17, 2013) is national Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week.

My sister was more than a person on Social Security Disability. Yes, she scammed, and I won't pretend she didn't, but I understand why, and it wasn't because she *wanted* to - it was because she had no choice if she was going to make sure her family was taken care of. She was also more than that:

She was funny. She had gorgeous long thick hair that she was ridiculously proud of. She was skinny, and would freak out when the medications made her "puffy". She worshiped the sun, and was always tan. She liked to roller skate when she was young. She loved animals. She was worried more about being a friend to her daughters than a disciplinarian. She loved pretty jewelry. She was good with plants. She was a survivor of an abusive relationship with her ex-husband. She spent eighteen years with the love of her life, who raised her daughters as if they were his own. She was a complicated person. She didn't always make good choices. She loved her daughters, and would do anything for them. She could be the Queen of Bitchy. She could be your best friend. She was my sister, and she never got to meet my children.

She's been gone nearly a decade; there is still no cure.

Jeannette: May 12, 1964 - Dec 28, 2003 (age 39)

This week is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week - http://www.nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx

[hlthe2b]

1. I'm very sorry for your loss...

As to the ss/disability issues, frankly, I'm just glad it was there for her when she needed it.

[IdaBriggs]

4. Thank you.

I'm glad it was there, too.

I wish it had "less baggage" attached to it.

[1monster]

22. I agree with hlthe2b. I've always thought it wrong that those on disabililty and SSI are

kept to poverty levels, having their SSI or SSDI dropped by the same amount they earned more than they were allowed. I believe that the amount they were allowed to earn over and above their payments was $11,000 per year.

[IdaBriggs]

47. I only know what she told me (because I didn't involve myself in her finances).

Please remember she passed ten years ago, and was on it for between fifteen and eighteen years. It hit her in her early twenties, and she didn't have much of a work history at the time, which might have accounted for the dollar amounts.

There was also a lot of stress involved in trying to find a job that wouldn't fire her when she took too much time off for doctor appointments, or hospital visits and such. The "under the table" folk were more accommodating when she was bad.

[DhhD]

78. It takes 5 months to begin getting benefits from SS. When you become unable to continue working

usually the disability part of your health insurance from your employers insurance becomes active. (That is if the company you work for carries expensive disability coverage.) This disability payment benefit lasts the 5 months that it takes SS Disability benefits to start. If you go back to work, who will hire you with a condition like MS? How will you answer to your leave of absence recorded on your resume at a job interview? Does anyone expect an employer to get health insurance for this person? SS does provide Medicare for 9 months.

If you went back to work of a few months and then had another bad spell in which you could not work, then it is 5 more months. A situation like this would be unsustainable.

During this back and forth, the ill person has to work with the State Rehabilitation agency, attending classes and all kinds of activities to get the ill person back to work.

Staying on SS and Medicare is much better on the worker and the family in most instances.

[lumberjack_jeff]

2. K&R.

My brother in law has MS. In addition to the physical symptoms, the neurologic problems also cause mental issues, which causes problems for family and caregivers.

The nonprofit I work at offers consultation to people getting SSI or SSDI about how much they can work and not jeopardize their benefits (to most people, the answer is surprisingly high).

[IdaBriggs]

8. Sometimes the medications she was on also caused problems.

I didn't delve too deeply into her finances at the time - the "underground economy" concept is one that makes me uncomfortable.

People have done worse for less; I understand some of her thinking. I resent the fact she had to feel humiliated about it.

[Cleita]

3. Well, I doubt if your sister scammed the system as much as the banking CEOs who

are receiving billions, and much of it because of tax payers bail out money, or the Credit Card companies with their usury interest rates. Also, as a Social Security recipient I am allowed to go out and earn extra money if I want to or are able to work. I don't know why SSDI recipients can't earn an extra amount to help them get by because what they get really isn't enough to live off of comfortably. At her early date of death, I doubt if she received enough to even match what the banksters have scammed the system for.

I am sorry for your loss.

[IdaBriggs]

9. Thank you.

I believe the logic was "if you are disabled, you can't work, so if you can work, you aren't disabled."

It was frustrating and infuriating.

[Recursion]

5. So sorry for your loss

We really need to change the way people can get on and off SSDI. My sister has R/R MS, too, though she can still mostly work and isn't yet at a point of going on SSDI, but she dreads that day.

[IdaBriggs]

10. Thank you.

I agree 100% about changing the system. I am glad your sister is doing well! Hopefully, they will find a cure soon!

[Poll_Blind]

6. I almost never read posts that long, but I read yours and I'm glad I did.

I don't have any answers or any comments, really. Except thank you for posting and its messages like yours that help keep Democratic Underground "real" to me, and keep me coming back.

I am sorry for your loss and for everyone dealing with this terrible disease. I appreciate your candor on the matter.

PB

[IdaBriggs]

11. Thank you.

And thank you for the compliment!

[niyad]

7. so very sorry for your loss--she sounds like a truly wonderful person, and so do you.

as for her 'scamming the system"-- the system is horrible, and I can understand what she was doing. and, as the others have said, this (and even other stories like it) are NOTHING compared to what the banks and the mic do, not even close.

[IdaBriggs]

12. Thank you.

I would like to see the system fixed.

I would also like to see a cure.

[monmouth3]

13. Beautiful post and a wonderful tribute to your sister. She smiles down on you..n/t

[HappyMe]

15. What a wonderful tribute to your sister.

[mountain grammy]

16. Age 39! What a nice tribute. Thank you, I learned a few things.

[REP]

17. It doesn't sound like like 'scamming' to me

First, she had a real and serious debilitating illness. She qualified for SSD; she didn't give herself MS for 'easy money' (ha) or fake a billion tests.

Second, SSD does allow allow people to earn some money and still receive full benefits. Maybe she exceeded that amount. If she did, maybe it was an honest mistake; maybe she just needed to money to survive. Either way, I can't see that as 'scamming.'

I hope those few extra dollars brought some comfort and fun into her life, and eased some of the anxiety that comes with living with a chronic disease. I'm sorry you lost you her too soon.

[mgardener]

18. Disability

I have been on disability for 13 years. I do not abuse the system. I can make up to 700/month before my disability is reduced. I can't work. would like to, but can't.

I was 45 when a back injury and the 4 back surgeries forced me from work. Thank God I was married or my 3 children and i would have lost the house. Disability did not kick in till almost 2 years after I had to stop work. We had a child in college one ready to go and another one 2 years after that.I have always wanted to work, the pain meds and pain makes it impossible to be a reliable employee. I cope by volunteering in several places in my community.
So, my husband and I are now are on a fixed income since he is retired. We live on much less then anticipated, I could have worked F/T for 20 more years.

I am not complaining. We have a wonderful life, we owe little in debt.
But it makes me furious when republicans consider my SSI and Medicare entitlement. I started working when I was almost 16 years old at JCPenneys when I was in high school, after school and weekends. I sometimes worked 2 jobs. It was my not my desire to be a welfare queen and sit home and collect my entitlement. I paid into SS in case this happened. That is why we all pay SS. Some of us are unlucky and need to use it sooner. But Dammit, I paid for it.
I dislike republicans(bordering on hate sometimes, I am ashamed to admit) and their nasty, sniveling ways. They do underestimate the ire of the American people. They have not learned their lesson from 2012. They listen to Paul Ryan, whose family depended on SS when his dad died. Yet he does not have the compassion to help others.

I am one of the lucky ones. But there are many people I know who depend on SSI and Medicare and are living on the edge.
Republicans have no souls despite their so called christian values.

[Gormy Cuss]

83. Don't let the sneering GOPers take away the word 'entitlement."

Entitlement isn't a bad word. It's a sign of a good social policy. You are entitled to those benefits when you qualify. Period. Those same GOPers who try to make people feel bad about needing assistance are the first to sign up when they're eligible. I don't know a single Republican over the age of 65 who didn't sign up for Medicare and start drawing SSI as soon as they stopped working.

[mgardener]

19. I am so sorry

I never even offered my sympathy for your sisters death.

[area51]

20. I'm sorry for your loss.

I realize your sister died back in '03, but I think tied into what she did regarding the system, is that the disability and health care system is so messed up. If we actually had a right to health care in this country, along with a single-payer system, it would benefit everyone.

[magical thyme]

21. I am so sorry for your loss...

I don't begrudge her any extra money she earned to care for her family. I am sorry she felt "shame" in feeling forced to do so under the table.

MS can be an "on again, off again" disease. The very famous cellist Jacqueline Dupre was incapacitated by it for many years. IIRC, she woke up one day feeling perfectly fine, raced down to her studio and recorded for a week or so. And then woke up again one day, incapacitated. She never played again..

Our system is a mess.

[riverbendviewgal]

23. Do not feel bad about your sister scamming the system

first, I am sorry for your loss. From what I read what you wrote. Your sister was a good woman and good mother.

Being sick in America is a horror story as far as I am concerned. America is not at all caring for those like your sister.
There are others who are able bodied who are scamming the system.

My brother lives in eastern USA and he worked all his life for one union job.. He retired early which I thought was strange, because he is now living on his pension and working two under the table jobs.. He retired a couple years ago.. He just turned 60 last year. He never told me why he retired except to say he does not have enough money.. He should have a great pension as he worked in a national corporation from 1970 to 2011.

I figure he was asked to retire because he was caught taking off a few hours a day from work and work on his family or friends houses, doing renovation work, many times. He took company supplies for himself. He also he hated all the minorities that were coming into the union. He may have had some confrontations. He has a temper.

He is a redneck right wing Obama hater. and he scammed the system while in perfect health.

Your sister was a good person and worked to pay her medical bills.

I feel so sorry for Americans who have to cope with all that. I had a husband and son treated for terminal cancers with all the treatments they needed. no denials and there was not one penny of medical bills for me to have to pay.

I am so fortunate to live in Canada.

[malaise]

24. Thanks for this post

Sorry about your sister

[virgdem]

25. Thank you for sharing this story...

your sister was a complicated person (aren't we all), but she was also a survivor. Sometimes you do what you have to do to survive and she did just that. I know many people who have had MS. Some are very ill and others do very well. My husband's first cousin is married to a woman who has had MS for some years and she is doing very well. She was a school teacher for many years, but had to retire at an early age due to the disease. She walks with a limp but other than that, there is no other physical manifestation of the disease.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. May she rest in peace!

[MotherPetrie]

26. {{{{IdaBriggs}}}}

[ismnotwasm]

27. My husband has MS

He has Secondary Progressive multiple sclerosis, which had been held at bay by a VERY expensive once a month infusion for a number of years now. He has SS disability, but he also has my insurance. I use a pre-tax medical account benefit, so it seems like it doesn't hurt as bad when he picks up his OTHER monthly prescriptions.

I'm sorry you lost your sister, glad you had such a wonderful woman in your life, and I want to say, We understand.

[cate94]

28. I'm really sorry for your loss.

It is very painful to lose a sibling, especially one so young.

MS is a horrible disease and I appreciate your reminder.

But I do want to echo what numerous posters have said about your sisters behavior. It isn't a scam when you are able to earn more than allowed. It is a necessary evil. This is especially true for someone with underage kids.

My brother has been on SS for years. He has never "scammed" the system. However, if I hadn't been able to help him out, he would have lost his house years ago. He and his family use the local food pantry to survive. At the family reunion my SIL broke down in tears because of the stress of eating the same thing over and over again. Yes, we helped them out again. Unfortunately they don't feel comfortable telling us every time they need help.

It makes me sick the way our country treats the disabled, elderly and the poor. It doesn't bother me one bit that your sister lived a comfortable life because she broke the rules. Good for her. No one should have to lose their home or their pride when they become disabled.

[siligut]

29. MS is such a difficult disease

You have complex memories of your sister. I have so many thoughts, I don't know where to start and I just don't have time to express them well.

Mostly I am glad that you loved her, understood her or attempted to and I agree that we need a better system for people who don't fit into the mold.

[olddots]

30. She did not scam the system !!!!!

We should all be fed up with our society that spends trillions (yes trillions ) on war and lets people suffer from M.S. and countless amounts of deceases that get little funding to find cures.I will get off the soap box to tell thank you for your courage to post this.

[Walk away]

31. If we had a better system of support here in the US your sister wouldn't....

have had to scam the system in the first place. When you can lose your home and ability to take care of your family over one illness it makes it difficult to consider "ethics" first. I understand that it can take years to qualify for Medicaid. Who would be crazy enough to give it up when you finally get it, knowing you will need it again and may have to fight to get back on?
There has to be a better way to create a real, working safety net in the country.

[HubertHeaver]

32. Your sister did not "scam the system".

She did what she had to do to continue to exist within the system.

My sister also had relapsing/remitting Multiple Sclerosis (she never used the shorthand MS to refer to the disease). The last day she was able to walk, she was driving home from work when a state police officer pulled her over. He signaled for her to come back to his car. She struggled out of her car and walked back to his. As she got to the police car, her car burst into flame. A trucker had reported a car burning as it was driving down the road, the cop saw the car and pulled it over. He gave her a ride home. She walked into her house, sat down and never walked unaided again.

The health-care system is not set up for a disease like MS. You do what you have to do to survive.

[IdaBriggs]

34. Missing meta a lot, aren't you?

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I will give it all the consideration it is due: NONE.

[IdaBriggs]

45. Dude, my family (like many others) is *filled* with stuff

that not all of us are proud of (including some of my own thoughts and actions). Not all of life is filled with picture perfect Hallmark moments - sometimes it is sitting in your sister's living room talking about how she doesn't want to be buried or forgotten....

She lived a complicated life, and not all of it was perfect. She did the best she could, and she loved her children (even when she didn't do right by them). She had baggage and issues.

I know why she did what she did. Yes, she "scammed" by not reporting her earnings, and she shouldn't have had to do that. Yes, she supplemented her income, and she shouldn't have had to do that, either.

She wasn't a Saint. She was my sister. And your opinion about her behavior and my recounting of it is why people aren't allowed to talk about how the system is REALLY SCREWED UP.

I am *NOT* ashamed of her, and I will be damned before I will pretend that I should be.

[noiretextatique]

49. some things are better left in thought

your post in in this category. who in the hell are you to judge this poster? my sister passed away, and she was far from perfect, and when i chose to write about her i write about all of her, not just the rosy, cheery things. your post is mean, rude and disrespectful and you owe Ida an apology.

[noiretextatique]

59. what's disgraceful is you

being a judgmental asshole.

[CreekDog]

60. i'll delete my posts if that makes everyone happy

the sister seems to have been a good and strong person.

it was the OP that i thought maybe conveyed something not as nice as what was thought to be intended.

[idwiyo]

35. Your sister did not "scam" the system, the system scammed her. This is why US needs NHS.

I am sorry for your loss.

[IdaBriggs]

36. Thank you - and to all the others who see it, thank you.

I agree 100% we need NHS. It isn't just about one person - it is about all of us.

[RiffRandell]

37. I have a friend under 40 that has MS

and my husband's grandfather died from it. My mother has Parkinson's and it's really hard.

Thank you for posting.

[Hekate]

38. Thank you for sharing this. Just a word about the boyfriend being her caregiver...

My divorced, unemployed BIL became his mother's caregiver after her major stroke -- I think our SIL helped set it up as she is knowledgeable about "the system." He did it well, along with my husband hiring student nurses and making sure the Visiting Nurses Association dropped in. So Ma was cared for in her home until she died.

IIRC, what he was paid amounted to just about minimum wage. It's not very much, but it does allow a relative who is already doing the job to get at least some compensation for it. I'm totally for it.

[IdaBriggs]

39. He was (is) a good man, and I don't begrudge him a dime of it.

They never married because she would lose the benefits (per her), but he stayed with her through thick and thin for eighteen years. Her children were from her ex-husband, but he was "there" for them. There was drama - he started drinking a lot in the last years, and didn't really sober up until after she passed. He told me (after he was sober) that he lived in terror of coming home and finding her gone, which started the drinking, until he hit that magic point where the drinking *was* the problem....

He still loved her, and she him. I mentioned him in my father's eulogy a little over a year later, and he thanked me. Imagine that: he took care of *my* sister, and he thanked *me* for publicly saying how much the family appreciated him being there for her.

Sometimes you can't make this stuff up. Sigh.

[mentalsolstice]

40. I'm so sorry for your loss!

It's nice to see that her family and friends didn't make assumptions, gave her the benefit of the doubt and did not report her to SSA. Some SSDI recipients are not so lucky, and it's assumed they're deadbeats.

Some history: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=795074&mesg_id=795074.

[IdaBriggs]

43. Sweetheart, we made *all kinds* of assumptions.

Especially in the beginning. When she was fine, she *looked* fine. When I talk about her mowing the lawn, I saw her mowing the lawn - and two days later, she was in a wheelchair. Huh? Then, a week later, she was up moving around, and everything was "fine" like nothing had ever happened.

I would say it was about ten years before there was an agreement in the family that she really *did* have Multiple Sclerosis. I am not proud of that, but honestly, her teen years were filled with issues, and her ex had a drug problem, and she *looked* fine....?

But she was family, so we looked the other way. What else can you do?

I stand behind the post you brought up; the follow-up to it is that guy ended up back on drugs, stole rent money, caught on video robbing a neighboring house, and back in jail he went (after he threatened to assault my handy-man).

And I am still infuriated by the fact people who NEED help fight for years to get it, while some of the real "scammers" sail through the system.

Oh, and remember the cerebral palsy stuff from last year? 118 children and counting -- this mom is blogging her daughter's progress: http://pgpnadiafindingrdaughter.blogspot.com/?m=1 (and doesn't mind other people knowing about it). Thank God I didn't listen to you!!!

[mentalsolstice]

48. I'm not your "sweetheart"

I truly feel for the loss of your sister. However, your previous posts speculating about people on SSDI and other sources of public welfare were worthy. You proved you were no liberal in those posts.

And you still don't have many of us sold on your woo science...let's see where they are in 20 years. Not to mention you have no serious science behind your activities.

You're very bouncy !

[IdaBriggs]

52. Eh, to be fair, 'sweetheart' was sarcastic.

Fortunately, your opinion on what makes a "real liberal" when it comes to me are as useful as your opinions about cerebral palsy. (aka: WRONG)

But, you did help out a lot back then, and although your quotes are not attributed, I'm sure you can recognize them in this video:

&feature=youtu.be

Fast forward to minute eleven.

When I give presentations, I use that slide as a laugh line.

(Did I mention we are running an 83% success rate?)

But this thread is about my sister. So, if you want to continue that conversation, we should start a thread somewhere else.

Thank you for the condolences about my sister. Somehow I find them completely insincere (especially as you puke on me), but I will pretend I believe them.

[mentalsolstice]

61. I'm sincere about your sister, however, you just majorly insulted me

You blew off my 52 years of having CP, that my opinions aren't worthy. Not to mention I was an attorney for my state P&A, and thus educated on a broad range of disabilities, mental and physical.

You're the one who comes in here hoping nobody remembers how you pissed on SSDI and food stamp recipients. Sorry, but plenty of us remember. Look at the link in my 1st response and what a flamewar that turned into. Not to mention some flamewars here on DU3 about your woo science.

Again, I am sincerely sorry about your sister. I'm sorry that she died young. I'm sorry that her daughters don't have a mom to look to while navigating young adulthood. I'm sorry that her disability was scrutinized, and some found her claims suspect, you even admitted such in your OP. I've been there, done that.

However, more than all of the above, I'm sorry that you and others here on DU feel that SSDI recipients (and others public assistance recipients) should live joyless lives, dressed in sackcloth, with ratty hair, etc. Sorry, it doesn't always work that way.

[IdaBriggs]

65. Nobody remembers my opinions?

Quit making stuff up, please. I stand by every word I have ever posted here on DU, including your LAME RIDICULOUS MIS- interpretation of my dealing with someone who (as it turned out) was a crook.

Your judgments are suspect on so many levels, it isn't even funny. Please be aware I have ZERO respect for you and your NONSENSE attempts to miscategorize ME. I am a Flaming Liberal, but that doesn't mean I checked my common sense out at the door when I signed up for DU; the world is NOT a perfect place, and we all do the best we can.

I will never forget what you started in Meta - the pile ons you started as you attacked my good name and reputation. Fortunately I ignored you to the benefit of humanity, meta has been closed, and the fact you are insulted because your self proclaimed expertise turns out to be WRONG as you try to piss all over this thread about MY SISTER gives me joy at a level I can't explain.

Be insulted. Be aware I Don't Care. I don't think you are a nice person, and you are the first person in my DECADE at DU who I actively dislike, which can be 100% attributed to your lying, whining and general all around nastiness.

Wait-a-minute! The mods made a feature for that - WELCOME TO IGNORE.

P.S. If this gets hidden such that I am locked out of my own thread about my sister, so be it. Jurors, this poster and I have a history. Do what you need to do to make sure DU is a good place. Please note *she* came onto MY THREAD and started crapping all over it. Thanks to "Ignore" I won't be responding anymore, but if you need to hide this because I think she is a lying trouble maker who likes to create drama where there shouldn't be any, I will understand.

[mentalsolstice]

67. Meh! My reply in a lower thread

I am sincerely sorry that Ida's sister lost her battle to MS at such a young age. However, I want to point out the scrutiny Ida has given in the past to SSDI recipients, and not just her sister. Some people just can't refrain from making assumptions about whether or not somebody deserves benefits, a parking placard, etc., and Ida is one of those people.

In one thread, Ida tries to honor her sister during MS month, yet at the same time she brings up that her sister may have scammed the system. Why not just honor her memory, and simply mention how her SSDI/Medicare benefits were important for her and her family to get by, without scrutinizing her "lifestyle?"

So SSDI recipients can't have iPhones (I have cerebral palsy and I have an iPhone and I'm typing this on an iPad). I save money, so this past week I bought 2 really nice tops from the Sundance catalog, because guess what, I do have friends, I do get out some, and when I do I want to feel good about myself and how I look. However, this comes at a lot of sacrifice and planning from my husband and I. For many years we have really juggled our budget now that I'm no longer bringing in a salary.

And for some, the big part of getting SSDI, is being eligible for Medicare. My husband is 67 and is retiring in 2 months, and thankfully he can do so because he doesn't have to worry about my healthcare. But we hate being scrutinized by the likes of some here.

And your post is diving FAST!

A new Pope was elected, hair on fire!

[WillyT]

42. (((((((IdaBriggs)))))))

Peace...

& Rec !!!

[bike man]

44. I am so sorry for your loss. My sister died two years ago, at age 72. We had been separated

most of our lives, until one night while talking to my wife on the phone she (sister) expressed a desire to return to our small town for her twilight years, but could not afford it. We had an empty two acre lot, so we told her to pack, bought a mobile home for her, and she moved. I had nearly five years of morning coffee with her, and found her to be a remarkable person.

Diabetic, arthritic, and other stuff, and had been fighting unsuccessfully for years for financial assistance.

When she died, it was sudden.

Just last week I told her priest (we go to the same gym), that I still miss her, and he assured me that is normal. I'm glad we had the last few years to visit after so many apart.

Thank you for posting this, and again, I'm genuinely sorry for your loss.

[noiretextatique]

51. you will miss her forever

i lost my younger sister to breast cancer six years ago, and i still miss her

[Still Blue in PDX]

46. It sounds like she made the best choices she could.

In a perfect world she could have behaved perfectly.



Condolences to you and the rest of her family. Doesn't matter how many years it's been, the acute pain gets better but the feelings of loss never do go away.

[noiretextatique]

50. IdaBriggs...i am sorry that a fool decided to piss on your thread

I lost my younger sister very suddenly to breast cancer in 2006....two months from diagnosis to death. After she died, we found out she had co-signed for her asshole boyfriend truck, and the bastard didn't even have the decency to show up for her when she was sick, nor did he come to her memorial service. My older sister gave the fool a chance to pay for the truck, and of course he did not pay. She finally got someone to repossess it. My little sister was the sweetest, kindest person, but she picked asshole men to date. No one is perfect.
Thank you for sharing your sister's story. And she did not "scam" the system...the system is a scam.

[IdaBriggs]

54. Thank you.

Dozens of supportive posts, and it is always the nasty folk we notice! I think it is time I started using the "ignore" feature on them. Of the two, one is a former meta addict, and the other is not a friend.

Oddly enough, it seems appropriate that there would be drama in a thread about my sister. She is probably laughing about it.

I am sorry about your sister, and sorrier that she loved losers who weren't worthy of her kindness. Thank you for sharing a little bit about her, too.

[noiretextatique]

56. i know

i am protective by nature, so i hate it when people pile on. and in this case, if you can't be supportive, then shut your mouth!
i felt bad for my sister until i realized that so many people loved her...too bad for the jerks who could not. here's to our sisters: may they both rest in peace

[CreekDog]

64. i said nice things about your sister

and meant them.

[IdaBriggs]

66. We all struggle with how to remember

The people we love and care about. I try to keep a clear view; there were things about her life that weren't wonderful. It bothers me that my entire family had the "knee jerk" reaction ("faker!&quot that we did for as long as we did. There were lessons to be learned from it.

There are things I would like to see changed about the system. My sister's life showed me some of them.

I am not a person in power. The only thing I can do is talk candidly about the challenges, the stigma, and the things that might have made life easier while she dealt with Multiple Sclerosis. I can only hope it makes the conversations other people need to have easier.

Peace between us, CreekDog. Thank you for deleting the comments, and thank you for attempting to defend her "honor" (even though I hope it wasn't really necessary).

I learned a lot from her. Hopefully, nearly ten years after she passed, other people can learn from her life, too.

[mentalsolstice]

63. You may want to check out the link below

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=795074&mesg_id=795074

I am sincerely sorry that Ida's sister lost her battle to MS at such a young age. However, I want to point out the scrutiny Ida has given in the past to SSDI recipients, and not just her sister. Some people just can't refrain from making assumptions about whether or not somebody deserves benefits, a parking placard, etc., and Ida is one of those people.

In one thread, Ida tries to honor her sister during MS month, yet at the same time she brings up that her sister may have scammed the system. Why not just honor her memory, and simply mention how her SSDI/Medicare benefits were important for her and her family to get by, without scrutinizing her "lifestyle?"

So SSDI recipients can't have iPhones (I have cerebral palsy and I have an iPhone and I'm typing this on an iPad). I save money, so this past week I bought 2 really nice tops from the Sundance catalog, because guess what, I do have friends, I do get out some, and when I do I want to feel good about myself and how I look. However, this comes at a lot of sacrifice and planning from my husband and I. For many years we have really juggled our budget now that I'm no longer bringing in a salary.

And for some, the big part of getting SSDI, is being eligible for Medicare. My husband is 67 and is retiring in 2 months, and thankfully he can do so because he doesn't have to worry about my healthcare. But we hate being scrutinized by the likes of some here.

[Capt. Obvious]

79. I just about vomited rage reading that thread

[JackRiddler]

53. Thank you and sorry for your loss.

She didn't really have a choice but to "scam the system," or to go without medical care and the predictable consequences of an even shorter life.

Thanks for your honest writing.

[southernyankeebelle]

55. Who are any of us to judge your sister? She did what she thought was right for her and her kids.

Maybe if I had been in her shoes I might have chosen what she did but I don't know. All I can say it is to damn bad in a wealthy country like ours people can't have universal health care then they would be put in situations like this. I'm glad she was able to get social security because she paid into like the rest of us. What would have you have done with your pride if your sister wasn't able to have social security or any health care? Would you and your siblings and parents help her financially? That is why these programs were put into being. People were falling through the cracks. Besides that our politicians are bought and paid for every single day and they are working against the working people. By the way my aunt who was a very hard work who had very bad feet that she ended up in a wheel chair. She had many surgeries and she was in her late 30s, or early 40s she applied for disability because of her condition. They turned her down and then she appealed. They called her to a medical board and when she walked in at the time they approved her disability. She didn't want to take it but she didn't have a choice. You do what you have to do.

[Saphire]

57. That was lovely.

[liberal_at_heart]

62. being able to work every once in a while is far from self sufficient

She obviously needed that money. Social Security allows you to make up to a certain amount before they reduce your benefits. They know that people who have disabilities may be able to work sometimes but may not be able to work enough to support themselves. I wouldn't say she was scamming the system. i would say she was doing what she needed to survive. I'm sorry for your loss. You speak very lovingly about her.

[notadmblnd]

68. First I'd like to say, I'm sorry or your loss.

Second, just because she worked when she could, does not mean she scammed the system. People that get Social security benefits are allowed to make a certain amount of money even if they are disabled. In fact when my husband became ill and went on Disability. He received benefits for both himself and our son. One day he received a letter from The Social Security Administration encouraging him to work if he could. They explained that he would not lose any benefits until after he made X amount of $$'s at which point they would reduce his benefit dollars. My husband had medical insurance through his employer so medicaid was not an issue. And when he died- and after I lost my job, I was eligible or survivors benefits as our son was under the age of 16. And although I chose not to work, I could have worked and supplemented SS up to a certain amount without losing any benefit. Once my son became 16, I lost those benefits but our son continued to receive them until he graduated high school. Social Security is what kept your sister and her children from becoming destitute just as it did for me and my son at the time. Your sister was a smart woman, not a scammer. She knew what it was that she was entitled to as a result of a disability. So don't feel bad, what she got is what she paid into it for.

People should not think of Social Security as a welfare program. It is an insurance policy that helps to provide for ourselves and our families in the case of disability or death.

[Thor_MN]

69. This year will be my 4th MS150 bike ride

150 miles, between Duluth and Minneapolis, MN. I have done it twice as a volunteer, this will be my 4th time riding.

Prior to today, I had four reasons to ride, now I have five.

[IdaBriggs]

70. {{{Thor_MN}}}

Thank you for that! Would you mind sharing the link for your donation page? I would like to make a pledge in my sister's honor in appreciation for your kind words.

(If you would prefer to PM it for the sake of anonymity, that would be welcome, too.)

[Thor_MN]

86. I don't mind at all.

We just had our organizational meeting yesterday, I set up my page somewhat today.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/MNMBikeEvents?px=7956837&pg=personal&fr_id=19263

[juajen]

71. Thank you for that insight.

Free healthcare for all would solve a lot of problems. There are many who need the care so badly that in times when they could work, they do it under the table for fear of losing what is most important, their healthcare. Because of fear of discovery, a lot of people would be more innovative and be independent of government monetary support, if only.

[emmadoggy]

72. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your sister's birthday was the same day as mine, except she was born 3 years before me.

You are so correct that our system is not designed to work for people like your sister. She did what she had to do to MAKE it work. She was taken from your family far too soon. I know a bit about that, and it is not an easy thing to go through. I hope her daughters are doing well.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[LiberalBeliever]

73. Just beautiful

What a great memorial for your sister. It highlights the fact that we should make it easier for people to get and keep help and we should try harder to find a cure. Thanks it brought a tear. Sorry for your loss.

[JayhawkSD]

74. "She was a complicated person."

Yes, most people are. The fact that you know it means that you paid attention. Bless you.

Your point about the link between monetary aid and health care is a very good one. One more reason for truely universal health care, and by that I do not mean health insurance. I mean health care.

[Raster]

75. Your sister didn't "scam the system." She did what she needed to do...

...to survive. Thank you for sharing her story.

Bless your heart.

[Turbineguy]

76. I would not call it "scamming".

More like coping.

[FarPoint]

77. I render IV medications to MS clients.

Often I infuse them with Tysabri on a monthly program and others with Solu Medrol for exacerbation episodes. Current medications are fantastic....the quality of life has been revived with such treatments...

So sorry to hear you lost your sister to MS.

[Jasana]

80. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister and I have some idea of how she felt...

I have MS as well. It started in the relapsing/remitting stage but during that time I was still able to work... for awhile. Like your sister i got "less better" after each attack. For a long time the docs couldn't figure out what it was. (Apparently, I have another still as of yet unnamed condition attacking my CNS so my symptoms didn't appear as "normal.&quot

Two years I spent trying to get on SSDI. In the meantime, I was medically bankrupted. Now I appear to be in the secondary progressive stage of the disease. (Along with the as of yet unnamed condition.) I don't game the system. Frankly, I haven't had the time but I can understand why she did. This is a truly horrific disease. It is a disease I often said I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But there are days lately that I wish I could. If only to give them a taste of its unpredictability and terror.

I spend my days trying to live in Massachusetts on less that $15,000 per year. Not en easy task. What's even more frightening is that I am responsible for taking care of my elderly grandmother. She's 88 and takes in a little under $600.00 per month. How in God's name does anybody expect an elderly widow to live on less that $600.00 per months? It's obscene. We do our best together. It's all we can do. Thanks for telling your sister's story. It gave me the courage to tell mine.

[IdaBriggs]

81. Thank you for sharing - and allow me to curse

that things aren't any better, even after all of these years!!!

Is there anyone else who can help take care of your grandmother? I know 'stress' was bad for my sister....?

[Jasana]

82. Thanks again. Even your curse is heartfelt...

unfortunately, my family is very small... both small in size and in mind. It's me and Grandma against the world. Hey, at least we have each other. We're very close.

[WilliamPitt]

84. My wife has MS

Your sister's story is the stuff of my nightmares.

Thank you for this.

[IdaBriggs]

85. I'm sorry.