Music Industry Footnote Declares Anti-Gay Bigotry

[Orrex]

Last edited Tue Mar 19, 2013, 10:45 AM - Edit history (2)

(Today's Music) Long-forgotten performer Michelle Shocked stunned her dozen remaining fans this past weekend with a rambling impromptu screed against homosexuals, during which the few people who'd ever heard of her collectively decided that she should sink back into the near-anonymity that she'd enjoyed for so many years.

Media analysts speculated that more people have disdainfully uttered her name since her outburst than have purchased her albums during her entire dubious career. After being reminded of who Michelle Shocked was, less than one critic in fifty could recall even a single song by the artist.

"Something about green, maybe?" wondered one analyst. "But I think that was in like 1994. I don't know."

Many perceived an air of closure in the musician's diatribe, like finally turning off the light in an abandoned room.

Others commentators struck a more compassionate tone, however. "To be so totally irrelevant and overlooked for decades?" opined music critic Kasey Sewell, who first heard of Shocked two days ago. No wonder she went bitter and crazy."

The musician herself could not be reached for comment, mostly because no one had bothered to keep track of her since the 90s or had even realized that she was still touring.

[shenmue]

1. Apparently she joined a bad church

Ugh.

[Orrex]

2. Ugh indeed.

Can't say that I was ever a fan, but I have to admit that I wouldn't have anticipated this crazed & hateful outburst from her, church or no church.

[REP]

3. Lindy West of Jezebel had a good rant about her:

Beyond the fact that WHAT THE FUCK, MICHELLE, I honestly just don't understand how human beings can justify wasting their time on shit like "who that dude from spin class wants to marry." And I certainly don't understand how anyone with basic critical thinking skills can characterize those views—that one person wanting to make out with another person has some grave, cosmic, supernatural consequence for the universe—as ANYTHING but mindless-indoctrination-bordering-on-brainwashing. There is no logic here. Even Biblical scholars will tell you that there is no logic here. So aren't you guys embarrassed? You're essentially announcing that you believe in magic and Richard Simmons is Lord Voldemort. Get a fucking grip. Go for a walk.