The REAL Komen apology (totally stolen from my friend's facebook status)...
"We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that resulted in completely unexpected scrutiny of our CEO's unconscionably high salary ($450K+), obscenely high overhead to actual good ratio, longstanding links to Republican politicians, huge budget for taking oppressive legal actions against other charities that dar...e use the word 'cure,' vast marketing and lobbying budgets, and long-standing history of secretly lobbying against federal assistance to women with breast cancer.
Based upon the last ten years, we truly had no idea that we couldn't do whatever the hell we wanted with gullible contributors' money. We thought that the corpse of our CEO's sister was an impenetrable shield that protected all of our actions from scrutiny or accountability. We appreciate your support while we try to figure out WTF has changed.
However, although the sudden spike in scrutiny and precipitous drop in fundraising and sponsorships scared the crap out of us, we want to assure all of you that, even as we desperately attempt to salvage something out of the conflagration burning our brand to the ground, we will continue to flat-out lie to your face and generally assume you are all still such credulous imbeciles that we can shamelessly stick to obvious falsehoods or change our story from minute to minute as whim or panic dictate.
Now please stop looking into our finances, lobbying and legal activities and strong political connections with right wing politicians. Stop it right now or Susan will be angry, very angry with you. Thank you."
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