REPUBLICANS AGREE TO STOP USING WORD “SCANDAL” IN EVERY SENTENCE IF OBAMA RESIGNS
MAY 16, 2013
REPUBLICANS AGREE TO STOP USING WORD “SCANDAL” IN EVERY SENTENCE IF OBAMA RESIGNS
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ
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Agreeing that America was suffering from “scandal fatigue,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R.-S. Carolina) said, “If even one of these scandals turns out to be real, it will be bigger than the creation of the universe,” adding that he and his fellow Republican senators were prepared to take turns standing in the well of the Senate chanting the word “scandal” until President Obama steps down.
“Rand Paul has personally offered to say the word ‘scandal’ for eleven hours,” he said.
On Fox News Channel, host Sean Hannity said that the American people were weary of hearing “nothing but scandal, scandal, scandal,” noting that Fox personalities had used the word “scandal” no fewer than thirty thousand times in the past four days.
“The only way President Obama can bring these scandals to a satisfying resolution is by resigning from office. Otherwise, he’s subjecting the American people to the ugly spectacle of scandal upon scandal upon scandal,” he said, adding, “Upon scandal.”
the rest:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/republicans-agree-to-stop-using-word-scandal-in-every-sentence-if-obama-resigns-washington.html?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%28123%29
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