Grown Ups Only, Please. Adult "sex" discussion in this thread.
Last edited Fri May 17, 2013, 01:51 PM - Edit history (1)
What follows is an "Ida Lecture" about an ADULT topic for those who missed it in school.
It is intended for the (minority group) who support "if I don't want a baby, you should get an abortion so I don't have to pay child support."
Some people may find it condescending and sarcastic. Congratulations on your excellent reading comprehension abilities!
[h2]"SEX: It isn't just for Recreation - our species uses it for PROCREATION."[/h2]
Here is the thing: Sex with ORGASMS (I warned you this was "adult talk"
is enjoyable. Frequently adults wish to engage in Sexual Activity as "recreation" - either to have a nice orgasm, or to feel intimate with someone, or maybe because it can burn a lot of calories and they don't want to go to the gym.
There are many reasons people choose to have SEX, and sometimes, it is even "on purpose" for "procreation."
Here is the BIG secret: apparently men's bodies are designed so that "procreation" is Super Fun. This is how our species procreates: a man has to have a "Super Fun Time" for ejaculation to occur (aka an "orgasm"
for his "baby making bits" to impregnate his partner.
Women do NOT have to have a "Super Fun Time" to get pregnant, but smart men usually figure out women who have "Super Fun Times" while having sex are usually willing to have sex more often.
BUT men RARELY want to have as many children as they want to have opportunities for sex - and sex isn't always a guarantee of procreation - and women (who not all that long ago dealt with "one out of three pregnancies will result in the death of the mother, the baby, or both"
like to control the number of offspring they produce, who they produce them with, and when they produce them.
Enter Birth Control. It isn't always guaranteed to work, but if you want to have "Super Fun Times" for recreational ONLY purposes, it is an absolute MUST.
NEWSFLASH (from 1973): Currently women get to decide whether or not they will carry or terminate a pregnancy; nine months of nurturing a growing human being (risking death and/or other medical complications) is both a privilege, and a responsibility, and issues like "appropriate partner", "finance" and "health" are usually considered when a woman makes this decision.
For the fair minded, the question arises: should a "future daddy" have any say? After all, if he was just involving himself in "recreational sex", then why should he have to pay "child support" for "accidental procreation"?
To those people, I politely point out adults understand we are biologically programmed for "procreation" and the trick nature gave us to indulge it was making it "Super Fun." If you are adult enough to engage in sexual intercourse, you are old enough to understand that one of the risks of "Super Fun" sex is pregnancy, and that even mitigating those risks does not make them go away.
If you are a man who does not wish to procreate, your options are either celibacy or minimally invasive surgery.
But, wah! wah! say the cry babies. "I was just trying to have some fun! I didn't know she was going to make a baby on me!"
Congratulations. Nature has tricked you into creating life. Your job is now to PROVIDE for your offspring. The mother of your child may (or may not) wish to give you "Super Fun Times" again in the future, but frankly, nature has tricked her worse than you because now she has to deal with your whining, plus a small child.
We can only hope the mother of your child was selective enough to only have sex with a mature, responsible, kind, intelligent, financially stable, non-criminal, good-example-of-how-to-be-a-decent-human-being guy, but unfortunately, her hormones have probably tricked her into breeding with someone who may not be all of those things - "but I thought he loved me!" will be her explanation when she has to explain to your child why you don't live together/you have another family (or two)/there isn't money for diapers, etc., while you can always proffer the "your mama was hot and I was horny!" defense.
Either way, if she decides your genes are worth carrying forward into the human gene pool/her time and energy, you will be paying child support (one way or the other) for the next eighteen years.
Trust me - if you are someone who can't provide for himself, let alone your offspring, the rest of us aren't happy about it either. (Somehow the guys who can't afford condoms are always the ones who keep making kids - sigh - this is what happens when someone is flat broke, and nature has attached "fun toys" to their bodies.)
Either way, life isn't fair, and "abortion" is still the woman's choice.
Hopefully you now understand that "orgasms are not always recreational in nature; sometimes you create a child."
If you don't want to pay, it is easiest NOT TO play. (Or have surgery. That works, too.)
End Educational Discussion of "SEX: It isn't just for Recreation!"
ON EDIT: Please be on the look out for an upcoming "Part 2: Getting Happy and Squishy May Also Get You Pregnant" where we will also discuss why "procreation" requires specific insertion points by male/female pairings (but other stuff still counts as SEX, too).
= new reply since forum marked as read
I asked them to imagine writing out a check for EIGHTEEN (or more) years to a woman they knew once upon a time, and who may be telling their kid what a schlub he is, ans who may not want him to have much contact with the kid...and every time he gets a raise, so does she & the kid..and every child visitation is a court issue (with the attendant costs)
I think it worked too well.. Our middle son just became a Dad at 34 and the other two are married but childless so far (aged 39 & 33) 
So glad it was appreciated! 
I mean ... oh, dear! 
Bravo IdaBriggs! 
Hopefully I at least got the "sarcastic and condescending" right!
And me remembering a few other posters whining about paying child support (for some reason, they just *really* stick in my craw).
Didn't mean to be overly sensitive - so sorry!
Anti-abortion fundies aren't actually "anti-choice", since they're quick to point out that women have choices other than abortion. IE, adoption, birth control, or the ever-popular abstinence.
If that's too much $$$ for you, you're probably not yet out of grade school. 
unless you're suggesting we distribute free condoms to grade schoolers.
The poster to whom I replied to seemed to think it his "right" to have sex with a female
without assuming possible financial responsibility for a pregnancy which might occur.
Not a good idea, since even condoms aren't 100 percent. 
"... good-example-of-how-to-be-a-decent-human-being guy ..."
and you focused on "financially stable" as the "impossible" standard to meet?
that the woman is the one who will carry the pregnancy to term if she so chooses, so SHE and SHE ALONE makes the decision, and the other parent has to accept it.
Oh, how my heart bleeds for these poor, put upon victims.
So given that everyone else handed that individual their ass in response-- I count at least 20 vehement disagreements, not including you and me 
-- assuming the mass drubbing in the subthread wasn't enough, wouldn't it make more sense for the OP to send them a PM than start another entire thread responding to one outlying opinion?
due to be released REALLY SOON (probably not! lol!) and I have edited the original post to reflect that.
It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but some of those winners were making me grind my teeth - this seemed a healthier approach - lol!
Yup, getting happy about an upcoming "Super Fun Time" can also get you there.
Perhaps I shall write a "Part 2 Post" which shall include this, along with a disclaimer about how "Super Fun Times" resulting in procreation (as opposed to recreation) require specific insertion points by both male and female participants.
One always forgets that condescending and sarcastic posts aimed at "Sex Education Flunkies" who require news flashbacks from 1973 need to be EXTREMELY detailed and anatomically correct lest lawsuits for my failure to properly educate flood the court systems at DU.
It is annoying, isn't it?
ever walked this earth.
The single momhood? It happened for the right reason... and there was no need to blame it on "love" to my daughter.
Everyone deserves Super Fun Time. 
Response to IdaBriggs (Original post)
Welcome to DU
If you want good sex stuff on a discussion board, along with politics, ufos, cool stuff, all political parties, etc - go to Reddit. It has a more adult and open flavor where people can discuss anything and different views are welcome.
DU is more narrow and focused on politics and news for the most part.
Although we did have some 'porn' when we had femen showing their breasts - and trust me, women not wearing their shirts does not go over well with some folks here. Good lord if we had fully nude people here and you looked at the pic for more than 1 second it would be staring and you would be labeled a sexist pig and no one would hold the door open for you on the way out (yeah, we don't hold doors either).
Response to The Straight Story (Reply #66)
there is the Lounge where flirting and innuendo are pretty common
I have heard rumors that some members engage in "private message sex" as well as meeting in real life. (there have been a few weddings, even)
the "rule" is "you take your chances" - in other words there are no rules forbidding discussion (though hard core pornographic imagery is a Terms of Service violation) and if you cross a line, a jury will hide your post(s) - however I don't recommend pushing boundaries before you get to a few hundred posts.
welcome to DU
a real adult. I wish our whole society could be this realistic and adult about human sexuality only. No religious implications just straightforward information. thank you.
