Belichick To Tebow: ‘I’m Your Lord And Savior Now’

[iandhr]

BOSTON—Warning that he was a dark and vengeful God, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly pulled aside Tim Tebow at the team’s facilities Thursday and informed the backup quarterback that he was his only Lord and savior now. “This is your church now, and you shall worship me,” said Belichick, who sources confirmed clutched Tebow’s throat and slammed the former Heisman Trophy winner against a concrete wall. “If you want to see a wrathful God, then question me on playing time. I will crush you into dust. And if I ever see you on your knees, you better be praying to me or you will be destroyed by my blistering fury.” At press time, Tebow told reporters that he was renouncing Jesus Christ

http://www.theonion.com/articles/belichick-to-tebow-im-your-lord-and-savior-now,33038/

[Initech]

1. OK I may hate Bill Belicheck, but that would be hilarious if he actually said that!

[LiberalFighter]

4. I would support him doing that.

If Bill has the ability give him the look that kills.

[warrant46]

2. Ah--- The Onion from MAD City WI

[NightWatcher]

3. Remember, OJ Simpson won the Heisman too

[11 Bravo]

12. Are you honestly equating Tim Tebow with O J Simpson?

While I personally find public displays of piety to be somewhat ostentatious, I don't actually find them quite as disturbing as a double murder. (But that's just me.)

[NightWatcher]

13. Yes, of course I am

No, of course I'm not. That's just plain silly.

[Demo_Chris]

14. Taken singly sure, but what about multiples of each?

Just asking questions here.

[neverforget]

5. love The Onion!

[friendlyFRIEND]

6. threads like this always need an Onion disclaimer in the title nt

[iandhr]

7. Whats the fun in that?

[Iggo]

9. + 1

[hrmjustin]

8. LMFAO!!!

Wish it was true.

[Union Scribe]

10. "Now hack the sleeves off these sweatshirts for me." nt

[bluedigger]

11. ROFLMAO.

[frylock]

15. love it!